Key Points
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Typically, you cannot rematch on a dating app because unmatching is to protect the safety of users.
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Work on facing the rejection of unmatches, and change your approach to avoid future heartbreak.
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Bumble matches expire if neither user responds within 24 hours.
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Bumble allows rematches when your match expires — don't waste the second chance.
Using dating apps comes with many ups and downs. Face the rejection of someone unmatching you, consider rematching, and find out why matches ghost you. Accepting rejection is vital to many aspects of life, and dating apps offer good — and frequent! — practice for this heartache. Although sometimes it's worth it to put yourself out there again and go for a rematch on a dating app.
Everyone who uses dating apps has faced the harsh reality of someone you like disappearing from your inbox. You wonder where things went wrong and if you could have a second chance. Since you often can't rematch on a dating app, explore why matches leave you in the dust for better success with future matches.
Matching
The thrill of a dating app comes when you hear that little alert ding and see that you've matched with someone you like. You can't help but smile and feel a little butterfly in your stomach. Now it's time to chat and flirt with someone who interests you.
Every match is an opportunity to find your newest fling, form a friendship, connect with your soulmate, or find anything else you desire. Appreciate the chance to chat with this cutie and get to know them.
Quality Over Quantity
Dating apps become addictive as you feel a rush of emotions every time you match with someone. While this is fun and exciting, it's also dangerous. Find the line between matching to find a boo and matching to boost your ego. If you're frivolous in matching, you'll leave countless babes hanging, waiting for your attention.
Only swipe right on people you're interested in to protect the feelings of others. Intentionally swiping avoids wasting your time and facing the rejection of people unmatching you. People who take the dating app seriously will likely unmatch you if you swipe aimlessly and match with anyone.
Avoid unmatches by only liking people you see yourself going on a date with soon. Swipe away and enjoy matching with the hotties who interest you. Give them the attention needed to form a connection while preventing unmatches and expired matches.
Unmatching
Sometimes a match changes their mind or chickens out from chatting with you. Regardless, you'll never know exactly why someone has unmatched you. It's disappointing and sometimes even hurtful to your self-esteem for a match to ditch you. Part of the game of online dating is learning to accept rejection and understand that this stranger's lack of interest in you isn't a reflection of your worth.
According to Sheila Robinson-Kiss, a social worker and mental health expert, "If you were to take a wrong turn down a dark, dead-end street, chances are you wouldn't sit in your car and analyze the mechanics of your high beams or engage in a conversation with your GPS. You would likely make a quick adjustment, turn around as fast as possible, and get back on track. Adopt the same strategy for dealing with rejection."
Not every rematch leads to a fairy tale ending, and sometimes it turns out that chemistry isn't there, which is okay. If someone has you giddy, then unmatches you, shake it off and get swiping again. It's hard to face this rejection, but it simply shows that your partnership isn't written in the stars. There's nothing to do now except pursue someone new and better suited to you.
On Bumble, a match expires if you don't both send a message within 24 hours of matching. This rule avoids dead-end matches and weeds out serial swipers. However, sometimes life gets in the way, and you didn't intend to lose this match that made your heart thump. So what do you do if your match expires and you want another shot at wooing them?
Rematching
Nearly all dating apps have a feature to unmatch someone for safety reasons or to change your mind about a connection. Since this feature is for safety and security, most dating apps don't have the option to rematch. While this may frustrate you when you get the short end of the stick, it's essential to recognize the intention and practicality of this feature.
When a dating app has a rematch feature, diving right back in is tempting. Rematching on a dating app is a second chance at finding your potential dinner date or soulmate. This do-over button lets you chat with someone you missed the opportunity with initially.
Dating is a journey where each match brings you one step closer to finding your special someone. So, take the plunge if you're considering a rematch but feeling hesitant. You never know what happens until you try!
Rematching someone won't necessarily change their mind about liking you, but it does show them that you're genuinely interested in getting to know them and puts you back on their radar.
Bumble
Bumble has a unique feature that ends matches if both people don't send a message within 24 hours. The female has to send the first message, and then the male has 24 hours to answer. If one person misses their window, the match expires.
Rematch
Since Bumble has this expired match feature, it also has a rematch feature. A rematch renews your time for initial contact. As a paid member, you can rematch with someone after you miss the chance. Free members are also allowed one rematch daily, so choose how you spend your rematch wisely.
