Ever wonder why you might act the way that you do in a relationship? Your attachment style might provide clarity for you. We aren’t professionally licensed therapists, but take this quiz to see if you identify with a particular attachment type!
How much contact do you need in your relationships?
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When things start to get close and more intense with someone, you typically:
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Family: How would you describe your primary caregivers and their treatment of you during your childhood?
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How do you express your needs to a partner?
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While attempting to communicate needs you’ve had in the past, which option sounds most accurate to what ends up happening?
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What is your initial thought if you feel like your partner is expressing a need that you’ve not provided for them?
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Your biggest fear while in a romantic relationship is that:
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Which Attachment Style is Most Likely Yours?
Secure
A secure attachment style is one where a person generally trusts others. Securely attached people speak their minds and are aware of their own needs and how to express them in a way that is not aggressive or inappropriate. In addition, they usually are known to de-escalate a problem because they aren’t triggered as quickly as people with one of the three other attachment styles, all of which are insecure.
Anxious/Preoccupied
A person with an anxious/preoccupied attachment style generally fears abandonment and has high anxiety. Their trigger response might include actions such as fawning or inaction. This attachment style leads to someone’s relationship becoming something to preoccupy them, creating a codependent dynamic with their partner. The person might be considered a people-pleaser and will put their own needs aside because if they don’t, they feel like their significant other might leave them. Consequently, this could lead to a build-up of resentment in both the person who has this attachment style and their view of their partner if they feel unappreciated by them, resulting in a toxic relationship. This is one of the three insecure attachment styles. Remember that this isn’t set in stone and that by putting in the time and work in therapy and self-reflection, a person can unlearn patterns that don’t serve them!
Anxious Dismissive/Avoidant
A person with a dismissive/avoidant attachment style is usually someone who comes off as highly independent. This could be a result of not trusting others and building up walls around themselves. Consequently, this can create a dismissive demeanor within the person, even though they desire intimacy, but they’re ultimately scared by it at the same time. This is one of the three insecure attachment styles. Remember that this isn’t set in stone and that by putting in the time and work in therapy and self-reflection, a person can unlearn patterns that don’t serve them!
Fearful-Avoidant/Disorganized
A person with a disorganized attachment style is one where they generally feel anxious. They might downplay a relationship to not feel like they care as much as the other person. With this attachment style, intimacy is something that comes and goes. This attachment style is where a person might detach because they are mystified by their feelings and have difficulty internalizing things. This is one of the three insecure attachment styles. Remember that this isn’t set in stone and that by putting in the time and work in therapy and self-reflection, a person can unlearn patterns that don’t serve them!
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