When it comes to the world of dating, there are countless avenues to explore, each with its unique set of potential pitfalls. As individuals navigate their way through the process of finding love, they can often find themselves lured into certain behaviors that, while seemingly harmless, could have detrimental effects on their dating journey. Two major instances of these so-called ‘Deadly Sins’ are the excessive focus on looks and the rigid adherence to societal ‘Dating Timelines’. These sins of dating, if not acknowledged and rectified, can put a damper on the joys of exploring romantic relationship and can limit the potential of truly meaningful connections.
Obsessing Over Looks
In the age of Instagram and endless filters, appearances are given paramount importance. It’s perhaps all too easy to dive into the pitfalls of surface-level beauty, forgetting what truly matters. Yes, a stunning outfit or a perfectly laid brunch spread can serve as eye candy, keeping those likes and comments rolling in. But, are we losing sight of what really counts? Here are four reasons why we might be overvaluing appearances.
Striking a pose for that perfect snapshot certainly has its place – it can inspire creativity, showcase personal style, and even forge connections with a like-minded audience. Yet, at times, we might find ourselves spending grave amounts of time, planning that next Instagram post or laboring over which filter would make us seem more radiant, more interesting. The truth? We could be channeling that quality time into more enriching experiences.
Development of personal essence often takes a back seat when we are consumed with how we present ourselves. In cultivating our unique personality traits, emotional intelligence, or wisdom garnered from life experiences, we shine in ways that surpass any physical appearance. Confidence, charisma, and kindness can’t be bought or edited into a photograph. These traits captivate individuals, creating a lasting impression.
Subsequently, by focusing excessively on appearances, it’s not uncommon to embark on a never-ending quest for perfection. The danger lies in the relentless pursuit of an impossible standard. Real life is beautifully imperfect, filled with raw moments that are far from the polished photos we often see online.
Moreover, obsessing over appearances could inadvertently promote materialism. Easy it is to feel as though we constantly require new outfits or novel backdrops to keep up with the social media sphere. If one isn’t careful, such preoccupation can lead to unnecessary purchasing and create an unhealthy attachment to material things.
So, next time you find yourself fretting over visual aesthetics, whether it’s your outfit, your social media posts, or something else, do remember that your worth extends far beyond appearances. Authenticity, values, and personal growth ought to be celebrated with the same enthusiasm as we reserve for well-orchestrated photographs. Now, that‘s a trend worth setting.
Photo by anthonytran on Unsplash
Being Too Fixed on ‘The Timeline’
New Ways We’re Allowing Society to Control Our Love Lives
Picture this: It’s been only a few blissful weeks into your romantic endeavor, but your partner snaps a picture of your date night to share on their social media accounts. Barely a month into the relationship, the whispers start: “When are you two moving in together?” “Have you met their parents yet?” “When’s the wedding?” Suddenly, you’re flooded with anxiety, the fairytale romance you were reveling in now overshadowed by the urgency to meet these societal expectations and milestones.
Relationships, like the individuals in them, should be allowed the freedom and space to grow and evolve naturally, at their unique pace. By presetting norms for love, we’re allowing society to jostle us into reaching milestones before we are ready. It’s not just about the pressure to look perfect for an Instagram post – it’s about the pressure to move your relationship at an unnaturally fast pace because of what other people might think or say.
Unsurprisingly, the formula for a successful relationship is as unique and varied as we are as individuals. Crafting a relationship timeline based on societal norms lacks authenticity and individuality. It is crucial that couples communicate and set the pace and timeline of their relationship based on mutual understanding, respect, and readiness.
We also see societal pressures playing out in the realm of intimacy and sex. When to have sex, how often, or even how it should feel – these are personal decisions that often get subjugated under the weight of societal standards. Yet, these norms fail to account for individual comfort levels, desires and needs.
Further, the Western cultural phenomenon of romantic love often inadvertently suggests a “fairytale” narrative in relationships – placing an unrealistic pressure to find the ‘perfect’ partner. You may have heard the phrases: “They need to have a good job,” “They should treat you like a queen,” “They need to do XYZ.” But have we ever paused to ask ourselves: do we really want these things, or are we influenced by the societal construct of what an ‘ideal’ partner should be?
It’s important to remember that at the center of any relationship is a shared bond and connection – and ultimately, we get to determine this for ourselves, not society.
Remember, you’re no less or no more in love, just because you’ve neatly placed all your relationship milestones on social media galleries! It’s not a race or a competition, but instead, a journey to be enjoyed at a pace that feels right for the both of you. As cliché as it might sound, Pat Benatar summed it up pretty well: Love is a battlefield, but it’s a battlefield you navigate together, one that doesn’t need to follow anyone else’s road map.
In conclusion, it’s high time we start examining societal pressures and their influence on our relationships. For those of us who are in relationships or seeking one, it’s a call to focus on honest conversations, mutual understanding, and embracing our authentic selves in love – not just in how we portray our lives on Instagram. It’s time for us to take the reins back from societal expectations to create our own unique love stories. Don’t let society dictate your love life. Make it your own!
So, in the exhilarating journey called dating, keep your eyes wide open and be mindful of these ‘Seven Deadly Sins’. Instead of being fixated on physical appearances or keeping in step with dictated timelines, focus on character, shared values and emotional compatibility. Being your authentic self and allowing space for your partner to be themselves is the key to finding genuine love. Always remember, it’s your journey, your rhythm, let it evolve and resonate in its own tune and not tunneled according to societal norms. Let the poetry of love, acceptance, and respect for individuality shape your unique love story.
