How To Find and Marry a Sweet Guy

Sweet man and woman sitting outside.

As a woman, entering a relationship is a conscious choice in modern times. No longer is the societal norm an expectation of marriage for women. Most women see marriage or a long-term relationship with a man as a "nice to have" more than the necessity it was even just 20 or 30 years ago. We have our careers, buy or rent our properties, fix our cars, and even own power tools. It is the age of the independent woman, but that doesn't mean you have to be a solitary woman. When a woman decides she'd like to have a long-term relationship, she must give thought to the correct type of man for herself. You can always take one of these quizzes to figure out which kind of guy is best for you. Every person is different, but you can classify men into broad groups based on specific attributes like any category of living creatures. These include the bad boy, the broken guy, the commitment-averse guy, the emotionally unavailable guy, the nice guy, and the sweet guy. If you decide you want to hitch your wagon to a man for that long haul called life, choosing a compatible type will help ensure your new relationship has a fighting chance. To select a good mate, you need to figure out the correct kind of guy for you. No one type of guy is perfect, but women often choose the sweet guy over other kinds of men. What is a sweet guy, and how do you find one once you decide you're ready for marriage?

Man and woman looking at computer

The Sweet Guy

A sweet guy lets his actions speak for themselves. He'll embody positive attributes without any conscious thought, and he'll neither need nor expect you to validate his actions as being nice or kind. They're simply the right actions for him to perform because he's that type of person. They're attributes that come with being a sweet guy. Here are some of the critical characteristics a guy will possess if he's a sweet guy.

The Sweet Guy is Attentive and Responsive

One of the essential things in a relationship is paying attention to your partner. A sweet guy won't only give you his attention, but he'll also do so without remorse or expectation of acknowledgment. He'll enjoy listening to your stories, and even if he doesn't share your passions, he'll love that you're passionate about them and enjoy listening to you talk about them. Part of being attentive is being responsive. A sweet guy knows that your time is valuable and doesn't make you wait for responses to calls and texts if he can avoid it. When you want to talk to him, he'll never make you feel like your attention is a burden to him. A sweet guy's priorities will align with the importance of the relationship you've committed to and make sure you are not waiting for responses to your messages and questions.

The Sweet Guy is Available

Availability is an essential characteristic of a man in a relationship, and the sweet guy has it in spades. He might be a busy man, but he loves being with you and knows that spending time with you is requisite, so he prioritizes it. He checks in when he spends time with you and dedicates that time to you and only you. He understands that you both will need to form bonds that only quality time can give to make the relationship a success. But being available with his time isn't the only type of availability you'll get from the sweet guy. A genuine, sweet guy is emotionally available in his relationships. Being emotionally available means he'll be vulnerable with you. It takes a tremendous amount of trust, but he'll share his good and bad feelings and trust you to hold that confidence and still love and respect him. It also means he'll communicate well with you. Suppose the two of you experience a conflict. In that case, he works with you to resolve it by clearly stating his emotions and listening to your take, then considering both perspectives before taking action.

Man and woman in white tshirts on kitchen counter

The Sweet Guy is Respectful

Someone emotionally available will also be respectful to their partner, as you should be to them. Respect comes in many forms, but mutual respect is the bedrock of a sound and long-lasting relationship, such as marriage. Respect is more ambiguous than the other attributes, as it is different in each relationship. Some possible signs of respect from a sweet guy would be that he talks you up to his friends and family, defends you if anyone tries to paint you in a negative light, supports your dreams and aspirations even if he doesn't understand them, and honors your opinions and principals even when he disagrees with them. A sweet guy is respectful of his family, coworkers, friends, and even strangers he meets. He's never purposefully cruel to people and values uniqueness in others. He'll not disparage someone simply because they have a difference of opinion or ideology.

