Exploring compatibility in an INFP INFJ relationship

Are you in the top 1-3%? That's right – only 1%-3% of the population is considered an INFJ on the Meyers-Briggs scale. INFP folks nearly tie this number, coming in at being the dominant personality code of roughly 4% of the population. Personality is a defining factor of who we are as human beings – which is why the Meyers-Briggs scale can be especially useful in determining things such as INFP INFJ relationship compatibility. Using the Meyers-Briggs also allows you to evaluate potential relationship problems and new methods of communication to make your relationship even more enjoyable. This article will cover the unique facets of the INFJ and INFP personality types in INFP INFJ relationships and explore compatibilities and differences between the two classes in INFP INFJ  relationships.  

Qualities of an INFJ in an INFP INFJ Relationship

What does an INFJ stand for using the Meyers-Briggs scale? An INFJ displays four key personality determinants: Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, & Judgement. While INFJ dominating personality-driven tendencies rule no person, these categories and preferences can significantly impact our personal and professional relationships. INFJ's are also known as "Advocates" or "Idealists" and enjoy meaningful relationships with others – specifically ones where they can intervene, help, or emotionally connect with others. Does this sound familiar? If so, you may resonate with the "F" component of the INFJ…feeling.  If you are an INFJ, you may also feel quite introverted – and draw your energy from alone time rather than being in a group. Certain solo activities may recharge you, such as reading, artistic ventures like drawing, or any other activity that allows you to lean into yourself and relax. Contrary to popular belief, introverts are not averse to social situations or larger groups. Many people believe this is a common misconception, which can lead to incorrect typing on the Meyers-Briggs scale when dealing with INFJ INFP relationships. Introverts prefer to be rejuvenated intrinsically and separately from a group – they can quickly rejoin once they are refreshed by time alone. In an INFP INFJ relationship, this can often be accomplished by parallel interaction – enjoying different activities alongside each other, such as reading a book or watching movies of your preference. While some may feel lonely in a relationship, this type of activity can bring immense peace and intimacy to an INFP INFJ relationship.  The "N" in INFJ stands for intuition. If you are an INFJ, this could mean you are the type to go with your gut feelings and rely on your intuition to form your view of the world. This type of thinking can lead to deeply rooted belief systems, biases, and thought patterns in INFJ. If this is your dominant way of thinking, you may also find yourself experiencing a single-track focus on specific patterns or thoughts. This can present some tension in an INFP INFJ relationship.  The tunnel-vision approach to problem-solving and assessing allows intuitively-minded individuals to have the time needed to process and assign a belief or feeling to that thought – relying on their intuition to class and assign these properly. These folks are often very passionate, and people can show intuition-based processes in many forms. Sometimes, this may look like activism for external causes, strong political or religious affiliations, or the ability to assess people or situations quickly. There is often joint effort and influence in an INFP INFJ relationship, which informs daily decisions.  The "F" in INFJ represents feeling. This INFJ representation doesn't mean you are solely emotionally driven. Instead, this can mean you are a global thinker, compassionate, and empathetic. When you make your decisions, you tend to consider the large-scale implications. You are conscious of each action and its reciprocal action and consider the consequences not only for yourself – but for others. This can be a vital asset in an INFP INFJ relationship. These types of individuals gravitate to client-centered businesses, such as counseling or community support roles. This personality type showcases the strength, leadership, and big-picture thinking all common with entrepreneurs and empathizers. This trait can be compelling in INFP INFJ relationships, as the feeling inclination between the two can create an unbeatable connection with passionate intimacy. If this sounds like you, you may be an INFJ.  The INFJ closes its classification with "J" – standing for judgment. While it is easy to confuse this trait with being judgemental, the two are not related. Judgment, in this case, represents an INFJ's ability to make impactful and correct decisions. INFJ's tend to find order and serenity in rules, processes, and correctly made decisions. Their intuition and capacity to empathize and "feel" while creating and evaluating judgments make them influential leaders and highly intimate and caring partners. This is a strong contrast to an INFP in an INFP INFJ relationship.  Judgment, in this case, does not hold its negative implication – but instead gives way to a more decisive and ordered way of life that the INFJ exists in best. People in an INFP INFJ relationship can use this knowledge to their advantage and work jointly with their partners to make decisions and create a life routine.  Common career choices and areas where you may find an INFJ in an INFP INFJ relationship are in society-facing roles. This could look like human resources, higher education, medical field professionals such as doctors or nurses, or softer psychology jobs, such as counselors or psychologists. You will notice INFJ's gravitate to roles that allow their innate skill and tendencies to shine and help as many people as possible, thanks to their "intuition" and "feeling" elements. INFJ's in an INFJ INFP relationship can find great satisfaction in honoring their innate drive to be creative, helpful, connective and showcase their big-picture thinking on the job. 

