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    Sexting

    What To Know Before Sexting Pics

    Cupid's Light StaffBy Cupid's Light Staff13 Mins Read
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    With all the technology these days, sexting has become a regular flirtation among teens, but some adults do it too. The old sexting of genius dirty talk dripping like honey all the things a lover seeks to hear is gone, and the dirty talk seems much less provocative than today’s well-lit booty close-ups. So, indeed, sexting has upgraded flirtation tremendously. However, some teens have emotional scars that prove that it can go awry. Some teens have even committed suicide in the wake of their lives going into chaos. This unfortunate occurrence has led to stricter laws surrounding teens’ sexting pics. So that you aren’t the next slut-shamed or sexually harassed one to endure seeing your nude pic passed around your circle of friends, allow us to guide you through the cyber sexting world unscathed.

    close up of a text message screen

    The Basics of Sexting

    Well, are you ready for this? A sext is a text message that is sexy. Some sexts are sexier than others, but we aren’t here to judge who’s who of sexy texts or to award the best overall or best dressed (or undressed, we should say) sexy pic. People had been sexting long before it had a name and used the AOL instant messaging service. However, people are stepping up their games with things like Snapchat and smartphones and apps. It seems that phone sex and creative flirting are all dead, along with the car phone and the portable cd player. This new way of flirting, apparently with your shirt off or provocatively held up one way or another or the otherwise sexually explicit image, is what a young person does to sext. The game of sexting has typically had no discernible effect on the psychology of teens and young adults. It’s rarer than you’d think that a teen will suffer the awful effects the media has highlighted in recent years. Although the sexting game is a young person’s game, a 30-year-old can enjoy sexting like a teenager. And get ready to hold on to that thought and your hats. In all actuality, plenty of the older crowd enjoys their awkward reveling with technology.

    The Golden Rule of Sending Nudes

    Even for the technologically advanced sexter, it is essential to remember that not all things that glitter shine meaning don’t share your nudies or cooties with just anyone. There is a real risk involved in sexting that you can mitigate by taking heed to these simple rules. Of course, there is a real stranger danger element that can have some damaging effects on a person regardless of age. After an intimate photo is shared, teens are most susceptible to sexual harassment and bullying. Whether the person is sending a nude picture to a boyfriend or crush, it’s out of the photographer’s hands after sending the picture. If you think that there aren’t things to worry about with your picture, well, friend, you are mistaken! There is a genuine accidental leak issue like a simple mistake. An accident is one thing wherein your boyfriend or girlfriend genuinely messed up with your picture by showing their friends the great shots of the pride parade, or a friend is perusing through your guy’s or girlfriend’s phone and comes by it honestly. It is the best worst scenario you could hope for with sending nudes. But, to avoid the mishap altogether, delete the intimate photos afterward or save them to a secret folder. It is your golden rule, delete or move your sexy pics or videos to a secured folder every time.

    Woman laying in bed texting

    Sending Nudes In an Abusive Relationship

    However, do you think that everyone has your best interest at heart or that a relationship won’t sour? The sad truth about the abusive person is that they’re typically very manipulative and calculated. While you think this is forever, they’re thinking about how they can make you prove your love is forever. It is a very touchy thing, trust and being trustworthy. In a potentially abusive relationship, the abuser will be your knight in shining armor for the first few months. In those few months, they will want to know all your ins and outs, like you’re your pet peeves or the mistakes you’ve made, the people you hold dearest and will be your best confidant. Before you know it, the abuse begins. Whether it’s emotional or physical, it makes no difference whatsoever. Both forms of abuse are equally devastating and never deserved.

