Whether you’ve been single for a long time or just got out of a long-term relationship, dating can be challenging. Between online dating websites, endless scrolling on dating apps, friendly blind dates, and so much more, it can be hard to know where to begin, let alone remember how to start a conversation with a guy.
Do you make the first move? Should you play it cool and let them start talking? What do you say? The good news is, while the technology may have changed, the basic mechanics have stayed the same. If you want to start talking to a guy, you don’t have to play it cool. Strike up a conversation using the below 15 tips. You’ll want to tailor how to start a conversation with a guy depending on the medium you’re using.
Approaching a man in public may be more intimidating than texting or messaging one on a dating app. Still, you’ll be able to see his facial expressions, observe his body language, make eye contact, and listen to his tone. These cues will help you know if he’s into it or if you should call it quits. When thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy, you’ll also want to keep some core etiquette in mind. You don’t want to turn him off accidentally by making one of those faux-pas!
If you’re ready to get back to the basics and learn how to start a conversation with a guy, let’s jump in below.
How to Start a Conversation with a Guy
When thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy, do it as you would with anyone else – a close friend, colleague, family member, or stranger. Find a topic you’d like to discuss, mention it to a man, and start talking. You may be nervous, but try not to chatter. Listening is just as critical as chiming in yourself.
If you’re approaching a new man out of the blue, begin with your line, wait for his response, and introduce yourself. From there, you should keep the conversation going by asking open-ended questions, listening, and showing interest in what he has to say. Hopefully, the discussion will end with an exchange of numbers and a promise to meet up later.
If you’re trying to think about how to start a conversation with a guy you already know, customize the chat a little more. Discuss shared interests or a mutual friend. You’re not starting from ground zero, so use what you already know about him to chat him up. If you don’t already have his number, ask for it before the conversation ends. You don’t want to wait until the next time you organically run into each other to talk again, though, if you forget, you can always ask that mutual friend for their number.
Learning how to start a conversation with a guy will help you feel more confident in your skin, ready to take on all challenges. However, you’ll want to prepare yourself for rejection mentally. The guy you’re looking to talk to may have a girlfriend, may not be in the right place to talk to a new girl, or may not be interested. All these reasons are okay. Please don’t push yourself where you’re not wanted, and don’t wait around for him to change his mind. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Now you know how to start a conversation with a guy!
Tips on How to Start a Conversation with a Guy
A great conversation will flow once you get a guy talking, but how exactly do you start that conversation? Approaching a man can be simultaneously fun and anxiety-inducing, depending on the platform you’re using. There’s little risk if you’re using a dating app, but it can be disheartening if you’re left on read or shot down in person.
Don’t pressure yourself when learning how to start a conversation with a guy. Have fun with it and use each one as an opportunity to practice your skills and build your confidence. You’ll be a pro in no time!
In-Person
How to start a conversation with a guy is different in person. You can draw on your surroundings, what he’s wearing, current events, and many other things to get the conversation going. It will help break the ice and give you a common place to start talking, especially if you’re becoming acquainted.
Ask About Current Events
Look at your environment and strike up a conversation. Is there something going on in the bar that you can bond over? Is there a game on the TV? Are you a pro at trivia? Even something as mundane as talking about the weather can help you start talking with a guy. Keep it light and straightforward, but draw inspiration from your surroundings to kick off the conversation. It’ll give you a common ground that you can build upon as the conversation goes on.
There’s a time and a place to discuss more sensitive, hot-button issues like politics and religion. For example, if you’re at a political event, it’s safe to say that your crush may be open to discussing their political beliefs. If not, and they’re not wearing something that clearly says “talk to me about my politics,” it’s best to steer clear. There will be plenty of time to discuss these topics after breaking the ice.
Ask About Common Interests
Learn how to start a conversation with a guy by bonding over shared interests. It works best if you know the man already or if he’s wearing or using something that you can casually bring up. Is he wearing a shirt with his favorite TV show? Maybe he’s carrying a book you recently finished. Keep an eye out for anything about him that can give you that opening to chat with him.
Please pay attention to his body language. It may not be the best time to interrupt him if he’s reading. If this is the case, smile and keep moving. Don’t force yourself on him even if you have a lot to say about your mutual interests. There’s always next time!
