10 Erotic Spanking Tips for Beginners

Man spanking woman on butt with whip

What is Erotic Spanking?

Let's break down what Erotic Spanking actually is before leaping into how to bring it into your bedroom (or bathroom, or kitchen, or maybe outdoors??). Wherever you and your partner are the most sensual, we got you!

In essence, erotic really just means sexual. Merriam Webster gives the definition as:

  1. "Of, devoted to, or tending to arouse sexual love or desire"

  2. "Strongly marked or affected by sexual desire"

It's essential to know the definition of Erotic in order to fully grasp the concept of Erotic Spanking. Erotic spanking is simply the act of spanking for sexual arousal. In most cases, both parties benefit from this action. Depending on the partners, the severity and intensity will differ vastly. It's crucial to understand that what happened in one relationship with a partner won't necessarily be what happens in the next with another partner.

Old black and white image of man holding a woman over his lap and spanking her

Where Did It All Start?

Erotic spanking isn't something that just randomly appeared in the past few decades; this is something that has happened for centuries before our existence was even thought of. According to Wikipedia, the earliest known erotic spanking that was documented was in the pre-19th century. Inside tombs, pictures have been discovered of different sexual acts (so scandalous!). These photos have helped researchers to understand relationships in the past.

The Tomb of the Whipping, which is found in Italy, shows a drawing of an erotic situation. In this drawing, there are two men and one woman, one of the men is whipping the woman. The image shows us that no matter what's actually happening in this picture, erotic sexual interactions are nothing new. It's important to value these moments as something vulnerable and special.

Throughout the 20th century, there has been a variety of different literature that spoke about erotic spanking, bringing it into the life of everyday people, especially during what's considered the "Golden Age of Erotic Spanking". According to Wikipedia, there were three different components that spread the word of Erotic Spanking.

Smut for Everyone!

Following the Industrial Revolution, the 20th century was a powerhouse of many different new discoveries. The print was definitely a top necessity at this point. This also meant that availability was much more readily available for ordinary people. Therefore, more Erotic spanking books or articles were able to be printed for less money. This, in turn, meant that citizens leveled in different classes were able to get their hands on them.

A Picture Speaks a Thousand (Dirty) Words

Books and magazines in the early 20th century were now even including photographs! Meaning that there were widespread different erotic sexual behaviors that were found throughout other novels. It also provides readers with photos for easy replication of the erotic acts. In turn, giving readers that satisfaction of sensual pain that we'll get more into later.

Legs Weren't The Only Things Spreading

Publication levels of Erotic Spanking material hit an all-time high during the early 20th century. Spreading all over, originating in France.

Don't forget to include the French citizens of the 20th century in your gratitudes, because they created much of the literature and photographs that brought Erotic Spanking into the light.

Throughout the late 20th century there were a variety of different videos published, along with magazines and much more; "As an extension of the earlier developments within spanking literature, during this period various fetish magazines devoted to stories and imagery of erotic spanking became legally available." This then brings us to the 21st century and well, this is it. Compromised of different websites and blogs legally available, Erotic Spanking is no stranger. It is also widely used throughout a variety of cultures. With the proper precautions and techniques, it's a no harm, no foul game.

The Craving of Pain and Pleasure Explained

In most cases, even the most innocent lovers have dabbled a bit in an erotic sexual experience. Even if it was just a bite that was a bit harder than anticipated but got a very attractive reaction out of their partner. Maybe your intuition took over and you gave your partner a little spank and they liked it and, shocker, you liked it too. Whatever happened to get you to this article was totally worth it.

Getting spanked is an experience that varies so much; there's literally something for everyone. So, the question is, why does one crave pain in order to get sexual arousal? There are actually so many different things happening during these sexual times other than just sexual tension. Obviously, at the moment, the focus isn't on the chemicals inside your brain, but the reality is that those chemicals are getting seriously mixed up, and they're not complaining about it.

Here are a few things that are happening inside your brain that are helping you enjoy the erotic behavior:


According to Medical News Today, "Endorphins are chemicals produced by the body to relieve stress and pain. They work similarly to a class of drugs called opioids". I'm sure at some point in your life you've known someone who has had to take opioids, and one thing that is a certain fact about Opioids is they're addictive. And, if we're being honest here, so is Erotic Spanking, but unlike opioids, spanking is all the good kinds of addictive (as long as you follow the rules).

