Dating can be challenging as an ENFP. But what if there was a way to find someone who was the best match for you? Some are turning to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Test to help them find out the compatibility of their ENFP relationships.
Does it seem like you’re the only ENFP out here in the world? You’re not alone! 8% of the world’s population is ENFP. Famous ENFPs include: Sandra Bullock, Ellen Degeneres, Oscar Wild, and Mark Twain
About The Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment
The Myers-Briggs Personality Type (also referred to as the MBTI ®) is a test based on C.G. Jung’s theory. The quiz helps to classify a few things about you. It takes into account your personality, attitude, as well as rational and irrational functions.
Created by Isabel Myers and her mother, Katherine Briggs, the MBTI® is one of the most used personality tests, globally.
The ultimate goal is to help you understand yourself. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you make decisions based on feeling or intuition? Do you use judgment or perception when making day-to-day choices? Knowing these answers about yourself can help make it easier to find someone compatible with you.
Qualities To Look For In An ENFP Relationship
Some of the characteristics that describe you as an ENFP and what you want from ENFP relationships are that you’re an extrovert, connect with people quickly, are spontaneous, warm, and enthusiastic.
These are all great attributes unless you try to date someone who’s very withdrawn and rigid in their thinking, right?
You don’t need to find someone who does everything the way you do it or views the world exactly as you do. But you do want to find someone who, at their core, isn’t naturally in conflict with your personality type. You want to find someone to harmonize with, a natural simpatico of sorts.
Stressors
As with the great qualities of an ENFP personality, things can also negatively impact you within a relationship. Something that stresses out ENFP relationships can include thoughtlessness, feeling forced to make a decision, rudeness, pressure to commit, and distrust.
These areas can create extreme emotion and stress and cause you to over-worry and withdraw. Understanding how you may react and what the stressors are may help prevent the wrong pairing so you can focus on being the best you.
Potential Bad Matches
A few personality types that aren’t the most suitable for ENFP relationships would be folks who are not open-minded, can’t look towards the future, aren’t spontaneous, are realists, highly analytical, and not the best at dealing with their emotions. So, what are those types? ESTJs, ESTPs, ISTPs and ISFJs.
ESTJs
The ESTJ personality type is very goal-driven, focused, organized, read, and is willing to do what’s needed to obtain that goal. They’re busy climbing the ladders while others are stopping to smell the flowers.
They’re so focused on their goals that they may not see or care about the people ESTJs interact with, as those feelings can veer them away from the very purpose they’re trying to achieve.
This specific personality type can be highly emotional and domineering during stressful situations. Much of these traits make for a poor match with regards to ENFP relationships.
ESTPs
ESTPs are highly motivated people and extroverted, much in the same way ENFPs are. They’re fixers of sorts, wanting to analyze and solve the problem but not the best at communication. A lot of ESTPs focus is on the situation at the moment and how they can solve it. ESTPs don’t necessarily see the more significant issues that need to be dealt with in life and have trouble focusing on ENFP relationships.
ISTPs
This ISTP personality is an introverted, analytical, logical, and practical personality that keeps a calm head. These can be great qualities that wouldn’t be beneficial in an ENFP relationship. They’re independent thinkers and aren’t looking for feedback. They may get irritated when forced into extraverted activities and feeling like they’re losing their independence. A relationship could be disastrous in ENFP relationships.
ISFJs
ISFJ personalities are very responsible and loyal, love helping and serving others, and are people pleasers. They have a fear of speaking up for themselves to make others happy.
The ISFJ enjoys a sense of belonging and community and would likely do well in social settings even though they fall into the introverted category. They don’t care for last-minute changes, which can take away from the spontaneity that the ENFP enjoys, making ENFP relationships difficult for them. When an ISFJ has conflicts, they often become accusatory, think the worst, and shut down.
Incompatible Qualities
Every person’s personality traits aren’t a fit to be in ENFP relationships, and that’s okay. You want to understand what those are so you can steer clear of them.
Criticism
Communication can be positive and negative, and while you don’t always need the world to be rainbows and butterflies, having the negative Nancy around isn’t fun. But being in a relationship with that person could be genuinely problematic in ENFP relationships. While you enjoy affirmation and compliments, the person who feels the need to give criticism or says what’s on their mind can create what feels like a toxic relationship.
The Rigid Routine
Life is full of adventures, and in ENFP relationships, you want to experience them. Being in a relationship with a person who feels like every day should be like the last day isn’t a match. ENFPs are full of life, are imaginative, and want to see what life has to offer.
Spontaneity is essential, and it keeps life exciting, after all. That person who wakes up at five o’clock, eats lunch at noon, and is in bed by eight may not be a match. There’s nothing wrong with personalities such as the ENTJ, who may bring a little structure but too much structure that hampers your imagination and zest for life won’t be a good thing for ENFP relationships.
The Introvert
Introverts draw their energy internally, don’t necessarily thrive on collaborative communication, and are sometimes viewed as withdrawn. That can create communication problems in ENFP relationships, which thrive on being collaborative and enjoy getting to know people, what makes them tick, and figuring out how you can inspire them to new heights.