The Sweet Guy is Kind and Helpful

Along with respect, you'll find that a sweet guy will be kind and helpful. He'll go out of his way to support you, perhaps doing your least favorite chore for you now and then. He could give you small gifts and souvenirs that he knows will make you happy. When you're having a rough go of things, he'll rearrange his schedule to make sure he's there to help you through it. A sweet guy knows those small things make the marriage or relationship foundation strong, and he'll create an endless supply of that support for you by being as kind and helpful to you as possible.

The Sweet Guy Shares The Load

Many articles discuss the unbalanced burden of day-to-day life in marriages and long-term relationships. A sweet guy understands that running a household is complicated and should be a team effort. He won't expect you to bear the burden of all the family and household logistics; instead, he'll agree to an equitable division of labor and honor that agreement. This burden is emotional labor, and a sweet guy wants to make sure you aren't carrying all of that weight alone. Whether it's setting up detailed lists of responsibilities or if it's a natural development as the relationship grows, a sweet guy will never shy away from this crucial attribute. He'll understand, as you do, that sharing the load of the emotional labor will bring both of you closer together and, perhaps, even heighten your desire and attraction for each other.

The Sweet Guy Shows Appreciation

A sweet guy knows the importance of showing appreciation to his partner in a marriage. He may do this in many ways, but one of the most visible is remembering essential dates and making some gestures on those dates. It could be simple, like a wake-up coffee made just to your liking on your anniversary, or as big as throwing you a 30th birthday bash with all of your friends and family. It's probably the small ways of showing appreciation that make the most significant difference. A sweet guy will thank you for what you bring into his life. He'll let go of the little things that aren't really important but are just a minor irritation now and then. He'll learn your preferences, like how you take your coffee and your favorite restaurants. He'll notice that you order the same thing from the take-out place you like a couple of times per month and take care of that order without you needing to be involved. If one of you is traveling, he'll send a good morning and a good night text to you every day that you're apart. And he'll be sure to make you feel appreciated when you're back together again by telling you how happy he is that you or he are home.

Asian couple with husband giving wife flowers

The Sweet Guy is Reliable

A sweet guy will be reliable. In a nutshell, he keeps his word. If he says he'll do something, he does it. He lets you know with plenty of compassion and forewarning if he doesn't think he can do something. A sweet guy never makes promises he knows he can't keep in a marriage. It doesn't mean he can't change his mind or that circumstances won't change his ability to do something he told you he'd do. Still, if that happens, he'll apologize, explain the situation as soon as he knows about the change, and work with you to find an alternative.

The Sweet Guy Takes Ownership of His Mistakes

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes or forgets essential things from time to time. A sweet guy takes ownership of his mistakes and endeavors to do better each time it happens. He can realize and accept when he's messed up and doesn't attempt to shift the blame out of a sense of self-preservation. Taking ownership does not mean taking the blame when you're not at fault for the situation. A sweet guy won't forget his responsibility when something goes wrong, but he won't take the blame for things he couldn't control or didn't cause.

African American couple enjoying each other

The Sweet Guy is Patient

A sweet guy will do all things with patience. Patience is keeping control of your emotions when challenged. It means not allowing yourself to give in to anger and frustration and acting out on those negative emotions. Patience manifests as not insulting or demeaning your loved ones in a marriage or relationship. It means accepting challenges from your loved ones and life with grace. It means understanding that the direct actions of a person cause not every bad thing that happens. There isn't always an external factor to blame. Everyone has things that trigger feelings of anger or frustration. Being mindful of particular topics or problems that seem to trigger an angry or impatient response from you can give you a starting point to reflect. Attempting to find the root cause of the reaction is best, but sometimes that isn't possible. Making sure you control it when it does happen is vital.

The Sweet Guy is Thoughtful

A sweet guy uses thoughtfulness to embody all of these attributes. Thoughtfulness is being considerate of the needs of people other than yourself. A sweet guy will be thinking about how he can stay respectful, maintain patience, give attention, show you appreciation, and so on. It means not doing things on autopilot but instead spending some time reflecting on what you need and doing his best to make sure he fulfills your needs.

