Dating Expert Lucia D. on Breakups, Exs, and Boundaries

Counselor Comforting Upset African American Wife Crying Next To Husband At Couples Therapy. Selective Focus

Lucia D. is a world-renowned expert on relationships and dating. She is highly sought-after and has held many roles in the relationship/dating space including syndicated columnist, keynote speaker, and host of “The Art of Love” radio and television shows. She has also authored two books: No Contact Secrets and Lucia’s Lessons of Love. In this article, she discusses how to get one’s ex back after a breakup while still respecting their decision to have distance.

Six Things to Remember After a Breakup

  1. Whether your ex asks for space after a breakup or not, you shouldn’t be in contact with them anyway. You should immediately go to what’s called, “no contact.” That means that you leave them alone and absolutely do not reach out no matter how miserable you feel. If they want to reach out to you, they will. That’s the only way that you will have a chance at winning them back.

2. Unless you cheated or took your ex for granted, you should never contact an ex when they request space. If you cheated or took your ex for granted (meaning that they weren’t a priority and didn’t feel they were important to you), leave them alone for at least 30 days and then reach out.

3. If an ex asks for space you need to respect their request. By reaching out because you miss them or feel anxious, you’re showing that you don’t care about what they want and are only interested in what you want. This isn’t a great trait to have as a partner.

4. You can respect their request for distance by not texting them, calling them, asking their friends or family about them, or showing up at places where you know they will be.

5. In not respecting an ex-partner’s request for distance, you will actually be pushing them further away and will prove that they made the right decision in breaking up with you in the first place. You are also showing them that you do not respect boundaries and cannot control yourself.

6. If your ex doesn’t respond to your phone calls or text messages for nine months or longer this is a clear sign that they are probably never coming back. Another sign that you have lost them permanently is if they change their contact number and block you on all social media. The most obvious indication that things are over for good is when they take out a restraining order. 


Attribute to Lucia D., dating expert at The Art of Love 

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