Every couple that has been together for an extended period believes that they know everything about their spouse. The fun, flirtatious, and even profound discussions have all but disappeared, and you find yourself sitting in silence on your date night, daydreaming of the days when you were still getting to know each other. Does this sound familiar? If so, don’t fret. There’s always more to learn about your partner, whether you have been married for 50 minutes or 50 years. All it takes is a little time and a little imagination. Here are some great conversation starters for married couples.
1. What are the dreams and goals that you’ve had to put on the back burner? How can we bring them to life?
One of the most rewarding aspects of being in a relationship is having someone to discuss your goals and dreams. Because the other person listens and supports those aspirations and dreams, each individual in a good marriage or relationship feels free to be honest and express their dreams without fear of being judged. Having permission to express your dreams can help them begin to seem more realistic. Having discussions about your future and your goals helps you and your spouse connect over the future while still being tuned in to what is currently going on in your life. This focus on the future and the present makes this topic one of our favorite conversation starters for married couples. Not only does talking about your dreams and goals help you connect, but it also helps you plan for how much money you’ll need to save or if you need to take other measures to achieve your future goals.
2. What frightens you most in your life? Has it changed since you were a kid at all?
You should always be willing to talk about your innermost worries and anxieties with your spouse, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Open communication is essential to have a solid and loving relationship since it implies having someone to lean on when feeling sad and weak. Being truthful about your anxieties can help you bond with your spouse. Being honest and vulnerable about your fears or worries is an excellent way to build trust and get to know one another on a much deeper level, which makes this one of the best conversation starters for couples. Plus, it can help you work through your fears and find a way to address them without having to live in a state of worry or anxiety.
3. Let’s talk about money.
Money might not seem like one of the best conversation starters for couples, but it is critical to talk about this subject in a mature and rational way. It’s very easy to fight over money, but in a strong and functional relationship, you and your spouse should be able to discuss this topic without it turning into a shouting match. Even happy couples may not always agree on money, particularly if money is tight, but they can still speak calmly and make logical choices together.
It’s important to be honest and not hide or hoard money. When you are creating a life together, you must be honest about financial matters because they impact your lives in almost every way. It’s important to talk about savings goals, budgeting, retirement plans, and major purchases together. You can even tie a money talk into a talk about your future goals! After all, most of our goals will have to involve money in one way or another.
4. What’s the hottest memory you have of us?
We Americans are awkward when it comes to having meaningful discussions about sex, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important. Talking about your sex life is a great thing to do to keep your marriage happy and on track. Check in with your partner: are they happy with your sex life? What are their likes and dislikes? Talking about the hottest memory can be a great way to get ideas for new things to try or even just to spark an evening of intimate fun. Talking about sex can also help couples keep their sex lives active, passionate, and fun. Our bodies and minds have changed and evolved since we got married, and it makes sense that our sex life should change and evolve too. Bringing up your hottest memory is a great way to segue into a talk about sex, and that makes it one of our favorite conversation starters for married couples.
5. Do you think that political campaigns spend an excessive amount of money?
Happy couples realize that talking about politics is essential – even if they disagree – so that they can understand each other properly. It is through these conversations that we may discover what is truly important to the other person. Politics doesn’t have to be Red Team vs. Blue Team, and it doesn’t have to be as acrimonious and spiteful as it is often portrayed in the media. Even if you disagree with one another, talking about politics is a good way to explore values: why does your partner feel this way about certain issues? What core values or moral ideas are they expressing with a political idea? These topics are hard to launch into out of the blue, but a talk about campaign spending is something that is benign, and an easy introduction to a more detailed political chat as most Americans agree that there is way too much spending in political campaigns.
6. What is your favorite memory from our dating days?
The time before marriage is different. You probably spent some time before marriage living in different homes or even in different towns. Dating is just the beginning, and it takes place in a different context. Your dating life was likely very different from your married life. What do you miss about dating your spouse? What were your favorite dates? What are things you miss about dating that your spouse could bring back for you? Talking about your best dates is one of the best conversation starters for married couples: reliving your past can help you discern how best to build your future.
7. What is the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
In a marriage or a committed relationship, we know each other very well. But your partner might be holding some surprises in store. Talking about our adventures is a fun way to relive memories and to get ideas for new things to do together. Maybe your spouse took a road trip across America, or maybe they went skydiving or whitewater rafting. Maybe they spontaneously took a trip abroad, hiked a challenging trail, or had a big adventure in their youth. Talking about the adventurous things you’ve done can be fun and inspiring, making this one of the best conversation starters for couples.
8. How are your parents doing?
The in-laws are the butt of many jokes. We often experience some degree of conflict with our in-laws: after all, we arrived in their child’s life and became a major part of their family, and it takes a long time to build trust and relationships. Your spouse, however, has known their parents forever and has a very different relationship with them. Talking about your families can be a great way to bond and make conversations, plus it can help improve your relationship with your in-laws by keeping you up to speed on their lives.
9. Who would play you in a movie?
Conversation starters for couples don’t all have to be heavyweight topics. A fun and light conversation can be talking about who would play you in the movie of your life! It doesn’t have to be based on appearance alone, either: some actors have a naturally funny way about them, while others are more brooding or bubblier. You can even ask them who they think should play you. Silly as it sounds, you can have great conversations with lighthearted prompts like this.
10. How is your spiritual life?
Even in a strong relationship, we might keep certain parts of our spirituality private. Even in religious families that pray together and attend religious services together, people in the family are going to have varied experiences, opinions, and ideas about God, the universe, life, and the human spirit. Having a meaningful and deep conversation with your partner about religion is a great way to connect and share spiritual ideas. Even if you disagree with one another, you should be able to have a respectful and dignified conversation about your religious or spiritual beliefs with your spouse.
11. Would you survive a zombie apocalypse?
This topic is not one of the most listed conversation starters for couples, but it is a great subject to chat about. American culture had a ‘zombie moment’ in the early 2000s and 2010s. Zombie shows, books, survival guides, video games, and movies were super popular during this time and remain so today. Talking about whether or how you would survive in a zombie apocalypse is a fun and lighthearted way to connect. Conversations don’t always have to be deep and meaningful!Marriage is about spending your lifetimes together, and that means engaging with one another in playful and silly ways from time to time. There’s no better way to do that than to have a long chat about something offbeat like the zombie apocalypse.