The book turned movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, opened the eyes of the entire world when they witnessed one aspect of a couple’s experience with a form of BDSM. It’s also recognized that the Daddy Dom/little girl (DDLG) or the Daddy Kink, is a branch off of the old BDSM sex life tree. However, like with all fictitious settings, there’s exaggerated and one-sided, or biased, storytelling. The story of “Fifty Shades of Grey” is just a story, and one account of the BDSM/ DD/LG that’s more about the erotica than the real-life implications. If you want to fully understand the real ways of the DD/LG or C/l (caregiver/little) relationship that’s not always very erotic at all, come with us and we’ll explain it from all aspects, bust some misinformation about the DDLG community, and show how inclusive it truly is despite the name of the branch of this D/s love affair.
There Are Rules the DDLG Community Lives by
What’s important is that everyone understands that there are rules to the mack daddy of all kinks, the Daddy Kink. First and foremost consent is not optional. That means that the role-play and all that it involves are consented to by every party who plays a role. Consent may be given verbally or by a contract, however, there’s no legal way for anyone under the age of 18 to consent to sex (even if the other partner is a minor, too). Engaging in sex with a minor is illegal with some serious punishments by law enforcement in America. Moreover, within the daddy kink, or any kink community, pedophilia and/or incest are not only frowned upon but will not be tolerated!
So, to recap thus far: The DDLG or C/l role-play requires consent by every party to every party, and a child (newborn to 17 years old) is not physically or emotionally able to consent to any relationship, especially one that’s sexual in nature in America.
Along with consent goes the stereotype that BDSM relationships are brutal or abusive, it’s vital to know that abuse is not okay in any situation nor should it be normalized. What Fifty Shades of Grey did was give a false acceptance of abusing your partner. Even in BDSM relationships, there’s a distinct line between rough sex and abuse. Besides, you’ll see that within the DDLG community and elsewhere that the Daddy Dom (or Mommy Dom) is more apt to be a nurturing, loving, and guiding partner to the little girl or little boy. Nowhere in the Daddy Kink universe is abuse promoted, okayed, or embraced, ever.
And Just So We’re Clear…
Betwixt the branches of the BDSM umbrella group, there are separate kinks that tend to spill over into one another’s teacups. But for the sake of clarity, we’ll separate them for now. There’s age-play, Daddy Dom/little or caregiver/little, age-regression, and adult baby/diaper lover. The Daddy Kink can manifest in many ways, scenarios, role-plays, or sexual or not. It isn’t necessarily always age-play but certainly, age regression is a part of it. It’s important to point out that the Daddy Kink is typically lived out within the security of a loving relationship or a solely romantic relationship.
Let’s go ahead and strip out of those chains that have bound us ever since that dreadfully sexy and brutally untrue movie so you can feel more comfortable indulging in that daddy kink fantasy you may have been denying for far too long.
Kinks That Go Hand-in-Hand With the Daddy Kink
Now, we can start with a few simple definitions of words that you might be curious about.
BDSM [Bondage Discipline (Domination) Sadism (Submission) masochism] This is thought to describe a grant of control then taking it back, using restraints, and inflicting pain in sexual encounters or sexual relationships. However, a kink is completely unique to the people who relate to it. While many people enjoy the BD (bondage and discipline) side of the abbreviation wherein there is a bit of gagging, bondage, whips, and chains, not everyone gets off with the rough sex it implies. Some disciplinarians are more into a gentler style and fall more on the SM (Sadism and masochism), all of which involve some type of sexual dominance or a balance of it.
Age-Play This one is pretty easy to assume that it’s a simple kink that involves an older person and a younger person who have sex together. However, there’s a plentitude of role-playing at hand here, too. Regardless of age or gender, a person can assume an older age while the other assumes a younger age to act out specific fantasies. This is NOT age regression and is totally legal with two consenting adults to play a role. This can be a type of a daddy kink, but mostly it isn’t. This kink can be done totally outside of the DDLG Daddy Kink even without a Dom or sub.
