Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex and Enhancing Oral Pleasure with Toys

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Key Points

  • Oral sex is the amazing, intimate act of stimulating someone's genitals with your mouth.

  • Oral sex is often the foreplay for penetrative sex but works as the main act perfectly.

  • When performing oral on a penis, combine stroking patterns from your hand with sucking and licking.

  • To perform oral on a vulva, try different patterns with your tongue on or around the clitoris and incorporate your hands on the G-spot or other parts of the body.

  • There are plenty of sex toys to enhance your oral experiences with a partner or replicate them on your own.

There are so many ways to pleasure your partner in the bedroom. Using your hands, mouth, genitals, sex toys, and full body, you can find endless things that feel good and excite you both. If you're not used to using your mouth on someone, especially on their genitals, you're about to open the door to a whole new realm of pleasure.

With proper hygiene, consent, and communication, oral sex is a dreamy way to connect intimately with a partner and bring them pleasurable bliss. Plus, it's pretty amazing to perform it on someone! According to statistics published in May 2023, 80 percent of Americans find pleasure in oral sex, but 25 percent are self-conscious when engaging. How do you get more comfortable? Educate yourself and communicate with your partner!

What Is Oral Sex?

Oral sex is a playful and intimate form of sexual activity that involves using your mouth, lips, and tongue to stimulate your partner's genitalia, typically the penis (fellatio) or the vulva and clitoris (cunnilingus). This is often incorporated into sexual encounters as foreplay, the main act, or little spicy sessions scattered throughout.

Oral sex is an age-old practice enjoyed by individuals and couples throughout history. Its origins trace back to ancient cultures, where it was often considered an art form and even a symbol of fertility. Today, oral sex serves a variety of purposes in sexual relationships. It's a way to express love and affection, enhance intimacy, and provide pleasure to both partners.

So, why does oral sex feel so good? The mouth and tongue are incredibly sensitive and versatile, capable of providing a wide range of sensations. The tongue and lips are soft and moist, providing an amazing sensation to the receiver. When performed skillfully, oral sex stimulates nerve endings, creating intense sensations that many people find highly pleasurable. Additionally, the act of giving and receiving oral sex fosters emotional closeness and trust, deepening the connection between partners. Many people find it very sexy to lick their partner and receive licking!

When engaging in oral sex, communication is key. Open and honest discussion about preferences, boundaries, and consent is essential to ensure both partners feel comfortable and satisfied. Remember that everyone's likes and dislikes vary, so taking the time to explore and discover what feels best for you and your partner is part of the fun.

Incorporating Oral Sex With a Partner

If you're not used to giving or receiving oral sex, it's quite intimidating. Likewise, if you're with a new partner, it's often nerve-wracking to start exploring their pleasures. Be confident in your abilities and desires — it's sexy! Communication is key in introducing oral sex into the bedroom. If you're worried your partner won't like what you do, simply ask them beforehand what they enjoy.

Hygiene is of utmost importance during oral sex. Make sure you keep your genitals fresh and clean if you want someone to lick them. If you're not in a monogamous relationship and haven't both tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), consider using a dental dam or condom for protection. Discuss your sexual history to know if you need protection.

Consent, comfort, and communication are paramount throughout the experience. The key to great oral pleasure is being attentive to each other's needs, openly communicating, and being willing to adapt and explore together.

It's one thing to learn how to give oral, but being a good receiver is important too. It's impossible for your partner to know what you like without them telling you! According to a doctor of human sexuality and sex coach, Dr. Emily Morse, "When your partner’s preoccupied down there, they might miss your looks of ecstasy that signal when they’re hitting the spot. That’s where you cue the signs that say, 'I love that.' 

"There are many ways to tell your partner to keep going, stay there, do this, and do that again. It’s as simple as letting your breathing do the talking, and don’t hold back as it naturally deepens and speeds up when you come closer to orgasm. You can gently guide their head with your hands to an area that craves their attention. If your partner has a free hand, reach down and move it to stimulate another area on your body that turns you on."

