Improve Your Life by Harnessing Self-Confidence

Portrait of a confident woman with eyeglasses in office. Smiling businesswoman looking at camera.

Everyone is insecure in some way. It's natural and common to be critical of yourself. Even those who seem to have the most confidence harbor insecurities! Your foundation for confidence begins as a child and you carry it throughout your life, according to a June 2023 article by Care. However, it's never too late to improve your self-confidence.

Don't Drag Yourself Down

Focusing on the negative parts of yourself drags down your mental and physical health and productivity. Negative self-worth damages friendships and romantic relationships. It can even limit your career and daily functioning.

According to psychologist Dr. Lauren Florko, Ph.D., "Building your confidence and self-esteem is a daunting task. Yet building your confidence can benefit you in many areas of your life — the better you feel, the more you're willing to say yes to new activities or challenges, and the less likely you are to fall into vices for comfort. To begin to build your confidence, start by challenging your unhealthy thinking, building on your existing successes, and finding ways to validate yourself."

Those who have a negative self-image often don't give themselves what they deserve in life, as they don't see their worth. A lack of confidence can bring unhealthy relationships and friendships. Harnessing your self-confidence doesn't just mean that you enjoy checking yourself out in the mirror; it also means that you're confident in your worth as a human.

There are many methods and steps to becoming confident in yourself. In extreme cases, often due to abuse or trauma, professional therapy is necessary to help you overcome insecurities and lack of self-worth. While not a replacement for professional help, these small tips can help you harness your self-confidence and start feeling like a bad b*tch.

girl with red curly hair outside laughing at camera


Manifestation is a powerful tool to speak your wishes into existence. Choose a few mantras based on your personal goals and how you want to view yourself. Write them on sticky notes and put them on your mirror, or save them in your notes app to read during a pee break or difficult moment.

Read each of your chosen mantras to yourself every day to speak them into existence — preferably out loud. This is a perfect starting point for positive self-talk. Choose mantras that focus on the things you want to like about yourself!

Here are some examples:

  • "I am healthy. I am wealthy. I am beautiful. I am kind."

  • "I am enough. I have always been enough. I will always be enough."

  • "I love myself just as I am."

  • "I appreciate all the ways that I am unique."

  • "I am working on myself, by myself, for myself."

Look Your Best, Feel Your Best

You know those days when you walk into the bar or even the office and know you look amazing? You have on one of your favorite outfits, you had extra time to do your hair just right, and your winged eyeliner came out flawless. When you know you look amazing, you feel amazing too.

It's true that when you look your best, you also feel your best. Start feeling good from the outside in with some of these tips:

  • Take extra time to do your hair in the morning before work to feel good about how you look.

  • Set out an outfit the night before work to ensure you wear something you feel good about. Scroll through Pinterest for fresh ideas for your wardrobe.

  • Take a couple of selfies during "golden hour" just before sunset to materialize how cute you look today.

  • Tell yourself how good you look! Rather than standing in front of the mirror and dissecting your flaws, tell yourself something new you like daily — even if it's as simple as liking a freckle next to your nose.

Be Comfortable With Alone Time

A common downfall of insecure individuals is keeping themselves so busy that they never have to sit alone in their thoughts. Perhaps you're a people pleaser who says yes to every plan that comes your way, and therefore you have no time alone. Regardless of your personal story, alone time should be a priority. Start saying "no" to others and prioritize time by yourself.

Here are some tips to enjoy self-care time:

  • Set aside an evening to have a bath and read a book, watch a TV show, or listen to your favorite podcast.

  • Take yourself out to dinner at that restaurant you've been dying to try, or take your favorite fast food to a private spot for a picnic.

  • Start journaling by answering prompts, venting about your day, or reflecting on past experiences.

  • Say no to plans that you don't want to participate in. If you're not completely keen to do something, then don't.


One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is through exercise. Not only do you improve your physical health, but you release feel-good endorphins to improve your mental health too.

Choose your favorite way to work out, or try some of these:

  • Go for a walk or hike on your own.

  • Try something you're interested in — like pole dancing or rock climbing.

  • Find a yoga, Pilates, or calisthenics class on YouTube to try from your room.

  • Join your local gym and learn from a personal trainer how to lift weights, or take a regular Zumba class.

  • Practice mindfulness and meditation to relax your mind and nervous system. Body scans are a popular kind of beginner-friendly meditation that are easily available on YouTube and Spotify.

girl with polka dot shirt and curly hair smiling

You Deserve The Best

You deserve to feel comfortable in your skin and worthy of all the good things in life. It's difficult to start building your self-confidence, but even adopting small habits now will make a big change before you know it. Treat yourself with love and start feeling your best!

For more life tips and relationship advice, subscribe to Cupid's Light.

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