The Myers-Briggs Type Inventory is one of the most popular personality tests in the world. Knowing your Myers-Briggs personality type can help you understand how your mind works — many people who’ve taken a Myers-Briggs test say it’s uncannily accurate at describing their personalities. Knowing your partner’s Myers-Briggs type can help you determine how compatible you are with one another and understand how your relationship might function. Today, we’re going to look at INFP relationship compatibility to see who the best matches are for an INFP personality.
The INFP Personality: Meet Your Mediator
Developed by psychologists Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers, the MBTI uses the work of famous psychologist Carl Jung to describe personalities. Myers-Briggs types are based on a person’s position along four axes: introversion-extroversion, sensing-intuition, thinking-feeling, and judging-perceiving. Our subject today is the Myers-Briggs type known as the INFP: Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving.
Sometimes known as The Mediator or The Idealist, the INFP personality type is known to be very idealistic and creative. They are driven by a set of core values that they hold dear, and they often view the world through the lens of these values. While INFP’s are usually laid-back, when their values are confronted they will aggressively defend them. INFP’s sometimes view disagreements with their core values as a personal attack, which can be challenging if your INFP has different opinions than you on certain topics.
Despite their fearsome commitment to their principles, INFP’s are usually found daydreaming away. They are prone to philosophical pondering and asking big questions like “What is my purpose here?” This philosophical attitude makes INFP’s more open-minded than many other personality types. Driven by their values, they are more interested in understanding other people than they are in judging them or forcing dogma on them. In terms of INFP relationship compatibility, rigid people are a turn-off for Mediators.
INFP Relationship Skills
Before evaluating INFP relationship compatibility, we need to understand how INFP’s are in relationships. Perhaps the most important thing to an INFP is a true sense of connection with their partners. Introverts to the core, INFP’s can sometimes seem hard to know, and they often hold their true selves in reserve while they evaluate a potential partner for long-term compatibility. While their charm, manners, and charisma can make INFP’s very attractive to many people, they are not casual daters. For an INFP relationship, compatibility means connecting on a soulful level. Remember, the INFP is a dreamer and an idealist who believes in true love. Anything less than that and they’re not interested.
Once they’re in a relationship, Mediators make amazing partners. They are sensitive, caring, and deeply dedicated to taking care of their lovers. They might seem cold at first, especially in the get-to-know-you stages of a relationship. However, when you’ve won over an INFP’s heart, they’ll prove to be intensely devoted to you. This is a blessing, but if you’re not careful, it can become a curse. INFP’s have a strong aversion to conflict, and this, plus their tendency to do whatever it takes to make their partners happy, can lead them to put off their own needs. If an INFP has been putting their own needs aside for too long or avoiding conflict over minor things, they can occasionally boil over and become angry. This is mostly a problem for INFP men. When it comes to INFP relationship compatibility, the INFP needs a partner who can provide them with safe outlets for their complaints and enough space to meet their own needs.
INFP Relationship Compatibility – Dating
INFP’s don’t commonly date casually. As believers in true love and soul connections, INFP’s will evaluate every potential partner against their “ideal.” Their idea of an ideal partner might be based on a past relationship (best to unpack that luggage early in the relationship!) or even a fictional character. INFP’s may also develop their ideal image through their daydreams. This tendency to idealize a partner often leads INFPs to place their partner, once they find them, on a pedestal.
When evaluating INFP relationship compatibility in terms of dating, it’s important to understand that Mediators dislike tradition and dogma. If you’re looking for traditional romance, you may want to look somewhere else. If you’re looking for a partner who will support you as you chase your dreams, the INFP might be your ideal mate. They will go the extra mile for someone they love and get a great deal of personal satisfaction out of helping their partners achieve their goals.
For an INFP relationship, compatibility involves finding a partner who’s willing to indulge their love of learning and creativity. For a lot of folks, dinner and a movie is a perfect date, but your INFP might find this boring or pedestrian. A much better date would be going to a painting class, a museum, or a park. The love language of INFP’s is time: they would much rather hang out somewhere low-key and enjoy a long conversation or an experience together over some extravagant outing.
While INFP’s can present a cool and collected exterior, still waters run deep for this personality type. They may need validation from you that you’re meeting their needs. INFP’s don’t like to play games and they want to make you happy, so they crave reassurance from you that everything is OK and you’re happy.