Couple considering compatibility

Qualities of an INFP in an INFP INFJ  Relationship

The INFP relationship classification begins with the "I" for introversion. While in an INFP INFJ relationship, couples should consider listing out preferences for activities, both together and alone. Honoring the need for collaborative introversion (i.e., sharing the space while doing different activities of your unique interests) can bring a sense of individuality and rejuvenation to both people in the INFP INFJ relationship. It also helps the couple avoid the potential of exhaustion and burnout, which can happen with prolonged exposure to social activities with no time to rejuvenate. Similar to the INFJ, the INFP also is typed with the "N" for intuition. Both members of the relationship in an INFJ INFP relationship share this quality. Intuition can be a powerful driver for decision-making and can streamline the process significantly. Intuition can be a tool for decision-making when used in conjunction with the "feeling" type between the two INFJ INFP personality profiles. The consideration that members of this personality type should make is to consider all rational elements of a situation and not be entirely driven by their emotions or ties to a problem. This can be a risk in a more high-risk or emotionally charged case and can create emotional distortions. With people who lean more toward the "T" (Thinking) in the Meyers-Briggs scale, this can be the opposite, where they work solely in objectivity and fail to consider the emotional implications of a decision. This can be a cause for strain in an INFP INFJ relationship.  In an INFP INFJ relationship, these three similar qualities can lead to a very selfless and communicative relationship, establishing strong patterns of consideration, selflessness, and emotional attachment. This can ultimately lead to higher trust and intimacy over a short amount of time, often leading to very intense, very involved, and passionate relationships.  Closing out the INFP classification is the "P" element – best known for perception. This is commonly misconstrued as a very disorganized, "fly by the seat of the pants" type of quality in an INFP INFJ relationship. This couldn't be further from the truth! This designation ("P" – perceiving vs. "J" – judging) explains what you do and how you react to the world and environment around you. When you are a perceiver-driven type, you will find yourself wanting to assess all available options. This quality can provide a new level of depth in an INFJ INFP relationship.  You may even find yourself empowered by the decision-making process, eliminating what doesn't serve you while leaning into your intuition. However, as a perceiver with a "feeling" and "intuition" element, you could also find yourself craving a resolution. Your attempts to find that resolution may be undermined by any underlying anxiety or insecurity in your decision-making process, which is where some of the strengths of an INFP INFJ relationship can truly shine. These complementary types can work through some of the most challenging situations with clear communication and care.  As a perceiver, you may also find yourself leaning into the mystery of life. Rather than feeling threatened by the "unforeseen" just around the corner, you may find yourself empowered, excited, and ready to dive into whatever your destiny holds for you. These types are often considered big dreamers and don't let themselves get bogged down by the constraints of reality. The "P" for perceiving element is one of the most substantial assets that INFP types hold. Because of this and their natural "intuition" and "feeling" preferences, you will likely find INFP's in an INFP INFJ relationship in creatively-driven fields. They can truly shine in this capacity, as they can highlight their creativity and true vision based on what they see in their mind's eye. You'll likely find that many graphic designers, fashion designers, editors, and project managers are INFP's. Their unique perspective is vital to preserving the creativity we see laced in nearly every aspect of society. Young black couple sitting together on couch in living room drinking coffee and talking in the morning, low angle, full length

