The first date can be awkward – small talk, silences, and nervous behaviors. Whether you met on a dating app, through online dating, or in-person organically, the dating process is like a job interview. You’re trying to see if you’re a fit for each other, covering the essential topics to see if your interests mesh together when considering what to talk about on a second date.
Suppose you’ve made it through the first round, congratulations! The second date is where it starts to get fun, though you may be wondering what to talk about on a second date. You still want to keep the conversation light and don’t start airing your dirty laundry just yet, but you can discuss deeper topics to make sure you connect on an emotional level.
If you’re at a loss for what to talk about on a second date, here are some examples of what to discuss, avoid, and some best behaviors to make the most of your 2nd date.
What to Talk About on a Second Date?
The second date is all about getting to know your date on a deeper level so that you can discuss their likes, dislikes, passions, hopes, dreams, and popular culture. Their past, family, and favorite memories can also be topics of conversation, though you want to keep it surface level. It’s a little soon to start talking about emotional baggage and former relationships. You’re starting a new relationship, so try to start fresh without being haunted by the past.
If there were topics from your first date that you want to keep chatting about, bring them up! It’s great to have inside jokes from the start as they will help you feel closer together. Let the conversation flow organically, and listen more than you talk. Ask follow-up questions to delve deeper. You’ll learn more about your date this way, and it will help the conversation feel less awkward.
Ultimately, you want to be yourself, but make it clear that you’re into them. Some dates may need encouragement, so be flirty, touch them, and laugh at their jokes. Lean into them and let your body language speak volumes. What to talk about on a second date is as much about what you say as what you do. Only then will you guarantee the third date and more, so much so that you’ll lose track of what date number it is.
Conversation Topics for a Second Date
It may feel paralyzing to think about what to talk about on a second date. On the first date, you talked about a lot of basic questions. You got to know a little about them and what they do for a living. You found each other attractive and interesting enough to meet again, but now what?
What to talk about on a second date doesn’t have to be scary and awkward. You can discuss endless topics on your date, but here are seven suggestions of what to talk about on a second date to get you started. When you bring up a conversation topic, ask questions based on their answers to learn more.
Don’t jump from topic to topic like a checklist when considering what to talk about on a second date. It will feel more like an interview than a date, and you’ll feel anxious and disappointed. Take a deep breath, project confidence, and start talking. If the date is going well, you’ll have a hard time stopping after a while!
Bring Something Up from First Date
One of the best ways to start a conversation on your second date is to bring up something from your first date. Did your date recommend a music artist to check out? Did you read a book or article based on their suggestion? Bringing it up on the second date will show that you were paying attention, cared enough to look into it further, and wanted to share your opinions on a topic that’s important to them.
If you suggested something for your date to check out, don’t bring it up if they don’t. You don’t want to put your date on the spot and embarrass them if they did not look into it after the date. If this is the case, don’t panic. It would not be a red flag unless they promised to do it before the next date. They may have forgotten or didn’t share the same opinion, so they don’t want to discuss it. There are many reasons why they didn’t follow through – they may not have gotten the hint they were supposed to.
Bringing up something from the first date can make you seem thoughtful and engaged, so consider following up if you’re really into your date when thinking about what to talk about on a second date. It will show initiative and commitment right from the start.
Ask about your date’s favorite things. It could be their favorite movies, TV shows, games, books, music, etc. If they have any hobbies, ask how they got into them. These are all perfect second-date questions. The point is to be interested in what interests them. You don’t have to fawn over their every whim, but learning about what they are passionate about can tell you a lot when considering what to talk about on a second date.
If they’re a number one sports team fan, they’re very competitive. They’ll be unavailable when the team is playing, so you’ll need to schedule plans around the games if you want his undivided attention. If you’re not into sports, that’s okay! Asking questions will help you get to know the person better, but you don’t have to share all the same interests. That’s what keeps things interesting.
Hopes and Dreams
Without getting too deep, you can start to ask questions about the future. What are their hopes and dreams? If they could pick their ideal career, what would it be? What do they dream about achieving? These questions are a fantastic way to ask about their stance on marriage and children without asking about it directly. It may feel too soon to level set on future expectations when considering what to talk about on a second date, but you can hint around it.
Depending on what they share, you can infer much about their priorities. If they share more about their career, they are more focused on their professional growth. That could be because that’s all they have control of, or it could be their priority is getting financially secure before settling down. Please make sure you feel good about your hopes and dreams and how they fit together.
Your wants will evolve, especially as a couple, but if there are dealbreakers for you, it’s essential to cover them from the start. Neither partner should try to change the other if their priorities aren’t aligned.
If you’re struggling with small talk when considering what to talk about on a second date, go for a safe topic: popular culture. Not everyone will share the same interests, but you could talk about the latest Netflix TV show that everyone is buzzing about or how you feel about casting the newest superhero movie. These are all safe topics that can help move the conversation along, and you’ll learn if your tastes are compatible.
Politics and religion can be tricky topics to discuss when considering what to talk about on a second date. If they are important to you, you’ll want to bring them up casually. If they aren’t dealbreakers, you can hold off any potentially problematic discussions. Not all couples who are a good match need to agree with all political stances, and strong marriages have lasted with opposing views. However, it is essential to consider what your beliefs mean to you and if it’s worth potentially turning off a date by discussing them.