INFP Relationship Compatibility – Domestic Life
A major aspect of determining INFP relationship compatibility is your tolerance for their domestic lifestyle. As big-picture thinkers with a low tolerance for the mundane, INFP’s don’t always make great housekeepers. An INFP’s mind can completely ignore the pile of dishes in the sink or the mountain of laundry piled up next to the machine. They understand why housework is important, but it’s not really a priority for the average INFP. This can be especially confounding considering that INFP’s can be meticulous when they want to be! A Mediator might walk past a full trash can and over a rug in dire need of vacuuming, only to pluck a speck of dust off the project they’re working on. If you need a partner who is good at keeping house, your INFP relationship compatibility is probably very low.
INFP’s can be agonizing decision-makers. Many psychologists and Myers-Briggs experts believe that, in terms of INFP relationship compatibility, INFP’s need someone willing and able to make decisions. The INFP likes to keep their options open for as long as possible when making a decision in case the scenario changes. Even a decision like “Where should we go for lunch?” can launch the INFP into a frenzy of analysis and information-seeking. Fortunately, INFP’s are typically very comfortable with letting other people make decisions: if you tell your INFP “We’re going to get lunch at the diner,” they’ll be delighted that they don’t have to make the decision. As a bonus, they’ll know you’re happy since you picked the restaurant!
Finally, INFP’s need space in their domestic life. In an INFP relationship compatibility includes mutual autonomy: a codependent or clingy partner can be a turn-off. Much like cats, once they’ve chosen to be in a relationship with you they will love you forever, but they need some room to do their own thing. Your INFP is probably crazy about you, but they still need some alone time in the den or the garage to decompress and do their thing. Alone. Completely. The massively introverted nature of the Mediator makes it essential that their partner respect their need for space. Don’t take it personally! It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with needing to binge Netflix and not having to share the popcorn.
INFP Relationship Compatibility – Sex
The stereotypical introvert is not an especially sexy person. In American culture, we perceive introverts as shy and reclusive and associate them with frigidity and a lack of sex. Nothing could be further from the truth for INFP’s! Mediators are very open-minded people who are often willing to test their limits and those of their lovers. They are sexually creative and might have a deep well of surprisingly wild sexual ideas and desires! That suggestively shaped desk trinket might not be a paperweight.
While they love sex, the INFP’s fundamental desire isn’t to scratch a physical itch, it’s to connect with their partner. The Mediator wants nothing more than to feel a deep emotional connection with you while they are physically connected to you in the closest way possible. Even if you find you and your INFP pushing the limits, chances are they’ll loosen the restraints long enough to kiss you and tell you they love you before they bust out the chocolate syrup and the blindfold.
In the unlikely event you find yourself dissatisfied with the lovemaking skills of your INFP, keep in mind that they want to please you. INFP personalities love to make their partners happy, especially in bed! If there is something you want or need from them, asking for it is a surefire way of receiving it.
INFP Relationship Compatibility – Most and Least Compatible MBTI Types
One of the best ways to determine INFP relationship compatibility is to use the Myers-Briggs test to figure out what personalities will make the best partners for an INFP. In general, INFP’s are highly emotional people, even if they don’t show it, and as such they prefer partners who share their Feeling traits, such as INFJ and ENFJ. They also strongly prefer partners who share their reliance on intuition versus sensing. ESTP and ESTJ partners are poor matches for Mediators and have almost no INFP relationship compatibility. Mediators want someone authentic, honest, and empathetic.
ENFJ INFP Relationship Compatibility
ENFJ and INFP relationship compatibility is off the charts! Some people claim that the ENFJ is the perfect match for the INFP. Both ENFJ (sometimes called the Protagonist) and INFP are intuitive-feeling personalities, which means that they value meaningful and deep connections. ENFJ INFP relationships are often built around mutual interests, but both partners are willing and able to support their counterparts in solo interests. If ENFJ wants to learn to scuba dive and INFP wants to learn to paint, each partner will be comfortable giving the space and time needed to pursue these solo interests. While ENFJ’s will do a lot of the heavy lifting conversationally, INFP’s will find conversations with an ENFJ to be a wellspring of connection and authentic bonding that makes them feel good. Not only are they highly compatible in terms of their bond and their individual needs, but their strengths and weaknesses are often complementary, especially around the house. INFP’s likes cleanliness, even if they’re bad at it, and ENFJ’s won’t mind picking up some of the slack or helping INFP develop better habits. An ENFJ INFP relationship is likely to be long-lasting and harmonious.
ENTJ INFP Relationship Compatibility
ENTJ personalities tend to be natural-born leaders who are charismatic, confident, and authoritative. They can also seem ruthlessly rational and determined. While this in-charge personality might seem to be a poor setup in terms of INFP relationship compatibility, these couples can work surprisingly well together. ENTJ’s often seek relationships that offer them intellectual stimulation, which the INFP is more than able to provide: after all, INFP’s love discussing ideas and philosophies. INFP’s and ENTJ’s both think in a big-picture way that doesn’t focus too much on the details, so their conversations can wind for hours without becoming mired down in specifics. ENTJ’s also likes to find a partner who can help them tap into their more sensitive and softer side, a task for which INFP’s are perfectly suited. Experts rank ENTJ – INFP relationship compatibility as high.
