Dating a shy guy can differ from what you’re normally used to. It’s no secret men are afraid to talk to women for fear of rejection. A confident man even gets nervous when approaching a lady he likes But a shy guy takes being nervous to a whole other level. A Shy person tends to be more introverted. They keep to themselves and enjoy solitary interests or prefer things over people. It doesn’t mean they are socially inept or don’t enjoy company, and they’re just not comfortable making the first move. Dating a shy guy is not without its challenges in the beginning. But shy men can make great partners once you get to know them. The trick is making them comfortable enough with you to open up. Please read below for our top tips to make a shy guy comfortable while dating.
Top Tips To Make a Shy Guy Comfortable While Dating
1. Make the First Move
A shy guy isn’t the most confident when it comes to the dating scene. If you’re interested in an introvert, don’t expect him to make the first move. Dating and social activities are not a shy guy’s best subjects. He spends a lot of his time alone and thus, is not the best conversation starter. He may want nothing more than to ask you out on a date, but he’s terrified of what you’ll say. He may even be so terrified of dating you that he hardly acts interested. In his mind, it’s never going to happen. So, why get his hopes up? If you want to move forward with the shy guy and have any chance of having a relationship with him, make the first move. Though typically, men are expected to start the chase in a relationship, many men love when women make the first move. It takes the pressure of rejection off them. They respect when a woman is confident to take matters into her own hands and declare her interest. It’s less guesswork for them. In a shy guy’s case, it’s necessary. He will never have the courage to ask you out, so be prepared to make the first move.
2. Take the Lead In Planning Dates
The shy guy doesn’t have as much experience wooing women with lavish date ideas. He’s not had as much experience dating women to learn what they like. When dating a shy guy, you must take the lead when planning dates. Leaving it up to him will put him under a lot of pressure. He will be terrified of picking the wrong restaurant, choosing the wrong gift, or not wearing the appropriate clothing. He may also not have a great idea of what is hip or fashionable. Many introverted “nerd” type guys aren’t necessarily into what is trendy. They spend more time on their studies or their solo interests. They don’t know what the rest of the world is into (honestly, isn’t that refreshing?). What might be an exciting date idea to him could be a total drag for you. So, unless you want to spend your first date watching old Star Trek movies at an old movie theater (nothing wrong with that if you do!), you’ll need to tell him what you want. Drop hints about a cool new restaurant you’ve wanted to try or mention a part of your city you’d like to explore. Give him obvious clues as to what you want him to do. Communication is important in any relationship, especially when dating a shy guy. He likely has no problem doing whatever you want, and he needs help knowing what you want to do. There’s something pretty endearing in wanting to impress you so much, isn’t there?
3. Be Direct With Your Feelings
Most men have difficulties deciphering how a girl feels about him. A shy guy has even more trouble figuring you out. Remember that a shy guy doesn’t have much experience with feelings of the heart. He’s unsure what signs to look for that signal a girl is into him. You may be batting your eyelashes and laughing at every one of his jokes, but he likely has no clue this means you like him. He’s not confident with himself and his social abilities, so he will have difficulty believing you like him. If he doesn’t call as often as you’d like, it could be because he is afraid of bothering you. He doesn’t want to come off as aggressive or weird if you don’t like him. He’s more afraid of upsetting you than taking the chance that you do. If you are interested in a shy guy, tell him! Take him out of his misery! Don’t expect him to pick up on your body language; you need to be more direct. Tell him that you enjoy spending time with him and that you’d like to continue doing so. You must tell a shy guy you are interested; if you don’t, you will get nowhere with him.
4. Lead the Conversation
A shy guy is not the best in every social situation. He may be awkward in conversation because he’s not used to talking with a beautiful woman. Expect an awkward silence or two when you first get to know him. You will also likely need to be the conversation starter if you want to get him talking. A shy dude won’t be great at small talk, so take the lead. Find a common interest between the two of you that will be easy for him to talk about. Ask him questions about himself when you’re unsure where to steer the conversation. Asking questions is a great conversation tactic because it gets the ball rolling. People feel more confident in answering questions about themselves or their life because it’s a subject they know best. Shy people rarely start the conversation, but they become more comfortable when you keep it going. Don’t be afraid to lead the way and talk about various subjects. A shy guy may not be the best conversationalist, but he’s likely a good listener. He’ll love to hear what you have to say, especially if it means he can stay quiet.
5. Build Up His Confidence
Having a shy boyfriend means you will need to build up his confidence. The dating scene is not his forte, and he will be unsure of every step he takes. Help him build up his confidence along the way by reassuring him that he is doing an excellent job. Tell him how much you enjoyed the flowers he picked out for you or that you loved the meaningful conversation you had the other night. Compliment him on the shirt he wore to your last date or tell him all the things you love about him. While the compliments and attention might make him feel uncomfortable initially, he will slowly begin to realize his worth. Building up someone’s confidence is a beautiful thing to see. You will watch his personality change from the shy introvert to a beaming, loveable boyfriend. When you build up someone’s confidence, you watch them reach their full potential. They become the best version of themselves and will have you to thank for it. When you help a shy guy build up his confidence, he will fall in love with you even more. Building a man up is one sure-fire way to get him obsessed with you.