    Sending Nudes: Consented or Coerced

    While the relationship between you and your person, you may have some very intimate moments. It isn’t farfetched that a boyfriend or girlfriend will want some mementos of intimate moments like intimate photos. How long will it take to find revenge porn to surface with the first fight to ensue between you two? We can get into more about revenge porn and what it is, but we must discuss coercion and how a young person begins sending nudes. The idea of a person who hasn’t necessarily given consent to send or receive nude pics or a dick pic was coerced into sending sexual content over the phone or computer. The coercion may be from a boyfriend or girlfriend or someone who knows the person wants to be in a relationship with them. The latter is the most frequently occurring situation, especially in teens. So, what happens after the consent, or does the person experiences cohesion? Almost nothing happens in a consented trade of a sexualized image, but let’s discuss the off-chance that something does happen and what does happen.

    What is Revenge Porn?

    Let’s start with image-based abuse. The abuse of uploading or even selling sexually explicit pictures is a real issue with conniving and bitter ex-lovers or even the jealous frenemies that love to hate a person for many reasons. The explicit depictions of sexual activity or otherwise intimate photos may have been stolen or hacked from the victim’s personal computer or cell phone. The abuser may have consented to take the picture on their device or sent the picture. Either way, you need consent. When the picture is initially taken, consent is required to share the image with a third party. The term “revenge porn” implies that the victim was involved in pornography, which isn’t always true. Then, it also implies victim-blaming by the term. It is a misnomer, and that’s the point of the new term “image-based sexual abuse.”

    Two girls sharing a phone screen

    The Long-Term Effects of Image-Based Sexual Abuse

    The image-based sexual abuse is a more accurate term than revenge porn but is essentially the same thing. The long-term effects of this sexual abuse are very similar to that of any other sexual abuse case. There is the fear of violence, especially when the abuser shares more personal information with the image, such as the name or address of the victim. The shame and feelings of being violated are present in this type of abuse. The photos may remain on the “revenge porn” websites; google, the victim’s family, friends, church, and boss may have seen the photos leaving much damage to the victim’s relationships and job. Although the laws are currently inadequate in most states in the country, the landscape of the image-based sexual abuse laws is improving over time. Some states are using and implementing established laws to prosecute the perpetrators. So, YES, image-based sexual abuse IS a criminal offense punishable by law.

    The Importance Of Getting Your Nudes Back

    Do you know the celebrities that warn you about not making a sex tape? We should have included in the warning about sending nudes, too. Whatever the motivation for the sent nude pic or pics, it isn’t wise unless you are sending nudes to a longtime partner who has proven to you that they are reliable and trustworthy with your explicit messages. Because there are so many people who sext every day, there are so many victims of revenge porn. The person a young person may have thought would respect the sexual activity and sexual content they once shared in the glory of producing together would be very discouraged to find out that the intimate images are strategically spread all over the internet for revenge. It doesn’t matter that you made a pact to dispose of every nude pic or that you are the one who will have to live with it. The nude photo, or nude photos, can be shared in a Facebook group or other social media outlets to set you up for cyberbullying and sexual harassment. If you are a victim of revenge porn, familiar people in your community could recognize you. Then you’ll feel your evil ex has won. It doesn’t have to be the end, though. We know how to do some damage control!

    A man in bed texting

    The Rectification of Sending Nudes with Google Images

    We love to know that there are some measures you can take to rectify the spread of naked pics or homemade pornography if you have pictures or pornography anymore. While removing any traces of your sordid images is an excellent start to keeping your name protected online, it isn’t foolproof. However, if you think you have the URL of the picture or video, you can use google photos to get it down. To start, open your web browser, any web browser. It doesn’t have to be chrome to work. Once you have the browser open, go to images.google.com and click the camera icon to upload an image, or you can browse your photos to select all that to see if it’s on the internet. It, unfortunately, isn’t the end, though. If you discover that you have pornography or a sexually explicit image of yours online, you can reach out to Google, but there is no guarantee the photo is Google’s to remove. A lot of times, the images on Google belong to another website. Of course, you can attempt to reach out to owners of whatever website may own your image, but there are no guarantees. On the other hand, there are a lot of changes with the sexual content on the internet, so you may get lucky to get a responsible website owner that will remove the sexy pic or video. Sharing nude pictures of you or someone else is called image-based abuse and has real-life consequences.

