While you may cringe at your man masturbating and find it appalling and altogether threatening. Why is he not coming to you to meet all of his sexual needs? And that's threatening you to your very core. It may threaten your womanhood, maybe even your relationship with your man. However, you may misconstrue feelings when facing something that seems to compromise your relationship. Surely, there are many factors on your very valid feelings competing with his very valid right to masturbate. So, in a healthy relationship, you must allow the space for him to jerk off. You should also allow yourself the space for your solo sex session regularly. It can work wonders for you. Keep reading to see why.
Real Men's Answers to Why Men Like to Jerk Off
First of all, the obvious "we just like to jerk off" isn't what we're going for here. Although, that is a perfect explanation of why there are so many great reasons that make sense. Also, a man's reasons for masturbation could very well offer you the same benefits if you masturbate yourself. Female masturbation is a beautiful and normal thing, by the way. In a survey on both sexes, at least 76% of American women admit masturbating. If you're wondering, the men won the masturbation competition with a whopping 92% of admitted male masturbation in the US of A.
As long as you're still wondering, let's delve into real reasons from real men for the frequent masturbation, starting with the big O itself. Sometimes men would rather masturbate than trouble their wives or girlfriend. Besides, it's easier sometimes to jerk off alone than to have a whole process before getting to the point. With all the wooing and romancing that it may take to convince his wife to engage with him, it would be so much easier after a long and trying day or when he's too stressed to concentrate on your sexual needs and his. It is most likely not anything that you did or didn't do that makes ALL the insecurities flood your mind, even in a secure and loving relationship. Sometimes, it's just that it's the easiest way to orgasm for him, with the orgasm being the major goal and motivation to masturbate in the first place. The beauty of orgasm is that it comes with stress relief and a release of all his tension in one load. Men are not saying that the unloading is as good as if you and he had just had some great sex. No orgasm is equal, and real sex with you is at the top of the list. It brings us to the next good reason for him to jerk off is the induction of deep, restful sleep. It is even true with real sex. Sexual intercourse, as well as masturbation, is a real sleep aide- without any side effects. It works for women, too! As sleep is a form of self-care, so is jerking off! We know that masturbation is among the top 3 self-care regimens to boost your self-esteem. So your guy masturbates as a form of self-care. With self-love and a good amount of self-respect from their frequent masturbation, a man or woman will be more apt to stay faithful and resist any urges to do more than jerk off as a bonus. Can you imagine how much more confident and loving people would be if more people would engage in solo sex once in a while? You know that with masturbation comes a better lover. When people know themselves fully, they already know what feels good to them and then know how to put it into practice. Plus, with all that new confidence, it will show itself in your partnered sex. We'll let you chew on that one for a bit. Then some men jerk off for the hell of it. These men reportedly have no real rhyme or reason to some of their masturbation, while some say it is a phenomenal mood booster for him, especially when he's had a bad day or two.
Why It's Beneficial for Women to "Jerk Off" Too
It's no secret that women are the ones who shy away from anything that is not traditional sexual intercourse. You may shy away from touching yourself and find someone to do the touching for you. Let's talk about why that is. Then let's talk about why you should have sex without your boyfriend or girlfriend, or even your nonbinary friend, just you. After that, we can discuss why solo masturbation and partnered masturbation will spice up your sex life for good.
The Lie Women Have Been Fed About Female Masturbation
First, let's get into why many women don't understand that masturbation is healthy and normal, not just for your boyfriend or husband. At some point in our lives, no matter our heritage, culture, or religion, we were taught not to touch ourselves. We grow this curiosity about our genitals from a very young age, and most of our curiosities are corrected immediately if not punished. Our caregivers meant well and had the same wrong ideas about sex and our bodies. It taught us not to touch ourselves, and our bodies are for the one magical person to touch. However, even at a year or two, touching and feeling our body parts is a very normal and, more importantly, a developmental milestone. It is called self-exploration, and with the delayed onset, we banished our sexuality to the "no-no zone" into our adult years. Then, you may have been to a "true love waits" class at church. Your natural curiosity concerning your vagina was a "no-no."
On top of that, you may have learned that sex before marriage bit with the inclusion of some strange metaphors about your pretty little box, called your vagina that stays closed until your prince charming comes with a big rock to put on your finger. If he makes enough money for you to have six kids and three dogs and live comfortably on his salary, then you may give it away. No, that's not the metaphor, but close enough. The point is that there are so many stigmas surrounding female masturbation and how many sex partners you've had and how pure you are. And it's all a load of crap! Humans are naturally sexual people, including you! However, you have the power to turn the stigmas upside down and live sexually free and have as many orgasms by yourself and your boyfriend or husband or whomever and take back your relationship with yourself.
Why Female Masturbation Is Vital to Her Sexual Health
Now, let's get into the good stuff. Why should you masturbate? The answers are so many, so let's start with everything that makes male masturbation okay and beneficial. They are all true for you. By masturbating, you will practice self-care, promote self-love, and breed real body confidence. You will promote better sleep when you masturbate. And you get actual pleasure out of pleasuring yourself and your guy. You're setting yourself up for the best sex of your life with the confidence-building that comes with exploring your body all by yourself. Then, there are sex toys to take the guesswork out of how to reach the sexual satisfaction you are hoping to achieve. Here are some things that may make you want to get down with yourself right NOW. Are you ready? You alleviate menstrual cramps and other aches and pains with good old-fashioned masturbation. Then, if you suffer from vaginal dryness or pain with intercourse, masturbation will help you immensely by reprograming your body by showing it that it can produce its lube. Also, the pain you may be experiencing during partnered sex could be from the vaginal dryness itself. In masturbating, you will beat the dryness and the pain, therefore accomplishing a more intimate relationship with yourself and your guy. Not to mention, your sexual health, your mental health, and sexual relationship with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or within your marriage will all improve more and more with more masturbation.