While we’re talking about dating and ENFP relationships, thinking about the future, and how this plays out into parenthood is likely something you want to consider. Introverts are usually very self-aware, may seem to communicate better via text and email vs. on the phone or in person, don’t thrive in social situations, and have a few critical friendships in their somewhat small circle.
Introverted personality types are ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, INTJ, ISTP, ISFP, INFP, INTP.
Types Of Introverts
There are varying types of introverts. A social introvert is a person who likes small, intimate groups instead of crowds. They wouldn’t mind getting together with a few friends on the weekend and going to a movie or playing games, but going to the club, sporting events, or amusement parks may be asking a bit too much.
The other types of introverts speak to where the person draws their energy from, how they think and work, and anxieties that may come into play in public or social settings. It’s essential to not group introverts into one group as what impacts ENFP relationships the most is introversion in social settings.
Thinking introverts are people who are thinkers and have creative imaginations. They usually prefer to think independently rather than in a group setting or meetings. Generally, they want to summarize their thoughts and then discuss them.
Anxious introverts are people who choose to be alone as they feel awkward in social surroundings. This group doesn’t necessarily want to be alone, but the anxiety prevents them from being in group settings.
Restrained/inhibited introverts, generally, are not going to be spontaneous and want to think before making decisions. Being a restrained introvert is not tied to being a social introvert.
Does that mean you can’t have ENFP relationships with these personality types? No, but it does mean that you’ll likely find friction in various areas of life that will strain the relationship. If you look back at previous relationships that didn’t work out, you’ll likely find that the abovementioned areas were points of contention.
Common Threads
When thinking about ENFP relationships, you want to find common threads. Let’s look at some areas of life and which MBTI® types would make a great match.
Things such as communications, socializing, and values on relationships can be common threads that allow you to connect with someone and create a bond that could last a lifetime. Have you been in a relationship with someone who cannot effectively communicate? Where your significant other wanted to always stay in and watch movies rather than be around friends? Or they were just fine sitting for hours without saying a word; then you’ve been in poor ENFP relationships. You may have asked yourself, “Is it me?” But it wasn’t; it just wasn’t a match.
If things that come most naturally to you align with your partner, it makes other small nuances seem moot.
Socializing
As an ENFP, you want to find a partner who feels comfortable socializing—someone who feels confident in their skin and enjoys being around people.
One of the things you need to think about is how social you are. Are you going out every night after work, meeting up with co-workers and friends? Do you take trips out of town or out of the country with friends and family? If you genuinely derive energy from being around others, then you’ll want to seek someone who does the same such as ENTPs, ENFPs, and ENFJs.
ENFJs have a lot of energy, are forward-thinking, and have a positive outlook on life. They’re charismatic and people-centric; this could be an excellent counterpart for you as they’re energized by spending time with others and have great empathy for others.
On the other side of the coin, ENFJs are sometimes unrealistic by spreading themselves too thin trying to help others.
ENFJs are looking for the perfect relationship, and they set their standards high. They’re willing to put themselves out there in the dating world and often make the first move; they’re ready to kiss many frogs to find the right one. They’re on the hunt to find that special one, and when they fall in love, they love hard. They have also seen a lot of rejection.
Communication
Deep conversations are a significant part of ENFP relationships. Being able to be open and have conversations about your feelings, and receive affirmation while giving and receiving support.
They say opposites attract, but under the communication umbrella, you may want to find someone who can easily communicate, share their thoughts and feelings, and not struggle to openly share information about themselves.
One personality that would be a good match here is the ENTP. They enjoy communicating, have excellent communication skills, and don’t take themselves too seriously. They’re quick-witted, open-minded, friendly, and charming. People like Steve Jobs, John Stuart, and Leonardo da Vinci are all ENTPs.
Meaningful communication is also key to ENFJs and INTJs. If you’re looking to connect with someone who values communication and is equally social and enthusiastic, you may find they’re a good match for you.
Relationships
ENFP relationships thrive on commitment and enjoy giving and receiving attention. You understand your feelings and emotions, want to find someone who enjoys being in a committed relationship, and understands the work needed to make a relationship successful, including deep communication, spontaneity, consideration of feelings, and being emotionally aware.
It’s essential to find someone who wants the same thing out of a relationship as you do. The time you invest needs to be reciprocated, especially in ENFP relationships. If you’re the only person putting in the work, it will quickly take a toll on not only the relationship but most likely many aspects of your life as well.
INFPs could be a good match here. They want to make connections on a deeper level. They want to be around people who’re sensitive and thoughtful. They’re not the social butterfly and maybe a little more introverted, but they may be just what you’re looking for in nurturing, caring ENFP relationships.
ENJFs would also do well in ENFP relationships as they’re good communicators and have a wealth of empathy which helps a good relationship thrive. Compassion and seeing the other side of things are critical to a healthy relationship, and having someone who naturally has these tendencies can be a plus.
Potential Good Matches
We’ve identified the potential bad matches for ENFP relationships, and we’ve pulled out some of the good qualities of other personality types. The most compatible personality types for ENFP relationships are INFJ and INTJ.
The two personalities have similar traits that complement the ENFP personality, including their warm and friendly demeanor, open communication, relationship focus, sensitivity, and good communication skills.