Age regression is more psychologically inclined with the person who plays out a specific age for their caregiver. This is a type of the daddy kink because of course the little girl or little boy/boi needs a Daddy Dom or Mommy Dom to care for the regressed little inside of them.
DDLG or C/l The acronym stands for Daddy Dom/little girl and the other is Caregiver/little. The new and more inclusive acronym, C/l, is a form of BDSM and Daddy Kink. Every “Daddy Kink Kinkster” may take the acronym apart so they can take all or some of the kink that the couple loves and leave the rest. For instance, the most common form of the Caregiver/little is the heterosexual concept of DDLG in which the Daddy Dom or the Mommy Dom is the caretaker, nurturer, disciplinarian and the submissive partner assumes the role of the little girl or little boy/boi. However, a female Dom may feel entirely comfortable assuming the Daddy Dom role of the Daddy Kink and fit the bill perfectly while the next one may resonate with the Mommy Dom name and role best. There are so many ways that the DDLG C/l kinksters have found what works for them that may not be the others’ cup of tea. Some members of the Daddy Kink community may live out the age-play or the age regression kink but not in a sexually motivated manner. As for the majority, though, it’s a big fat sexy kink!
AB/DL The Adult Baby Diaper Lover is a kink and then, it’s not at all a kink. It depends on the one participating in the scenario. Some kinksters may involve diaper changing and the love it takes to do so in their Daddy Dom/little girl type of daddy kink. However, many people find it therapeutic or comforting to wear a diaper and to urinate and make a bowel movement in the diapers and to have them changed by the caregiver or Dom for the regressed little.
Pet Play In this kink that is a branch off the old BDSM tree, many kinksters that dwell in the DDLG and Caregiver/little community thoroughly enjoy the pet play kink. Although many kinksters don’t identify with the daddy kink at all, they may enthusiastically participate in the pet play kink. With the help of a furry costume, a submissive can transform onself into a loving or naughty puppy, kitty, or rabbit. The pet owner is the daddy Dom or just dom without a parental title.
Expert licensed sex therapist, Brooke Sprowl LCSW of MyLATherapy.com adds to the good fight for good and exciting sex with these encouraging statistics, “BDSM and predilections to kink are actually not as rare as you would think! [About] ’47 percent of women and 60 percent of men have fantasized about dominating someone sexually,’ according to a study in The Journal of Sex Research. BDSM is far from a new phenomenon. In fact, BDSM has been mentioned throughout history in Sanskrit Texts, ancient Greek and Roman art, and erotic French novels—all showing ‘pain being used as an erotic stimulus.'”
Who’s Your Daddy?
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, you may have a better understanding of the Daddy Kink and what DDLG life is truly about. You know the Daddy Kink rules, the acronyms, and what all the kinks are generally about. Now, it’s time to meet Daddy Dom. What makes a perfect Daddy Dom for his/her little? And, no, we don’t mean daddydom, we mean, Daddy Dom!
When we speak about our Daddy Dom, we’re never referring to any real parental figures, or the things that being a parental “daddy” entails. It’s very important that everyone knows and sees the difference in print.
When people want to know what characteristics build a perfect, or a close to perfect Daddy Dom, the answer is; 1) entirely subjective, and 2) the question poses many possible answers, not just one simple answer. But we’re here to answer it all for you right here and now. In the most generic way that is the most mainstream way of living the daddy kink lifestyle, the Daddy Dom will take on all of the traits of a nurturing, loving role. (S)he’ll be a being a guiding light for his or her little. However, in most romantic relationships that fall in the DDLG community, the Daddy Dom will also take on the role of the disciplinarian, or the Dom. Here are a few traits in action.
