Guide to Intimate Toys for Beginners

Woman sitting on bed next to a collection of vibrators and sex toys.

Key Points

  • Dipping your toes into the pleasurable world of sex toys is exciting but intimidating — where do you start?

  • Educate yourself about the different kinds of sex toys, safety, hygiene, communication, and consent.

  • Play with some toys on your own to connect with your sexuality and understand the pleasure of your body.

  • Introduce sex toys into the bedroom with a partner for new pleasures and experiences together.

Are you feeling sexually adventurous? Are you excited to find all the pleasures you can experience during sex? Do you want to step outside your comfort zone and try something new? Well, you've certainly come to the right place!

Sex toys are an exciting and novel way to discover the power of your body through sexual pleasure. There are many benefits to sex toys, including a boost for those who struggle to orgasm, help for men to maintain an erection, spicing things up in a long relationship, or sharing a magical evening with a partner. Regardless of your reasons for finding interest in sex toys, I'm glad you have!

Getting Started: Introducing Intimate Toys to Beginners

So, you're interested in sex toys? Amazing! Sex toys are tools to explore your body, enhance your pleasure, bond with a partner, and connect to your sexuality. Explore the joys of vibrators, dildos, cock rings, butt plugs, penile enhancers, male masturbators, Fleshlights, rabbit vibrators, nipple clamps, or anything else that excites you. Don't feel overwhelmed — start small and discover what calls to your body.

When introducing sex toys into your intimate life, it's important to understand the hygiene and safety of using sex toys. Here are some basic rules for using pleasure devices:

  • Thoroughly cleanse your toys with mild soap and warm water after every use and store them properly.

  • Apply a dollop of water-based, toy-safe lube to your toy and/or your genitals before use to increase pleasure and avoid any discomfort. 

  • Never put a toy in your vagina after it's been in your anus — this causes bacterial growth and infections.

  • If inserting toys into your anus, use plenty of lubrication and start slow. Only use toys with a wide base, intended for anal use, to prevent it from getting lost inside of you.

  • If using toys with a partner, first discuss boundaries, expectations, and consent to ensure everyone's comfort.

  • Wash your toy after sharing it with a partner, or put a condom on your toy to prevent the spread of STIs.

  • Be aware of potential laws in your region regarding sex toys before purchasing one (although, I say let them eat cake!).

  • Read manufacturer warnings and instructions before use to ensure you're using the toy safely.

  • Buy toys with body-safe materials such as silicone, glass, or stainless steel.

  • Start with smaller, less intimidating toys, and work your way up if you wish. 

  • Continuously educate yourself about sexual health and pleasure. Read articles and books, or watch videos to learn more about different techniques and how to use sex toys effectively.

  • If you're unsure about using sex toys with a partner, start by using them on your own to understand your preferences and build confidence.

Choosing the Right Toy for You

Choosing your first sex toy is an exciting and personal experience. Start by thinking about your desires, preferences, and what you hope to achieve with a sex toy. Do you like clitoral stimulation, penetration, anal play, or something else? Understanding your needs will guide your choice. If you're unsure, explore your body through masturbation and see where you might like some enhancement. 

There are countless types of sex toys available — do some research to discover what might work best for you. Read reviews, watch videos, and explore reputable websites or stores to get an idea of the options.

Consider the size and shape of the toy. If it's your first toy, you might want to start with something small and unintimidating. Think about what you find aesthetically appealing as well, as this enhances your excitement. Some sex toys offer various functions, such as vibration patterns or intensity settings. Decide whether you want a simple or more advanced toy with multiple features.

If you value discretion, consider the noise level of the toy. Quieter toys are important if you have roommates, nosey relatives, or thin walls. Many sex toys claim to be quiet, but read user reviews to be sure.

Buy your toy at a local shop to see it in person and make sure the size and features are good for you. Alternatively, research countless options online to find the perfect one for you. Most online shops offer discreet shipping for peace of mind. Check the return or exchange policy of the store or website in case the toy doesn't meet your expectations.

If you're still uncertain, don't hesitate to ask for advice from sex educators or store staff who are knowledgeable about sex toys. They can provide recommendations based on your preferences and needs.

