Kinky porn is a difficult subject. Some people love it, and some hate it. Some have no problem with it, while others think it’s the devil’s work. Porn can be one or all of these things simultaneously. There are a lot of unsettling aspects of porn, but there are just as many misconceptions. Like any industry, it’s rife with corruption and bad apples. But it also has plenty of good people working in it who want to make fun films to help adults get off. Regardless, if you’re reading this article, you’re curious about what watching porn can do for your relationship. The good news is that it can do quite a lot of good. That’s if you know what you’re doing.
Read on to learn more about what kinky porn can do for your relationship and how to go about it safely.
Porn and Relationships
Is porn good for relationships? The answer to this question depends on who you ask. The overwhelming consensus points to porn having a negative effect on both individuals and their relationships. Porn addiction is real. Excessive porn use can rewire your brain. When you become addicted to something, it becomes a central focus in your life. You turn to it to cope with stress when you’re bored or lacking fulfilling relationships. In turn, porn addiction can lead to unfulfilling relationships. Porn addiction has a plethora of negative side effects. Some of the most common negative effects include lack of sexual desire, impotence, lack or inability to feel intimacy, lack of empathy, and unrealistic expectations of sex and women’s bodies.
But Is There a Balance?
Porn gets a bad reputation for a good reason. But is it all bad? Well, it depends on who’s watching and how they use it. Experts say there is a balance when it comes to watching porn. If you and your partner are both mentally stable, there is a lower likelihood that you will develop a porn addiction. You should also understand that porn is fantasy. Porn does not imitate real life or real sex. It can be fun and visually stimulating to watch, but you should be able to distinguish between fiction and reality. If you and your partner use porn wisely, it’s not likely to become an issue. However, if you begin to rely more heavily on porn, you should reconsider your watching habits.
Why Kinky Porn Isn’t Always Bad for Relationships
Porn isn’t always bad for relationships. Again, if you and your partner are both on the same page as far as what you expect from porn, it’s a non-issue. Porn can be a fun, sexy activity for you and your partner to do together to get you “in the mood.” Kinky porn is a porn genre that explores the various kinks or taboo sex acts (think BDSM, role-playing, dominatrix, etc.). Kinky porn explores sex acts that you and your partner might not know. A lot of kinky porn is unrealistic, even silly. But that’s what adds to the fantasy. Curious about introducing kinky porn into your relationship? Keep reading to learn why kinky porn isn’t always bad for relationships and how it may even make your sex life better.
Kinky Porn Can Help You Learn About Yourself and Your Partner
Kinky porn, or just porn in general, can be educational. You and your partner can learn different sex positions or methods for getting each other off. It can help open up communication between you and your partner to share your likes and dislikes. While watching porn together, you can point out things you want to try. It gives you a visual aid to show your partner how you want to be touched. Kinky porn inspires you to try new things (a.k.a. all that kinky sex you're seeing), especially when you don’t know what you like. Overall, it makes you more receptive to talking about sex and what you want to get out of it.
Kinky Porn Boosts Desire
Too much porn use links to less sexual desire and impotence in men. But kinky porn watched in moderation can increase sex drive, particularly right before sex with your partner. Watching other people have sex is exciting because it's taboo. It also acts as a visual stimulant and a sexy soundtrack to your lovemaking. Couples who like watching kinky porn together may agree that it can spice up their sex life and bring something new. When watched together, kinky porn can be helpful rather than harmful. You can both get turned on together and watch things you both enjoy. It can relax the mood and make you more receptive to trying new things in bed. Kinky porn used as an aid in your sex life can increase your sexual desire and improve your sex life.
Kinky Porn Can Be Freeing
A lot of people have a difficult time expressing their sexuality. Many of us grow up thinking of sex as something shameful or immoral. Especially when it comes to trying new things outside of the norm. Feeling shameful about our sexual desires can inhibit our sexual pleasure. Watching kinky porn with your partner can open you up to new ideas. It can have a freeing effect on your concept of sex and sexuality. Watching other people do “freaky” things can make you feel less self-conscious about your kinky desires. You’ll feel less inhibited during sex with your partner, meaning you will enjoy much better sex life.
Kinky Porn Helps Get You Off Solo
Porn can be useful when going through a dry spell in the bedroom with your partner. It can be helpful not always to make your partner responsible for your needs. Not every sex session will be up to par with your last banging romp where both of you orgasmed three times in a row (good for you!). Fatigue and stress can make us less than ideal in bed. Everyone has their off days. If your partner isn't in the mood, watching porn while you go at it, solo can help get you off. It can fill a desire discrepancy when your partner can’t fulfill it for you. Take some of the pressure off of one of you when you’re not “into it.”
Additionally, watching kinky porn solo allows you to explore sexual fantasies that your partner may not share. You get time to yourself to figure out what you like and want without your partner's judgment. Your partner shouldn't shame you for your interests, but that doesn't mean they have to enjoy the same (kinky) tastes.
Kinky Porn Can Strengthen Your Bond
Watching porn together can be a fun, intimate shared experience between you and your partner. It can be your little secret, which makes watching kinky porn even more intriguing. Together you can deep dive into the kinky porn genres and discover things you both like. You’ll also find something you don’t like and things so ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh. Watching porn together can strengthen your bond and serve as a fun memory for you. It’s just another experience you can check off the list of “couple things to try.” Sharing your weird, kinky porn fetishes builds trust like no other. There's nothing quite as intimate as expressing your desire to have your partner sit on your face while eating apple pie, is there?
