If you feel like you’ve lost your mojo, it can be hard to imagine you’ll ever be happy again. After a breakup, you may feel like you’ll never love again. If someone close to you passes away, all you can see is the gaping hole left in your life. It’s hard to move on, but you can do it. You don’t have to forget the past; instead, use it and learn how to be happy again.
The lessons you learn through all your experiences shape your outlook on life, so if you’re ready to learn how to be happy again, the first step is adopting a positive mindset. That doesn’t mean that you’ve got to don rose-colored glasses and believe everything is perfect. No, you have to assume positive intent. Think the best in people, and you see the best in people. Not everyone is out to get you or hurt you, so don’t let the past cloud your future.
After a heartbreak, there’s a grey cloud over us. We want to listen to sad music, wearing something that reminds us of our partner while eating our feelings. That’s all part of the grieving process, but if you’re ready to learn how to be happy again and recapture your mojo, let’s get started!
How Can I Learn How to Be Happy Again?
Before that big event that turned your life around, you were happy! Sure, everything may not have been perfect, but you were content with aspects of your life. The good news is, if you were happy before, you could learn how to be happy again. You can recapture your mojo – the spark that made you feel like you, ready to take on the world with confidence and swagger.
Before you can learn how to be happy again, you must understand what happiness means to you now. It’s not what it was before, so dig deep. Consider how your past is impacting your present and learn from it. Be selfish, and do things that make you happy. Give yourself grace on your journey because learning how to be happy again isn’t easy.
The truth is that what you went through is hard. Divorce can turn your entire life upside down. Grief can make it feel like you’re going through the motions but not experiencing anything. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid, but you aren’t your feelings. When you think about your feelings in “I am” statements, you’re training your brain to define yourself by your emotions. Instead, shift your thought process to “I feel.” That slight shift helps you see that your feelings do not define you.
You are not sadness incarnate. Instead, you feel sad. You won’t always feel sad, and you can learn how to be happy again and get your mojo back.
8 Ways to Be Happy Again
Your journey to happiness will be unique to you, but you can take steps to move forward on your journey. You can learn how to be happy again with patience and practice. Don’t try to rush it, and let yourself feel your feelings. The more naturally you express them, the better you can cycle through them in productive ways.
Define Happiness to You
Take a moment to define what happiness means to you. It’s a vague feeling that we rarely take the time to define. Happiness, to some, could be unbridled joy – you know, the kind you feel when you’re a kid opening up presents. Happiness to others could be contentedness and comfort. It’s the absence of stress and sadness. Happiness is a state of being rather than a feeling to those people.
You’ll never learn how to be happy again if you don’t define what happiness is to you. It would be best if you had the clarity to help you achieve the feeling; otherwise, you’ll be chasing childhood fantasies of what happiness used to be. Happiness is more than the superficial, so dig deep to understand what you need to accomplish or feel truly happy. It can be as simple or as complex as you want! That’s the beauty of it; you get to decide and set the bar.
Reflect On Your Past
Now that you know what happiness means dig deep and reflect on your past. Think about the different factors standing in your way from being happy. Are you lacking closure from your last relationship? Are you so overpowered by emotions that you can’t think clearly in any aspect of your life?
Your past experiences shaped who you are. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but learning to identify what roadblocks are in your way when learning how to be happy again can help clear the path forward. If you believe you’re not deserving of happiness, you may want to consider working with a therapist. Low self-esteem can stand in learning how to be happy again.
Put Yourself First
As we take on different roles in our life, it’s straightforward to put ourselves and our own needs on the backburner. Women especially – wives and mothers – struggle with this next one, but if you’re learning how to be happy again, you have to make yourself a priority. You are allowed to be selfish about things that bring you joy.
When you’re learning how to be happy again, you must connect with yourself and your needs. Are there things you compromised on in your relationship that once made you happy? Pick them up again! Do you need to take 10 minutes to yourself, free from everyone? Take a walk! Do what you need to do to put yourself first when learning how to be happy again. Allowing yourself to be happy will only make you a better person, wife, mother, friend, you name it!
Try New Things
If you’re not feeling happy yet, that’s okay! Fake it ’til you make it. Get out there and try new things. If you’ve always wanted to learn how to make sushi, go to a class. Do you miss being active? Join a gym or go to workout classes. As you’re learning how to be happy again, you need to identify what brings you joy (and we’re not talking about Marie Kondo here!).
It will be different from 10 years ago or even yesterday, so consider what will make you happy. Be selfish and do it – as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.
Practicing gratitude and mindfulness go hand in hand. When you take a moment to acknowledge how you’re feeling, you can also note all the things you’re grateful for in your life. Some examples could be your health, family, or loved ones. You’re thankful for your support on your journey as you learn how to be happy again.
Gratitude isn’t about being happy with everything and everyone in your life. Instead, it’s noticing things you may otherwise overlook and recognizing that you’re lucky it’s in your life. It’s another way to shift your mindset to think positively and appreciate all the goodness already surrounding you.
Be Kind to Yourself
It sounds simple, but it’s one of the hardest things to embrace. As you’re learning how to be happy again, give yourself grace on your journey. You’ll have setbacks and bad days. It’s natural to think that everything is going wrong and you’ll never learn how to be happy again. Instead of getting stuck in that negativity cycle, practice kindness to yourself.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings, but don’t beat yourself up. Try to silence that inner critic that tells you you’re not deserving of love and happiness. Be kind to yourself, and learning how to be happy again will be easier.