Ask For a Recommendation
Guys love when you ask for their opinion. If you’re wondering how to start a conversation with a guy, that’s an easy place to start. Ask for recommendations for drinks, food, music, books, movies, TV shows, and everything in between, and listen to what he says. Follow up with questions to understand why he’d recommend that item to you.
Even if you already have an opinion or know what you want to order, see what he says. You’ll be able to keep the banter going, even with a friendly disagreement, when you give him the space to share his thoughts. The key here isn’t to fawn over him and pretend you’re stupid. Instead, show genuine interest. Even if the conversation doesn’t go anywhere, you may find your next favorite thing!
Compliment Him
Men like hearing nice things about themselves just as women do, so if you’re wondering how to start a conversation with a guy, begin by telling him you like his shirt. Tell him his hair looks nice or has a great sense of humor. Regardless of how you choose to compliment him, make sure that it’s authentic. Guys know when you’re stroking their ego.
Share compliments liberally when learning how to start a conversation with a guy. Think about what you’d like to hear. The chances are that a man would also like to hear them, so give it a shot. Make sure that you customize it for him. You don’t want to give meaningless blanket compliments.
Bring Up Something About Him
Does he have cool tattoos? How about beautiful eyes? Bringing up something about him is a great way to chat with a guy you want. Please don’t spend a lot of time staring at him and trying to pick the perfect feature to compliment. If he notices, you’ll come off creepy, which is the opposite of what you want to do.
Instead, take a quick scan when considering how to start a conversation with a guy. If something jumps out at you, bring it up to him. If not, think of another way to begin chatting with him. Don’t force a conversation based on his appearance. If there’s nothing to say, there are plenty of other ways you can approach him. Even a simple “hi” would be better.
Ask a Question
If you’re at a loss for words, don’t rule out asking him a question. For the best results, make sure they’re open-ended questions. That way, you’ll be able to glean more information from him and keep the conversation going. Instead of asking, “Do you come here often?” ask, “What do you think about this bar?” Your intent is still the same, but you’re giving him more space to answer the second question.
You don’t want to ask him a question only to get a yes or a no answer. It’s almost impossible to keep the conversation going if there’s a hard stop. Improve your chances with open-ended questions when thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy.
Make A Joke
A cheesy opening line can be a fun way to break the ice, so don’t be afraid to crack a joke when you’re considering how to start a conversation with a guy. Don’t take yourself too seriously and have fun with it. Remember that sarcasm doesn’t always translate well to strangers, so you’ll want to keep that at a minimum at first lest you come across the wrong way.
Also, avoid making fun of them or any self-deprecating humor. You want to break the ice when considering how to start a conversation with a guy, not make him uncomfortable or accidentally insult him. It’s a thin line, so make sure to practice.
Ask About His Dog
If you’re out and see a cute guy walking his dog, ask him about the pup! Dogs are a great conversation starter, as most people like gushing about their furry friend. He’ll share how old the dog is, the breed, if the dog’s good, and so on. He may even talk your ear off about his dog if he’s not in a hurry.
When considering how to start a conversation with a guy, you can also ask if you can pet his dog. Again, this will open a window for him to start talking. Not all dogs are comfortable around strangers, so don’t be offended if the answer is no. Please step back and give the dog some space while you continue chatting with his owner.
Ask for Help
Men love helping women, so if you’re at a loss for how to start a conversation with a guy, you can begin there. If you’re out shopping, ask for help getting something off the top shelf. If you’re lost, ask for directions. Even if you don’t need help, you can lean on this tactic as an easy way to chat with a guy. There’s a reason that the chivalrous knight saving the damsel in distress is such a popular trope!
It’s not about being helpless. Instead, you’re playing to a man’s instinct to protect, provide and support women. You’ll make them feel valued when you ask for help, and it’s a no-brainer when considering how to start a conversation with a guy.
Accidentally Bump into Him
Oh, oops! If you’re not feeling comfortable making the first move, you can always accidentally bump into him. Then, you can apologize and offer to buy him a drink. It is a great way to start chatting if you’re too nervous.
Don’t bump into him too hard. Instead, wait for the right moment. You don’t want to make him spill all over himself or choke on his drink in your clumsy effort to flirt. This tip is a little childish, but if you’re learning how to start a conversation with a guy, it’s one way to do it until you feel more comfortable and confident.