Mutual Masturbation: Jerk Off with Him
The idea of moving on to such a personal and already taboo thing may make you want to dismiss the idea altogether now. However, the vulnerability and the taboo of it all can make it that much sexier. Some so many women admittedly want to watch their boyfriend, or husband, masturbate. There is just something raw and so sexy about watching. A related article explains the consensus among voyeuristic females. And we're sure your boyfriend or husband would feel the same about watching you pleasure yourself. If you could get out of your way, would you try a little mutual masturbation? If you said no way, then that's okay. It will be here for you when you're ready. If you said yes, then this is your lucky day. We have some tricks of the trade to get you past your insecurities and feelings of vulnerability for some great mutual masturbation with your favorite person.
Mutual Masturbation for a Sound Sexual Relationship with You And Your Guy
There are many different approaches to mutual masturbation, all good, and there is no wrong way. You know yourself better than anyone else, so first, learn a few ways to start slowly. These are only a few tried and true ideas to get the juices flowing.
Masturbation Try-out #1: The Peeper
Let's start with the pretty universally known and loved one, The Peeping Tom (or whatever you call your boyfriend). In this sexy scenario, you can have your guy hide behind a door that is left slightly ajar. It is great for three reasons. For one, he may have a similar or dead-on fantasy in which he wants to peep in on you in a private moment, such as you masturbating or dressing. For two, you can more easily block him out to feel more like you're alone, so you will be able to start. Also, many women fantasize about being watched and being the object of your guy's sexual desire. And for three, imagine the great sex that will follow. Surely, this is going in his highlight reel of the best sexual activity. You can use this long after for future motivation for masturbation.
Masturbation Try-Out #2: The Bossy Masturbator
If you are a bit less shy, you could get bossy and tell your guy that you have something to show him. Bring him into the area you've prepared and demand that he sits at the foot of the bed and then mercilessly either strip down to your undies or be ready in a shirt and panties and put on a show. Some dirty talkers can go all out with this one, narrating what you're doing as you do it and telling him what you are thinking of to get you so sexually aroused. It would be best if you naturally did what makes sense for you, don't overthink or oversell it. It's awesome to try out new things, but it's also important to be yourself. That's the girl your guy likes the most.
Masturbation Try-Out #3: The Sexting to Sexual Pleasure
Now, there are strip show motifs and role-playing and all the things that make a sex life so enjoyable. However, try taking baby steps when you are already unsure of letting him into your special masturbation space just yet. You can start getting more comfortable with some sexting or a short video of your pleasuring yourself as a way to get your feet wet. After your guy finishes conquering a quick jerk off at work, you can bet your bottom dollar that he is speeding home to see the live version. Another thing, it's excellent if your sexy sex act leads to yet another, like oral sex or the ultimate, sexual intercourse, as long as it leads you two to more sexual satisfaction. Also, we don't condone speeding while driving, but if you must, at least wear a seatbelt.
The Benefits of Mutual Masturbation for Both of You
Some of these may seem obvious to you. However, some may make you want to read the rest later after grabbing your guy to test out all the benefits yourself. You know, to make sure that we're right, right…? First, the best part of the partner masturbating within a committed sexual relationship or marriage is reducing the risk of unwanted pregnancies, STIs, or STDs like HIV or hepatitis. There are many ways to avoid pregnancy, especially when you're not wanting or planning to get pregnant.
Those seem more like warnings, and they are, but with the warning may come more masturbation, mutual or solo. It's your choice. More benefits of mutual masturbation include a deeper intimacy within a marriage or otherwise committed sexual relationship. Then, natural sexual arousal in both parties continues to grow because they feel understood in their sexual needs. The communication skills in the bedroom are finally strong. With the added confidence with the mutual masturbation, both partners get to see how strong the sexual desire and sexual arousal are when they are using each other as a type of "porn" to jerk off to instead of actual porn. Although, you could use porn together, too.
When He Jerks Off Too Much or Needs Porn More Than You
So, a very clear red line separates the man who occasionally watches porn for sexual stimulation to finish quicker and be on with his day and the man who is completely drowning in the semen he's producing. His girlfriend is at her wit's end, pulling her hair out to not just leave him to his porn addiction. Here is a golden rule of thumb, if you are masturbating and not fulfilling any other person's sexual needs or jerking off so much that you can't masturbate AND sexually satisfy your girl, you need to admit you have an addiction. It's not enough, though, to state that there is a general addiction. You must identify why your sex addiction or porn addiction completely debilitates you. Then it would be a great next step to see a mental health professional and agree to see a sex therapist for your marriage or other monogamous relationship.
A Budding New Intimacy for You and Your Guy
There is one real burning question after reading about how masturbation can vastly improve your marriage and personal sex life. Will you let yourself enjoy the alone time, or will you branch out to masturbate with your all-time favorite jerk off? It is essential to remember that a guy knows that masturbation is not even a little bit close to the magic you possess. You can let go of all the misinformation that fed your deep-rooted insecurities concerning your guy masturbating. You know now that it's okay for your man to jerk off, and you too. Hopefully, now you can feel secure in your relationship, finally. Now go forth and have amazing, partnered sex or masturbate- or BOTH!