Take Care of Your Health
Depression can take a toll on our physical and mental health, so as you’re learning how to be happy again, pay special attention to your health. Make changes to your diet, integrating healthier foods that will infuse you with energy and nutrients. Being active can help release endorphins into your body, which are feel-good hormones that’ll want to keep you moving to chase that high. Pick another physical activity if running isn’t for you (we get it). It doesn’t matter what you do, just that you do something.
Even making sure that you get 8 hours of sleep (when was the last time you got that much sleep?!) each day can work wonders when you’re learning how to be happy again. Assess your habits and see if there are positive changes you can make in your diet and exercise routine. You’ll notice that learning how to be happy again will come easier after the endorphin rush. Not to mention, when you’re body is feeling its best, your mind will feel its best, too.
Don’t Rush It
When learning how to be happy again, don’t rush it. True happiness will come in time. You can’t force it, no matter how tempting it may be, so take your time and enjoy the journey. You’ll learn how to be happy again when you take the time to understand what that means to you and take action to make it happen.
Happiness is a feeling, but it does not define who we are as people. As you look at how to be happy again, recognize you’ll continue to have good and bad days, but you can get through it all stronger on the other side when you lean on your support system, whether that be family, friends, your cat, or a fuzzy blanket.
How Can I Get My Mojo Back?
Now that you know how to be happy again, let’s talk about your mojo. Your mojo is that sense of “oomph” that gets you going in the morning (the “Groovy, baby” of Austin Powers). It’s what makes you feel like you’re at your best. It’s the vibe you put out in the world when you’re feeling your best, so you must get your mojo back.
Identify Your Stressors
Once you know what’s stressing you out, you can start to work through and address them in healthy ways. Please take a moment to write them down. Think about work, life, school, family, money – anything that’s causing stress in your life. The more specific you are, the easier it will be to face your stressors head-on.
Not every stress will have an immediate fix, but visibility will help it feel more manageable. For example, if money stresses you out, make a list of your monthly bills. Create a budget and stick to it. Identifying the triggers in your life gives them less power over you, so confront your stressors head-on.
A therapist can help you work through any emotional issues you may be facing. If you’re grieving the death of a loved one or your relationship, they can help you work through your trauma, unpacking it in meaningful ways. You don’t always have to go it alone when learning how to be happy again. It’s okay to seek support. The worst thing you can do is blame yourself, so if you find yourself in this self-harm cycle, it may be best to seek professional help.
Change Your Mindset
Our idea of the world impacts how we see it. Take that in for a moment. Your mindset shapes your perception of the world around you. If you have a positive, growth mindset, you will see a world filled with opportunities. When one door closes, another will open. Everything is a learning opportunity, getting you closer to your goal.
On the other hand, if you have a negative mindset, you’ll view the world with scarcity. You think that that was your one shot, and you missed it. You’ll never get the perfect job or find the perfect man again. You assume that everyone is out to get you, and you’re suspicious of everyone and every opportunity that comes your way. Your negative outlook forces you only to see the bad in the world and yourself. It’s that harsh critic that tears you down at every turn.
You need to retrain your brain if you’re learning how to be happy again and get your mojo back-practice mindfulness. You have to teach yourself to adopt a positive mindset. Focus on how you’re doing will help you achieve your goal and move you forward on your journey. You can manifest your dreams through a positive outlook, hard work, dedication, and a little luck.
Create a Support System
Create a support system as you’re trying to get your mojo back and learn how to be happy again. If you have a strong network of family and friends, reach out to them. Lean on them for support during the tough times. They know you the best, so they can offer you advice that’s specific to you and your situation based on their perspective.
If that doesn’t sound appealing, join groups with people going through similar things or with similar interests. Learn from each other and keep each other motivated when times get hard. You may feel comfortable sharing things you wouldn’t want those closest to you to know with strangers because you fear their judgment. Do what you need to do to keep motivated.
Getting your mojo back doesn’t need to be a solo activity. You can work with others to feel your best, as long as you’re not letting someone else define you. Your mojo is personal, just as learning how to be happy again is. No two ways will be the same.
Just Do It
That may be Nike’s tagline, but there’s some science to back it up! Even if you lack the motivation, do it. Once you start an activity, the motivation to continue it will happen organically. You can find a million excuses not to do something; after all, we are our own worst enemies, especially when doing good things (even though those 4 a.m. alarms for the gym don’t feel like they’re good for us).
If you can’t muster up the energy to start task-set goals, create a schedule. Hold yourself accountable for getting it done. Please write it down and look at it every day. Trick yourself into habits and patterns that will keep you moving forward, even when you don’t feel like it at the time. Once those endorphins start pumping, you’ll feel better in no time!
Alexander Burr says in the Hamilton musical, “I am the one thing I can control in life.” You are in control of your actions and actions alone, so if you’re looking to get back your mojo, do it. Take steps that will move you closer to feeling like yourself again. It could be something simple as wearing something that makes you feel confident or taking a risk. If you’ve always wanted to do something like skydiving, now’s your chance. These behaviors can make you feel like you in ways you haven’t in a long time.
Sadly, you’re not just going to wake up one morning and feel happy, free, and 22 years old again. It’s unrealistic to think you’ll wake up and get your mojo back. It takes time and effort. You have to be introspective and think about what mojo means to you and what you’re willing to do to get it back. Don’t be afraid to redefine your mojo as you get older.
It’s up to you to take control of your life and learn how to be happy again. You can’t control other’s people’s behaviors or the world around you. However, you can control how you react and perceive these occurrences – remember, it’s all about shaping your mindset to assume positive intent.