How To Tell if the Guy You Like Is an Alpha Male

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You’ve met a guy and seem to find him incredibly attractive. Being a brilliant and curious woman, you begin to wonder what type of man you’d be getting involved with if you date this guy. You think, perhaps, he is an Alpha Male, and you wonder if that is the correct type of guy for you.

You’ve heard so many complaints about Alpha Males. Lately, you’re starting to worry that you might wind up in a toxic relationship if this guy turns out to be one. But you realize you don’t know the Alpha Male traits. What is an Alpha Male, even?

Studying the Alpha Male definition can give you insight into what you might be getting yourself into if you enter a relationship with a guy that fits the bill. Here’s how to tell if the guy you like is an Alpha Male:

What is an Alpha Male?

What is an Alpha Male? The official Alpha Male definition is a “dominant male,” according to While the APA Dictionary of Psychology states, the Alpha Male is “the top-ranked or dominant male within a group, with primary access to resources, including food and mates. In many species, the alpha male prevents other males from mating or from mating during the peak time of female fertility.”

However, more recent times have garnered a new hierarchy that provides more nuance to the Alpha Male definition related to humans. This hierarchy is more detailed than the previous delineation of Alpha and Beta Males only, with a multi-level tiered ranking of men based on personality or archetype used widely today known as The Socio Sexual Hierarchy.

What is an Alpha Male, and how does the Alpha Male fit in The Socio Sexual Hierarchy? The hierarchy is a pyramid with Alpha at the top. Then Beta, Delta, Gamma, and Omega finish out the pyramid, which signifies that Alphas lead the pack and are the rarest while Omegas are the lowest and the most common. Off to the side is the “lone wolf” known as a Sigma Male. Sigma Males are considered equivalent to Alpha Males but outside the hierarchy by their own choice.

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What Are Alpha Male Traits That Fit The Alpha Male Definition?

The answer to what is an Alpha Male is more nuanced than the textbook definition of being dominant or even the highly generalized, and somewhat toxic, usage by some people to mean an aggressive male, often to the point of being abusive. Instead, the modern take on what is an Alpha Male is an expectation of being confident, charismatic, assertive, intelligent, aware of their limitations but always striving to overcome them, and to have no need to receive validation of these characteristics from anyone else. A true Alpha Male doesn’t need to be told he fits the alpha male definition. He fits the alpha male definition by his existence.

Alpha Male Definition – Confidence

When trying to determine what is an Alpha Male, confidence is one of the key Alpha Male Traits that are visual and subtle. Having confidence means you feel self-assured in your skills and characteristics. This isn’t to be confused with being cocky or arrogant. Conceit is very off-putting, while confidence coming from a man will inspire the people around him to have confidence in him as well. Arrogance will cause doubt and distrust, and being cocky pisses people off. The balance between confidence and cockiness is turbulent, however, being able to back it up in a sophisticated way is what being top of the hierarchy is all about. 

Alpha Male Definition – Charisma

Charisma is when your charm and attractiveness are so irresistible that the people around you are inspired by it. They’ll admire you for it and be naturally drawn to your presence. This trait, taken too far, can be perceived as coarse, though, so it has to be done just right to be positively perceived by those around you. You’ve found the right balance between being attractive and confident by being charismatic. What is an Alpha Male? Being charismatic is a vital part of the Alpha Male definition. Make the ladies (or men) come to you, wanting more. 

Alpha Male Definition – Assertiveness

When asking what is an Alpha Male, you’ll find being assertive at the top of the list in the Alpha Male definition. Being assertive is a result of the coupling of confidence and charisma. When you can marry these two traits successfully, you avoid being seen as aggressive or domineering instead. Being assertive allows you to forcefully encourage people to do things or see things the way you see them without insulting or demeaning them. Assertiveness is one of the more challenging parts of the Alpha Male definition to get right. It’s not easy to tow that line with being aggressive, and those that can do it have a good chance of being successful in most endeavors. There’s a time and place for aggression, but assertiveness is an appropriate trait for any situation. 

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Alpha Male Definition – Intelligence

What is an Alpha Male? They’re many things, but one has to be intelligent. Many people mistakenly think that having intelligence means you know a lot of things. That’s not the case. At all. Intelligence means you possess the skills and capacity to learn new things and use that knowledge to your advantage or to reach a goal. Within the parts of Alpha Male definition, intelligence is the one that is the most modern. People now expect their leaders to be intelligent, as it’s hard to admire and take direction or example from someone you perceive as less intelligent than you. 

