Sometimes, people are no longer with each other, but their hearts still long for their ex. Despite the breakup, the longing gets stronger, causing unusual behaviors or confusing thoughts. Even if you already know how to get over your ex, they might not know how to get over you. If you’re getting mixed signals, there might be signs your ex is pretending to be over you.
They Can’t Resist Looking At You
Needing to look at you or see you is one of the most prominent signs your ex is pretending to be over you. Science suggests that holding your gaze on someone even for four seconds or more is a sign of love or interest toward them. If you catch your ex taking prolonged glances at you or staring longingly at your pics, there’s a good chance that they aren’t over you. Those big doe eyes are a dead giveaway that they are still longing for you. Do you find yourself staring at their pictures instead? You might need to learn how to get over your ex.
They’re Still Passionate About Talking To You
Another clear sign that your ex is pretending to be over you is that they are trying to stay connected with you through any means. This could mean phone calls, attempts at a face-to-face chat, or even trying to interact with you on social media. If they’re still tagging you in Facebook memes, there’s a strong chance they haven’t figured out how to get over you.
They Have A Welcoming Approach Towards You
If you approach your ex and they seem to have a positive response to you, there is a strong possibility that they have feelings for you. It’s one thing to be polite: make sure you don’t read simple etiquette as a sign of attraction. But it’s another thing altogether to be welcoming and warm, especially to an old flame.
Their New Partner Feels Insecure About You
If your ex has moved on to a new relationship and their new partner seems jealous, hateful, or resentful towards you, there’s a good chance they feel insecure about you. And why would they feel insecure? Maybe because your ex has been mentioning you in conversation or otherwise sending signals that they still value you in a romantic or special way. This would drive some feelings of resentment or jealousy towards you.
They Can’t Stop Asking You Personal Questions
If your ex asks you about random things like your relationship status, your whereabouts last weekend, or other personally sensitive things, there’s an excellent chance that they’re not over you. Think about it: when you’re learning how to get over your ex, one of the first things to do is let go of your attachment to their personal life. If your ex wants to know where you are, what you’re doing, or who you’re with is a clear sign that somebody still feels attached to you. When one is done with a relationship, chances are they’re happy to let go of their ex. But if they have lingering feelings, they’ll probably wonder what their ex is doing. The next time your ex asks you relationship-related questions, you should take it as a sign that they’re probably not over you.
They Do Favors
Another classic sign that your ex is pretending to be over you is when they can’t seize themselves from doing favors for you, no matter how small or large. This might mean running little errands for you, like getting your groceries or picking up that special new thing you mentioned you wanted. It might even mean helping with various household tasks or offering to help with money. Any unsolicited offer of help from your ex is a pretty good sign that they’re not over you.
They Get Physical
If your ex is constantly trying to show you physical affection — anything from brushing your hands to touching your knee, getting too close, or wanting a hug — they may not be over you like they say they are. After all, when’s the last time you wanted to touch someone you were totally over? If your ex is trying to get physical, they are not over you.
They Seem Happy in Your Company
Another one of the best signs your ex is pretending to be over you that your ex is still interested in you romantically is that they act very happy in your company. If they are laughing, smiling, and trying to engage while acting happy, they are probably still experiencing feelings for you. They might be trying to remind you of how good it was when you were together or show you how happy you make them. If they’re cutting up and laughing with you, they’re probably not over you.
They Show Open Displays of Jealousy
It’s not only about your ex’s new partner making uncontrollable displays of jealousy toward you. Your ex might do the same, especially if you have started seeing someone. A bitter ex showing signs of jealousy, such as sarcastic remarks about your new love interest, hostile body language, spreading rumors, or making vague social media posts, is definitely not over you.
They Overdo Showing Their Happiness
Is your ex taking pains to show how happy they are without you? Are they conspicuously flaunting their new love or trying to make you feel jealous? If your ex is trying way too hard to show how well they’re doing without you, they are putting on a show. This might include social media posts about how much better off they are, an unusually cheery disposition, or other peacocking. They’re trying to trigger jealousy in you by showing how much they don’t need you, but we know better: they’re not over you at all.
They Act Angry Towards You
It’s normal for some feelings of anger to surface during a breakup. However, if your ex seems to be holding a prolonged grudge, they might just be trying to cope with their lingering attraction to you. Anger can even be a sign of jealousy, which is usually a good sign that they still have feelings for you. Just make sure that your ex doesn’t go from angry to violent, and if you think your ex could become volatile, don’t be afraid to seek help.
They Have Done a ‘Partial’ Social Media Detox
When your ex has done a partial social-media purge, they have probably blocked you on several platforms but kept others open. In this case, they likely have a secret nugget of hope that you’ll try to establish contact with them again through the remaining channels. Leaving the door cracked a little bit, they are hoping that you will open it and come back to them with open arms. A partial purge is a good sign that your ex still wants you. You might even notice that you’ve done the same thing with your ex: maybe you left them as part of your Snapchat contacts. It’s possible that you might even need to learn how to get over your ex if you’ve left them on your social pages.
They are Not Ready to Let Go of Your Stuff
If your ex is hoarding your stuff by delaying returning it or just plain refusing to give it back, they are definitely not over you. That sweatshirt you left behind? There’s a good chance they have it somewhere special as a memento. Your favorite album or your coffee mug? A reminder for your ex of happier times, when they still had you. They may even be deliberately hanging on to your stuff because they know that if they give it back, you have no reason to see them again. Holding on to your stuff is one of the clearest signs your ex is pretending to be over you.
They Spy on You
If your ex is still harboring feelings for you, they will have a desperate need to know what you are doing and who you are with. Your ex might send their friends or even mutual acquaintances to spy on you and report back. They might even drive by your house, stop by your workplace, or try to ‘accidentally’ run into you in a public place. If your ex had access to any of your social media or email accounts, they might even try to snoop through your accounts to get information about what you’re doing. This is a clear sign that your ex still wants you.
The Bottom Line
Breakups can be hard. Sometimes, one partner has a harder time letting go than the other. It’s even possible that they will never really get over you. The complex mix of emotions and circumstances that surround the end of a relationship can be hard to read, and you might well be getting mixed signals from your ex. However, it’s safe to say that if you see these signs your ex is pretending to be over you we’ve discussed here, they probably miss you. At least part of them even wants you back.
This can be a mixed blessing. If you want to get back together with them, these can be signs of hope. You could begin trying to make amends and build a positive relationship again. Sometimes, strong couples go through a brief breakup before realizing that they are better together. However, if you are truly done with your ex, and they are showing you these behaviors, you should make it clear that you are done and that they must respect your boundaries. Perhaps get them a book on ‘how to get over your ex’ or even send them a Google search of the same. Breakups are complicated, but just like anything else in a relationship, a breakup is best managed with clear, open, and honest communication.