Another topic to consider when thinking about what to talk about on a second date is their past. Don’t dig into deep, dark secrets, but ask surface-level questions about what made them the person they are today. Did they play sports in high school? What was their college major, and did it land them a career, or did they take another path?
The past can be a fun way to learn about your partner, so ask them to tell you a funny story. If their friends could describe them in one word, what would it be and why? Listen and laugh. It will provide great insight into their story. Everyone has different chapters of their lives, but it’s all part of personal growth. The past may be dead, but it’s never far away from impacting the decisions we make today, so it’s a great topic to consider when thinking about what to talk about on a second date.
Family dynamics can be challenging, so pay attention to how your date talks about his family. If he’s close to his parents, siblings, and extended family, ask about them. Keep it surface level when thinking about what to talk about on a second date. You don’t want to feel like you’re prying too much; however, family stories can be fun ways to learn a new side of your date.
Did they go fishing as a child? Were they obsessed with a Disney movie? Even if you’ve done all the social media stalking, don’t ask about specific relatives unless they bring them up. You don’t want to come across too much like a stalker. Instead, be curious about the family dynamics. Ask what role they play in their family. The answer can tell you how they manage relationships and resolve conflict, which is why this is a great topic when considering what to talk about on a second date.
Reflecting on the past will bring up a lot of nostalgic feelings, so take advantage of it and ask about their happiest childhood memories. Was there a favorite trip they took as a child? Who was their best friend? Did they have pets growing up? Hopefully, these memories will be seeped in positivity, helping you keep the conversation going.
What to talk about on a second date should leave your partner feeling happy if you want there to be a third date. You don’t want to make them uncomfortable, so respect their decisions if they shut down any favorite memories’ talk. You don’t know them well enough to encourage them to confront their demons.
What Not To Talk About On a Second Date
Now that you know what to talk about on a second date let’s discuss what to avoid. If you cover too many of these topics, your date may not think you’re ready for a relationship. Don’t hide who you are, but you always want to put your best self forward by avoiding these topics when considering what to talk about on a second date.
You can be vulnerable on a second date, but don’t lay it all on the table. We are all a product of our past, loaded with emotional baggage and trauma. Who we are now is the person we became after dealing with all of that. However, being too forthright can be off-putting. Your date may feel like you’re looking to them to fix a problem or fill a void in your life, which is not their responsibility.
Starting every sentence with “my therapist says” can be a turn-off to a date because they may think you have a lot of issues, though it is a benefit that you’re getting help. Seeking therapy is not anything to be ashamed of doing. It’s a sign of tremendous personal growth that you’re investing in yourself, your mental health, and overall well-being. Never be afraid to confront your demons, but leave the emotional baggage and insecurities at home when thinking about what to talk about on a second date.
If you keep talking about your exes, your date may think you’re not ready to move on. Don’t share that you used to go here with your ex if you’re meeting at a coffee shop. Don’t mention that your ex disliked the band if you hear a particular song. That’s not what to talk about on a second date. These may seem innocuous comments, but they hint at deeper issues – ultimately, you’re not ready to move on.
Your old relationships are in the past. It’s essential to learn what you can from them and move on. Don’t let the ghosts of your past keep you from getting what you want in the future.
What To Do on a Second Date
How you behave on a second date is as important as what to talk about on a second date. Sure, the activities matter, but how you act will determine if your date wants to see you again, so keep these behaviors in mind if you’re dating.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Keep it real but within reason. You still want to be on your best behavior in the early dates, with good manners, appropriate conversation, and drinking at a minimum. Don’t let your nervousness make you behave anything less than the best version of yourself.
If your second date turns into a relationship, you’ll have a hard time being your authentic self if you start your relationship on a lie. Be the person you are, and don’t anticipate who you think your date wants you to be. It never ends well, so consider that when thinking about what to talk about on a second date.
Keep It Casual
Stay away from conversations that are too deep. It may scare your partner away if you share too much too soon, so you want to keep it casual. You’ll learn more about your partner, but don’t start with wedding plans when you’re thinking about what to talk about on a second date.
The flight or fight response is strong, so if you get too serious too soon, your partner may panic and run away, no matter how serious they are about you.
Flirt, Touch, and Use your Body Language
Body language says just as much as your words when considering what to talk about on a second date. If you’re into someone, make sure that you flirt with them, touch them casually, and lean into them. Make it very clear that you are interested in them in your words and actions.
If your body language is off-putting, they may think that you’re uninterested, so uncross your arms and be open. Be conscious of what to talk about on a second date with your words and actions.
When considering what to talk about on a second date, make sure you listen. Don’t just listen to talk. Your date can tell when you’re dying to share your own opinion and don’t care what they say. Listen and ask questions.
People love to talk about themselves, so give them a platform. It’s the best way to learn more about your date and keep the conversation flowing.
The last topic you should consider when thinking about what to talk about on a second date is opening the door for a third date. Making plans at the end of your second date will prevent anxiety. You can take the initiative and ask for a third date. If you’re not feeling it, that’s okay too! Not every date will end in a lasting relationship. Move on if you’ve gone through what to talk about on a second date and don’t feel a spark. Dating should be fun, not a chore.