Key Points

• As a single father, wait until you feel ready to start dating and don't let anybody else make this decision for you.

• Be confident in your role as a single father. Many qualities that make you a great father will also make you a great partner.

• Communicate openly about your situation with your date, co-parent, and your children. Learn to be honest with your children and involve them in your dating life without sharing too much.

• Make friends with other single parents, join online support groups, and go to therapy to cope with your position as a single father, especially in the dating world.

Becoming a single father is a life-changing event. No matter how you take on this role, fatherhood determines how you make decisions for the rest of your life. This reality makes many things scary to navigate but especially dating. 

Dating as a single father doesn't have to be intimidating; look forward to finding someone to share the beauty of your children and your life with! This article includes tips and strategies for coping with the world of dating as a single father — and even finding enjoyment in it. 

Is There Such a Thing as "The Right Time"?

Many people around you probably provide unsolicited opinions about your dating life but listen to your heart over other people's thoughts. Although it may be useful to discuss with a trusted friend and communicate your feelings, remember that you make the final decision regardless of judgment from those around you.

Each circumstance may call for a different time frame as to when you feel comfortable dating again. You may be a widow, recently divorced, or never married. There is no need to rush back into the dating scene.

Make sure you feel ready to accept a new partner. If you still feel the need to complain about your ex, or you haven't removed your passed wife's clothes from the closet yet, it's best to wait until these feelings have resolved. Lingering presence or feelings will scare off a new date before you even have a chance!

When it's time for you to dive back in, do so consciously and patiently. If you start dating before you are ready, you will likely attract partners that also aren't ready. What a recipe for disaster!

Be Confident in Your Experience

Be proud of your position as a single father. Children are often seen as a gift rather than a burden in dating. If you view your single fatherhood as baggage, it holds you back from finding a fulfilling relationship.

Finding a partner who also embraces your fatherhood makes a huge difference in your dating and family life. Put out there what you expect in return — confidence and positivity!

There is often a stigma around being a single parent, especially in the dating world, and especially as a man; however, this is becoming more normalized. You have nothing to be ashamed of as a single parent. Be loud and proud of the family you support and love.

Single Dads are Hot

Many of the things that make you a great single father can also make you a great potential partner! There are countless ways single fathers are superheroes to their kids, but it turns out that single ladies think dads are pretty awesome, too.

Fun side note: According to a recent study by Zoosk, 86 percent of women said they find "dad bods" hot.

Research by Zoosk also found that women find single fathers more attractive since they are used to thinking of other people to care for other than themselves. The women surveyed also mentioned that they find single fathers to be more caring, responsible, patient, and thoughtful.

If it's been a while and you need some guidance on picking out that handsome first-date-look or how to flirt without being totally awkward, check out this guide on "How to Be Charming on a First Date."

Who Wants to Date a Single Father?

One of the most common roadblocks for single fathers is the fear that nobody wants to date a single father.  Many assume that other single parents are the only choice, but this isn't true!

In fact, according to the Zoosk survey, 92 percent of single women said they are open to dating single fathers. This research also found that 55 percent of women think "dad jokes" are funny as pick-up lines.

Feed into your single-dad energy for an even higher chance at scoring dates! Besides, you should always pay more attention to whether or not you like your date than whether or not they like you. Finding a partner that you see as nurturing to both you and your children is key to dating as a single parent.

Remember that you aren't just dating to find yourself a partner, but to find a potential step-parent to your children. This will be the hardest part because even if you love somebody as a partner they may not be a good parent to your children.

It's best to frame the qualities you are looking for in a partner and step-parent before you even set out to date. You want the best for your children, so make sure you're selecting a suitable step-parent to build your blended family with. 

Communication is Always Key

Being honest with your date is vital to establish a proper relationship from the beginning and to weed out anyone resistant to joining a family.

Telling your children about your partner will keep honest communication with them, prevent surprises of serious relationships, and encourage them to be honest with you when they start dating! 

Finally, informing the mother of your children that you're ready to re-enter the dating world will ease the loyalty complex of your children, and keep her informed about the important people in her children's lives. 

Communicating with Potential Partners

Don't avoid the elephant in the room — let your date know as soon as possible that you are a single father. Including this information in your dating profile saves you from having that awkward conversation at a later time. Although it may not be a great pick-up line, it will weed out the potential partners who see children as an issue from the beginning. 

It is best not to waste each other's time, so make sure your date is okay with dating a single father. Your date will also see from the beginning that you are open about your situation and it will help to build trust early on!

Communicating with Your Kids

Decide when you want to let your children know that you are dating someone. Avoid a revolving door of partners, but don't leave them in the dark. This conversation is done best once you have envisioned this person as a long-term part of your life and family.

Being honest with your children is important so they trust and understand you. Make it clear that they are your priority, and that a new partner is not meant to replace their mother, but rather to be your partner.

Children often face a loyalty complex when their parents date other people. This means they will avoid liking your new partner as they do not want to betray their mother. Communicating the intentions of the relationship early will help to limit this loyalty complex or avoid it completely.  Refer to potential partners as "friends" in the beginning until the relationship progresses.

