How To Shine in Your Dating App Profile

Key Points

  • To have a dating app profile that gets attention, put effort into your bio and photos. 

  • Your dating app profile must be honest and engaging.

  • Finding out if your significant other has a profile takes a little work.

You’ve made your accounts on your dating apps, now you have to write your dating app profile. Most people find writing a bio daunting. What do you say about yourself? What if everything you write is stupid or off-putting? Worse, what if you have nothing to say about yourself at all?

Worry not! It’s easier than you think to write a dating app profile. Specific things go into a well-written profile — you just need to follow a formula. Write a killer bio in a few short steps with this in-depth guide.

What To Write in Your Profile

When figuring out what to write in your profile, think about what you want to read in other people's profiles. You want to know the basic stuff: What do they like to do? Do they have pets? What do they do for a living?

It’s the same for you. Write what people want to read!

Be Specific

Do you have a favorite hobby? Put that in your profile. Someone else who likes to play badminton or watch old kung fu movies is out there ready to get excited that you like that, too.

Do you have a pet? Put that in your profile. The animal lovers out there want to know all about your fur baby. 

What do you do for a living? Don't settle for the generic "food industry" label you select when you set up your profile. Dig into the details. Are you a talented pastry chef or a charming hostess? Inquiring minds want to know. 

Dating app profile

Cater to Your Target Demographic

Decide who you want to attract. Someone who likes to go hardcore hiking? Someone who likes to see plays? A fellow foodie? Use an inside joke or reference to your fandom so those who are into the same thing take notice. It also filters out those who don’t. Write in your profile what you are looking for without saying it outright.

“I’m looking for a fellow foodie to go out on the town with.” That’s generic and boring. You want your partner to be a foodie too, so write something a bit more engaging: “I’m an enthusiastic foodie. Ask me my favorite restaurant and let’s eat there.” That's bound to get you a few likes and messages.

Be Genuine

When you write your bio, be genuinely yourself. If you aren’t normally funny, don’t put jokes in your profile. If you tend to tell corny jokes, then tell a corny joke. The point is to be you. Honestly you. 

Tell a (very short) story about yourself that shows who you are, like that time you went to the mall and lost your friends in the mystic shop. Or that time at the dance club when the guy who asked if you wanted a drink looked at you like you were crazy when you ordered water. It doesn’t have to be funny, dark, or even important. It just has to be you.

Post a Good Photo

You’ve seen the photos that cause you to swipe left: duck face selfies, group photos, a dude with 12 girls surrounding him. Worse yet? The selfie where the person is looking down at the camera. 

Find your best angle. Take the photo in good light. Don’t use a bathroom mirror selfie. Figure out how to use the timer on your phone camera. Make sure the first photo people see is a clean, clear shot of your face.

This not only gives you a better chance at snagging a date but also shows that you care enough to post a flattering photo. If you don’t want to bother posting a decent picture of yourself, how are you going to bother about your date? The photo matters.

Be Honest

If you're only on this app for a quick hook-up, say so. Don’t lead on others who are looking for love — or even like — when you’re there for a one-night stand. Other people are there for a single night in the bedroom, too, so you’re not alone.

But you might end up that way if you aren’t upfront with your intentions. 

Use a Call to Action

At the end of your bio, give a call to action that gets your potential dates to message you first. A call to action, abbreviated as CTA in marketing circles, is a phrase at the end of your bio that encourages someone to do something. You are, essentially, marketing yourself. Marketing specialist Liz Stanton says, “A great CTA will make it easy and enticing for your target audience to take the action you want them to take.”

Asking a question is the easiest way to get a reader to message you. “My favorite hike is the Max Patch on the Appalachian Trail. What’s yours?” This gives your potential date an opportunity to message you. 

What do you like to do? Is there something specific to say about it? What question goes along with your "something specific" that inspires the reader to send you a message?

In the end, “[a] good CTA is a conversational tool,” says Mike Lazar, a digital marketer. You want to start a conversation. Use the call to action to do it.

What Not To Write in Your Profile

Some things don’t go in your profile. If you steer clear of these, you greatly increase the chance the person looking at your profile swipes right.

Man laughing using phone

Don’t Be Self-Deprecating

No one wants to hear about how sad your life is. They want to hear about how good and happy it is. Saying, “I’m so ugly, but you’ll love me anyway,” does not make you lovable. Don’t put yourself down in your profile. 

Better yet, don’t put yourself down in your life!

Don't Be Unlikable

No one wants to be talked down to. When you say things like, “I don’t even know why I’m on here” or “I’m just here to see what happens,” don’t be surprised when no one swipes right on you. Those aren’t very likable things to say. In fact, they’re downright unlikeable. You don’t want to be unlikable. The point is to get people to swipe right, so be right-swipeable. 

