Ultimate Guide to Facesitting

Attractive Woman Sitting on Bed in Underwear

There’s oral sex, and then there’s facesitting. Facesitting is superior to your typical oral sex routine and will likely lead to a more explosive orgasm. There has been more of a theme of female empowerment in porn in recent years. Porn categories like femdom (female domination), topping one of the most searched for porn categories in 2019, shows that there are both men and women who get off on women being in control in the bedroom. In heterosexual relationships, it’s more common for women to take on the role of submissive. Facesitting is a sexual practice that turns the table on gender norms in the bedroom and gives women complete control of their sexuality and orgasm.

What Is Facesitting?

So, what is facesitting? Facesitting describes the sexual practice of a woman receiving oral from her partner by sitting on their face. In this position, the female partner has control over oral sex and can bump and grind. Facesitting is also called “Queening,” which is likely aptly named for the dominating position facesitting gives the female pleasure. Facesitting is superior to other forms of oral sex because the positioning gives the female partner more control and applies more direct stimulation to her clitoris. It is monumental given that most women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm. In other forms of oral sex, or when a woman’s partner “goes down” on her, telling your partner what you want is tricky. When you are facesitting, you control the tempo, movement, and where you want stimulation.

What Do Men Think About Facesitting?

In short, most men love facesitting with their partners. Heterosexual men love women’s bodies, especially our vaginas. What’s sexier than being front and center to a woman’s vagina by having her sitting on your face? Men who like giving oral would agree that facesitting is superb when pleasing their partner. They get a mouthful of their partner’s naughty bits, and they also get to rest their neck. Oral sex can be tiring for the giver and can strain your neck doing it from certain positions. During facesitting, the giving partner needs to do nothing else but lie back and enjoy pleasing their partner.

Man Smiling

The only reason a man wouldn’t enjoy facesitting is if he finds the position uncomfortable for some reason or doesn’t enjoy giving oral. Both reasons are acceptable for disliking facesitting. No partner should ever feel pressured to do something they don’t want to do. But remember, ladies, if he doesn’t like giving oral, neither do you. Have you got that?

Are There Cons to Facesitting?

The only cons to facesitting typically boil down to the sexual act not being for you. Not everyone is going to enjoy everything, and that’s fine. Women who don’t enjoy receiving oral sex will probably dislike facesitting. Oral sex in modern times is a symbol of female sexual liberation. For most of history, sexual acts were (specifically oral sex) were focused on pleasing men, not women. Nowadays, people view male partners who do not offer to go down on their female partners as selfish or bad in bed. But some women don’t enjoy oral sex and prefer to be stimulated in other ways, to each their own.

Consequently, women who enjoy oral sex but dislike facesitting may dislike it because of its dominating nature. The submissive versus dominant roles in the bedroom, by and large, conform to our idea of gender stereotypes, meaning more women prefer to be submissive during sex. Preferring to be submissive in the bedroom doesn’t mean you are submissive in your relationship; it means you get off on your partner taking the reins. Because facesitting puts you in the ultimate dominant position, you may be turned off by the sexual act.

Facesitting Hygiene?

Although not necessary, you may want to consider your feminine hygiene before oral sex with your partner. Some women may dislike oral sex because they feel self-conscious about how they smell “down there.” First, everyone smells “down there.” It’s just part of being human. Secondly, most men don’t care or notice. Do you think the same guys who wear the same unwashed clothes for a week straight notice how you smell “down there”? Lastly, many men will confess to liking the uh, pungent or musky smell of the female anatomy. In short, there is no particular hygiene routine you must do beforehand to try facesitting with your partner. However, it would be best to do what feels best for you and your partner. It’s not unreasonable to shower or shave your lady bits beforehand if you like the feeling of being fresh and clean. You may find that showering or shaving makes the oral sex experience more comfortable for you and your partner. It may be imperative to maintain your feminine hygiene if you plan on having your partner eat you out from the other hole (your butt-hole). Preparing beforehand can save you and your partner from an awkward moment later.

Biracial Couple Talking to Each Other

The Ultimate Guide to Facesitting

Talk to Your Partner

Before you try facesitting (or any sexual act), discuss it with your partner first, it’s never a good idea to surprise someone with a sexual act they haven’t agreed to yet. Have an open conversation with them about oral sex and why you want to try facesitting. Oral sex is an intimate act that a new partner may not possibly want. If you’ve never had oral sex with your partner before, try doing it the more traditional way (lying on your back) before transitioning to facesitting.

How to Facesit Comfortably and Safely

One of the most common fears about facesitting is that you will suffocate or squash your partner. Likely nobody would indeed enjoy having their face sat on and suffocated from the weight. Though facesitting literally means to sit on someone’s face, you are not sitting on your partner’s face. Yes, your genitals will be on your partner’s face, but you will not be putting the full load of your weight on their head. The trick is to bear your weight on your knees. You should never plop down on top of your partner’s face like they’re a cushion. Instead, carefully straddle your partner’s face by placing one knee on either side of their head and keeping your weight on your knees. Gently lower down onto their face just far enough so that they can pleasure you with their mouth. If you do this correctly, your partner is in no danger of being suffocated because you can press off them at any moment. Also, be sure to check in with your partner often. If they feel uncomfortable, stop and regroup or try a different sex position at any time.

Couple Engaging in Intimacy

Support Your Upper Body

You may find facesitting easier to do when you can support your upper body. Kneeling over your partner’s face can get quite tiring after a while. Having support for your upper body can relieve some of the weight and pressure from your legs, meaning you’ll be able to last longer. Position yourself near a sturdy headboard or wall to have something to lean on. You may also be better able to control your movements to receive maximum pleasure.