Alpha Male Definition – Awareness of Limitations

What is an Alpha Male, and what does awareness of limitations have to do with fitting into that Alpha Male definition? Limitations often have a negative connotation to people. However, a good way of looking at limitations is simply opportunities to change and grow. Perhaps you don’t know how to cook. If you’re moderately intelligent and have the physical ability, you can teach yourself to cook. So you had a limitation, turned it into an opportunity, and now possess a new, valuable skill. Think of the possibilities!

When you combine awareness of your limitations with confidence and intelligence, you unlock unlimited potential to become the best possible version of yourself. You’ll rarely find yourself stuck and unable to learn or progress, which is one of the parts of the Alpha Male definition that are less discussed but should be given a lot more attention. Ambition, boys. Ambition. 

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Alpha Male Definition – Validation Not Needed

Validation recognizes a person as either worthy or inherently valid (not needing further input beyond existing). If you’re a person that doesn’t need external validation to feel self-worth, you’ll feel empowered to make decisions that impact not just yourself but also those around you. You won’t be afraid to rock the boat or challenge a status quo because being perceived as a failure doesn’t phase you. You see failure as a natural progression toward your end goal, not the end of the journey to it. You epitomize the “learn from your mistakes and do better next time” mantra.

So, if you’re wondering what an Alpha Male is, and have decided to study the Alpha Male definition, it’s essential to realize that the alpha male traits are not stand-alone. Each of the Alpha Male traits ties into all the others, much like a spiderweb. All Alpha Male traits are required in the “what is an Alpha Male” question, and they all need to work together to form a likable and influential person.

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Masculine Energy and The Alpha Male Definition

What is an Alpha Male, and does masculine energy influence whether or not someone has Alpha Male traits? To start, masculine energy is a spiritual construct meant to help us categorize, organize, and understand attributes within people. Masculine energy is one-half of a total that also includes feminine energy. It’s essential to know that these are not indications of male or female, strong and weak, etc. The use of masculine and feminine energy is a false dichotomy because, much like good and evil, no one person is all of one thing and none of the other. We’re all some blend of the two in varying degrees, which makes us all unique and exciting to others.

Briefly, feminine energy includes those attributes of passivity, nurturing, kindness, empathy, compassion, etc. Masculine energy, though, focuses on characteristics of assertiveness, structure, logic, and calling the shots. An example will be that you’re a woman who had vented to one of the men in your life and became frustrated when he skipped over how the situation made you feel and went right to giving you a list of things to do to fix or change the situation. You came into that conversation looking for feminine energy of compassion and empathy, but you received masculine energy in the form of assertiveness and calling the shots. 

Masculine energy includes confidence and assertiveness; critical attributes to the Alpha Male definition. It also means having the desire to take risks and discipline, supporting the Alpha Male traits of not needing validation and knowing your limitations while constantly challenging them. So when trying to determine what an Alpha Male is, it seems masculine energy plays a huge part in the Alpha Male definition.

Body Language and The Alpha Male Definition

What is an Alpha Male? A man who embodies the physical demeanor of the Alpha Male Definition through body language. Despite one of the Alpha Male traits being no need for validation from external sources, being the top dog means others need to be aware of your other Alpha Male traits and recognize that they exist. It doesn’t mean they need to be consciously aware, but to use your attributes to influence people, they must acknowledge your traits exist. Since you can’t possibly talk to every person you need to control throughout life, you’ll need to prove your Alpha Male traits through your presence. Your body language. All those things that make women’s mouths drop and men instantly feel instantly intimidated. 

What is an Alpha Male? Generally, they’re perceived as being physically attractive. This isn’t a trait or attribute, per se, but it helps with the confidence and charisma of Alpha Male traits. And women generally find the more masculine Alpha Male traits to be the most attractive, so holding and moving your body in such a way as to show your Alpha Male traits will make people want to look at you. Therefore, they will notice your attractiveness.

So, what sorts of body language embodies the Alpha Male definition to those around them without needing words to show them? Let’s start at the top of the body for this:

Your head and face are one of the first things another person notices about you. A person embodying all of what is an Alpha Male will show Alpha Male traits of confidence and charisma. They’ll keep their head up while sitting, standing, or walking. They’ll make eye contact and not shy away from meeting the gaze of someone but won’t stare unless they feel there is a need to intimidate someone they perceive as overstepping or attempting to challenge them. Remember, the Alpha Male definition doesn’t contain traits like aggression, so managing eye contact to keep people engaged but not make them uncomfortable and holding your head in an upright and forward-looking position lets people know you’re confident but not aggressive.

