Experimenting with different sex positions in the bedroom can be fun and exciting. Many sex positions compete with one another for how raunchy or ridiculous they can be (the wheelbarrow or standing 69 sex position for example). While shows of acrobatic ability and extreme flexibility are surely inventive ways to achieve orgasm, they often don’t. In fact, surveys suggest that both men and women prefer classic missionary over any other sex positions. This is likely because missionary is straightforward (no handstands or splits required) and allows for more intimacy. In the lotus sex position, intimacy is the primary focus. Sex is after all, about as physically intimate as you can be with another person. But physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are not the same thing. You can be physical with someone, yet not feel any kind of real emotional connection towards them. And while sex can be just a fun, casual affair, oftentimes it means more than that. Couples who are interested in dabbling with tantric sex positions will find that the lotus sex position allows for the greatest level of spiritual connection. And even if spirituality doesn’t play a role in your sex life, we’re certain that you and your partner will enjoy the soul bonding orgasms that the lotus sex position can provide.
What Is the Lotus Sex Position?
The lotus sex position between a man and a woman requires the male partner to sit cross-legged on the bed or floor while the female partner mounts his penis by sitting in his lap and straddling his waist. The lotus sex position could be incorporated into LGBTQ relationships, but we will be referring to cisgender heterosexual couples for this article. The female partner will be facing her partner, and her body pressed up as close to him as she can get. She will wrap her legs around her partner’s torso and lock her ankles around his back. The male partner will wrap his arms around his partner and hold her tight as together they move and grind their pelvises in rhythmic motions. The lotus sex position does not allow for typical thrusting in penetration. It’s more so suited for intimate connection through slow circular movements. The lotus sex position is a form of tantric sex, a concept surrounding sexual intercourse derived from ancient Hinduism spirituality. In tantric sex, the end goal is not orgasm (although orgasms can very well be achieved) but rather enjoying the sexual journey. Tantric sex focuses on slow, meditative sex that focuses on enjoying the bodily sensations of sex while also using the transfer of sexual energy for healing and enlightenment. Tantric sex positions can be used to understand your body better and develop a deeper connection with your partner. In doing so, you and your partner will better understand what feels best for your bodies. It can lead to a stronger romantic bond as well as stronger orgasms.
Part of tantric sex is recognizing the body as having spiritual energy in the form of chakras. Chakras refer to concentrated spiritual power throughout the body. Ancient Hinduism believes the human body has seven chakras aligning from your pelvis up through your spine and to the top of your head. The lotus sex position enables both partners to connect their chakras through its uniquely intimate positioning during lovemaking. That being said, the lotus sex position is not only reserved for yogis and new-age spiritualists. The lotus sex position can be interpreted however you want. However, one certain thing is that the lotus sex position will be an intense sexual connection for both partners. And while the lotus sex position is not practiced for the sake of orgasmic relief, it’s possible that it could produce just that for one or both partners. While the female partner is grinding up against her man’s pelvis, her clitoris may benefit from enough clitoral stimulation to induce an orgasm. Many women can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, so sex positions that incorporate it are highly beneficial for women.
Tips for Doing the Lotus Sex Position
Unlike many of the sex positions we’ve covered before, the lotus sex position is not about getting kinky in the bedroom. The lotus sex position is not meant for rough, dirty sex or a way to show off your stamina in the bedroom. Couples who will most benefit from the lotus sex position will more than likely be long-term partners. People in newer relationships or casual hook-up buddies might be intimidated by the level of intimacy the lotus sex position provides. Plus, you’ll likely not feel the same connection with someone you don’t know very well. It may be more awkward than intensely sexy. Of course, things could get uncomfortable with your long-time beau if you struggle to make the lotus sex position work for you both. One issue that may arise is the male partner’s flexibility sitting in the criss-cross position for so long. Since grade school, many of us haven’t been forced to sit in this position, and our legs could cramp after a while. He might also find it becomes painful if his partner’s bum puts too much pressure on his crossed ankles while she’s sitting on top of him. This can be avoided if she shifts her weight elsewhere on his lap or if he supports her weight by holding up her butt with his hands.
But if this position is still uncomfortable for him, he can uncross his legs and let them lay straight out in front of him. Both partners will still get the same advantages from the lotus sex position with their legs uncrossed. And if the male partner finds it difficult to remain sitting upright without putting strain on his back, he can lean back and place his palms on the bed behind him. This may make it even easier for him to thrust into his partner. Another option would be to do the lotus sex position while sitting up against a wall or headboard. Having something to lean back on will help support his spine throughout intercourse. The female partner is free to modify the lotus sex position in however she chooses as well. If she finds it uncomfortable to keep her legs wrapped around her partner’s waist, she can straighten her legs and allow them to rest on the bed. She can experiment with her grinding motions going from either side to side, up and down, or circular. She could also try leaning slightly back if she wants a better chance at stimulating her G-spot. A woman’s G-spot is located in the upper front wall of the vagina. It is part of the clitoral network that, when stimulated, is said to produce vaginal orgasms. But she may prefer to remain closer to her partner for a romantic make-out session.
