The Ultimate Guide to Non-Penetrative Sex

Non-penetrative sex is a form of sex that doesn’t involve penetration. Yes, you heard that right. There is sex that does not involve vaginal penetration. Sex can have different meanings for everybody and is much more than the traditional “penis in the vagina” way we look at sex. Traditional penetrative sex isn’t possible for many couples due to certain medical complications, past sexual trauma, or being in an LGBT relationship where neither partner has a penis. However, these people are still having sex, just maybe not the kind of sex you’re used to hearing. Non-penetrative sex is sex that focuses on pleasing your partner through using other avenues of sexual pleasure. There are so many more ways (and likely more effective ways) to orgasm that don’t involve penetration.

Why Would You Want to Try Non-Penetrative Sex?

Besides non-penetrative sex being highly erotic and satisfying, there are other reasons to try it. You or your partner may be recovering from an injury or infection that prevents penetration. Maybe you want to take it slow with a new partner or wait for marriage until you hit the home run. Non-penetrative sex could also be an exciting way to change your sex life. Sometimes our sex lives become stale, especially if you’re with a long-term partner. Maybe you’ve grown tired of your usual routine and want to increase the spark in the bedroom. Non-penetrative sex can be a way to spark that fire by finding new ways to stimulate one another sexually. You and your partner can make a truce to abstain from penetrative sex and only allow forms of non-penetrative sex in the bedroom. Abstaining from penetrative sex may increase your desire for it, especially when your partner is stimulating you in other ways.

9 Forms Of Non-Penetrative Sex

Use Your Hands

As humans, we use our hands for nearly everything. It’s a shame, however, that we don’t use them often enough during sex. Part of the fun of sex is skin-on-skin contact with your partner. Human touch releases oxytocin in our brains, the feel-good chemicals that make us bond more with our partner and give us the “warm and fuzzies.” Exploring your partner’s body with your hands (or vice versa) feels fantastic for both partners. Touch can be highly erotic when done the right way. During non-penetrative sex, focus on the erogenous zones like the vagina, penis, or nipples. But don’t leave out other sensitive areas like the lower belly, neck, and inner thighs. Touch is the most basic and sensual form of non-penetrative sex.

Erotic Massage

Bring the scented oil and lather up your partner for some muscle relaxing non-penetrative sex on the massage table. What’s hotter than you and your partner’s naked bodies glistening wet with oil while you’re free to explore each other’s bodies? An erotic massage doubles as both a way to soothe sore muscles and get in an orgasm at the same time. To make this form of non-penetrative sex as sexy as possible, set the mood. Bring out the candles and soft music, and let your partner disrobe as you prepare to have a massage. Let them start on your backside before flipping you over for the grand finale. Meanwhile, they can practice non-penetrative sex techniques on every inch of your body. An erotic massage tops the list of our favorite non-penetrative sex techniques.

Mutual Masturbation

You know your body better than anyone. The same goes for your partner and their body. Masturbating is fun, not to mention good for you. It’s one of the quickest ways to experience an orgasm since you know where all your sweet spots are. Couples can perform mutual masturbation on themselves as a form of non-penetrative sex. While it may at first sound awkward to masturbate in front of your partner, it can be incredibly erotic. You will find that watching your partner please themselves is a turn-on, especially when you’re next to them doing the same. Many men admit to wanting to watch their girlfriend masturbate as a form of non-penetrative sex in the bedroom. If you’re shy about masturbating in front of your partner, talk to them. You can always start slow by touching yourself elsewhere or have them touch themselves first. Once you’re both into it, you won’t feel as strange about it. Masturbating with your partner is one of the best techniques for orgasming during non-penetrative sex.

