Key Points
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The pandemic introduced new facets of life, such as asking about your date's COVID vaccine status.
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Prior to your date, don't be afraid to ask your match about their vaccination status.
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There are plenty of COVID-safe date spots for you and your match to get to know each other.
The pandemic fundamentally changed much of daily life, including work, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments — even dating. When pursuing relationships via dating apps, users now must think about things that previously never crossed their minds, such as their date's COVID vaccine status.
Asking about your date's COVID vaccine status is a difficult conversation to navigate. Since healthcare is now highly politicized, you never know how someone might react when you broach the subject. However, if protecting your health is a priority, it's important to have this conversation before scheduling an in-person date.
Whether you're immunocompromised, have a high-risk family member, or are just cautious about getting sick, never feel bad about prioritizing the health of yourself or your loved ones. Don't let your date's COVID vaccine status be the thing that compromises anyone's health and safety.
A Brief History of COVID Vaccines
When COVID vaccinations were made available to the public in late 2020, a large wave of people immediately took the plunge. Vaccination rates peaked in early April of 2021, with over 3 million shots being administered per day nationwide. While rates slowed down over the summer months, they spiked again in the fall of 2021, with schools and workplaces requiring vaccination to return to in-person gatherings.
However, two years and two booster shots later, most of the country has adopted a "back to normal" mindset. COVID is still around, proving that it leaves a lasting impact and causes many health issues doctors are still studying.
The bivalent booster became available in September 2022. As of February 2023, according to the CDC, "Based on interviews conducted during November–December 2022, only 27.1 percent of adults and 18.5 percent of adolescents who had completed a COVID-19 primary series received a bivalent booster, and coverage was lower among Black and Hispanic persons." This means that about one in four adults in the United States got the most recent COVID booster.
Everyone has different comfort levels post-pandemic. While some have returned to life as normal, others have not set foot in a restaurant since before March 2020. No matter your comfort level, you and your date must be on the same page.
Can You Ask About Someone's Vaccination Status?
It's entirely within your rights to ask someone about their vaccination status. An array of misinformation has led people to believe that asking if someone is vaccinated is a violation of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA).
HIPAA protects against certain healthcare entities sharing patients' private health information without their consent. Simply asking another person if they are vaccinated against COVID is not a HIPAA violation.
The Importance of Health Transparency in Dating
It's frustrating to navigate these sensitive situations. People never considered vaccination status when planning a first date with an online match before the pandemic. However, asking someone to disclose their vaccination status is not a completely foreign concept.
For the past several decades, individuals have been encouraged to share a certain level of health transparency with those they date, especially when sexually active. Safe sex means disclosing if you have any other partners, using protection, getting tested regularly, and being upfront about suffering from any sexually transmitted diseases. All of these are a part of the dating scene; vaccination status is just the most recent addition to the health transparency list.
You also don't need to disclose your reason for asking about vaccination status to your match. Don't feel pressured to disclose private health information about yourself or your loved ones to justify asking your match about their vaccination status.
How To Ask About Vaccination Status
Don't feel nervous about initiating this conversation with your match. Learning your date's vaccine status is just another fact that helps you get to know them better. It's as simple as asking them their favorite color!
Check out the following tips and tricks to help you initiate the vaccine conversation and ensure it goes smoothly.
Stay Casual
People have strong opinions on vaccines, especially the COVID vaccine. It's scary to initiate a conversation that you know could go south quickly. Keep it casual and don't overthink the situation.
Remember, you're not pointing fingers or accusing anyone of anything. Bring the subject up casually by mentioning when you received your latest booster. Treat the topic like any other you'd bring up to get to know your match. If they respond poorly, block them and move on to the other fish in the sea.
Set the Stage
Break the ice by offering up your vaccination status first. Once the conversation shifts to planning in-person dates, ease into the subject by volunteering your vaccination status. Again, keep it casual. In the same way you'd disclose if you had any dietary restrictions when choosing a restaurant, vaccination status is another way to ensure all parties stay safe and healthy.
Do Not Play the Hero
Don't feel the need to educate any of your matches on vaccines if their views differ from yours. If you feel empowered to do so, by all means, go for it. However, don't feel pressured to perform the emotional labor necessary to educate someone. If you have differing views, move on to the next match.
Set Firm Boundaries
Communicating your boundaries and morals is an essential part of forming a relationship and building trust. Don't put off asking important questions for fear of making things awkward or uncomfortable.