Both partners are free to plant gentle kisses along each other's necks or whisper sexy thoughts. They are also free to explore one another’s body in the lotus sex position, and it is highly recommended for feeling optimal sexual sensation. Use your hands to caress your partner’s chest, breasts, back, shoulders, or anywhere you like. You could incorporate light back-scratching or even gentle love nibbles to get the most out of this tantric sensory experience. And don’t be afraid to ask your partner to do something specific that you like. The lotus sex position is all about being able to feel comfortable and close with your partner. They should want to make you feel as good as possible. And while gazing into one another’s eyes during sex might seem romantic, it might surprise you to learn that looking into your partner’s eyes can increase your arousal. Eye gazing during sex is a form of intimacy that not all sex positions provide. The lotus sex position highly encourages couples to lock eyes as it can be more of a spiritual sex experience.
Similar Sex Positions
The cons to doing the lotus sex position are that it may be uncomfortable for some people or not enough stimulation during penetration. If you and your partner are having trouble getting comfortable in the lotus sex position or prefer more intense penetration, try some of these similar sex positions below:
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The Octopus Sex Position
In the octopus sex position, you and your partner will be on your butts. The male partner will start by sitting on his butt, and legs bent, feet flat on the bed with palms on the bed behind him. His legs will be spread just wide enough for his partner to mount him before she assumes the same position in between his legs. But unlike the male partner, the female partner will instead raise her legs and rest them on her partner’s shoulders. Together they will resemble an octopus’s eight legs going in opposite directions. From here, the male partner can thrust into her while making romantic eye contact. If the female partner wants to make penetration feel deeper or tighter, she can bring her legs closer together and wrap her ankles around his neck. And depending on how flexible she is, she can either lean forward or backward to change the angle of penetration. Both partners will like the octopus for its incredibly sexy positioning. The female partner will feel vulnerable as the male partner thrusts inside of her. He will have a full-frontal view of her breasts as they bounce up and down with every thrust. Sex positions that allow for eye contact instantly feel more intimate. It will be imperative in the octopus, as this sex position does not make kissing your partner possible.
Chair Lotus Sex Position
In chair lotus sex position (yep, you guessed it), you’ll need a chair. It’s best to use a wide sturdy chair because it will need to hold both you and your partner’s weight. The male partner will sit in the chair in a normal lotus position with his legs crossed at the ankles. If he doesn’t find this comfortable, he can bring his legs down to sit normally. The female partner will then straddle him, but instead of wrapping her legs around her partner’s waist like in a lotus sex position, she will let them hang off the side of the chair. The couple will look like they are doing cowgirl sex position but on a chair. The chair lotus sex position allows for the same intimacy as standard lotus, just slightly different positioning. Couples may find chair lotus sex position to be more comfortable than regular lotus. The male partner will undoubtedly enjoy the back support from the chair, and the female partner might enjoy the opportunity for deeper penetration. Woman on top sex positions makes clitoral stimulation easier. The female partner may find this to be more accurate in chair lotus because of the downward angling. The male partner will need to hold on to his partner’s waist while she thrusts in case she loses her balance.
The Piston Sex Position
The piston is like the chair lotus sex position, except that the male partner will be standing. Start with the male partner sitting on either the edge of the bed or a chair. The female partner will then straddle him like in the chair lotus sex position. With his arms wrapped firmly under her thighs or bum, the male partner will then stand up. He’ll be supporting his partner’s weight as she thrusts up and down on his penis. To make this possible, she’ll need to have the top of her feet resting on either the side of the bed or chair. She can use this as leverage for thrusting. Couples will like the piston sex position because it is sexy to bang your partner while standing up. The male partner will likely feel manly as he holds his partner in his arms while grabbing handfuls of her butt. The downside to the piston is that it can be tiring for both partners, especially the male partner. It may also not be possible depending on you and your partner’s strength or size. The piston could be a fun sex position to try out, but it likely will be so physically demanding that couples won’t find it easy to concentrate on intimacy.
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Thoughts To Consider When Doing the Lotus Sex Position
Although sex is physically intimate, not everyone truly feels a sense of intimacy when they have intercourse. This could be because they do not fully trust or feel a deep connection with their partner or hold negative subconscious ideas about sex that inhibit their ability to enjoy sex. They may also have a hard time being truly intimate with their partner if they have negative feelings about themselves or their body. Any of the above could be roadblocks, and they are worth discussing if you feel either of you are experiencing these issues. Tantric sex positions, like the lotus sex position, could help you and your partner work through intimacy problems in your sex life. You may even find that establishing a deeper connection in bed will strengthen your relationship in general. If you are curious about tantric sex positions, talk to your partner about it. Explain why you are interested, and how you think tantric sex positions will enhance your sex life. It may be helpful to do more research on tantric sex positions yourself and suggest that your partner do the same. There are plenty of online resources for learning about tantra and plenty of books written on the subject.
Tantric sex positions are less about specific sex positions as they are about experiencing a spiritual, sexual connection. Technically, all sex positions could be considered tantric sex if you and your partner make efforts to deeply connect. Certain sex positions make that more possible, as well as incorporating intimate sex practices like eye contact and tantric breathing. Tantric breathing involves becoming more aware of your breathing and using it to bring energy into your sex organs. You can do this by taking deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Find a comfortable breathing rhythm and focus on feeling it deep in your belly and groin. You and your partner can practice tantric breathing together during intercourse. You can use it to sync your breaths, therefore creating an even more intimate experience. A deep level of intimacy can sometimes feel scary, so don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with before you’re ready. Neither partner should feel forced to try them, or to like them. Sex is a different experience for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that.
