Key Points
-
HER is a fully inclusive and diverse dating and social platform.
-
Anyone on the LGBTQ+ spectrum should use HER to connect with potential romantic partners and new friends in the community.
-
It's free to use plenty of features on HER, but you can upgrade to a paid membership for more advanced features.
-
HER offers far more than dating — join virtual events, chat in forum communities, and attend real-life, local events to feel a warm welcome from the LGBTQ+ community.
Most mainstream dating apps are for cishet (cisgender, heterosexual) people. The advertisements show a man and a woman holding hands; you're pre-set to swipe on the opposite gender; and there are only two options for your gender. However, dating apps now have features that cater to LGBTQ+ people, including switching the gender you're interested in and adding pronouns to your profile.
The caveat is that when you swipe looking for queer women, your feed is full of unicorn hunters — straight couples looking for a fantasy woman to spice up their sex lives. While we love unicorns, this is such a small part of the women-loving women (WLW) experience.
HER is an app that welcomes all LGBTQ+ people to wave their freak flags high! Enjoy a safe space to be totally yourself and interact with cool, gay people. It's a dating app, a social media platform, and a queer event calendar all in one. There are so many cool features that it's exceeded my expectations. Plus, the environment feels safe, free, and colorful.
by HER
Meet HER
HER is a niche LGBTQ+ dating app for anyone identifying as lesbian, bisexual, non-binary, pansexual, or queer. The goal is to create a safe and inclusive space for queers to connect, flirt, and find nearby events for the LGBTQ+ community. HER has a lot more users than other women-oriented dating apps, boasting over 10 million. This creates opportunities for you to match with plenty of people and make connections in over 125 countries.
HER prioritizes diversity and inclusivity. That's why anyone within the LGBTQ+ is welcome and encouraged to join. As the name suggests, it's originally for women to use, but anyone is welcome regardless of their position on the gender spectrum. People of color are also celebrated and intentionally featured in login pages, advertisements, and the community.
For a verified profile on HER, you must provide your ID and proof of active social media. This ensures that you're a real person and serious about using the app. Look for other verified users to ensure they are who they say they are. While HER actively takes safety precautions to remove fake users and respond to reports, it's always important for you to take your own safety precautions.
Matching on HER works like many other dating sites. You apply swipe filters according to your preferences and swipe through profiles to see who you're interested in. If you and another cutie like each other, it's a match! You now have the opportunity to chat and potentially set up a spicy first date.
HER Profiles
HER profiles are similar to other dating apps — photos or videos, bio, and some personality attributes. There are plenty of sexual and gender identity labels to add to your profile. You can also choose to self-describe your identities or wave a no-label flag if you prefer not to be "put in a box."
Tell users what you're looking for right on your profile. Do you want a sexy fling, something casual, a friend, or a wife? Are you interested in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship? Maybe you don't know what you want, and that's okay too. HER is a safe space to be yourself and truly express your desires. Be openly trans, queer, kinky, or bland on the app!
Add cute pride pins to your profile to self-proclaim as a "Lipstick Lez," "Pillow Princess," "U-Haul Lesbian, "Dyke," "Daddy," "Stud," and so much more. This is a fun and silly way to let other users know what type of queer you are! This could never happen on a mainstream, cishet app.
There's way more to your personality than being queer, of course. Include other pins on your profile for your passions, career, and love language. Show the sea of singles what you're like and what you're looking for. HER's profiles are aesthetically pleasing and thorough enough to show your personality to other users.
HER Memberships
Most niche dating apps require a paid subscription to get good use out them. However, HER has the most freedom for users on a free membership. You can swipe, chat, and actually meet people without paying a dime. As a free member, you have a limited number of daily swipes and you only have access to swipe filters for age and location. You can still add friends, initiate chats, find local events, and join social communities.
Paid members have access to more features, but they're not necessary to enjoy the app. As a paid member, you have more daily swipes and additional swipe filters, including one for sexuality. You also avoid ads, see who's online, and can utilize incognito mode. Incognito mode allows you to use the app and swipe, but only people you like can see your profile. This hides your profile from the pool of users and protects your identity — which might be necessary for those still in the closet.
One of the main complaints about the app is advertisements to upgrade to a premium subscription. While these may be annoying, it's certainly the least of my worries when using a free dating platform. If you upgrade to one of the paid membership options, you no longer receive this advertisement.
by HER
HER Community
HER prioritizes a community feeling with features beyond swiping for cuties. Join social communities, similar to forums, to chat and meet with other gals of the LGBTQ+ world. There are so many options for you to get involved. There are large communities for bisexuals and lesbians, as well as groups for "good vibes only" and "40+ community." Pick which ones speak to you and get involved in the beautiful gay community of women.
According to genderqueer author, mental health counselor, fire dancer, and queer theorist Alex Stitt, "Finding people who share aspects of our lived experience can be incredibly affirming, especially for LGBTQ+ youth in rural areas. In fact, the internet is where many first encounter a supportive LGBTQ+ community and learn about the grassroots of queer culture. Given the absence of healthy LGBTQ+ representation in media, we often have to create our own content."
To give even more of a community feel, HER plans virtual events for you to attend. Most involve online speed dating. Join pansexual speed dating, holiday speed dating, and more for just five dollars a session. When the time comes, put on your friendliest smile and join the link HER provides you. This creates a fun way to meet people online without swiping through profiles for hours.
Besides virtual events, HER also organizes real-life events. Keep an eye out for an event near you, or plan your own! This is perfect for women who don't love dating app culture and anyone else who wants to go out and mingle with hotties. As of Pride Month 2023, there are only 27 lesbian bars left in America. That's totally not enough! HER helps to plan events for lesbos to gather since there isn't a designated space to go in most cities.
Find Love and Community
Enhance your queer experience by surrounding yourself with beautiful LGBTQ+ people on HER. There are so many opportunities to connect with people you have things in common with. Join this safe, inclusive app to foster connections with new friends, communities, and lovers — without explaining or downplaying your identity to matches!
For more advice on dating apps as a queer woman, subscribe to Cupid's Light.