On the other side, these two personality traits can change you and help you grow as an individual. From helping you to think of and achieve long-term goals to finding solutions to long-term problems.
INFJs
Some of the great qualities about the INFJ personality type are that they’re warm by nature, dedicated in relationships, sensitive, and have good communication skills. They seek lifelong relationships and are excellent listeners. While they’re not perfect, the commonalities would be complimentary.
Some complications that could arise in ENFP relationships with an INTJ is that they tend not to be completely open. In an ENFP relationship, you want to have those deep, vulnerable conversations. Another issue is that they have an extreme dislike for conflict. As with any relationship, conflict can and will occur. It may be challenging to work through problems if someone evades all confrontation.
INTJs
This personality type would be a good match for ENFP relationships. INTJs like their independence but are very loyal in a relationship. They can be supportive and focused on helping to make the relationship work. They work to improve themselves and encourage their partners to do the same. They don’t necessarily wear their emotions on their sleeve but are willing to put in the work to make a relationship last.
One of the issues that may arise in ENFP relationships with INTJs is that their communication style can seem direct. Short or direct communication can feel cold and can come across as criticism, ultimately a communication barrier. To improve communication with an INTJ, you’ll want to ensure that you express how you feel and how their words make you feel.
INFPs
The INFP personality is a good match for an ENFP INFP relationship. They are the believers in true love. They’ve been waiting for that perfect person to come along. They’ll want to find their soulmate. The ENFP INFP relationship may be different because they may have had this picture of what that perfect person would be like and how their INFP relationship would look. They may constantly be comparing what they thought it would be like to what it is.
The ENFP INFP relationship can be harmonious if it is not rushed into. INFPs are considered mediators. They are introverted and intuitive. Often, they are on the quiet side while they sit and imagine. They are creative and you can oftentimes find them daydreaming. These are positive traits for an ENFP INFP relationship.
One of the strengths that you may find is that INFPs are empathetic. They can connect with people through their feelings. This is perfect for an ENFP INFP relationship because ENFPs want to make deep connections and the INFP is thoughtful, unassuming, and kindhearted.
Another strength that you may enjoy in an ENFP INFP relationship is that they are open-minded and do not judge. This allows you to be yourself, share, and not worry about being shut down. As an ENFP, communication is key and the connection that can be created in an ENFP INFP relationship may be meaningful.
In an ENFP INFP relationship, you may find that the INFP judges themselves too harshly. This is where support from you may be important and help the INFP to balance this out, helping them to see all that they have to offer.
You may also find that the INFP may want to please you rather than worry about themselves too much. All relationships including an ENFP INFP relationship need a good balance, so it will be important to ask them about their feelings and what they want and enjoy.
A benefit to an ENFP INFP relationship is that the INFP is a hopeless romantic. Want to come home to fresh flowers on the table and a home-cooked meal? A night out on the town and candlelight dinner? Then an INFP is for you. The wonderful imagination and creativity of an INFP can keep the spark lit in an ENFP INFP relationship.
You won’t have to worry about loyalty with an INFP. Loyalty, devotion, and passion are key qualities that you will love in an ENFP INFP relationship. Together, you can help grow and strengthen a relationship that can last a lifetime.
Late-night arguing and bickering are not a part of an ENFP INFP relationship. INFPs are harmonious. They are not looking to always have their way, they have no interest in conflict and focus on ensuring building a happy, healthy relationship.
Always keeping open communication; encouraging an INFP to communicate openly is another key element to a healthy ENFP INFP relationship. With the INFP being a people pleaser personality, they can frequently keep things inside and not share them to make their partner happy.
Have goals, wishes, and dreams you want to achieve? The INFP is extremely supportive and can help you to improve your life. You’ll want to ensure that in the ENFP INFP relationship that they don’t only focus on you but also reach their full potential and do not forsake their hopes and dreams to support yours.
As a social butterfly, you may find that your INFP mate is just fine staying in. But in a supportive ENFP INFP relationship, your introverted lover can let go of their insecurities and enjoy time out among friends. Their ability to offer empathy is great for any ENFP INFP relationship and your social connections and friends will help prevent them from being lonely and feeling disconnected.
INFPs do enjoy spending meaningful quality time, so they would welcome the time with your circle of friends. this will help you in the ENFP INFP relationship. They don’t always easily make new friends but with your help, they can find new relationships and feel more fulfilled.
Even if you decide not to have an ENFP INFP relationship, you may want to seek out some INFPs as friends. They are the types of friends that you will have forever. They value quality, long-lasting friendships. But if you do, you know that with two compassionate, empathetic, loyal people, an ENFP INFP relationship can succeed.
How To Use This Information
Using the information about your personality type and the types of people you are potentially going to date can help you understand them a little deeper, understand their behaviors, derive their energy, and determine which ENFP relationships are right for you. It can also help you respect the differences and where potential breaks in communication may be so you can overcome them.
People are intrinsically different, and that is okay. Learning the differences and how to overcome barriers can mean the difference between good and bad relationships. No matter what personality type you choose, ensure you select someone who creates happy, healthy ENFP relationships.