Remember that your first sex toy should be something that excites and satisfies you, so take your time in making your decision. There's no rush, and it's perfectly normal to experiment and explore different options until you find the one that sends chills up your spine and guarantees you an orgasm.

Solo Play for Beginners: Exploring Self-Pleasure

Exploring your body and points of pleasure is an integral part of your sexual experiences. You're responsible for your own pleasure, and nobody else can know how to please you if you don't know how to please yourself. Plus, it's an amazing skill to know how to make yourself orgasm!

Be as romantic and intentional with yourself as you wish. Light some candles, play some music, and give yourself a massage. Make sure you're in a safe space where you don't need to worry about others hearing you or barging in on you. 

Watch some porn, listen to your favorite music, listen to audio porn, listen to guided masturbation or anything else that turns you on. Start exploring your body with your hands, rubbing your nipples, massaging your thighs, playing with your testicles, or rubbing your labia. Take your time and see what you like. Work your hands to your genitals when you want. Approach your self-exploration session without the goal of orgasm to see what you like and take your time.

When you're ready, introduce your toy to your body, and don't forget lube when using it on your genitals. If it's a vibrator, start by vibrating your vulva and other erogenous zones and eventually work your way to your clitoris. Start with low, slow settings and work your way up as anticipation builds. For a masturbator sleeve, start by slowly inserting your penis and working the device up and down slowly. Work with different pressures, grips, angles, and sensations. 

Use these instructions simply as inspiration and take the time to slowly explore your body. See what you like and what you don't like, and fantasize about what a partner can do to you. The more often you masturbate and take the time to explore your body, the better you understand your pleasure and connect to your sexuality. This boosts your confidence in the bedroom and everyday life! Plus, next time you're with a partner, you can show them how to please you.

Intimate Toys for Couples: Enhancing Shared Experiences

The use of intimate toys, when approached with care, communication, and consent, enhances a relationship in many ways. This exploration requires open and honest communication with your partner. Discussing your desires, fantasies, and boundaries leads to better overall communication in your relationship.

The positive effects of using intimate toys in a relationship depend on both partners being comfortable, consenting, and enthusiastic about their use. Understanding and respect for each other's boundaries are essential for a healthy and fulfilling experience. Not all people want to use sex toys, and that's okay!

Enhanced Intimacy

Using sex toys together deepens the emotional and physical intimacy between partners. Exploring new sensations and experiences creates a stronger connection as you learn more about each other, get more comfortable being vulnerable, and partake in adventure together. 

Sex toys add an element of playfulness and fun. Experimenting with different toys and techniques leads to laughter and enjoyment. It's thrilling going to the sex shop and fantasizing about using different things together. Take your new toy out of the box and laugh at the funny ways it moves. Get a rush when you use it on your partner and see their pleasure peak. The whole experience is quite exciting for couples!

Intimate toys provide an opportunity to explore new sexual experiences and add variety to your sex life. This keeps the excitement and passion alive in a long-term relationship and establishes the priority of pleasure and adaptation early in a relationship.

Sexual activity, including the use of sex toys, promotes relaxation and reduces stress. This is a great way for couples to unwind together and find a shared moment of pleasure and relaxation.

The decision to explore intimate toys together requires trust and consent. Sharing this experience strengthens the trust you have in each other. Engaging in intimate activities together, whether with or without toys, creates a sense of bonding and closeness. It reinforces the emotional connection between partners.

Enhanced Pleasure

Sex toys bring stimulation and pleasure that simply cannot compare to hands, tongues, and genitals (unless you've evolved to have a vibrating tongue). They enhance pleasure and bring new sensations to the bedroom for more fun and satisfying sexual encounters.

For some couples, sex toys address certain challenges, such as differences in sexual desire or physical limitations. They're a tool to overcome obstacles and maintain a fulfilling sex life. They ensure both partners feel satisfied during sexual encounters. This focus on mutual satisfaction creates a more equitable and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Sex toys help individuals feel more empowered and confident about their bodies and their ability to give and receive pleasure. This increased confidence improves the well-being of your relationship, your personal mental health, and even your willingness to engage in future sexual activities. A confidence boost is a life booster all around!

