Passionate sex is often portrayed in the movies as two beautiful lovers lustfully ripping one another’s clothes off and engaging in wild, desire-fueled sex-and then orgasming at the same time, of course. In real life, sex is more complicated. It’s not always sexy, easy, or without its hiccups. Sex can sometimes be awkward, messy, and occasionally, bad. But that’s not to say sex can’t be good either. When two people have sexual chemistry, sparks fly, and orgasms come easy. Relationships often evolve from sexual chemistry as sex is an important part of keeping romance alive. But what happens when the passion fades? What if you and your partner experience a sexual rut in your sex life? Is there a way to bring back passionate sex into the bedroom?
How To Have Passionate Sex
Bringing sexual passion into the bedroom takes some effort. Romance novels would like you to believe the magic happens instantly, but that’s rarely the case. Sometimes the passion takes time to rise to the surface and that’s completely normal. Fortunately, there are ways you can get passionate feelings flowing. Many things take practice to get right, great sex is one of them. Keep reading for tips on how to have passionate sex with your partner to keep the romance alive.
Be Confident
Having passionate sex means letting all inhibitions go and being in the moment. It’s difficult to engage in passionate sex if you’re worried about how your body looks or your sexual performance. Insecurities in the bedroom can make sex feel more guarded or even awkward. It’s hard to be passionate and in the moment when you or your partner are in a different headspace. Research shows that women who feel self-conscious about their bodies report having less sexual satisfaction and are less likely to initiate sex. Men may also experience body image problems, though their sexual dissatisfaction is more likely to result from sexual performance anxiety. To have passionate sex with your partner, you need to get out of your head.
Learn to love your body, flaws, and all. Your partner loves you regardless of your flaws, it’s not like they haven’t seen you naked before. If your partner loves your body, then why shouldn’t you? Embrace your sexuality by embracing your body in the bedroom. And when it comes to sexual performance, remember that sex is not actually a performance. Passionate sex is about the love between you and your partner. Focus on the pleasure you and your partner are both experiencing, not how many crazy positions you can contort your body into. Thinking too much in the bedroom can lead to awkwardness and dissatisfaction. If you want to have passionate sex, you need to let yourself relax.
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Build a Deeper Connection Outside of the Bedroom
Having a passion for your partner is not the same as lust. Lust is pure physical attraction and is solely fueled by a desire to fulfill a sexual need. You can lust for someone you hardly know, simply because they look good. Passion, on the other hand, is fueled by much more than a desire to fulfill sexual needs. Passion comes from a deeper place of desire for one’s partner. To have passionate sex, two people must be in love. There must be a deeper connection that goes beyond the physical. If you and your partner are facing a lack of passionate sex in the bedroom, you may need to rebuild your connection. Long-term relationships have their ups and downs. It’s not uncommon for couples to experience a lack of a connection at certain times. Life throws us many obstacles and sometimes our personal life suffers due to other obligations. If you feel that you and your partner have lost touch recently, now may be the time to rekindle those special feelings. It’s important that you two make an effort to spend time with each other. Spending time together strengthens your bond with your partner. The more you talk, cuddle, and hang out together, the deeper a connection you will have. To have passionate sex, you must have a deep connection that is built outside of the bedroom.
Build Up to the Passion
Passionate sex begins before you and your partner get it on in the sheets. The key to passionate sex is all in the buildup before you and your partner get together in the bedroom. Light a spark in your relationship by reminding your partner what you love about them. Compliment them on their looks and remind them how sexy you find them. Don’t be shy about bringing up past sexy moments you and your partner shared (like having sex in your parents’ hot tub or the time you got it on, on the kitchen table). Build up their confidence by letting them know how much you want them. Both men and women feel the need to be desired equally, though men are often less likely to admit it. To make your partner want you, show them how much you want them. Do this by casually throwing compliments their way, flirtatiously grabbing their ass when you pass them in the hallway or even an occasional catcall. Your desire will bolster your partner’s confidence and in turn, make them feel more desire for you. Passion for one another is needed to have passionate sex.
Turn On the Sexy
Sometimes bringing more passion into the bedroom starts with a makeover. No, we are not suggesting going to drastic measures to look like an Instagram model for your significant other. But a new sexy dress and haircut can go a long way. Your partner loves the way you look with makeup, without makeup, in the morning when you wake up, or even when you’re hungover. But, we sometimes become so comfortable with our partner that we get too comfortable. When you want to reignite passionate sex in the bedroom, remind your partner of the sexy beast they fell in love with. Make more of an effort to dress up when they’re around. Buy a new dress, wear a sexy new perfume, or even give your partner a sexy striptease when they least expect it. Turning on the sexy will add an element of surprise to your relationship that it may have been lacking. Keeping the fire burning requires effort and sometimes that means wearing a top that shows off your awesome rack.