Exploring the Benefits of the INFP INFJ Relationship 

As you may imagine, the INFP INFJ relationship is compatible in multiple ways. You have both individuals in an INFP INFJ relationship with a matching introversion tendency, allowing for intimate bonding and less contention when planning socialization opportunities and personal time. This alone can remove stress from a relationship. It will enable both members to feel the comfort of simply being themselves and thriving in an INFP INFJ relationship.  Both are also very empathetic and highly driven by feeling. This can lead to very passionate exchanges and a lifetime of intimacy. If you are in an INFP INFJ relationship, you may enjoy a depth of relationship you may not have experienced with other people. This comes from your close alignment with the intuition and feeling components of the INF- classification in an INFP INFJ relationship.  These types are incredibly compatible because of their intuitive focus on patterns and feelings within a relationship. This can help you feel understood in new ways, almost like you are fully discovered in a way that you never have before. You may feel seen on a deeper level and will find communication happens quickly between you. Both the INFP INFJ types seek to understand and be understood, which can lead to a certain depth of conversation and frequent listening opportunities as you navigate the realm of your relationship – together.  Emotional intimacy will generally lead to more passionate and intricate physical intimacy. You can expect your partner will meet your needs, and both of you will refine your sexual preferences and needs over time. This will come with clear communication, listening, and experimentation on both parties. Because both INF-types in an INFP INFJ relationship enjoy pattern analysis and investigation for the most powerful impact, this directly correlates to work, practice, and loving in the bedroom. You can show love in a new way to your partner in an INFP INFJ relationship by paying attention to their preferences and passions and serving their sexual needs before (or alongside) your own.  If you are experiencing difficulties in the bedroom, don't be alarmed. This can happen due to unresolved trauma, frustration, or distraction. You can avoid this negatively impacting an INFP INFJ relationship by creating an honest and open dialogue of reassurance. Being truthful and up-front about your struggles can create another layer of intimacy and help you both overcome any struggles you may have – either emotionally or physically, in an INFP INFJ relationship.  If you are the INFJ in an INFP INFJ relationship, be prepared to explore – both sexually and otherwise! An INFP in an INFP INFJ relationship is known for being explorative and open to whatever options exist It can provide an avenue of exploration that the INFJ can experiment within until they feel confident to navigate some of the twists turns in a relationship with confidence. INFP's in an INFP INFJ relationship are greatly intrigued by romance and love the ability to grow with their partner. Suppose both of you begin the process of opening up and including each other in your more introverted or private moments. In that case, you can unlock an even higher level of closeness in your relationship.  This also allows you to find new hobbies and explore other interests. When you enter into an INFP INFJ relationship, you can learn to expect the unexpected. You may even end up walking away with a new hobby or interest! You can work to grow an INFP INFJ relationship by showing interest in their particular activities or passions and participating alongside them in the capacity that you both feel comfortable with. 

Couple holding hands

Potential Pitfalls in an INFP INFJ Relationship

From assessing both personalities in an INFP INFJ relationship, it is evident that both personality types align strongly with the ultimate goal of bettering the world around them. This can be simply in the home or relationship space's microcosm and expand to the global stage. The potential difficulties in an INFP INFJ relationship lie in how the couple chooses to make decisions – and the possible disagreements resulting from the decision-making process. This is to be expected and can be overcome in an INFP INFJ relationship.  For example, an INFJ in an INFP INFJ relationship is likely to be making methodical decisions and act as they feel confident in their process. This can be particularly abrasive to an INFP type, as they prefer to evaluate all options and proceed with caution. This is the tendency of most INFP-classed partners, as they can be trapped in analysis paralysis. Such independent and confident decision-making may make them feel threatened, or unheard. If this sounds like you, or like something you have experienced, you can work to address these types of problems in the relationship when they occur. Doing this, while uncomfortable at first, can provide the groundwork of an open, honest, and authentic relationship.  INFJ's should be mindful of how they may come across to INFP's when it comes to making big decisions. INFJ's naturally lean on their own intuition. While the "F" component of the INF-type does indicate they generally consider larger-scale implications of decisions, they can often overlook the feelings of a partner. If you are an INFJ, consider communicating clearly with your partner, and taking their opinion into account. It may require additional coaxing, as your INFP partner may be slow to bring up potential areas of conflict in your relationship.  This reluctance to bring up critical topics is not exclusive to the INFP – both types may be hesitant to address true issues in the relationship because they do not want to compromise the intimacy they have found. Because both types are initially classed with the INF framework, avoiding issues can lead to larger problems down the road. It is imperative to begin the relationship honestly, and tackle any disagreements as they come to keep them from escalating.

Relationships are Beautifully Complex 

If you are in an INFP INFJ relationship, you likely relate to the beautiful depth and complexity that both parties bring to the table. You compliment each other well and likely enjoy strong emotional and physical intimacy. These types of relationships are built to last. INFP INFJ relationships are built on joint introversion, strong intuitive properties, willingness to embrace feelings of all types, and the ability to actively listen to each other's needs. 

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