Rematching is only available if you're the one who missed the time window. So ladies, if you miss the opportunity to reach out within 24 hours of matching, you still have a chance. Men, save the match with this premium feature if your cutie sent a message and you didn't answer within 24 hours.
If you sent a message and didn't receive a response, wait to see if your crush extends a rematch. If they don't, just shake it off and hunt for your new heartthrob.
Rematching an expired chat on Bumble allows you to explore a connection that slipped through the cracks. Since expired matches are an exclusive feature of Bumble, so is the rematching feature. Rematching is available on Bumble BFF and Bumble Bizz, too. So, give your potential friends and professional network a second shot, too.
Some other apps allow a rematch but typically require contacting support to do something about it. This seems extreme to get in contact with someone you don't know! Let these missed opportunities slide and find new matches who don't want to unmatch you.
Extend
If you send a message to a match and their response time is running out, Bumble has a feature to extend a match. This extension gives your match more time to respond to your initial message without expiring. Try it out and show your match you want to get to know them. Worst case scenario, they don't answer, and you're back to looking for a new partner.
Should You Rematch?
Many people hesitate to rematch because it may seem that you come on too strong. However, the person liked you and already showed interest in you. Unless you sent an awful first message to turn them away, they likely lost track of time or didn't see the notification.
If you're thinking about a rematch, go for it; trust your gut feeling. Reading this article indicates that you want it and might be overthinking it. If your intuition is nudging you to rematch, it's worth trying.
Many people have turned off dating app notifications or are too busy to check them daily. Maybe the timing wasn't right for your match when you sent the message. Work commitments, personal circumstances, and countless other factors get in the way. Give that cutie the benefit of the doubt and extend a rematch to them.
After You Rematch
It's crucial to avoid appearing desperate or salty about the unmatch when communicating again after rematching. It's a huge red flag if you give someone a hard time over something so trivial this early. Be light and carry on as if your feelings aren't hurt.
Once you rematch, rebreak the ice or bring attention to the extension. If your first message was weak, try sending a new, more intriguing one.
A good opening message shows that you've read the person's profile and want to get to know them. Never ask a question that's answered in their profile, such as their hometown or occupation. Instead, highlight something you two have in common. Ask them to divulge information about their recent travel adventure. Tell them that you're intrigued by their look and hobbies.
Don't overdo the compliments in the first message — or at all. While it feels nice for a match to flatter you, there's such a thing as too much. Inboxes are full of matches trying to woo someone by stroking their ego, and this strategy blends you into the crowd. Hit them with an engaging conversation and a sprinkle of your personality to catch their attention.
If you reflect and realize your first message sucked, joke about it. Say something like:
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"Wow, I wouldn't have answered my bland message either. Give me a redo…" followed by a question or other conversation starter.
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"Here we are, back at the starting line. Let me ditch the small talk this time and get into something juicy. What's the most daring thing you've done lately?"
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"They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, yet here I am again. What's something in life you want better odds for?"
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"I have a confession: I couldn't stop thinking about you, and it broke my heart a little that we unmatched. Do you believe in second chances?"
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"Ready for a rematch that will make all your other matches jealous?"
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"Wow, who hit the rematch button? It must have been fate. Tell me about another amazing coincidence you've encountered lately."
Spice up these lines to reflect your personality, or use them as inspiration to craft your own. Be silly and lighthearted. Show boldness without coming on too strong.
Send a gif after the rematch if you already sent a solid opener. Pick an arm reaching out to someone, an iceberg breaking, or an alarm clock snoozing. These funny and light gifs make your bold move seem more nonchalant to protect your ego and to make your match less embarrassed about nearly missing their shot.
When They Answer
After your rematch answers your second message, allow things to flow smoothly from here. Be careful not to come on too strong, as you've already put yourself on the line. You don't need to retract and act like you're too cool for school, but maybe don't answer within 30 seconds of their response.
Once things are going nicely and you go on that first date, you'll never even remember that you had to rematch.
If they don't answer your second shot, brush off your shoulder and pursue someone else. Dealing with minor rejections is a part of dating, especially on dating apps. Be proud that you went for what you wanted, and rest assured this person isn't meant for you.
Avoid an Unmatch
It's great when there's an option to renew a match or rematch with someone, but avoiding an unmatch is even better. Reflect on why this happened if you're dealing with someone unmatching you or if it's a trend in your dating app career. Are your opening messages lame? Do you come on too strong? Do you take too long to answer?
