What’s the first phrase that comes to mind when you hear, “if a man really loves you, he will?” Chances are, it’s something crazy romantic and over the top. Maybe you’re picturing someone standing outside your window with a boombox professing their undying love through song or meeting you at the top of the Empire State Building. If a man really loves you, he will top it off with a swoon-worthy kiss right before it fades to black.
Unfortunately, the epic stories lied to us. Love isn’t about grand gestures — and if you’re waiting for them, you’ll be disappointed. Men didn’t grow up watching romantic comedies, so many don’t even know you have high expectations for what love is. In reality, if a man really loves you, he will show it subtly, taking care to provide for you in ways you may not even realize.
Here are 25 signs to look out for to help you tell if he really loves you or if you’re wasting your time. Real love may not be like it is in the movies, but that doesn’t mean you should settle.
If a Man Really Loves You, He Will Do What?
We’ve all heard those sayings that if a man really loves you, he will do [insert grand gesture here]. He’ll walk through fire for you. He’ll buy you a thousand yellow daisies. Or he’ll sweep you off your feet with an expensive date, wining and dining you with lavish presents. These are all great, but they’re not realistic. Not every man is a billionaire trying to find Ms. Right to heal all his wounds. Most men are blue-collar workers doing their best to make their partners happy and feel valued.
What about the little things he does that show you how much he cares? If a man really loves you, he will make time for you. You will be his number one priority, and you’ll always know where you stand. He’ll send you things to make you smile or show up with small gifts to brighten your day. Maybe he’ll send you texts every morning or always call you to wish you good night. If a man really loves you, he will do whatever it takes to show you in ways that are meaningful to you.
If a man really loves you, he will not play games or string you along. A toxic relationship is not a loving relationship. They’re steeped in negativity. Co-dependent relationships thrive on drama and do nothing but hold you back. A toxic relationship isn’t healthy, and with the right support system in place, you can leave the harmful situation. Love isn’t about manipulation, so he’s either ready to commit to you or he isn’t. If a man really loves you, he will make you feel good about yourself, not less.
A million little moments in a relationship can demonstrate how much he loves you, if you truly take the time to notice. Often at wedding ceremonies, 1 Corinthians 13; 4-7 is recited in a reading. These Bible verses include, “Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast. It is not proud… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
The message of the passage is clear, it states what love is and what it is not. If a man truly loves you, he will show you. You can find this kind of love, or maybe you already have it, and haven’t realized it yet. Regardless, you deserve to be loved for you, so find a man who’s not afraid to show it.
25 Signs He Loves You
A guy will not hold a sign telling you he loves you. Instead, he will demonstrate how much he does in little ways throughout the day. Learn his love language because if a man really loves you, he will not hesitate to show you how much in his way.
Here are 25 signs he loves you. Keep in mind, and this is important, men that truly love you, don’t play games. If a man really loves you, he will not keep you guessing about where you stand in his life. You’ll know, even if he hasn’t said those three little words.
1. He Doesn’t Play Games
If a man really loves you, he will be direct with his intentions. He’s not playing games with you. Instead, he knows what he wants and is not afraid to go for it. He’ll let you know if he’s serious about you. He may not use his words all the time, but his actions will speak for themselves. If you need to question his commitment, he’s not the one for you.
2. He Goes Out of His Way to Make You Happy
Your happiness matters to him, and he will do whatever he can to put a smile on your face. If a man really loves you, he will often put your happiness above his own. He’ll cheer you up if you’re having a bad day, surprising you with flowers, your favorite takeout, a bottle of wine, and more. He’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.
3. He’s Protective
If a man really loves you, he will make you feel safe. You never have to worry about getting hurt around him because he will protect you with his last breath. Maybe he always walks on the street side of the sidewalk to protect you from traffic or holds your hand as you jump over a puddle. These little acts of protection are actually ways of showing you he cares. Don’t confuse protectiveness with overprotectiveness and jealousy. Those are toxic traits, and that is not love.
4. He’s Supportive
If a man really loves you, he will support your dreams. Perhaps you’re up for a promotion, and he’s encouraging you to go for it. Maybe your unhappy in your current job, and he’s supporting your decision to find a new, less stressful role. If he is showing an interest in your personal happiness, it’s likely love.
5. He Includes You in Major Decisions
If a man really loves you, he will include you when he’s making major decisions. You will become his sounding board, and he will take into consideration what you have to say. For instance, if he’s looking at the possibility of a career change, he’ll talk to you about it first. If his lease is up, he may discuss the new opportunities this brings. Perhaps he’ll ask you if he should re-new it, find a new place, or move in with you. You are a factor in any major life decision because, his from his point of view, it impacts you both.
6. He Notices the Small Things
Not all men will notice when you get your hair cut, or you’re wearing a new dress, so don’t hold your breath. That doesn’t mean he won’t notice the small things in his own way. Maybe he recognizes when you’ve done something for him, like cooking his favorite meal or doing his laundry. He doesn’t take you for granted, and the little things don’t go unnoticed, even if he doesn’t always vocalize it.
7. He Listens to You
If a man really loves you, he will listen to you and hear what you say. He’ll ask follow-up questions. He’s genuinely curious about your life and will carry on a conversation about them because they are important to you. When you speak to him, you will feel heard and respected. He may even bring things up long after the conversation is over to check-in or see if they relate to your current situation.
8. His Friends and Family Know About You
If a man really loves you, his friends and family know all about you. He’s not keeping you a secret; instead, he’s gushing about how great you are to everyone he knows. Those closest to him may be sick of hearing how amazing you are, but also happy he found a worthy partner. Men may be hesitant to bring girls around their support system, but once you’ve made the rounds, he knows you’re a keeper.