Communicating with Your Co-Parent

Face it: Children love to share secrets. This is why it's important to tell their mother that you are dating so she is not surprised or upset to hear it from the children. Your kids will likely know if their mother is shocked when they mention your date, which opens the door for them to resent your behavior and partner.

Informing their mother that you are dating before the kids know about the new "friend" will maintain honesty amongst the whole family and benefit everyone. You need to communicate this confidently so the mother does not question your decision or determine your boundaries with the children. Break the news as gently as possible, since (almost) nobody likes to hear that their ex is seeing somebody new.

Meeting the Kids

As dating becomes more serious, you eventually want to introduce your new partner to your children. Use discretion as to when it is best to tell your children about your partner, but allow the children and your partner to determine when they are ready to meet.

Organic Bonding is the Way to Go

The meeting will go much smoother if you don't force the timing or interaction. You cannot make your kids like your partner or your partner like your kids. It will be counterproductive if you force them on one another.

If your relationship has progressed to a point that you would like to include your children, present the idea of meeting to both your partner and your children. The introduction will go best when everyone genuinely wants to meet and is prepared for the encounter!

The First Introduction

Introducing your new partner to your children for the first time will provoke all sorts of feelings. A word of advice: Keep the first interaction as casual as possible. Have your new partner over at your house, take the kids bowling, or hit up your family's favorite burger joint.

Don't expect either party to love the other from the beginning; this will take time and acceptance. Allow interactions between your partner and children to happen organically and comfortably. Ease your children and your partner into the new family dynamic, and make sure both parties agree to the time you spend together.

Never forget that your children should be your top priority! It's important to take control of your life and allow yourself to date, but don't neglect your time or relationship with the kids.

Having this new partner sleep over is best held off until you see a clear future with this person. This will prevent your date and children from feeling overwhelmed by a new family dynamic –especially if it's only going to be temporary.

Hot and Cold

Don't be surprised if your child acts hot and cold about the situation. They may be excited about it some days and refuse to see your new partner on other days. This is a normal reaction from a child when a parent starts dating; they are confused with this unfamiliar territory. Try to respect their feelings within reason, and work with what they give you.

Don't allow a constant overturn of partners throughout the house. Kids easily become attached to someone or feel unstable from constantly changing relationships.

Have realistic expectations of how well your partner will get along with your children. Of course, you want there to be mutual love, but this takes time. Be patient with both sides and allow them to naturally find a relationship themselves with a little facilitation and lots of enthusiasm from you.

Involving the Children as You Progress

Find a proper balance between your dating time and your time with your children. Kids easily feel neglected if you're giving up quality time with them to go on dates with your new partner, or if you start inviting them over too much. 

Engage in plenty of "What if" conversations. Before you even begin dating, ask your children: "What if I started dating again? How would you feel?" Continue asking them questions as your relationship progresses to analyze their feelings and begin the progression of your relationship.

For example, "What if Mary came to our family dinner this week?" or "What if Taylor started coming over more regularly?" Proposing these ideas to your children helps them to ease into the newness of your relationship, informs you of what they are thinking or feeling, and allows them to have a say in the family you are creating. 

Invite teenagers or older children into your relationship rather than forcing it on them. For example, "Alex and I are getting dinner on Friday. Would you like to join us?" is an amazing way to give your child the option of whether or not they wish to spend time with you and your partner.

Pay attention to their energy and the expression in their answers. Are your children upset, neutral, or enthusiastic? The emotions surrounding your relationship are a huge determinant of what will happen to your family in the future!

You are Not Alone

According to a census in 2022, more than a quarter of all American families raising children are led by a single parent. Making friends with other single parents will surround you with similar people to support you through the ups and downs of single parenthood.

You'll find other single parents at any event for your children such as school drop off, boy scouts, sports, and clubs which makes attending your child's activities even more useful! There are lots of online forums and groups for you to find support, as well.

Check out sites like SPSN to read blogs, survival guides, and relatable stories, and connect with other single parents. Your experiences are far more normal than you realize and having other people to relate to will make a huge difference in coping with single fatherhood.

Consider Therapy

Therapy is for everyone and there is no shame in going! If you are struggling as a single father or need to sort your head for the dating game, try talking to a professional. Therapists deal with this common situation often and guide you along the way. At the bare minimum, you'll vocalize your thoughts or feelings to sort out exactly what you want. 

Trying therapy as you progress your relationship and start a step-family will also be a game changer. Give the kids private time to talk to a counselor and bring the whole gang together to set clear emotions and expectations from the beginning.  

G​et Out There!

Being a single father is no easy task and dating as one is even harder. Be confident in your role as a single father and be conscientious about when you are ready to start dating again. Discuss with your loved ones what you are feeling or going through. 

Set your expectations with partners as you begin dating. Prioritize the needs of your children and be honest about your dating life when appropriate.  Finding love as a single father is an accessible and beautiful journey.

Happy dating!