We’ve all seen an incredible sex scene on TV where the couples seem to mesh perfectly. Their rhythm is in tune, and their sex sounds almost make you feel like you’re right there with them. They come in harmony with ear-splitting moans of pleasure. It’s easy to lose yourself in the moment with them. Afterward, you may start comparing your own sex life with what you’ve seen on TV – and it’ll likely look lackluster in comparison.
The woman has such an earth-shattering orgasm that you can hear it a mile away, while the man comes so hard he’s seeing stars and can’t move. Over time, you’ve learned that you’re not enjoying it if you don’t have these picturesque moments and make wild sex sounds. Rationally, you know that’s not the case, but it’s hard to convince yourself otherwise with all the evidence to the contrary.
Unfortunately, sex sounds on TV are highly curated. There’s even a sex sound library that producers can draw from to ensure they get the perfect sound. So, if you don’t sound like a porn star in the bedroom, that’s okay. Let’s go over what sex sounds are and how to make them, so you know better for the future. The important part is to make sex noises that feel right for you – faking it is never a good option. Sex sounds are unique to you and your partner, and you should never try to compare or live up to someone else’s noises.
What are Sex Sounds?
Sex sounds are the noises that you make while having sex. They can be voluntary or involuntary, and they serve as a form of communication during the moment. You moan if you’re feeling good. You groan if you’re exerting a lot of energy. In “The Science of Orgasm,” Barry Komisaruk suggests that sex sounds are a natural response. Sex expends a lot of energy, so any sound results from your body working overtime.
If you’re carried away, the noises you’ll hear are natural. You may start to breathe heavily or grunt in pleasure. The sounds of skin-on-skin slapping will cheer you on, almost like clapping to encourage you to reach the finish line. So often, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do everything perfectly while making love that it’s challenging to perform at all.
Don’t stress out about your sex sounds. You don’t have to scream and writhe in pleasure each time. If you’re more of a silent partner, that’s okay too. The last thing you want to do is fake it. Many women report that they’ll fake their sex sounds to help speed up their partner’s climax; however, that robs you both of pleasure. Sex should be an act of intimacy and connection, not something you should rush through to get done.
Never use your sex sounds as a manipulation tactic. Your partner will feel betrayed, and it will be hard to regain trust and intimacy. Sex noises should encourage your partner to keep going or adjust their pace and positioning. When something feels good, make it known. If you need your partner to stop, tell him. Communication during sex can be both nonverbal through sex sounds and verbal through words.
The Most Common Sex Sounds
Sex sounds should come naturally to you, so don’t force them if they don’t feel right. Don’t spend so much time in your head trying to make the right sound that you miss out on the activity at hand. Here are 12 of the most common sex sounds and what they may mean to you or your partner when heard. After all, what we don’t say still speaks volumes.
Moans and groans of pleasure are among the most common sex sounds in the bedroom. For you, it’s a stress-free sound because you don’t have to use words to convey how you’re feeling. For your partner, it’s an ego boost because they like hearing that they’ve reduced you to guttural sounds.
Consider if it’s a hot day, and you get an ice cream cone. When you take that first lick, you moan in delight. It hits the perfect spot, and you can’t help yourself. That’s precisely what it’s like to moan during sex. Your partner is making you feel so good that you are reduced to making unintelligible sounds. This copulatory vocalization will send spasms of pleasure through your partner because they feel confident knowing they are making you feel good.
If dirty talk isn’t your thing, you can let the sex sounds do the talking for you, and moaning is an effortless way to tell your partner they are hitting the right buttons without needing to say it to them directly. Because it’s so easy to do, many people have been taught to fake it. Their partners will reach climax faster if you urge them on with facetious noises. While that may work, it’s not ideal. Your partner will never learn what gets you off, and you’ll be unfulfilled after each sex session.
Another nonverbal cue that you can pay attention to is breathing. How you and your partner breathe can say a lot about how they’re enjoying the sex and how close they are to the edge. Is your partner panting? Shallow breathing with short gasps in between? You may have knocked the breath out of them with your sexual prowess, and their body is working overtime to try to keep up.
Maybe they are heavy breathing with deep breaths. In this case, you’ve likely tried them out to exhaustion, and they’re trying to calm down so they can keep going. Jagged, irregular breathing can indicate the same thing. Your partner has almost reached their max, but they’re not ready to climax, so they’re trying to push through.
Maybe you notice your partner gasping, taking short intakes of breath after something catches them off guard. Gasps can indicate many different things, and some are contradictory, so it’s essential to pay attention to your partner’s body language. They can gasp in pleasure. Maybe you moved your body differently or stroked in a new way that sent chills up their spine. They were caught off guard at that moment, and that short intake of breath means they liked what happened.
Gasps can also indicate pain. Maybe you went too fast, and your partner wasn’t prepared for penetration, or something didn’t feel right with the last movement. Perhaps they thrust so hard that they had a back spasm. You can tell the subtle difference in gasps of pleasure and pain in your partner during sex. Pain is usually accompanied by a wincing or tightening of their bodies.
If you’re confused about what your partner’s breathing means, you can always ask them in the moment if everything is alright or if they want you to stop. If they say no, you can revisit after the sex is over, too, just to ensure all is well.
Men will more naturally grunt during sex, but don’t take these sounds as ones of dissatisfaction. Instead, grunts are often paired with thrusts, in time with the motion you and your partner make. These are usually involuntary. You’re so lost in the moment that you’re reduced to animalistic sounds that convey you’re having a good time. It takes going primal to the next level.
Grunts can also indicate discomfort, so take stock of your partner’s body. If they suddenly feel tense, then they may be feeling pain. It’s acceptable to ask your partner if they’d like you to stop. If they say yes, that doesn’t mean the fun has to stop. You need to find a new position that works for you and your partner.