The Sweet Guy vs. The "Nice Guy"

Now that you have a better idea of what the sweet guy is, it's also essential to understand what the sweet guy isn't. A sweet guy isn't the proverbial "nice guy" we hear about in the tropes and lamentations of men who believe the friend zone is a penalty box or a consolation prize instead of being the blessing and the compliment it truly is. Here are some examples of the toxic "nice guy" attributes that a sweet guy would never have.

The Sweet Guy Doesn't Blame You When You Reject Him.

A sweet guy takes rejection in stride. He understands that people don't always get what they want when they want it and that if you tell them no, it isn't an attack on their character. They respect your ability to make choices for your well-being and your own body. Shocker, right?

The Sweet Guy Isn't Manipulative.

A sweet guy won't use manipulation to get his way. It isn't to be confused with seeking a compromise or trying to convince someone to see your point of view logically. There's always room for healthy debate in a good marriage. It is him using coercion or withholding affection when you don't behave precisely how he wants you to at all times. Many times, manipulation is used by "nice guys" to get sex. A sweet guy won't need to do this as you will have a strong bond, including mutual sexual desire, based on how he treats you and others naturally.

The Sweet Guy Doesn't Gaslight You.

A sweet guy doesn't need to gaslight you. Gaslighting is the use of manipulation that crosses the line into outright abuse. It often takes the form of the gaslighter manipulating you into doubting what you know to be accurate and causing extreme confusion. It can include continuously feeling stupid and often ridiculing you in front of others to reinforce the idea that you must be in the wrong when you were positive otherwise.

Middle Eastern couple with woman embracing kiss from her loving boyfrind

The Sweet Guy Doesn't Tell You He's Kind.

A sweet guy does not need to tell you he's kind. You already know this about him by being thoughtful, supportive, dedicated to your marriage or relationship, and just an overall great man. A sweet guy gets all the validation he needs from the good feelings derived from doing acts of kindness. He doesn't need people to know he's been kind and applaud him for his actions. There's a disturbing trend where people feel they need to prove when they're kind to others. It can tell everyone they know about it, often embellishing the story to make them look even better. You will also see many people recording themselves doing things to help others. They then use that recording to solicit accolades from people who watch the video, giving themselves a massive burst of pride. A sweet guy doesn't need other people to know to take pride in his actions. He's not looking for a collective pat on the back for being a good samaritan. He wants to help out when he can.

The Sweet Guy Doesn't Blame You For His Mistakes.

When a sweet guy messes up, he takes ownership of that and does his best to make amends and rectify the situation. A "nice guy" will often try to convince you that if you'd done one little thing differently, then he wouldn't have been in a position to make a mistake in the first place. In his eyes, he's perfect. Any deviation from that must be someone else's fault, and if you're his partner, that person will most often be you. Yuck! You aren't that man's momma! He's a grown-ass man, making his own decisions, and you hold no responsibility for that.

African American Couple embracing each other

How to Find Your Sweet Guy

A sweet guy sounds amazing, doesn't he? He'll be kind, generous, thoughtful, supportive, reliable, behave like a partner in your relationship, and recognize and bring out the best in you. A sweet guy knows how to treat a woman well in a relationship. If you know that the sweet guy is the correct type of guy for you, you need to figure out where to find one. Being a woman can feel tough these days, especially if you're actively looking for a relationship or marriage. You can't sit back and expect that you'll happen upon the right guy, let alone the right sweet guy. You're going to have to put in the work. However, the simple answer is that sweet guys are all around you. If you're vigilant, you'll notice these behaviors and attributes. If you can find a sweet guy with similar interests to you, who fits your criteria for attractiveness, and is single, you should engage him in conversation. See if there's a spark and ask that sweet guy out. Once you begin dating, make sure you appreciate all the beautiful attributes he brings to the table, try to mirror them in yourself, and before you know it, you're ready for an alter near you to make that sweet guy yours for life!

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