The Kunyaza Technique

Kunyaza is an ancient Central African non-penetrative sex technique that many heterosexual Central African women find essential for female orgasm. Kunyaza involves the male partner stimulating his female partner’s clitoris and vulva by tapping on it with his erect penis. He will start by tapping his penis directly on her clitoris, then changing the motion and speed. As the female partner becomes more aroused, he will use his penis to rub up and down and side to side along her vulva, always being sure to hit the clitoris. Kunyaza is said to be a non-penetrative sex technique that makes women squirt. If you and your partner are looking for a sexy way to enjoy non-penetrative sex, Kunyaza may be one of the sexiest. The male partner will enjoy Kunyaza just as much as his female counterpart. His penis will be touching a vagina; how couldn’t he love that? Secondly, he will likely feel some sensation from the skin-on-skin contact between his penis and his partner’s vulva.

Incorporate Sex Toys

Vibrators, massagers, vibrating panties, cock cages (these are real look them up), penis rings, “fleshlights,” and vibrating finger massagers are just a few of the numerous types of sex toys on the market. Sex toys make non-penetrative sex super easy and super satisfying. A Sex toy can take the pressure out of penetrative sex by focusing on naughty and sometimes kinky ways to get off instead. If you and your partner are practicing non-penetrative sex techniques because you want to build up sexual desire, something like vibrating panties would be an ideal way to do so. Many sex toys now allow another partner to control the intensity and speed through a remote or app. You can give your partner control of your vibrating panties while out and about on the town. When you least expect it, you’ll suddenly feel the beginnings of a big “O” happening down there. Watching you squirm with pleasure in public will both amuse and be a turn-on for your partner. While you can insert many sex toys, it doesn’t mean that you have to. Sex toys can provide plenty enough pleasure stimulating your outer erogenous zones, like your clitoris and nipples. Non-penetrative sex means no insertion involved. Luckily, you don’t need insertion to have an orgasm.

Make It Happen

Oral Sex

Oral sex is one of the most obvious and most popular forms of non-penetrative sex. Oral sex involves using one’s mouth and tongue to stimulate their partner’s genitals. Oral sex is usually performed pre-penetrative sex as foreplay before the main event instead of being the main event itself. But if oral sex feels so good, why not make it the main event? Oral sex is an intimate act that can produce toe-curling orgasms when done just right. Most women need oral sex or non-penetrative sex that stimulates their clitoris to orgasm. Next time you and your partner are in the bedroom about to get it on, focus on perfecting your oral sex skills. Suppose you’d like to try oral sex as a form of non-penetrative sex between you and your partner but are self-conscious of your skills. There is plenty of information, tips, and tricks online that will teach you how to perform the best oral sex of your partner’s life.

Dry Humping

Dry humping is not just for your pre-neutered furry pooch. Dry humping can also be a super-hot way to get down and dirty non-penetrative sex style with your romantic partner. It’s called dry humping because typically, partners keep their clothes on while doing it but keeping clothes on is entirely optional. Dry humping involves grinding and bumping your private parts against your partner’s private parts without penetration. For example, you could straddle your partner wearing just your undies and grind your private area against their naughty bits, just enough to stimulate you. As mentioned, dry humping can be performed with or without clothes on. If you want to make this non-penetrative sex even spicier, take the panties off for some skin-on-skin humping action.

Additionally, you can dry hump any body part you like. Instead of grinding on your partner’s privates, you could focus on yourself and grind against their leg. In doing so, you may be better able to stimulate your clitoris and achieve orgasm.

Explore Your Kinks

Practicing non-penetrative sex can be an excellent excuse to explore your and your partner’s kinks and fetishes. Many kinks and fetishes are sexual but don’t involve penetrative sex. For example, spanking, humiliation role play, bondage, or dominatrix role play are forms of non-penetrative sex acts that often lead to penetration but don’t have to. If you and your partner have ever been curious about these kinks, practicing non-penetrative sex may be the perfect opportunity. As with trying out any sex act, make sure both partners are comfortable with the idea before incorporating it into the bedroom.