Use a Queening Chair

A queening chair is sex furniture that is designed specifically for facesitting. A queening chair looks like a small stool with a slit down the middle. The female partner sits on this stool while her partner lies with their head below the stool. The slit down the center allows them to reach their partner’s genitals with their mouth to perform oral sex. Queening chairs make facesitting easier for the female partner by giving her a place to support her weight. It may also come in handy for women who are not confident in their ability to safely hold the facesitting position. Knee injuries or lack of strength in the leg muscles can make it more difficult. A queening chair will relieve some of those impediments and make facesitting more doable.

Woman Sitting on Top of Her Partner in Bed

BBW Facesitting Tips

If you’re a BBW (big, beautiful woman), facesitting might present a challenge for you. Sometimes carrying extra weight can make getting into certain sexual positions difficult. Contrary to what some might have to say, facesitting is indeed meant for BBWs. BBW can participate in facesitting, but they may want to consider specific precautions. Facesitting as a BBW may be more tiring as you must put more pressure on your knees and quads. In that case, you may want to consider taking breaks to give your legs a rest. You may also find it easier to perform this position on a harder, flatter surface rather than on a bed or soft surface. A flatter surface will give you more control of your weight distribution, while a softer surface will cause you to sink more. For this reason, BBWs should consider using a queening chair that supports their weight and poses less risk to their partner.

Bring Out the Kink

It’s no secret that facesitting, or queening, is nearly synonymous with the dominatrix fetish. Facesitting puts the female partner in a position of power, which is a turn-on for many men. Reversing the gender stereotypes in the bedroom is a thrill that most men probably won’t admit but desire. Turn facesitting into a full-on kinky experience by bringing out your inner dominatrix. Dominatrix techniques involve more than just the sexy leather outfit and whip. Being a dominatrix is about dominating your partner both verbally and physically. Let your partner know you’re in control and tell them what to do for you to get the most pleasure out of your sexual experience. Consider bondage, blindfolds, or even a bit of sadism. You might as well go all-in if you’re going to shoot your shot at being the dominant partner.

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Reverse Your Position

The reverse facesitting technique looks like the 69-sex position, except you’re the only one experiencing pleasure. Reverse facesitting is simply sitting on your partner’s face while facing the opposite directions (towards their feet instead of their head). Doing so may make this oral sex position easier on your knees as you can lean forward on your partner’s chest to distribute some of your weight. You may also hit your clitoris differently in this position, making oral sex feel more pleasurable. Having your partner’s chest to lean on will give you even more control of the movement and allow you to grind and bump in a way you find satisfying.

Try An Anal Plug

Anal plugs are sex toys inserted inside the anal canal for anal stimulation. Believe it or not, the anus contains nerve endings that are quite sensitive to stimulation. There is even such a thing as an anal orgasm. Using an anal plug during facesitting allows you to have both of your orifices stimulated simultaneously. There are different anal plugs, including vibrating and temperature-changing plugs.

Additionally, you can also use anal beads for the same purpose. Anal beads are tiny, round beads strung on a chain inserted into the anus. Inserting the beads and pulling them out creates a pleasurable feeling for the receiver. For ladies who need a little more stimulation to get them going, anal sex play may be just the thing.

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Safety First

Though any injury will rarely occur from facesitting, accidents happen. Before performing any sexual act, both partners should be fully on board. Listen to your partner’s concerns carefully before starting so you can make it a better experience for both of you. Facesitting could be uncomfortable for your partner if they have a bad neck or an asphyxiation phobia. If the idea of you sitting on their face makes them uncomfortable because they are afraid of anything near their face that could obstruct their breathing, it’s a valid concern. Sex shouldn’t be enjoyable for one partner if the other partner isn’t enjoying it equally as much.

Couple Sitting Together Half Naked

Be sure that you consistently check in with your partner while you’re on top of them. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, you may not take notice of your partner’s discomfort. Because your partner will not be able to communicate with you verbally (for obvious reasons), it will be harder for them to tell you when they need a break. Decide beforehand on a physical signal they can give you to notify you when they’re tapped out. Your partner can tap your leg or physically lift you off when they want you to stop. But in situations where your partner can’t use their arms (if they’re in restraints, for example), you will have to monitor their reaction continually. Stop often to check in and make sure they are alright before you continue riding them to orgasm.


Although it’s not sexy to talk about, you should discuss STDs before engaging in any sexual activity with someone. Oral sex can spread STDs almost as easily as penetrative sex. There is a possibility of receiving and spreading disease by performing oral sex. If your partner has an infection in their throat, they can easily spread it to your genitals by giving your oral sex. The same is true if you have an infection in your genitals that passes onto your partner’s throat. Before engaging in facesitting or any oral sex, make sure you and your partner check yourselves for STDS. STDs aren’t sexy, especially if you don’t talk about them beforehand.

Final Thoughts

Facesitting, or queening, may be the pathway to getting the most explosive orgasm of your life. Or it might not be. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. For those ladies who enjoy oral sex, sitting on your partner’s face can give you the ultimate control to obtain your pleasure. Experimenting with different sexual positions allows you to determine what works best to stimulate your body. We all have different needs and desires. Some of us haven’t even figured those out yet. Sex is often tricky for women when getting what they want in bed. Classic penetration can be excellent, but it’s hardly the best way for most women to achieve orgasm. Don’t be afraid to explore your sexual interests to get the most out of your sex life. You deserve to be satisfied in bed and if your partner disagrees, find you a new partner. 

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