    If You’re Sending Nudes Anyway

    As we all know, we are sexual beings, and sexual activity is inevitable, especially when chatting on Facebook or other social media platforms or dating service websites. It’s not anyone’s place to tell you that you can’t, but if we can help you skate around sending nudes, why not? If your heart is set on sexting pics, head some good advice first. First, please attest to knowing the person who gets the privilege. You want to be extra vigilant in your match-making skills by verifying the recipient’s age long before you act. What if you were more innovative and made your face obscure or kept it out of the shot? When taking intimate pictures, you may want to take a look at professional photos to see how lighting can complement your body shape and how to obscure your face that is still sexy. Finally, get collateral! Make sure if you’re showing yours that they are showing you theirs! That’s pretty self-explanatory, right?

    Shirtless man texting

    Facebook Settings to Protect Your Nudes

    What’s even better is that Facebook has configured a setting for the naughty dick pics and sexy duck lips to be able to get rid of them for good truly. You can go into your settings in your Facebook messenger and pick how long you want a sent image to hang around for, anywhere from 30 seconds to an hour. It isn’t anyone’s business but yours and the lucky person you sent it to anyway. Also. Have you ever tried the old-school method of flirting called dirty talk? There’s a great teacher of all things dirty talk and has a radio show that is beyond words, Dan Savage? Check this guy out before you send that peek-a-boo shot.

    Sexting Is Illegal Under 18 Years Old

    Although the laws in the US are trying their darndest to catch up with the cyber world, there has already been a law implemented that states that any person under 18 years of age will be charged if caught sending or receiving explicit messages. The laws are severe. If you have any images of pornography or other sexual pictures, you will be accused of owning child pornography. Any person participating in the distribution of sexual content will be charged with the distribution of child pornography. It includes a sexy selfie or even a dick pic, so closely monitor your children’s online activity. Also, if you discover sexual content on your child’s phone, you are to report the findings to the police but don’t download or upload the nude pic to your phone or computer, whatever you do! By uploading the picture or pictures to any of your devices, you can also get charged with having child pornography. When you are a sex offender by owning or giving away child pornography, you will have to register as a sex offender, delete all social media accounts, and can’t live within a certain distance of a school or park, or playground. Not to mention the reputation of a sex offender that will follow you through the rest of your life! Maybe, every community in the US should have a youth advocacy society like the one in Australia.

    Woman texting

    Youth Law Australia Modeling Love for Children

    In Australia, the devotion to their children goes way down, like the down under we all lovingly refer to it. Legal and advocacy are unrelenting for any young person in need. The Australian society strives to assist their youth with any legal aid like “revenge porn” or even a change in their laws to advocate new and more relevant ordinances or laws. The whole point of Youth Law Australia is to empower, educate and assist the young people to better the country’s future as a whole. Of course, we have different assets to the communities here in the USA, but they are not typically united. Instead, they are independent community-based centers like crisis boarding and counseling centers. They don’t advocate for better laws for the young person to get past any traumas or anxieties stemming from past or current law enforcement abuse.

    The Point Is…

    There is a very valid point here. It is not to tell anyone that sexting pics is wrong or that you’ll experience criticism and ex-communication from your family for partaking in a normal, very sexy thing. As long you’re a consenting adult, you can freely go about your sexting business. Don’t send any unsolicited nudes or videos to anyone. You can find yourself in a mess of trouble! However, if you have any teens at home for which you’re legally responsible, you should monitor their activity, sexual activity, or otherwise. You, the parent, or guardian, have a duty to demand a phone check or a check-in as they play their favorite social interaction type of games like Call of Duty. In games of that nature, there are at least 50% of sex offenders online. They’re hunting for children like yours pretending to be a 14-year-old girl that wants a dick pic or vis versa. Be vigilant always. Passive parenting will get your teen son or daughter in pretty serious situations. Your kids know that you’re their lighthouse, their safety net, and they must see you protecting them from underage sexting and always in all cases.

    Cupid's Light Staff
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