Sensory Play

Playing with your senses (sensory play) can be a sexy way to practice non-penetrative sex. Incorporate sensory play into your sex life by using blindfolds, dripping hot wax over your naked bodies, eating and feeding one another sexy foods, or even trying out feathers and floggers. The sensory play aims to experiment with different sensations you might not usually feel during sex. For example, your partner may be using their hand to stimulate your clitoris when suddenly you feel hot wax on your belly. The surprise sensation can make other sensations (like your partner playing with your clitoris) more exciting. Adding a blindfold into the mix makes sensory play even more exciting because you won’t be able to see what’s coming. Each touch, taste, or feeling will be a total surprise.

Nipple Play

The nipples are a highly erogenous spot on women’s bodies. Women’s nipples are so sensitive that they can even initiate an orgasm when appropriately stimulated. Nipple stimulation can be a highly satisfying form of non-penetrative sex. Have your partner focus more on your nipples during your next bedroom session. They can incorporate nipple stimulation into other forms of non-penetrative sex, like using their hands to stimulate your clitoris. Have them alternate between soft, gentle touches to harder squeezes or pinching. They can even use their tongue, nipple clamps, or engage in sensory play using hot wax or ice cubes. But nipple play isn’t just for female satisfaction alone. Nipples are also sensitive erogenous zones on men that can produce sexual pleasure for them. So, ladies, don’t forget to show your boyfriend’s nipples a little love during non-penetrative sex.

Hot Makeout Session

We couldn’t write a guide on non-penetrative sex and not include making out. Kissing, canoodling, and feeling each other up is an incredibly hot and lust-worthy form of non-penetrative sex. Unfortunately, most people often rush or overlook makeout sessions when engaging in penetrative sex. That’s a shame because makeout sessions serve as incredible foreplay for getting in the mood. Romantic makeout sessions allow you and your partner to explore one another’s bodies. Take your time with this form of non-penetrative sex, don’t rush it. Use your mouth from the top of their head to their naughty bits, to the bottom of their toes.

Non-Physical Sex

If you and your partner want to take non-penetrative sex a step further, try using non-physical sex. Non-physical sex can be especially alluring if you and your partner are in a long-distance relationship. Non-physical sex can be any sexual act that doesn’t involve physical contact. Sending your partner dirty texts, phone or skype sex, or even sending your partner naughty porn GIFs are ways you can participate in non-physical sexual actions with your partner. You can use these acts when you and your partner are apart or for foreplay. Non-physical sex acts could even include wearing sexy lingerie around the house when your partner’s home or giving them a lap dance (no touching allowed, of course). Non-physical sex can be a great way to get you and your partner rearing to go when the time for physical sex occurs.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Non-Penetrative Sex

If you don’t have a general reason for not wanting penetrative sex (like an injury or infection that physically prevents it), your partner may be shocked to hear that you want to try having sex without it. They might think it means you aren’t sexually attracted to them and feel offended. Or they won’t understand why you would not want to do a sex act that is so enjoyable for them. Explain why you want to engage in non-penetrative sex as clearly as possible. Maybe you don’t want to stop having penetrative sex altogether. You want your partner to focus more on non-penetrative sex acts that come before it. Whatever your reasons, let your partner know this is something you would like to incorporate into your sex life. Relationships are about making compromises. Each partner should be willing to do things that make the other person happy, even in the bedroom.

In Conclusion

What you define as sex may differ from another person’s definition of sex. Penetration may be the standard for sex, but it’s by no means the only definition of sex. What you and your partner like to do between the bedsheets is nobody’s business. If sex acts are consensual, no one should judge you for what you like. Experimenting with sex positions and sex acts makes your romantic life more exciting. After all, sex isn’t just about receiving pleasure. For many people, sex is a bonding activity that brings couples closer together. Sex can also be a great way to let off steam and escape from the stresses of real life for a short time. There is no harm in finding new ways to enjoy yourself and feel pleasure.