Don’t Use Overtly Sexual Language

People know why you’re on the dating app. Even if you’re looking for your one and only, eventually you want it to lead to the bedroom. Don’t come off as a neanderthal making sexual jokes and comments. People don’t like it. They simply think you are crass.

Don’t Make a List of Don’ts

Making a long list of the things you don’t like or don’t want makes you sound shallow. “No short chicks!” “No fat dudes!” Not only do you come off as petty, you miss out on people who might be fantastic matches for you.

Actually, Don’t Make Any Lists

Lists are what you make when you have things to do, not when you are trying to write a dating profile bio. They show you have no imagination and aren’t putting enough effort into your bio. Make your bio more imaginative and write a good one — without lists!

Whatever You Do, Don’t Lie

Being honest in your profile is the best thing to do for yourself. If you lie, your date will find out and you erode trust before it has a chance to grow. Don’t write things you like when you don’t like them. Don’t lie about your accomplishments to impress your potential dates. It works to get someone to swipe right initially, but isn't a strong foundation on which to build a relationship, and what if you really like them? Honesty is the best policy. 

Honest.

How To Describe Yourself in Your Bio

How you describe yourself is just as important as what you put in your profile. Don’t use boring phrasing or cliche language. Be as uplifting and original as possible. People feel that through your writing.

Use a thesaurus – but don’t overdo it. Thesauruses are cool and showing off your wide vocabulary makes your profile more interesting. Just make sure you know the intended meaning of the words you use, or risk looking like you’re trying too hard to be something you’re not.

If nothing else, you learn a new word or two.

Bio Template

To help you along, here’s a template to use when building your profile:

Opening

Describe yourself in an original way. No, not how you look. Users already see that you’re a brunette beauty or a bronzed buff bodybuilder in your photo. Describe the things people can’t observe. Use descriptors like curious, open-minded, cheerful, empathetic, motivated, optimistic, sincere, or resourceful. 

Middle

Dig in deeper and tell your potential dates about yourself. What are your hobbies? Do you have any animals? Do you prefer the indoors or the outdoors? What do you actually want to do with your date? Say it in a way that isn’t ordinary and boring. This is where you put the insider joke or reference to your fandom, whatever that is. Be specific and be concise. People don’t want to read overly long profiles.

Girl smiling looking at phone

End

Tell the reader something you like and be very specific about it. Ask a question pertaining to that something. This is a great conversation starter to get them to message you.

Examples of Great Dating App Bios

Here are a few examples of dating app bios that are original, fun, and get you swipes in the right direction:

  • “Looking for an open-minded optimist that’s looking for adventure? I’m your guy/gal. I love to do extreme outdoor sports, but my parkour still needs a little work. I’ve skydived over Vegas and lived to tell the tale. I’d love to go paragliding next. What’s your next adventure going to be?”

  • “I’m a sensitive, empathic dude/tte who loves to see the world in new and wondrous ways. I hike with my dog through unfiltered nature for hours on end. My best hike was a short one at Ray’s Ridge, only half a mile. But what a half mile! The view was amazing. I’m ready for my dog and me to become a trio. Are you our next hiking buddy?”

  • “I’m a serious introvert, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to have fun. I spend hours enjoying the cinematography of old black-and-white movies. I’m looking for a cuddle buddy to dig into Jimmy Stewart or Vivien Leigh with me and a big bowl of popcorn. What’s your favorite flavor?”

  • “Need a winter hat? I’ve got your head covered. I’m an avid crafter who knits and I’ve run out of people to knit for. You’ll find me curled up in a blanket of my own design, needles going a mile a minute. When I’m not knitting, I’m sewing, crocheting, or doing woodwork. What’s your favorite craft? Are you willing to teach it to me?”

  • “I’m ready to dance to the beat with a new partner. You love music as much as I do and are itching to experience the music scene in our area. Do our music tastes blend? Tell me about our favorite band and let’s see.”

Bios can go in a number of directions, but being specific and to the point opens the door for others to get to know you best after just meeting you in an app. 

Profile Tips for Men

Guys, you have to do a little more work than the ladies when it comes to your profile because most dating sites are men-heavy. Keep the following in mind when working on your profile:

Avoid Group Pictures

Don’t put a picture of you with a bunch of other people in your dating profile. Upload pictures of just you. You don’t want a potential date looking at the other guys in the photo and wishing you were them. Or worse, mistaking you for one of them! If you have flaws, like you’re the shortest one in the group or you are the only one going bald, a group picture brings these flaws to the forefront.