Daddy Dom: The Nurturer
Whether the rules of the individual relationship entail a romantic relationship, a purely sexual relationship, or a loving relationship without the implication of sexual activity, the Daddy Dom is first and foremost a nurturing constant in the life of their little girl/little boy or boi. Without a nurturing Daddy Dom, the whole relationship wouldn’t even exist. A little can’t live without someone to give her or him the love and attention that he or she needs. A Daddy Dom or Mommy Dom simply should facilitate their little’s little space by providing the accessories and clothing that puts her or him in “little space.” (S)he may provide things like an adult-sized pacifier, bottle, or sippy cup from which your little can drink juice, milk, or whatever makes her or him feel little. (S)he may provide onesies, rompers, dresses, and all the accessories like headbands, toys like bath toys, regular toys, and even sex toys. (S)he will listen to her or him intently and play with her/him or at least supervise her/him as (s)he plays independently. A Daddy Dom or Mommy Dom should be ready with wise advice and give the little ones their undivided attention. This is vital to form the bond you need in order to have full trust in one another. While the tangible things can be provided by the little outside of their little space, the nurturing and full support of the little is solely on the Daddy Dom or Mommy Dom!
Daddy Dom: The Lover of All Things About His Little
In most DDLG relationships, the daddy Dom/Mommy Dom is not only infatuated with their little girl or little boy/boi but he or she loves their little unconditionally and wants the best for their little girl/boy/boi. Besides the sexual relationship between the Daddy Dom and the little, the love must cover all bases. You, as the Daddy Dom or the Mommy Dom, are responsible for her or his safety, decisions, emotional state, and everything for which a real little would depend on you. You will be the light of her/his life. You never break her trust; you always will be on time and there for her while in her or his little space. When the relationship is a more romantic relationship or a sexual relationship, you’ll provide that too, free of judgment. If you’ve yet to notice, the DDLG relationship is mostly about your little girl/boy/boi.
Daddy Dom: The Disciplinarian
When you explore the kink in a sexual light, you may discover that being the disciplinarian may be a lead-in to sex. While that is a widely used tactic, you as the Daddy Dom will want to follow your little’s lead. When he or she begins to act naughty, it’s just the beginning. She may want to be a bratty little and she or he may want to push all of your buttons before opening up the cash register if you catch our drift. Being bratty, though, may not be the only cause for disciplining your little. Just as a natural daddy would need to do for their child, you may need to rescue her from risky situations, and of course, admonish her or him for the naughty risky behavior. In an already established relationship, the Daddy Dom will know the ins and outs of their little girl or little boy/boi. The already built trust and respect in an established sexual relationship will give the Daddy Dom more leeway into introducing her or him to new activities whether they be sexual, or non-sexual activities. The more non-sexual activities the Daddy Dom engages in with the little, the more chances and desire of their little to engage in more sexual encounters with them. The main gist is that there must be this trait in a Daddy Dom whether the Daddy Dom likes it or not, or you’ll have a spoiled rotten little on your hands to the point of your little girl or little boy/boi having zero respect for you. At this point in the relationship, the relationship is in shambles.
Every Little Wants to Be Spoiled
If you are only in it for the dominant/submissive part of the relationship, then perhaps you’re not getting the whole gist of the actual DDLG relationship. The DDLG or C/l relationship IS a relationship in most instances no matter how it’s run. However, if the little doesn’t get what she or he wants, you’re going to be in a world of bratty mess so you’re likely to oblige anyway. No matter if the people in the relationship are sexual with one another or not, the basic guidelines are that the Daddy Dom strives to be at the beck and call and spoils their little! So, you should have a basic idea of how to get your potential little to try the DDLG kink out with you tonight- spoil her and spoil her good with binkies and onesies and really cute little world furniture, bedding, accessories, the whole 9 yards!
Make Her Your Little, Today
We have gladly provided the complete rulebook to have a happy and safe DDLG or C/l relationship with a trusted and legal-aged partner, so start it off. You can start the talk slowly, or you can bring home the stuff to make her or him feel special and little right off the bat. You should know your partner and what works for you and them. You may be totally caught off guard when your partner has already been reading this same article and waiting for her or his Daddy Dom to take charge! Be aware of her or his feelings and know that there are many kinks that you can partake in with your partner.