Don’t be embarrassed if your sound of choice during sex is a grunt. You’re getting in touch with your caveman roots to share how much fun you’re having. If you try to suppress the sound, you’re taking away energy from the act of sex, so you must let your body move and react how it’s comfortable.
If you’ve ever taken a big, last drink from a straw, trying to savor every last drop from a glass before it’s empty, you know what it sounds like to slurp. It’s a wet, saliva-filled sound that can be grating in some circumstances, but during sex, it can be downright erotic. This is especially true if there’s oral sex involved.
To glide the penis in and out of your mouth, you need to use a lot of saliva. Also, if your partner is going down on you, you’ll hear the slurping as he sucks on your clit while penetrating you with his fingers. These sounds will compound if you’re working on each other simultaneously. These wet sounds indicate how much fun you’re having, especially if you’re a girl. The wetter you are, the more turned on you are. You can’t fake the slurping sounds like you can a moan.
Penetrative sex can also sound like slurping when the penis enters the body. The wetter you are, the more it’ll glide on in with ease. You’ll hear the wetness, but if you need help, you can always use a lubricant. This offers its own unique sex sounds – rummaging in the drawer, flicking off the cap, squirting it in your hands, and slathering it on the penis. Sex is a multi-sensory experience only heightened by the many sex sounds played out like an erotic symphony.
These aren’t the same slapping noises you’ll hear if you hit someone who’s irritated you. Instead, slapping noises during sex are the skin-on-skin noises that happen when your flesh meets your partner’s. His hips will meet yours with each thrust, and your rhythm will create a new soundtrack.
If you’re doing it doggie style, your partner may also smack your ass to heighten your pleasure. This slapping sound will crack through the room, sending increased blood flow to the spot that was hit. Your sensitivity will rise, and the sensations during sex will shift. Always get your partner’s consent before you spank them, no matter how light you hit them.
Slapping sounds are erotic, and you should never be ashamed of how your bodies fit together during sex. Some people’s bodies will make more sex sounds than others because they have more body mass. That’s normal and part of what makes sex with your partner so special.
Some people squeal with delight during sex. They love what’s happening to their bodies so much that they make high-pitched sex sounds of delight. Typically women make squealing noises, accompanied by gasps of delight right before toe-curling orgasms.
If you do not squeal in life over things that make you ecstatic, likely, you will not squeal during sex. Squealing isn’t akin to a pig’s squeal. Instead, it’s a pure sound of happiness and joy that should be celebrated during sex.
If you or your partner are extremely vocal during sex, screaming may be one of your go-to sex sounds. You’ve lost yourself in abandon to the sensations you’re feeling, and the only way you can truly vocalize them is to scream them out. Your voice will be hoarse afterward, but it’s worth it for the pleasure you experienced.
If you have neighbors, they may call the cops for a noise complaint if you can’t keep it down. Moderate your volume if you live in apartments or close to other people. Screaming can easily be confused for something negative without the proper context. They can’t always know it’s sex sounds and not something wrong. Like murder.
Cats are often found purring when they’re completely content and relaxed at the moment because they feel so good. Humans are no different, and if you can make these sex sounds, you may start to purr during the horizontal (or vertical) slide. Maybe he used a new sex toy that hit the G-spot, or you’re so turned on that you can’t wait for him to come inside you. Purr for that cream pie, baby!
The deep, visceral sound is one of true pleasure. If you make it once, your partner will be finding new ways that you can reach those heights again.
Sometimes you lose yourself in the moment that your sex sounds will make you sound like a drunken sailor. You’ll be swearing incoherently because it feels so good. Think of it as light dirty talk when you tell your partner that what they’re doing feels so fucking good. Utter swear words in-between nonverbal sounds to drive them forward.
These moments indicate a loss of control. You’re simply saying whatever crosses your mind to keep it going and reach climax. Even afterward, you may not be able to say anything but swear words – and that’s a good thing. The less coherent, the better! They don’t say “fuck me stupid” for nothing.
Not everyone feels comfortable with dirty talk, but if you do, it’s a great way to take your sex to the next level. Tell your partner exactly how they’re making you feel in detail. Share with them all the things you want to do to them and how you plan to follow through. The more detailed you can be during dirty talk, the better.
You’ll work the both of you up into a frenzy with these sex sounds. Words are powerful aphrodisiacs, and there are few things hotter than a person confident in saying what they want in the bedroom.
You and your partner may need to keep it down, so you can’t loudly proclaim how good it feels. That doesn’t mean you have to be silent, though. Whisper how good it feels or what you’d like your partner to do. If you can’t keep it down, your partner may need to put their hand over your mouth to muffle the sounds. Yeah. Hot, right (*fans self*)?
Whispering may enhance the pleasure because you may get caught if you’re too loud. Instead, you have to get creative in urging your partner on during sex.
Some people prefer silence in the bedroom, letting their bodies do the talking for them. Not all silence has to be awkward, so share with your partner if you want to be quiet and relish the moment. When you’re not focused on other noises, you’ll feel the other sensations throughout your body more strongly. While silence is the absence of sounds, it’s still an important sex sound with a time and a place in the bedroom.
How to Make Sex Sounds?
There’s no right or wrong way to make sex sounds, so do what feels right to you. If something felt unexpectedly good, let out a gasp of pleasure. If you’re close, tell your partner not to stop. While porn stars make their living moaning and screaming in pleasure, you live in the real world.
Sex sounds don’t need to be theatrical, and if you’re worried about making them wrong, you’re not doing it right. You’re spending too much time in your head worrying rather than experiencing. As long as you’re not faking it, your sex sounds are exactly as they should be.