9. He Misses You
This especially applies to those in a long-distance relationship, but if a man really loves you, he will tell you how much he misses you. Even if you live together, he can still miss you when you’re not around. He loves spending time with you and wanting to be in close proximity to those you love is a normal feeling. If he feels your absence when you’re gone, it’s a great sign he’s serious about you.
10. He’s Thoughtful
If a man really loves you, he will be thoughtful. Your happiness is already a priority to him, but he will make sure to do small things to show you how much he cares. Maybe he works nights, so he puts his clothes in the bathroom, so he won’t wake you up when he’s getting ready for bed. Perhaps he makes sure you have a snack mid-day while you’re working because you’re so busy you can’t get up. He thinks of you and does things to show you he does.
11. He’s Reliable
If a man really loves you, he will be reliable. He knows that stability and trust are important parts of relationships, so you’ll never have to wonder if he’ll come through for you. A man in love will drop everything if you need him. Whether you have a flat tire and are stranded on the side of the road or need a shoulder to cry on after a tough day, he’ll show up.
12. He Cooks for You
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and the same can be said about women. Men who cook for you, show you how much they care about you. If a man really loves you, he will learn how to make your favorite meal. Even if he’s not a great cook, it’s a good sign when he makes an effort to prepare a meal for you.
13. He Treats You Well
If a man really loves you, he will treat you well. That doesn’t mean he has to shower you with gifts — though that’s certainly nice! Instead, it can be as simple as being kind to you. He cherishes you and shows you how much he loves and adores you with every action. Actions speak louder than words.
14. He’s Attentive to Your Needs
If a man really loves you, he’s attentive to your needs. If you tell him what you need, he will do it happily and without question. If you don’t tell him, he may be in tune with your behaviors will notice small shifts and react accordingly. He’ll get used to your patterns and identify habits. Do you buy chocolate when it’s your time of the month? If he’s attentive to your needs, he’s probably got a stash at his place waiting for you. He’s watching how he can make your life easier.
15. He Makes Time for You
Sometimes we’ve had to beg our partners for their attention; however, if a man really loves you, he will make time for you. You won’t feel like you’re inconveniencing him when you call him up for a chat or stop by to see him. He may have a busy job, but you will never feel like you’re bothering him. if he loves you, he’ll make time for you.
16. He’s Honest
If a man really loves you, he will be honest with you, even if it means hurting your feelings. You can trust him, so you know that he’s telling the truth. He’ll be there when you need him, so you understand his intentions. If a man really loves you, you never have to doubt his word.
17. He Enjoys Your Quirks
Not all the men in your past may have found your quirks endearing, but if a man really loves you, he will. He won’t try to change you to be someone you’re not. Instead, he’ll celebrate your weirdness. He may even encourage it. Your quirks make you who you are, and he loves you for them.
18. He Makes You a Priority
Just as he makes time for you, he makes you a priority in his life. When there are special events in your life, he’s in the front row. He remembers your birthday, anniversaries, and other significant days in your life because they are important to you. You never feel like you take the backseat to a guys’ night out because he’d rather spend time with you. If a man really loves you, he will make you a priority and be unafraid to show it.
19. He Wants You Near
Not all men are touchy-feely, but if a man really loves you, he will want you around. Maybe he’ll grab your hand or give you passing kisses on the cheek. If a man really loves you, he will want you close to him often and when you can’t be together, he will let you know he wishes you were.
20. He’s Comfortable with You
True love means being comfortable with your partner. You feel free to be yourself without judgment because your partner does the same. If a man really loves you, he will make you feel like it’s okay to be your authentic self. You never have to feel like you have to fit in a box or behave a certain way around him. You no longer have to try to impress him — he already is.
21. He Puts You First
If you get a text, call, or email from him first thing in the morning, it’s a good sign he loves you. It’s a good indication that you are the first thing on his mind when he wakes up and he wants you to know it! He can also prove to you that you are his number one person by checking with you before he makes plans. Being at the top of his list is a sure sign it’s love!
22. He Keeps His Word
If a man really loves you, he will keep his word. If he tells you he is going to do something, he will. A man of his word can be a rare quality these days but, don’t worry, they still exist. If your guy makes you a promise and keeps it, you’ll know he is dependable. He knows that trust and stability are important in a growing relationship, so if a man really loves you, he will demonstrate his honor by keeping his word every time.
23. He Makes You Feel Loved
The truth is a lot of guys aren’t great with expressing their feelings through words. Actions are easier for him. While he may not profess his undying love for you like a modern-day Shakespeare, he’ll make sure you feel loved through his actions. He can show he loves you through a warm embrace or a gentle kiss. It can be anything really, if he knows it makes you happy, he’ll do it to show you he loves you. If he loves you, he wants you to know, especially if saying it is somewhat hard for him. You can see it in his body language, eye contact, or making you feel like you are the only person in the room. If he loves you, he’ll make sure you know it.
24. He’s Your Biggest Fan
If a man really loves you, he will be your biggest fan. Your successes are his successes, so there is no jealousy or competition. He wants the best for you, and he will help you achieve it no matter the cost — even if he’s just encouraging you.
25. He’s Planning for the Future
If a man really loves you, he will start talking about the future. When his plans include you, that’s the biggest sign he loves you. He’ll share them without hesitation. You know that he sees a future with you, and you’re moving confidently toward it each day.