INFJ INFP Relationship Compatibility
Another excellent match for INFP’s is the Advocate, INFJ. Advocates and Mediators aren’t just job titles at the law firm, they’re a highly compatible MBTI match. Both of these creative introverts want their relationship to be deep, committed, and based on authenticity and acceptance. The Advocate and the Mediator are also both drawn to artsy and cultural scenes: this couple could spend days wandering around in art or science museums, sharing information, and learning new things. Their mutual introversion provides a safe and comfortable space for both members of the couple to pursue their own interests: neither one is likely to drag the other to a party. INFJ’s and INFP’s are both highly values-driven and not materialistic. The one source of friction for this highly compatible couple is likely to be their organizational strategies. INFJ’s like order a little more than INFP’s, which can cause some minor spats. Nothing that Marie Kondo can’t fix! That being said, INFJ and INFP relationship compatibility is above average, even if it’s not quite as perfect of a fit as ENFJ INFP relationships.
ESTJ INFP Relationship Compatibility
When it comes to INFP relationship compatibility, some personalities simply don’t mesh well. Such is the case with the ESTJ INFP relationship. ESTJ’s, sometimes known as Executives, are bastions of tradition and order. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and aren’t always comfortable with ambiguity or gray areas. This sets up the ESTJ and the INFP for conflict right off the bat, as the INFP is a much more flexible thinker who often has a strong distaste for tradition and authority. INFP’s are also free-thinkers who might enjoy things such as poetry that an ESTJ sees as frivolous or immature. This can be compounded by ESTJ’s approach to conflict, which is to discard tact in favor of direct– some might say blunt– truth-telling. An INFP is likely to find an ESTJ somewhat abrasive and stodgy, and an ESTJ might see an INFP as a dreamer or a slacker. While the MBTI is far from a perfect predictor — indeed, any relationship between two people can work out if the parties respect and love one another — it is safe to say that ESTJ and INFP relationship compatibility is rather low.
ISFJ INFP Relationship Compatibility
Another unlikely match for the INFP is the ISFJ. Known as the Defender, the ISFJ is a competent, imaginative, and hard-working person. In fact, they share a lot of common ground with INFP: they are compassionate, empathetic, and often values-focused. However, the ISFJ is a highly practical, logical person who values pragmatism and immediate results. This is in contrast to INFP’s preference for ideas and theories. While you’re both caring people, INFP’s might find ISFJ’s internal motivations a tad askew. ISFJ may see INFP’s deep-rooted ideals and fixation on the injustices of the world to be unhelpful. In the best-case scenario, these partners learn from one another and experience mutual growth and development. Worst case, they drive one another insane. This rift can be worsened by their starkly different approaches to domesticity. ISFJ people like things to be clean, tidy, and organized, while INFP people are far less interested in organization and housekeeping. This can set up an almost parent-child-like dynamic, which is not fun in a romantic relationship (unless you’re into that type of thing. No judgement). Furthermore, ISFJ’s are “doers” while INFP’s are “thinkers.” ISFJ – INFP relationship compatibility is probably not very high. While they could enjoy a long and happy relationship, there’s a good chance that ISFJ and INFP will find their relationship unsatisfying.
ESTP INFP Relationship Compatibility
Probably the least compatible person for the INFP is the ESTP. In Myers-Briggs terms, these personalities are almost diametrically opposed: every single aspect of their MBTI type is opposite from the other! ESTP’s are often highly intelligent, but they don’t have much use for long, winding, theoretical discussions. They are highly sociable and energized by company, where the INFP is perfectly content to go hide when people come calling. ESTP likes to make extensive and detailed plans, while INFP prefers to keep their plans loose and flexible. In terms of communication, ESTP is far more interested in the “what” of a topic while INFP prefers to chat about the “why.” Since there is almost no ESTP INFP relationship compatibility, it is highly unlikely that these two personalities will enter into a relationship together.
INFP Relationship Compatibility – The Final Word
INFP’s are unique people. These caring, empathetic souls love to spend their time contemplating the world and their place in it. Solitary yet loving, these values-driven and authentic people can find a fit in almost any relationship, however, the greatest chances of developing an enduring relationship come when INFP pairs with a partner who shares their reliance on feelings and values will make for a very pleasant and harmonious partnership.