Beginner-Friendly Options

How do you know what toy to start with? If you're buying your first toy, you probably don't want to invest too much money yet or get more complicated toys. Once you know what you like, there are plenty of targeted and luxury sex toy options for you. For now, it's best to start with a budget-friendly, versatile toy. 

For Solo Play

Some toys enhance your masturbation sessions by mimicking the feel of different feelings during sex or bringing you more intense sensations. Choose a toy based on your favorite pleasure zone to start exploring all its power! Truthfully, any toy is a partner toy too if you want it to be. 

Flight Commander
$54.95 ($54.95 / Count)

by Fleshlight

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03/08/2024 10:22 pm GMT


Penis owners, if you want to train your stamina in bed or replicate the feeling of sex, start with a good old-fashioned Fleshlight. These toys disguised as flashlights come in a huge variety of options to feel like a mouth, anus, or vagina, according to your preference. Some are even modeled after the anatomy of famous porn stars to fulfill your fantasies!

Apply some lube inside your toy or to your member, and slowly insert. Adjust the suction to your liking and size, and start stroking and exploring what feels good. Make sure you clean your pocket pussy thoroughly after use, especially if you finish inside.

Egg Disposable Male Masturbator Sleeve


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03/08/2024 10:26 pm GMT


Upgrade your personal hand jobs with a TENGA Egg Masturbator. These small and discreet silicone toys add texture and variety to your sexual experiences. Add a bit of lube inside the egg or to your penis, and slip it on. Stroke the egg up and down your shaft, or pulsingly squeeze it on the tip where you're extra sensitive. Use your other hand on the rest of your shaft or testicles. Explore what feels best for you, and take your time enjoying the new, intense sensations. Introduce it in bed with a partner for a non-penetrative sex option, and make sure you clean it thoroughly after use!

Personal Massager for Muscle Relaxation

by plusOne 

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03/08/2024 10:11 pm GMT

plusOne Personal Massager

Looking to stimulate your clit? The plusOne Personal Massager is a perfect introduction to clitoral vibrators. This little toy has a variety of vibrational patterns and intensities to see what you like the most. It has some gentle, buzzy vibrations that provide quick and intense pleasure or deep, rumbly sensations that build anticipation and reach further into your body. This toy is powerful enough to interest seasoned users and is straightforward enough for newbies. I have a whole arsenal of toys and still use this one regularly! Plus, I bought it right at my local Target.

Pro40 Clitoral Sucking Toy

by Womanizer 

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03/08/2024 10:32 pm GMT


Ahh, the Womanizer. This revolutionary, pulsating toy took the sex toy industry by storm. Rather than playing with vibrations or rotations like many other sex toys, the Womanizer uses a small vacuum with light sucking sensations on your clitoris to bring you pure bliss. Many women who struggle to reach orgasm discover a whole new world of pleasure for their bodies through this toy. Some say it replicates the feeling of oral sex. Since the Womanizer became so popular, many dupes hit the market. Start with the original or read reviews before purchasing a more affordable wanna-be Womanizer.


If you love the feeling of penetrative sex or want to learn to love it, start playing with this versatile dildo — Lovehoney Sensual Waves Silicone Suction Cup Dildo. Explore how your body likes penetration, where your G-spot is, where your P-spot is, what different positions you enjoy, and what stroke patterns bring you pleasure. When you understand what sensations and movements you like inside of you, it's easy to tell a partner what to do! It's also easier to ride them into the sunset — er, I mean, to your own orgasm.

This dildo is also perfect to put into a strap-on for partner play or explore anal pleasure. Explore all the options for penetration with a toy! P.S. Suction cup it to your shower wall, floor, wall, or headboard for a new style of pleasure.

With a Partner

Just as you explore new pleasures through masturbation, it's so rewarding and exciting to explore pleasures with a partner. After you and your boo decide you want to try toys in the bedroom, it's time to decide which ones! Introduce your masturbation toys with a partner to dip your toes in, or invest in a toy to play with together and discover something new as a couple.