Though compromise is vital in an established relationship, that's not necessarily the case in the dating stage, especially when it comes to your health and the health of your loved ones. If vaccine status is a make-or-break thing for you in a relationship, clearly communicate that to your match. This is the time to set firm boundaries before moving forward with a potential relationship. Prioritize yourself and your morals.
Do Not Pry
When initiating this conversation, it's also important to remember that some individuals can't receive a COVID vaccination. While both the initial vaccine and booster shots are widely available for those of all ages, some circumstances still prevent someone from getting the shot. From allergies to pre-existing health conditions, someone could remain unvaccinated for many reasons.
Refrain from prying for private information that they don't volunteer upfront. You're not obligated to share details about your or your loved ones' health, so your match doesn't need to share any of their details with you. Respect their boundaries the way you want yours respected.
If someone shares that they're unvaccinated, politely implement your boundary and gently let them know that's a deal breaker for you.
Keep an Open Mind
Besides the health conditions that prevent someone from getting the vaccine, there are other reasons someone may have yet to be vaccinated. Perhaps they work a job with a demanding schedule without time off and haven't taken the time to get vaccinated. Perhaps they've hopped around from job to job, don't have health insurance, and are therefore abstaining from anything that's going to lead to a medical bill.
While the safest situation is for everyone to be vaccinated, that's not the reality. Navigating this reality takes nuance. Keep an open mind when chatting about this subject with a match and don't automatically jump down their throat if they say they're not vaccinated.
You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through
In the same vein as the abovementioned point, you never know someone's entire story. Since the pandemic started, many people have lost their jobs, income, and health insurance. Plus, millions have lost loved ones to COVID.
The pandemic sent many people into survival mode in more ways than one. Even three years later, the United States is still facing economic hardships, keeping many people in survival mode. Some have taken on additional jobs to keep food on the table.
None of these are excuses for not being vaccinated. However, they do serve as an explanation. For some, it's hard to think of long-term health consequences when their immediate worry is where their next meal comes from. You never know what someone is going through, so lead with compassion.
Turning the Tables
What should you do if you find yourself on the receiving end of this question? The tips listed above apply, but perhaps you're skeptical of your match for asking about vaccine status after the world has returned to "normal." If you find your match asking about your vaccine status, they have their reasons.
Below are some of the most common reasons people inquire about vaccine status.
Prioritizing Their Health
Society has normalized getting COVID, but this disease is no joke. COVID attacks the respiratory system and can cause lasting damage to your organs. Nobody likes being sick. There is nothing wrong with someone prioritizing their health and taking precautions against COVID.
When you're young and healthy, it's easy to feel invincible. Unfortunately, many people don't have that luxury. While you or your friends might have had mild cases of COVID that felt no worse than the common cold, COVID could cause life-long damage to someone with preexisting health conditions or even prove fatal.
Protecting Their Loved Ones
Your match could have a high-risk loved one susceptible to complications if infected with COVID. A lot of stress and anxiety comes with caring for an at-risk loved one, especially when navigating a world that has decided COVID is a thing of the past. They must be extra careful around those who are unvaccinated.
Past Complications
Perhaps your match has had COVID and is still suffering from complications. According to the CDC, new data from the Household Pulse Survey show that more than 40 percent of adults in the United States reported having COVID-19 in the past, and nearly one in five of those are currently still having symptoms of long COVID.
Long COVID is debilitating. Those with long COVID suffer from shortness of breath, brain fog, loss of smell or taste, and general fatigue. Even a mild case of COVID can result in long COVID. While those with prior chronic conditions are more likely to develop long COVID after initial infection, it could happen to anyone.
Loss of Loved Ones
You never know what someone has endured over the pandemic. With over a million deaths since the onset of COVID, your match likely knows someone who didn't survive it.
Whether they lost a parent, sibling, grandparent, or friend, that trauma sticks with people. It's easy to understand why someone who suffered a loss due to COVID would continue to take precautions.
General Anxiety
In the grand scheme of the world, COVID is still a new disease that doctors know very little about. Much of the information health professionals have is based on data that has only been gathered in the last few years.
Doctors still have no idea how COVID infections will impact people long-term. It's normal to feel anxious and overwhelmed by this. By confirming your vaccination status, your match may seek to exert a small level of control over an uncertain situation.
Apps Adapting to the Times
Luckily, some dating apps have rolled out initiatives that do the hard work for you. In 2021, apps like Hinge, Tinder, Match, and Bumble began offering special incentives to users who display their vaccination status with badges and free access to premium content. OkCupid even allows users to filter potential partners based on vaccination status.