Man happy with phone

No Photos With Women

Some people upload photos of themselves with women to show that they attract women or at least aren’t a creep. Don’t do this. It comes across as sleazy or creepy, depending on the photo. Come across as friendly and approachable by posting a good photo of just yourself being happy.

Don’t Slice Your Photos, Either

Don't simply crop a photo with other people in it so all that’s left is you and your ex’s arm around your shoulders. It’s borderline disrespectful and shows that you're unwilling to put in the time to take a decent picture of yourself by yourself. It doesn’t take much effort to snap a selfie in good lighting looking head-on into the camera.

If You Have a Pet, Use Them

Want to look friendlier and more approachable? Take some photos of you and your pet. Seeing pictures of cute animals gives everyone a dopamine hit. Use that to your advantage. By posting a joyful photo of yourself with your furry friend, you hand your potential date a dopamine hit before you even start messaging them. Not only does it open the door for conversation, it lets your potential date know you have a dog/cat/bird/ferret/fish.

This also allows them to decide if they want to date someone who has a pet. If you have a dog, you don't want to date someone who is allergic or doesn't like dogs. With a pet in your picture, you look good and filter out people you don't want in one fell swoop.

State Your Intentions Upfront

Are you looking for a hookup? Say so. There are other people on that dating app looking for a hookup, too. This way, you’re honest with potential partners and filter out those looking for a more serious, long-term relationship.

Be Confident

Be confident, but don't be cocky — there is a difference. Most people love confidence. While confidence shows you’re sure of your abilities, cockiness stems from insecurity and others pick up on that. Know what you’re good at and let dates know what it’s in your profile. Don’t make yourself out to be more than you are.

Don’t make yourself out to be less, either. No potential lover wants an emotionally manipulative guy who goes on a "woe is me" kick every time something goes wrong. Take responsibility for your actions and be open and honest.

Downloading a dating app

Connect to Third Party Platforms

Some dating apps allow you to connect to your social media accounts like Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn. Connect to them! It shows your potential dates that you have nothing to hide and provides extra information about you. This is where they get to see the group photos of you and your friends hanging out at the beach or the bar (if they want). 

Profile Tips for Women

There are a few things ladies can also do to increase the chance of a message being sent your way. Most sites are male-dominated, so make sure you attract the best caliber people possible.

Don’t Use Solicitous Photos

Make sure the photos on your profile are tasteful. Watch your body stance and the look on your face. Be sexy, by all means, but maintain a level of decorum so you don’t come across as sleazy. An ideal profile includes a full body shot, a headshot, an activity shot, and a photo of your choice. You want your online dating experience to be a safe and happy one, so have a classy set of photos to filter out unseemly dates.

Show Yourself Doing Something

Post a photo of you in action. Show yourself engaged in an activity and not just hanging out at the mall or the bar. This tells prospective dates that there’s more to you than a pretty face. You have a life outside of dating — hobbies, activities you enjoy, and friends. Show them off. It makes you more interesting and attracts more interesting people.

Looking for Someone Else’s Profile

There may come a time when you want to find out if someone else has a dating app profile. Perhaps you’re afraid that your partner has put themselves up on a site. Or perhaps you’re just curious to see if your coworker has a profile. No matter the reason, if you want to find out if someone else has a dating app profile, it takes a bit of work.

You need their name, phone number, and email address to get started. Several sites, such as CheatBuster, Spokeo, and Social Catfish, use this information to search social media and dating sites for said individuals. These sites typically cost a nominal fee, but if you’re at the point of looking up certain people to see if they have a dating profile, then those few bucks are probably worth it to you.

Don’t want to pay? Go to the dating site itself and make a profile using the person’s email and phone number. Often, apps are connected to the phone using them. Putting in their phone number when prompted for a number lets you see if they have an account. 

If it doesn’t let you make an account because the number or email is already in use, then you know they have a profile on that site. This only tells you that they have had a profile on the site at one time or another. It doesn’t tell you if they are using it at the moment.

Another way is to make an account on those dating apps and actively search for them. However, this means that you now have the same connection to the dating site that they have, even if you don’t use it to catch dates.

If nothing else, see what makes a good profile and what doesn’t.

Looking at a dating app profile

Best Profile Practices

When creating a dating profile that’s sure to get a lot of attention, make sure to include good, tasteful photos of yourself. Be confident in your bio and don't be afraid to be honest. Tell the world all the wonderful things that make you you!

Put a call to action at the end of your bio to prompt your prospective dates to message you. This filters out those that aren't good matches and gets you the messages and dates you want.

You get tons of traction when your profile is up to par, so make that perfect profile to find the match of your dreams!

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