Once you realize where things are going wrong, work on fixing the issue from the source.
Improving Opening Messages
Starting an intriguing conversation is vital to keeping your matches interested and lets you get to know them. Avoid generic and vague messages like "Hey, what's up?" or "Hi, how are you?"
Utilize your match's profile to gauge what topics to discuss. Focus on common interests or hobbies. Highlight something about them that's unique or impresses you. Spark up a conversation about something exciting and surprising.
Try some of these openers:
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"What has been the highlight of your week so far?"
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"I binge-watch rom-coms on the weekends. What do you think of this habit on a scale from 'I want to join you' to 'this is a dealbreaker'?"
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"I see you also visited [insert travel destination]. What was your favorite part? I loved the [share an experience]."
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"I'm cooking dinner for us. What meal would make you fall in love with me?"
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"Favorite Game of Thrones character, actor, and episode?"
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"Would you rather get dinner, go bowling, or hike on a first date?"
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"If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be and why?"
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"I noticed you have pics in [location]. I went there last year. Did you visit [landmark or attraction]?"
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"Happy I found a fellow bookworm! What are you reading now?"
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"I see you enjoy skiing. Where's your favorite place to go?"
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"What's your MBTI personality type?"
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"If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
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"What's your most controversial opinion?"
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"Were Ross and Rachel really on a break?"
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"When teleportation is finally possible, where's your first destination?"
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"What's the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person?"
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"What's on your 'My List' on Netflix?"
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"What's your favorite topic to geek out about?"
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"Tell me about a secret talent you have."
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"Do you have any guilty pleasures?"
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"How are you tonight? Have you dined with us before? Let me know if you have any questions about the menu, and I'd be glad to help."
These opening lines range from silly and flirty to deep and engaging. Choose the vibe that best suits your personality and relationship goals. Maybe even test a few of your favorites to see which results best. Soon you'll be on your way to better conversations with matches and more dates.
Pace Yourself
While having steady conversations and showing interest in someone is important, sending super-long messages and pouring your heart out is overwhelming. Huge red flag!
Limit your first message to one or two sentences. Don't bring up every exciting topic you want to discuss with your match immediately. Prepare for a slower burn and address the top subject to get the ball rolling.
Keep the conversations light in the beginning. Your potential dates should know what you're looking for to ensure you're on the same page, but save the family planning or marriage goals for later.
Avoid over-complimenting your match. It's sweet and savory to let them know how attracted you are to them or how impressed you are by their rock climbing abilities. However, complimenting is frequently overdone on dating apps, and you'll get lost in the plethora of matches in their inbox trying to woo them. It will be much more meaningful when you drop some compliments eventually!
Timing and Flow
The timing in your replies might be why matches turn away from you. Answering too quickly and too slowly are both annoying to many people. Your first message should always be within 24 hours of matching; the sooner, the better.
If you tend to send a message towards the end of the 24 hours and deal with much unmatching, prioritize sending a message sooner for higher chances of sparks.
Once you have the first reply, it's best to answer whenever you want. Keep your notifications on and respond to messages when you're free. Check your messages at least once daily to keep things alive.
If there's someone that you're having a great conversation with and want to prioritize, ask for their number. Texting or messaging on a third-party app is often more genuine and reliable than on a dating app.
To keep the conversation flowing, balance sharing things about yourself and asking questions about your hot new match. Be attentive to their responses to show you care about what they say. Be open and honest about yourself without telling your life story.
Leave some exciting topics for meeting in person. Have an intriguing conversation on the app as you get to know each other, but don't dive all the way in just yet.
While there seem to be many rules surrounding your chats, don't overthink it! If you're facing frequent rejection, analyze what might be going wrong and test different approaches. The most important thing is to be authentic and find the person who suits you.
Maintain Those Matches
Rejection is part of the dating game, especially on dating apps where ghosting someone is common. This doesn't make it easy, though.
When someone unmatches you, analyze why it happened to improve your future techniques. If you're unmatched once in a blue moon, dust yourself off and move on to the next one.
If you often deal with people unmatching or ghosting you, ponder why this is happening and try a different approach. The best way to avoid the heartache of an unmatch on a dating app is to revamp the convos with your matches.
Respond within 24 hours on Bumble to ensure your matches don't expire. If your heart is set on someone and you missed the opportunity, splurge on a rematch and try again.
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