Endorphins help to relieve pain, meaning that once these are released throughout the body, your pain tolerance actually increases. Therefore, if you or your partner are nervous about Erotic Spanking, it's essential to keep in mind that the body should provide you with what you need. Your body is literally designed to initiate your opiate receptors during times like this. Once those Opioid Receptors take flight, your body will enter a whole new feeling of sensation.

man holding hands on female sexy buttocks of young woman with slim body and legs with bare back in lingerie on dark background

Changes in Blood Flow

There are tons of different receptors found hiding within the skin. This means that the flow of blood in the body is going to go all sorts of crazy. Ultimately causing it to change when entering and leaving the brain. This actually has quite a significant effect depending on your role in the sexy spanking play. Medical Daily tells us, "Sexual enjoyment from the giving or receiving point alters blood flow in the brain leading to a feeling of living 'in the here and now' reducing anxiety."  With that in mind, there's absolutely nothing wrong with a little Erotic Sexual play, in fact, it's highly suggested for overall brain health.

Stress Levels

Spanking has been connected to lowering levels of Cortisol in the brain. How cool is that? The best part about a drop in Cortisol is the fact that your body then becomes more relaxed, making sex that much more enjoyable. "The hormone Cortisol drops. This decrease in cortisol reduces stress and promotes relaxation and we all know a relaxed state makes for better orgasms." So, let the tension go and just enjoy the intimacy.

What's So Intimate About an Ass?

Let's chat a little bit about butts. During sex or any sexual act, the derrière (yes, we're staying classy here, folks) should never be under or overlooked. That peach is a very sexual part of the body. I'm sure everyone reading this can picture a luscious rump that has seriously turned them on in the past.

It's learned from an early age that butts are considered "private parts". There isn't really an age where it's ever okay to show your ass or for someone to touch it, making it all the more exciting as an adult. According to Slate, "Nerve tracts that pass through the lower spine carry sensory information to and from the butt and genitals. Scientists speculate that these nerves can stimulate one region when the other is provoked" This gives the notion that all of our private sexual parts are connected in some way or another.

Overall, it might not necessarily be the act of spanking itself that is such a turn-on, but rather, the feeling that hits deep inside our brains. Not only spanking your bare bottom but also sending those sensations through the nerves, sending it straight to the brain can really be turned on all by itself. It just feels good! So enjoy it and use these ten tips to get the most out of your erotic spanking experience.

Top Ten Erotic Spanking Tips

1. Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay

Spanking is an excellent introduction to some foreplay! Before you even enter the bedroom, add in some ass spanking and get your significant other turned on quickly.

Make sure to spank in the center of a cheek. This is where you'll hit the most nerves and send a sensation through your lover's entire body. We all know how sensitive the connection the anus has in sexual interactions; "The pudendal nerve sends sensations from your genitals and anus to your brain." Therefore, just the vibration of spanking can really get that started for great sexual interaction.

tattooed man kissing the neck of a woman

2. Pick the Best Clothing

Clothing can really make or break your spanking experience. Spankees and spankers can definitely choose from a variety of options out there, but one of the best is the OG, totally naked option. This will give more sensation straight up to the genitals and brain, but it might be more of a tease to either stay fully clothes or introduce some special spanking outfits. Lingerie can seriously spice things up in the bedroom. The sex experts have literally designed lingerie to turn you and your partner on; "It is created with the purpose of flattering your most sensual areas." In the case of special spanking outfits, you can imagine how sexy your tush is going to look and, along with that, how sexy you're going to feel.

One perk to wearing that special spanking outfit is the feeling of desire and sexiness that is found rooted deep inside. With these extra feelings of being wanted and feeling sexy, women are more likely to be relaxed and reach climax; "Women in the study who regularly reached orgasm during sex reported having more erotic thoughts when they were having intercourse than those who did not have orgasms regularly during sex." So, all in all, it might be essential to have that sexy spanking outfit and really be able to get into that erotic state of mind.

3. Hand or Spanking Tool?

There is definitely a significant difference between one choosing to use the hand and introducing a spanking tool or sex toy. And it all really depends on the couple and the intensity of each spanking fantasy.

With the hand, spankers get to be strongly involved and feel the tingly sensation that comes along with spanking. They also get to feel more in control and can add in that extra ass grab when necessary. The ass grab can give a little different turn on; "Try to get your fingertips in the cleft (a.k.a. the crack) . . . The nerves in the cleft are connected to the genitals, making this a very erotically sensitive part of your derriere." On the other hand, though, using spanking tools can be just as much of a turn-on. Spanking tools can impact a larger area of space and really spice up the sex. It's also fun to use a variety of different devices, before investing in an expensive tool, just stick to things you can find around the house (like the personal favorite… the hairbrush or the wooden spoon). You can even try adding in a paddle or spanking bench for maximum pleasure and a different sensation.