6. Be Patient
Getting a shy person to open up to you doesn’t happen overnight. It can be incredibly frustrating doing all the work and putting in overtime on your part trying to get a shy guy out of his shell. But introverted people take their time getting to know people. Your shy guy is not used to letting others in, and no matter how hard you try, he is going to go at his own pace. It can be hard waiting for him to open up. You might mistake his hesitancy as disinterest, but that’s likely not the case. Introverted men are not as comfortable laying their feelings out on the table. He may care for you greatly, but he’s unsure of how to express his feelings. He may also want to take his time for fear of you breaking his heart. Again, a shy guy doesn’t have much relationship experience, and he may do less for fear of being clingy. If you want to date a shy guy, you must understand it will take a while before he is ready to open up to you.
7. Initiate Intimacy
There is nothing that makes a shy guy more nervous than physical intimacy. Of course, he’s dreamed about it, but he’s never had the courage to do anything about it. Don’t be surprised if the shy guy you want to date has limited sexual experience. The idea of sex with a woman is a foreign concept to him. Although he wants nothing more than to be intimate with you, he will be unsure how to initiate it. His biggest fear will be putting a move on you that gets rejected. He would be mortified if that happened. It likely causes him so much anxiety that he will never work up the courage to make the first move. Making the first move will need to fall to you.
Let him know if you want to get intimate with a shy guy. Please wait until you get to know him a little better before pulling out your trade tricks. Making a move on the first date might freak him out. It could make the situation awkward for both of you and could jeopardize the relationship. Give him some time to warm up to you, then go for it. Your best bet would be to make non-aggressive, first-time moves. Cuddle up to him when you’re watching a movie by grabbing his hand or laying your head on his shoulder. Innocent gestures like this will be undeniable signals that you’re into him. He’ll feel more confident knowing you want to be near him. Then, when the time comes, flash him the googly eyes and lean in for the kiss. It might be an awkward first kiss, but it’s a start.
8. Give Him Space
Introverts are the opposite of extroverts. Introverts gather their energy from spending more time alone while extroverts gain energy from being around other people. If you’re an extrovert, it could be difficult to understand why your shy boyfriend needs his alone time. It’s nothing personal, but sometimes a shy guy wants to do things alone. He needs his space to recharge. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy your company; it just means he can’t be around people 24/7 without feeling drained. Not every single moment needs to be filled with doing something together. Give him space to step back and relax on his own with his hobbies. He will appreciate you more for it. If you force him to pay attention constantly, he will resent you. He will associate being around you with being exhaustive and may rethink your relationship. If you don’t want to push him away, let him have his alone time to take a breather. You could use that solo time, too!
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9. Don’t Pressure Him
A shy guy needs time to adjust to your lifestyle. Don’t pressure him to partake in social situations or events he’s not comfortable with. Remember that a shy individual feels a bit of anxiety in social settings. It is especially true in large social gatherings. Take your time introducing him to your friends and family. Introverts are better one-on-one, so don’t invite him to a huge family gathering (lest you want him sweating through his shirt and blurting out something inappropriate over granny’s peach cobbler). It will place too much pressure on him, knowing he is about to meet every important person in your life. It will make him uncomfortable knowing he is expected to make a good impression around everyone you care about. The same goes for taking him to parties with your friends. A shy guy is not into the party scene. He prefers a quiet night at home to a loud, crowded environment. Forcing him to party with you isn’t his idea of fun. It will make him wish he was anywhere but there. If you want to introduce him to your friends, invite them for a quiet dinner. Or meet up with your friends for a coffee date, somewhere you all can have a quiet conversation so he can get to know your friends properly. Pressuring him to fit into your lifestyle will only backfire. He’ll be more likely to retreat into himself or avoid being around you.
The Benefits of Dating A Shy guy
He Doesn’t Have an Ego
Dating a shy guy can be difficult at times, but it also comes with some welcome benefits:
For one, a shy guy is not as likely to have an exhausting ego. You won’t ever catch yourself eye-rolling at his self-serving monologues. A shy guy will never feel like he needs to compete with you. He’ll be happy to let you take the spotlight, and he’ll love watching you shine. For him, letting you be the center of attention makes him happy. It keeps the attention off of him and lets him enjoy a social scene without feeling pressured.
He Doesn’t Use Social Media
You won’t have any issues with a shy guy misbehaving on social media. A shy guy is not your typical guy. He’s not into trends and most certainly isn’t into social media. He most likely doesn’t have a social media account, and if he does, he uses it seldomly. A shy guy won’t be on Instagram flirting with other girls because that’s not his style. He doesn’t crave validation like most guys his age. Shit, a shy guy sounds pretty damn good, huh?
He Doesn’t Party
If you’ve been with a man who likes to party, you know the headache that can be. You won’t have to worry about your shy boyfriend misbehaving while with his friends. The party lifestyle is not his idea of fun. He won’t be out late drinking at bars around temptation. And if he does go out, you won’t need to worry about him ignoring your texts or calls. Being a player is not in a shy guy’s interest. He doesn’t base his worth on how many girls he can pick up in a night. A shy guy is more likely to be faithful than any other type.
He’s a Great Listener
Introverted personalities are more introspective and observant. They prefer to listen and watch rather than be the center of attention. Because of this, they make great listeners. You can expect your shy boyfriend to be an excellent person to talk to when dealing with important matters. He is more interested in listening to your problems than putting in his two cents. He will take the time to listen to what you have to say and respond accordingly. A shy guy will never waste your time with meaningless conversation.
The Takeaway
Are you dating a shy guy or interested in dating one? Shy guys can make great partners if you understand their personality. They take time to open up, but you can help them by being supportive. Be patient and take your time with your shy guy. A rewarding relationship is just around the corner.