The Biden administration has even partnered with dating apps to encourage displaying vaccine status.
Associated Press journalist Zeke Miller reports: "The White House says the apps will also direct users to learn how to get vaccinated, including connecting them with educational materials and information on how to find the nearest vaccination site. The administration pointed to research from OkCupid that found those who were already or were planning to get vaccinated received 14 percent more matches on the app."
It's tough enough to stand out in the crowd on dating apps. If you're vaccinated and have no problem displaying your vaccine status on your profile, it's more than worth it for extra matches.
If your match has not elected to use any of those features, or you're using a platform that does not have them, there are other ways to broach the topic. If you don't want to bring up the subject in conversation, be blunt and use one of the prompts on your profile to mention the importance of vaccination status to you. While this could generate some unwanted messages, it puts your priorities out in the open.
Distanced Dating
If all goes well, you and your match are both vaxed and ready to go on a date! However, things aren't always that easy. What if you're anxious about being in public spaces like bars or movie theaters? Don't worry, there are plenty of open-air date spots. You just need to get creative!
Review the following fun ideas to help keep you safe while you get to know your match.
Outdoor Dining
If the idea of restaurants still makes you anxious, try dining outdoors rather than inside. Outdoor dining depends on where you live and the weather conditions. There's nothing better than enjoying a meal outside on a gorgeous evening. Between patios at restaurants, food trucks, and street vendors, some of the best food is meant to be eaten outdoors.
Explore the Outdoors
Nature has so much to offer no matter where you live. Explore a local park or take a hike on a new trail. This activity lets you chat with your date while enjoying the fresh air and exploring a new place. If you're not the hiking type, pack a picnic and watch the sunset! Time spent in nature is time well spent; time spent in nature with a hot date is even better.
Double Date at the Dog Park
If you both have dogs, plan to meet up at a dog park. This way, your dogs get to scope each other out while you connect with your date. Sometimes a dog's instincts are better than a human's — if your pup loves your date (and your date's dog), you know you're on the right track!
See a Movie — Drive-In Style!
Who says you can't see a movie and stay COVID-safe? Drive-in movies became all the rage since the pandemic started and are a great option that gives you the safety of the open air.
Drive-ins are a fun twist on a classic movie date. Pack a picnic, pick up some takeout, or enjoy the food at the location. Deck out your car with as many pillows and blankets as possible, and cozy up for a fun flick!
Enjoy Some Window Shopping
Check out an outdoor mall or local boutiques. Mask up if you want to pop into one of the shops, but wandering past stores and pursuing their window displays can be just as fun as shopping (and less expensive)! Grab a coffee or an ice cream, stroll, and check out some local small businesses.
Visit a Vineyard or Brewery
Vineyards and breweries are great outdoor alternatives to bars. In addition to enjoying the outdoor scenery, it's an opportunity to sample locally-made alcohol and sometimes even learn how it's made. Vineyards and breweries also usually offer a much more eclectic menu than the typical bar food, giving you the chance to experiment.
Get Your Game On
If you're looking for an active date, playing sports is a fun way to spend time outdoors. All you need to play soccer, football, or kickball is a field and a ball.
If you or your match are particularly sporty, try activities that require more equipment or special playing conditions, like tennis, baseball, basketball, and golf.
Get Your Game On — In a Less Intense Way
Perhaps you and your match aren't the most sporty people. There are plenty of fun sports-adjacent outdoor activities. Try mini-golf, Topgolf, go-karts, and more, depending on where you live.
Check Out Your Local Farmer's Market
Farmer's markets offer a little bit of everything. Browse locally grown produce, freshly baked pastries, and various goods from small vendors. Farmer's markets are a fantastic way to get to know your match, connect with your local community, and spend time outdoors.
Shoot Your Shot (Pun Intended)
Asking if your date is vaccinated against COVID is just like any other make-or-break question. Before scheduling and planning an in-person date, you and your match must be on the same page about COVID vaccinations. Asking your date if they're vaccinated isn't just protecting you; it protects your loved ones.
The vaccine status question also serves as a test: How they answer the question says a lot about who they are as a person. If someone immediately jumps on the offensive after you've asked them a simple question, your personalities might not be compatible. Better to learn you're not a good match right off the bat than after a bad date.
The pandemic changed so much about the world, for better and for worse. Humans are good at adapting, even if it takes a while. Prioritizing your health by being upfront about COVID vaccines prior to a first date is one good thing that has come from the pandemic. Open, honest communication and transparency are the foundation of healthy relationships. Shoot your shot.
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