Tandem Couples Vibrating Ring


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03/08/2024 10:36 pm GMT

Vibrating Cock Ring

Vibrating cock rings are a perfect introduction to sex toys for couples and still well-loved by pros. A flexible ring tightly hugs the base of the penis to encourage blood flow to the shaft. This blood pooling increases sensitivity for the penis owner and gives a stronger erection. Many men also enjoy the sensation of something snug on the base! A little vibrating addition perfectly aligns with the receiver's clitoris or perineum to add an extra flair to your sexy time. The TROJAN Vibrations Tandem Couples Vibrating Ring also has a vibrating point for the wearer. Plus, they're easily available at many drugstores and grocery stores. 

Butt Plugs

Have you explored the pleasures of your anus? Butt plugs are intimidating to many at first, but wildly loved. Lovehoney Booty Bound Anal Training Silicone Butt Plug Set offers an easy introduction to anal play. Start with the smallest one, lube it up, insert it, and leave it there. It provides a full feeling that many really love. Plus, with added pressure in this region, it intensifies orgasms. Butt plugs are great for any gender to use! If you've never inserted something into your rectum before, it's good to start with a finger during masturbation. Always use lube!

According to doctor of human sexuality and sex coach Dr. Emily Morse, "Listen, if you’re curious about anal, start on yourself with light insertion. Butt plugs come in a variety of sizes, and what they do is gently stretch out your sphincter muscles to accommodate what you’re putting in there. And don’t worry; just like your legs aren’t permanently loosely goosey after you’ve done a stretch session, the same is true with sphincter muscles: they will look, feel, and function exactly the same, but be more pliable, thanks to our friend the butt plug."

Finger Vibrator

Incorporate an easy-to-use toy that enhances your experiences: a finger vibrator. Simply attach this little guy to your finger and induce pleasure wherever you touch it. Play with the different intensities and patterns of the Fifty Shades of Gray Sensation Rechargeable Finger Vibrator to see what you and your partner like. Explore the nipples, back of the neck, inner thighs, clitoris, vaginal opening, anus, perineum, scrotum, tip of the penis, and anything else you and your partner find enjoyable! A finger vibrator becomes part of you, making it seamless to incorporate into sex. 

Nipple Clamps

For anyone who likes their nipples stimulated or wants an introduction to BDSM, nipple clamps are a perfect addition to your sexual encounter. They're easy and safe to use and don't take too much attention away from your human possibilities. As you get aroused, have your partner carefully clip Bondage Boutique Adjustable Nipple Clamps onto you and adjust them to your liking. Leave them there through your session or take them off when you want to find relief. Many people find themselves reaching more intense orgasms faster when wearing nipple clamps. See if it works for you and your boo!

Beginner's Guide to Safety and Consent

Safety and consent are paramount when exploring the use of sex toys with a partner. Start by having an open and honest conversation about your desires and interests in using sex toys. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings as well. Approach the subject with positive feedback about your current sex life and your desire to explore new things with your boo. Avoid complaining about your current pleasure or making them feel insecure.

Always prioritize mutual consent. Both you and your partner must willingly agree to use sex toys in your sexual activities. Consent should be enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing. Remember that consent can change at any time. During your sexual activities, periodically check in with your partner to ensure they're comfortable and enjoying the experience. This can be as simple as "Do you like this?" Be attentive to their verbal and non-verbal cues.

Establish clear boundaries and limits with your partner. Discuss what activities are off-limits, what you're both comfortable with, and any concerns or fears you may have. Respect each other's boundaries without pressure or coercion. Consider using a safe word or signal during your sexual activities. This word or signal indicates when someone is uncomfortable or wants to stop the activity immediately. It's a way to ensure clear communication in the heat of the moment.

After using sex toys, and after any sexual encounter, engage in aftercare with your partner. This involves cuddling, soothing, and reassuring each other emotionally and physically. It creates a sense of emotional connection and well-being.

Welcome to the World of Toys

Now you know everything you need to know about exploring your body and playing with sex toys. Well, you know enough to get started. The real mastery comes when you personally use them — so go explore!

To build your arsenal of sex toys and learn everything about this fascinating world of pleasure, subscribe to Cupid's Light.

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