5 Kinky Porn Genres to Consider
The kinky porn genre is neverending (an almost frightening statement). When you think you’ve seen it all, the internet proves you wrong. Kinky porn spans from the strange and laughable to the more extreme and aggressive. There’s something for everyone, and a lot of it is not as bad as you might think. Suppose you’ve never explored kinky porn before. It may be best to start with the more tame genres of kink. However, that’s totally up to you and your partner. Below are 5 kinky porn genres to consider:
Breast/Genital Slapping
Breast or genital slapping is what it sounds like. Your partner will be spanking your breasts and possibly your vagina (if you’re into it). Breast and genital slapping fall under the broad umbrella of BDSM (likely the most well-known sexual fetish). According to some folks, there is pain in pleasure or pleasure in pain. Breast or genital slapping can be sexually stimulating. It's likely a new sensation for you. During sex, it can make sexual stimulation feel more intense and evoke a sense of danger and excitement.
Your nipples contain a network of nerve endings. When your partner slaps your breasts, you’ll feel pain and gratifying stimulation. Similarly, having your partner slap your outer labia near your clitoris will send orgasmic sensations coursing through your bones. Your partner can use their hand for slapping or opt for a fetish sex toy like a leather whip or flog. And if you want to make your breast slapping more intense, use nipple clamps to heighten the tingling sensations of pain and pleasure.
Sexy Massages
Sexy massage porn looks as hot to watch as it is in real life. What’s not fun about watching a super handsome man (or beautiful woman) give the receiving partner a hot, oily massage that hits every nook and cranny? Oh, and they have sex too. Sexy massage porn is a slow build-up to the grand finale. Of course, you’ll get to watch the receiving partner enjoy a thorough bodily massage, including their genitals. Really, what sounds better than getting a massage and being sexually satisfied at the same time? Sexy massage porn is straightforward for you and your partner to emulate. There are no crazy sex positions or props involved. It would help if you had a little (or a lot) of massage oil and a bed. You and your partner can work out each other’s kinks and simultaneously give each other an orgasm.
Lesbian Porn
Lesbian porn is fun to watch, even if you and your partner are in a heterosexual relationship. As a straight woman, you may be surprised at just how hot it is to watch other girls get it on. Let’s be real; girls are hot. Gay, straight, bi, or nonbinary, everyone loves looking at beautiful women. Plus, it could be interesting to see how other females interact with one another sexually. Women tend to be a lot less aggressive in bed than men, which could be nice. And, of course, female partners know what feels good for each other because they have the same parts. Watching lesbian porn can be a turn-on for both you and your partner. It can also be a teaching moment for your male partner to see how you want it done. Ideally, more men should watch lesbian porn. Maybe they’d understand what makes women orgasm, not what doesn’t.
Role-Playing
Role-playing is a type of sex play that allows you and your partner to live out your sexual fantasies. Have you ever fantasized about a taboo scenario, such as student-teacher sex? Or do you want to be arrested and punished by a sexy cop? Role-play scenarios are common in many porn films. One of the most popular role play genres on porn sites is stepfamily or incest porn. Does this mean people want to have sex with their stepbrother or sister? No, and neither would you want to have sex with a cop who’s arrested you. Role-playing scenarios are pure fantasy and don’t necessarily portray our true desires. Getting the chance to enact your fantasy through role-playing is the closest you will get to have your fantasy fulfilled in reality. Again, it's fantasy. You and your partner will not be doing anything wrong by pretending to be stepbrother and stepsister (if that’s what you’re into).
Exhibitionism
You can’t explore kinky porn without seeing exhibitionism. Exhibitionism, or voyeurism, derives sexual pleasure from being watched while having sex. Some couples are into people either catching them in the act of watching them while they’re getting naughty. For some, it’s a thrill to have yourself so exposed and vulnerable to other people’s watchful eyes. It’s exhilarating and freeing to have sex outside the bedroom where other people could be involved. Sex in public is illegal, so you and your partner must be careful should you decide to experiment with this kink in real life. Some ways to explore exhibitionism are to have sex in front of an open window, give your partner a hand job in a dark movie theater, or have sex in your car. You will need to be sure that you won't get caught in each scenario. As fun as it may be, an orgasm is not worth getting arrested over.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Kinky Porn
Are you interested in watching kinky porn but aren't sure what your partner will think? Being uncertain of whether your partner will judge you for your sexual desires is a valid concern. We don’t want to upset our partners or have them think something's wrong with us. Talking to them about porn may be especially intimidating as most people hold strong viewpoints. But your desire for sexual pleasure is just as valid as your concerns. Your partner should not make you feel bad for confiding in them your sexual desires. They don’t have to share your desires, but they should never judge you for what you like.
Broach the subject of watching kinky porn together when they are relaxed and more receptive to hearing what you have to say. A good time could be post-sex when you both are still high off orgasms and feeling extra cuddly. Start by talking to them about all the things you like about your sex life currently. Then switch the subject to things you’d like to maybe try with them. Explain to them that you’ve seen or would like to see how other people do it. Tell them how you think watching porn together would turn both of you on. Let them know the benefits that watching porn together can have for your sex life. If they agree to it, start slow. Watch some of the more tame kinky porn videos before moving on to the extreme stuff. It will be less intimidating and less likely to scare your partner away.
The Bottom Line
Kinky Porn isn’t the bad, gross boogeyman you may have thought it was. Exploring the world of kinky porn can be a fun bonding activity for both you and your partner. You’ll both get a chance to see and try new things you might not have tried before. It can be an intimate way to get to know your partner’s turn-ons and your own. Is kinky porn for you? Well, you’ll never know until you try. And, who knows, you might bond over failed attempts at kinky play when you both decide that that particular scenario is not for you.