The concept of keeping an “open chest” doesn’t only enhance the visualization of your physical attributes; it’s perceived as confidence as you are not diminishing yourself physically by slouching, nor are you crossing your arms in a protective measure which can be perceived as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. The Alpha Male definition requires you never make yourself less than you are, so keeping an open chest lets people know you’re strong and confident at all times.

The hands of an Alpha Male embody the traits of charisma and confidence within the Alpha Male definition. Shake hands with people when the situation warrants. Make the grip firm and full contact without squeezing the life out of the other person. Gesture in a controlled manner as you speak, especially when presenting in front of others. Alpha males don’t flail. 

Then finally, the legs and feet give more opportunities to use body language to exemplify what is an Alpha Male again. When you walk, walk with assurance and at a moderate pace. Walk alongside people, not behind them. If you’re standing still, standing with your legs slightly apart is always perceived as more confident than with feet together as you show you aren’t afraid to take up space in the physical world, but you don’t take up other people’s room without their permission.

Now that you know a bit more about what an Alpha Male is, you can try to determine if the guy you like is an Alpha Male or not. Let’s say you believe he’s an Alpha Male. You’ll need to decide if you still find him attractive now that you know more. Let’s assume you do find the Alpha Male traits attractive. What next? How do you know if he’ll be attracted to you or not?

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What Type of Woman Is an Alpha Male Attracted To?

An Alpha Male is most likely attracted to a female who embodies many of the same traits as himself but is more feminine. Because he’s intelligent, he’ll respond best to a woman who’s also highly intelligent. This will allow for great conversation, compatible decision-making ability, and confidence-building.

Alpha Males like women who are passionate, and not just in bed! She needs to know her wants and needs and be passionately devoted to obtaining them. She’ll have her own goals and independently work to achieve them.

Confidence is another crucial trait for a man who fits the Alpha Male definition when choosing a partner. She should trust in her abilities and seek out challenges and learning experiences, as he does. Her confidence will compliment his and make both very comfortable being themselves with each other.

An Alpha Male will look for a woman who embodies more feminine energy, complementing his higher percentage of masculine energy. Empathy and compassion will be key ways to complement his more masculine assertiveness, as well as being kind and loving.

Men fitting the Alpha Male definition depend on loyalty from others to maintain their position at the top of the hierarchy, so a woman will need to be loyal to him the same as he will be loyal to her. He would perceive disloyalty as a failure, therefore it isn’t something he’d do on purpose.

How Do You Know If an Alpha Male Likes You?

Men who fit into the Alpha Male definition are confident in their physical abilities, so many can show attraction or affection through physical touch. A hand on the lower back while walking beside you, opening doors for you, wrapping his arm or even both arms around you while you watch something are his ways of letting you know he’s there for you. He probably likes you if he uses physical touch or activity toward you to show his interest.

Alpha Males will always protect the people around them as natural leaders, especially those they care for. If an Alpha Male likes you, he’ll always see you home safely after spending time together. He’ll probably check in via text or phone call if he hasn’t seen you for a while, and he’ll always ask how you are doing when he does. He’ll show genuine interest in your well-being. If that isn’t swoon-worthy, then what is?

He’ll get upset if people hurt or disrespect you. Since he has such a strong desire to protect you, he’ll react with anger when someone slights you, even in seemingly trivial ways. If you’re with an Alpha Male, you’ve got yourself a guard dog unafraid to bite back for your honor or physical protection. 

How To Tell if the Guy You Like Is an Alpha Male?

Suppose you find yourself attracted to someone who embodies the above traits, is loyal to you, and is protective of you while being confident in your abilities to do for yourself. In that case, you’re most likely attracted to an Alpha Male. Suppose you’re a compatible type, meaning you’re attracted to his traits and you embody many of the qualities he finds attractive. In that case, you could have a significant and potentially long-term relationship. Alpha Male traits aren’t for everyone, but if they are your type, you could find some lasting happiness by arming yourself with that knowledge before embarking on new relationships. It could lead to a relationship full of passion, fun, and excitement. Because being with an Alpha Male is never dull!

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