Technique for a Penis

Providing oral pleasure to a penis owner is a personal experience, and what works best varies from person to person. There are some general techniques and tips to start with to make the experience more enjoyable for both you and your partner.

Before diving in, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about their preferences, boundaries, and any specific desires they have. Communication is essential to ensuring a satisfying experience for both of you. This conversation isn't as scary or awkward as you think! Start by asking your partner: "Would you like it if I sucked on you?" or "I'm so turned on by the thought of tasting you. Does that turn you on?"


When the opportunity presents itself, or you artfully create the moment, don't rush. You've likely been making out for a while, perhaps rubbing your bodies together and rubbing your hands all over. When you want to move south, begin slowly and sensually to build anticipation. Tease and explore different areas of the genital region, including the inner thighs and perineum, before moving to more direct stimulation.

Incorporate your hands to enhance the experience. Gently caress, stroke, or cup the testicles. Grab their butt, rub their thighs, or start stroking their shaft. Don't take too long to get your mouth on their member — not everyone likes teasing!

To The Action

When you're ready, and you sense that your partner is ready, move to their penis. Start with a long lick up the shaft, or slowly insert it into your mouth. Use your saliva to lubricate the member, or add some water-based lubricant if you need more. Intuitively pleasure them by licking the tip, sucking the shaft, and incorporating hand movement into the base of the penis. Progressively add intensity and speed to your movements according to your partner's reaction.

Experiment with different techniques, such as using your tongue to trace circles around the tip or shaft, applying varying degrees of pressure, and changing the rhythm. Pay attention to your partner's verbal and non-verbal cues to gauge what they enjoy the most. Many men find that focused attention on the tip or glans of the penis is particularly pleasurable. Use your tongue and lips to stimulate this sensitive area.

Firmly hold your lips around the shaft as you move up and down. Use a hand to stroke the part of the shaft that isn't in your mouth. Take a break from sucking and switch to your hand while your mouth moves to the testicles for licking or sucking. Get creative and explore their body!

If you're comfortable and your partner enjoys it, try deep-throating, but remember to communicate and go at a pace that feels right for both of you. Making eye contact during oral sex is incredibly sensual and creates a deeper emotional connection.

Try out Alex Cooper's famous Gluck Gluck 9000 if you're feeling bold. This blowjob technique requires two hands on the shaft, even if it's just a thumb and point finger wrapped around, or maybe two full hands according to the size of the penis. Twist your hands in opposite directions while moving them up and down. Be sloppy, loud, and intense with your mouth. As Cooper says, pretend like you're dehydrated in the Sahara Desert and the dick is a gallon of water!

Every man has their own preferences, so feed off of how loud they are, the way their body is moving, and any verbal encouragement they give you. In general, the more intense, enthusiastic, and sloppy you are, the better! Just be careful not to nick them with your teeth (unless they ask for it).

Techniques for a Vulva

Cunnilingus is an intimate and highly pleasurable form of oral sex that enhances intimacy and satisfaction in a sexual relationship. Open and honest communication is crucial. Talk to your partner about their desires, boundaries, and what they enjoy during cunnilingus. If you want to give cunnilingus to your partner, ask them with a sexy approach. "The thought of licking you really turns me on. Would you like that?" or "I would love to know how you taste. Do you want to feel me lick your clit?" Be creative, straightforward, and open to any response.


When the time is right, start with a bit of foreplay to build anticipation and get the lady bits ready for action. Kiss, caress, and explore your partner's body, working your way towards their genital area. Kiss down their neck while you gently squeeze their nipples, gently lick and kiss their belly, and kiss down their inner thighs. Building anticipation and teasing a little bit prepares your partner, and it feels so good when you finally make it to their clitoris.

Get Going

When you and your partner are ready to lick the genitals, start with the vulva. The vulva is a complex and sensitive area. Use your lips and tongue to explore different parts, including the labia, clitoral hood, and clitoris. Pay attention to your partner's reactions to gauge what they enjoy the most.