4. Add in Some Bondage

Bondage can be a great addition to any sexual bedroom encounter. Whether you're ready to go full-on BDSM or you just want to spice things up, try out some bondage during your spanking experiences. You can either use something simple like zip ties, or go all out with special bondage lingerie. Adding any type of restraint can really spice things up and make for an excellent spanking experience.

 Submissive girl in bondage and man's hand with spanking prepare for punishment.

Make It Happen

  1. Adjustable Handcuffs Wrist Ankle Bracelets
    $13.88 ($13.88 / Count)

    by RYOZOCH 

    Buy on Amazon

    We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.

    12/02/2023 06:46 pm GMT
  2. Adjustable Handcuffs Wrist Ankle Bracelets
    $12.88 ($12.88 / Count)

    by RYOZOCH 

    Buy on Amazon

    We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.

    12/02/2023 06:41 pm GMT

5. Role-Play

Role-play can be super fun and exciting. Sex is often a whole different realm of the relationship, therefore, why not take it even one step further. Explore your partner's wildest fantasies and play around with a little role-play. 

6. Choose a Safeword

Alright, now that we've chatted about the different options to spice your spanking techniques up, let's get into keeping it a safe and overall good experience. The number one piece of advice to give is to choose a safeword. Safewords provide a level of confidence and trust that is hard to find elsewhere. "No one wants to push the limits with their partner, and no one wants to hurt someone without knowing it . . . a safe word can build trust in your relationship and give you both confidence." So, don't skip this step, even if you never use the word, it's important to know it's there in the back of your mind. You can either keep it simple or make it something jarring. Anything to pump the breaks in the heat of the moment. 

7. Experiment

If you and/or your partner are new to this, then it's super important to experiment with different sensations. Talk about what sensations feel the best for both of you! This is the perfect time to add in some other spanking tools like maybe even a cane or a common favorite, something leather. See how you and your partner feel about them. It can't hurt to experiment with different sensations and feelings, especially if you listened to us and thought of a safeword. Did you do that? If not, NOW IS THE TIME.

woman in red lingere lying across the lap of a man in a suit, his hand on her ass

8. Don't Leave Anything Out

Spank all of the areas of the bare bottom. Each one is connected to different sensations throughout the body. It's important to test them all out, try everything, and see how your partner feels about it.

Along with getting every inch of that butt cheek, it's essential to find the different parts of your hand that feel good. Of course, using the bare hand is the best option, but focusing on sending the most significant impact through the palm is the best plan. Cosmopolitan says, "The palm of the hand is fleshier, creates a thudded impact, and generates a loud noise. Impacting with fingers creates more of a sting and can be used to tap different regions of the butt". Mmm, doesn't that just sound amazing?

9. Rub It Up

Obviously, spanking can get a little bit overwhelming at times. This is why it's so important to have a safeword, but there are other options of trying to elongate the spanking time you and your partner both enjoy. After a hard spank, rub that juicy, reddened flesh. Increase blood flow and help to keep your partner's pain tolerance up. Start with light spanking and plenty of rubbing until you and your partner are more comfortable.

bare butt check with a red mark on it as if having been struck

10. Set Boundaries

Last but ABSOLUTELY not least, set boundaries! Setting boundaries can honestly be the make or break of a successful sexual experience. No matter what those boundaries are, it's important to set them and stick to them. If your partner doesn't want anything stuck in their ass, then it's important NOT TO STICK ANYTHING IN IT. Yes, we know it gets slippery back there, but control yourself. On the other hand though, if your partner wants to try a butt plug, then have some fun with that too! Eventually, you might even want to try out some anal beads. 

A little caveat: It's fine to get freaky with what you shove up there, but stick to sex toys. Many a health professional can attest that shoving non-sex toy items up your ass can make for an uncomfortable (in more ways than one) ER trip. 

Respecting the boundaries set by both the spanker and the spankee is vital to a healthy relationship and sex life. Trusting each other in your most vulnerable states will, undoubtedly, help you to trust each other in other realms of the relationship as well.

The Final Impact

Overall, erotic spanking is both a sexual and intimate act. It has been around since even the earliest centuries and is no stranger to our current generation. With a variety of different ways to learn, experiment, and just overall get into spanking, it's a no-brainer to give it a shot. The most important lesson though is to make sure to discuss boundaries and keep everything happy and comfortable. As long as everyone feels good, there should be absolutely no regrets about following these top tips for beginners. Happy spanking!

Was this article helpful?

About Zeen

Power your creative ideas with pixel-perfect design and cutting-edge technology. Create your beautiful website with Zeen now.