Experiment With Tantric Sex
Tantric sex is a sexual experience that builds a deeper connection with one’s partner. In tantric sex, the end goal is not necessarily orgasm. Tantric sex involves slow, rhythmic movements that give you and your partner a chance to connect on a more spiritual level. It aims to move sexual energy throughout the body that can have a healing or transformative effect on both partners. Passionate sex and tantric sex can easily lead to the other. Both passionate sex and tantric sex positions involve a deep trust in one’s partner. You’ll learn to take your time during slow sex and use that time to explore your partner’s body, learn what they like, and learn what you like in the process. Tantric sex aims to bring couples closer on a whole other level. If you feel like you and your partner are lacking in the passionate sex department, tantric sex may reignite your feelings for one another. To engage in tantric sex, choose sex positions that allow you and your partner to have the most skin-to-skin contact possible. Go slow and maintain eye contact. Don’t focus on performance or how quickly you can achieve orgasm. Instead, focus on what you are feeling in the moment, both physically and emotionally. Both physical and emotional connections are important for having passionate sex with your partner.
Set the Mood
Bringing passionate sex back into your sex life can be as simple as creating the right ambiance. The right mood can heighten the sexual experience by making two lovers feel more comfortable and relaxed. A little candlelight and clean sheets can go a long way to get it on. Your environment can put you in the mood or turn you off completely. There is nothing sexy about heaps of dirty clothes on the floor or bright fluorescent lighting. If a date tried to seal the deal in a bedroom that looked like that, you’d probably pass. However, put on some soft lighting, sexy music, and silky sheets, and suddenly, you’re rearing to go. Make more effort to set the mood in the bedroom the next time you and your partner have plans to get it on.
Dim the lights, pop the bubbly and let the ambiance do its job. Be sure to put the same effort into date night to get you in the mood before you and your partner hit the sheets. Pick a nice restaurant with a sexy atmosphere, or pack a bottle of wine to enjoy with your significant other at the park while you watch the sunset. The key to passionate sex is to create feelings of love and passion both in and outside the bedroom.
Try Out New Sex Positions
It’s easy to fall into a routine with your longtime partner that eventually becomes boring. Routine sex, though not necessarily bad, can start to feel monotonous. If you want to go from average sex to passionate sex, consider trying something new in the bedroom. Experimenting with different sex positions allows you and your partner to find new ways to feel pleasure. Changing up your routine in the bedroom will make sex feel more exciting. Instead of sticking to the same old thing, you will look forward to something new. The Kamasutra is an ancient Indian text that details dozens of exciting sex positions for you and your partner. Buy a copy or look up Kamasutra positions online with your partner and find positions you want to try. There is no guarantee you and your partner will love them but trying them out is half the fun. Experimenting with different sex positions can be a bonding experience for both of you, especially if you get a few laughs out of it. And who knows? You may stumble upon a sex position that rocks your world. Passionate sex is, after all, partly about being able to have fun with each other.
Get Kinky
Being comfortable with your partner is essential to having passionate sex. You and your partner should feel safe enough with one another to express and explore your sexual fantasies. If there is something you have always wanted to try with your partner but felt too shy to admit, now is the time to mention it. Exploring each other’s sexual kinks or desires can bring your sexual experience to a new level. It will be difficult to truly have passionate sex without being able to try things in the bedroom you want. Getting kinky between the sheets can strengthen your bond and improve your sex life. Take a moment to speak with your partner about your sexual desires. Be open with them about the things you would like to try and ask them to do the same. Make your partner feel comfortable opening up to you by assuring them you won’t judge them, no matter how wild their fantasies are (after all, they’re just fantasies). Decide together what you and your partner are both comfortable with trying, and then try it out. Being kinky can spice up your sex life and get you and your partner back to having the passionate sex you had at the start of your relationship.
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When To Address the Lack of Passion in Your Sex Life
Lack of passionate sex in the bedroom is a common problem amongst couples. Long-term relationships are more at risk of experiencing a dip in passion, but sometimes the passion is hard to find. Not having fantastic sex in the bedroom doesn’t necessarily mean you and your partner aren't for each other. Sex can be tricky. Understand that some people have difficulty expressing their sexuality because of religious or childhood experiences that taught them sex was shameful. Other times they may find sex difficult because of insecurities that hold them back from truly letting go. The good news is that you can work on increasing the sexual chemistry between you and your partner. The first step is to address your concerns by speaking to your partner. Tell them how you’re feeling and how you want to work on improving your sex life. Start by telling them what you like about your sex life, then mention what you believe is lacking. Bring them into the conversation by asking them how they feel about your sex life. You may find that they have the same concerns yet were too nervous about bringing them up. Next, discuss what the two of you can do to bring passionate sex back into the bedroom.
Don’t Jump to Conclusions.
It’s essential to be able to hear your partner’s concerns, even if it’s something you don’t want to hear. For example, don’t be upset if you ask your partner to be honest about your sex life, and they answer you honestly. They may tell you they dislike something you do in the bedroom, even though you were sure it was totally hot. Don’t become upset and take that to mean your partner criticizes you. It means that you and your partner need more communication in the bedroom to figure out what each of you needs. When both of you can have open and honest conversations about your sex life, you can work together to improve it. But if your partner is unwilling to work on having passionate sex, you may need to consider your relationship. If having passionate sex in your relationship is of utmost importance, you may need to find a new partner.
Conclusion
Passionate sex is not what you see in the movies, but that doesn’t mean sex shouldn’t rock your socks off. The key to having passionate sex is to be with a partner you love and trust. Sometimes people in a long-term committed relationship lose that spark and need to find ways to rekindle the fire. Trying new things in the bedroom and communicating with one another will help you identify your sexual needs. Sex is tricky and takes a lot of trial and error to get right. Bad sex doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed, not if you and your partner are willing to work through it together.