Remember, the clitoris doesn't self-lubricate like the inside of the vagina. Just a little bit of saliva should do the trick, but feel free to add a bit of water-based lubricant if you and your partner prefer.

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the vulva and a key source of pleasure for many women. Gently and rhythmically stimulate the clitoral area with your tongue and lips. Experiment with different patterns and pressures to find what your partner likes best. Some clitoris owners prefer indirect stimulation, where you lick and caress around the clitoris. Others like direct, constant stimulation. Explore what your partner reacts to best.

Incorporate your hands to provide additional stimulation. Use your fingers to gently explore the vaginal entrance or to stimulate the G-spot, if your partner enjoys it. Experiment with different techniques, such as using the tip of your tongue, flat licks, or gentle sucking motions. Again, pay attention to your partner's cues to adjust your approach accordingly.

A common technique to make a woman orgasm is using two fingers with the "come hither" motion on the G-spot while licking the clitoris. Consistency in your movements can help build and sustain pleasure. Find a rhythm that works for both you and your partner. A common piece of advice, although half a joke, is to spell the alphabet with your tongue. While I'm not suggesting you actually write your name or sing your ABCs, this gives you a good sense of experimenting with different patterns with your tongue.

If your partner prefers no fingering during oral, use your hands to caress their thighs or bum, stimulate their nipples, or touch other parts of their body. Many women enjoy pressure in and down on their lower abdomen just above the pubis. Depending on their anatomy, this could make their clitoris more sensitive.

Your partner's moans and sighs are incredibly arousing. Encourage them to vocalize their pleasure, and let your own enthusiasm show through your breath and sounds to enhance the experience. It's such a turn-on when the giver enjoys what they're doing too!

When you find a stimulation that encourages great feedback from your lady, don't change your game! Many people make the mistake of getting faster and harder when someone is on the brink of orgasm. Try your hardest to stay consistent and allow them to squirm in their pleasure. Slow and steady truly wins the race with cunnilingus.

Oral Sex Positions

People often talk about the different sex positions for penetrative sex, but what about oral sex? There's so much more to sex than penetration! Explore some sensual and delicious oral sex positions to turn you on and bring you the most impressive stimulation.

Each of these positions works regardless of your gender. Try them out and see which brings you the dirtiest thoughts and the most blissful sensations.

Lying Down

Classics are classic for a reason — it's simple, reliable, and easy to remember. The receiver lays down on the bed, legs spread and ready to receive. The giver lies between their legs on their stomach. Easy enough, right?

If you want to spice it up a bit or explore different positions from here, try pivoting to the side or putting a pillow under your bum. Women can also lay on their stomachs while receiving, although it may be more difficult to access the clitoris for some.

The Giraffe

The receiver lies flat on their back with their head on the edge, or slightly off the edge, of the bed. The receiver stands over them, facing towards them or away from them, with their legs spread on either side of their head. If the receiver faces the giver, they have the chance to lust after their body and perhaps reach down to touch it.

The giver has their hands free to explore their partner's body. Grab their bum to rhythmically move their hips along with your strokes. If the receiver has a penis, this position allows the giver to send the penis much deeper into the throat.

If you both wish, the receiver can be in control here by thrusting and moving their hips how they wish on the giver's mouth. Make sure you talk about it beforehand and have a stop signal!


Standing to receive oral is rather straightforward. The receiver stands, perhaps against a wall if they want a little support. The giver gets on their knees, perhaps on a pillow if they want to get comfortable down there. Then proceed to give some amazing head!

The 69

Perhaps one of the most famous sex positions, 69 is a position in which both people give and receive oral at the same time. You can 69 with one person lying on their back and the other person on top, with each person's face in the other's genitals. Alternatively, you can both lay on your side so nobody is getting crushed.