Just Go For It
It can be challenging, but do it! Get yourself mentally and physically psyched up, and start talking! It’ll be challenging at first, but you’ll be better once you overcome your fears. It’ll get easier each time you speak to a new guy. A good conversation will flow; there won’t be an awkward silence.
If you don’t feel like being clever, say hi. If you want to start talking with a guy, you can’t wait for him to make the first move, or you may miss your chance. Learning how to start a conversation with a guy can be intimidating, but you can do it. Stop overthinking, walk over there and get it done!
Over Text
Texting is one of the best modern conveniences, but it can also be a curse. Unlike in person, you can’t see or hear how a person speaks, so you rely on context clues to understand what they’re trying to say. Still, it’s a great way to communicate, and here’s how to start a conversation with a guy over text.
Use His Name
When you consider how to start a conversation with a guy, especially over text, use his name. Using a dating app becomes even more critical because he’s likely swiping through the nameless faces just like you are! Using his name will make him stop and notice you back.
Texting can feel impersonal, so don’t forget to use his name during the conversation. Please don’t force it; otherwise, it’ll make the conversation feel impersonal and formal. If you’re laughing, you can say, “OMG, David, I can’t!” It feels organic in that context. Feel it out, but using his name will ensure he knows the texts are only for him.
Send Memes
Memes are great ways to share your sense of humor safely, so when you’re thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy, send a meme! There’s some risk that he won’t understand the reference, so be prepared to explain what it means.
Also, some dating apps don’t allow photos, so you’ll have to save the memes for texting. GIFs are also a great solution because they let pop culture talk for you. The conversation will flow even better after the memes if you have similar interests.
Use Emojis
Emojis can say a lot without saying a lot, so if you’re thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy, they’re a great option. If you’re feeling flirty, send a winky face. If you’re interested in sexting, you can share an eggplant.
Emojis are a language, so use them with care. The guy you’re texting may not understand what you mean, so be precise with your words and let your emojis support them and not the other way around. You don’t want to introduce confusion when learning how to start a conversation with a guy.
Check Your Spelling
It may not be the biggest turn-off for someone, but before you quickly shoot off a text conversation, stop and read it over. Fix any typos or missing punctuation. Your phone will underline misspelled words in red, so there’s no excuse to have egregious typos in your text messages.
Even if you’re in a heated discussion, take a moment to pause. It’ll help you fix mistakes and stop you from saying things you regret.
Best Practices for How to Start a Conversation with a Guy
Not every conversation will be unique, and you’ll have to prepare yourself for the chance of rejection. It happens to everyone, but if you follow these best practices, you’ll bounce back in no time, ready to chat with the next guy. He could be the one, but you’ll never know if you don’t know how to start a conversation with a guy.
Be Confident
Confidence is sexy. It can help you feel strong, empowered, and ready to take risks. Even if you’re not feeling it, fake it until you are. The more you flex the muscle of how to start a conversation with a guy, the stronger it’ll become and the more confident you’ll feel. It’s all tied together. Know your self-worth, what you bring to the table, and own it.
Be Brief
Brevity applies mainly to texting, but it can also help you in real life. Don’t send long blocks of texts or nervously chatter. Leave him wanting more when you’re considering how to start a conversation with a guy. Too much too soon can send him running for the hills.
Be Playful and Flirty
Keep it light and fun when you’re learning how to start a conversation with a guy. Don’t talk about politics, religion, or other severe topics unless you want to gear up for a potential fight. There’s plenty of time for that later after you’ve decided if you’re going to keep talking to the new guy.
Be Casual
Play it cool when thinking about a conversation starter and small talk. That doesn’t mean you should play games. Instead, don’t be too clingy too soon. If you are, you could scare the guy away. Try your hardest to keep it casual. Don’t start deep conversations immediately. No one wants to hear about your childhood trauma after only saying hello.
Be Unapologetically You
When learning how to start a conversation with a guy, it’s critical to be you. Don’t pretend to be someone else you think the guy wants. That never ends well because it’s impossible to sustain. When chatting with a guy, you want him to like you, not your idea of who you are or want to be. Save the trouble and let your true, authentic self shine! That’s the only way to find a meaningful relationship.