Doggy Style

Doggy style is a popular position for penetrative sex. The receiver assumes position as if they're receiving doggy-style penetration: On all fours, legs spread, perhaps laying on your chest and face, or using your arms to prop up your upper body. The giver lays flat on their back, head between the receiver's legs, face up to the genitals. Enjoy!

Sex Toys for Oral

There are always ways to enhance your sexual experiences to something incredible. Explore some oral-enhancing devices to use with your partner or some oral-replicating toys to use on your own. Make sure you communicate with your partner before whipping sex toys out in the bedroom. Don't forget to add some water-based lube if you need it!

Sex Toys Nipple Clamps, Adult Sex Toys & Games


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02/18/2024 10:16 am GMT

Enhance The Oral Experience: Nipple Clamps

Sometimes, your hands simply can't reach the nipples when you're down south, or you don't have enough hands to play with them! Adding nipple clamps during any sexual encounter increases stimulation. To bring your partner extra pleasure during oral sex, put some nipple clamps on them first (if they say it's okay).

Satin Bandage Blindfold Eye Mask


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02/18/2024 10:22 am GMT

Enhance The Oral Experience: Blindfold

By cutting off one sense, your other senses become heightened. Put a blindfold on your partner to introduce a bit of kink and increase their pleasure during oral sex. Make sure you discuss boundaries and consent first. Once you have permission, enjoy this addition to your oral experience.

This satin blindfold adds another sensual experience to the bedroom and leaves the receiver surprised as you explore their body.

Ling O Vibrating Tongue Ring - Oral Sex Toys

by Adam & Eve

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Enhance Oral Sex for Her: Ling O Vibrating Tongue Ring

Provide an extra buzz to her clit with Ling O Vibrating Tongue Ring. This device straps onto anyone's tongue and provides vibrations during oral sex. This little device perfectly adds vibrations to your lady while you get to lick her. If you easily fatigue during oral, or just want to give an extra boost of stimulation, try this little toy out next time you give oral.

Goodhead - Helping Head - Ultimate BJ Helper

by Doc Johnson

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02/18/2024 10:12 am GMT

Enhance Oral Sex for Him: Doc Johnson Helping Head

Add an extra point of stimulation to your blowjob with a Doc Johnson Helping Head. This handy little toy wraps a part of the penis at the base with internal textures and increased pressure, while you suck on the rest of the member. Add some lubrication under this toy, then glide it up and down, twist it around, and apply different amounts of squeezing to it. Bring your blow jobs to a new level with this Helping Head.

ORA 3 Oral Pleasure Massager

by LELO 

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02/18/2024 10:34 am GMT

Feels Like Oral Sex for Her: LELO Ora 3

This luxury sex toy has a moving node to replicate the feeling of a tongue twirling on your clitoris. Unlike most oral replications for women, the node of LELO Ora 3 doesn't just flick back and forth. It moves in circular patterns and semi-circles according to your selected setting. Add vibrations if you want to bring it up a level and guarantee an orgasm!

Turbo | Thrust | Blue Ice Blowjob Simulator
$69.95 ($69.95 / Count)

by Fleshlight

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02/18/2024 10:16 am GMT

Feels Like Oral Sex for Him: Fleshlight Turbo

Disguised as a flashlight, the Fleshlight Turbo mimics oral sex in a whole new way. Internal textures start with the soft, tight feeling of lips around your head. As you move the device down, you feel a soft, tongue-like feeling licking you. Finally, as you go deep into the device, it replicates the feeling of someone deep-throating you. Add some water-based lube before you get going, then enjoy suction and movement up and down your shaft.

Get Licking and Sucking

Whether you're a beginner or trying on a new partner, it's quite nerve-wracking to perform for someone else. Keep in mind that all consensual sex is good sex. There's no need to be a pro on your first try! Just relax and explore your partner's body to see what they like the most. As your mouth becomes more acquainted with their desires, show them spine-chilling pleasure. Pay attention to their reactions and be willing to learn.

For more advice on incorporating sex toys into your intimate life and advice for using them, subscribe to Cupid's Light.

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