How To Pleasure A Woman In 8 Simple Steps

Introduction

Sex is an—as in one, not the only thing—-important factor in a relationship with a romantic partner. Focusing on your partner’s pleasure and learning how to pleasure a woman is an effective way to sexually arouse both parties and deepen the intimacy, bond, and relationship between two partners. When a woman is sexually satisfied, it makes for a happier and healthier woman.

Compared to a man’s erogenous zones that are more notable when aroused, a woman‘s signs of arousal or ways to pleasure her can be more challenging. We’ve put together this list of sex tips, technique tips, and methods and tools that can step up your sex game. From stimulating her erogenous zones to trying out new methods like BDSM or temperature play and working on your dirty talk, many methods and aspects can increase your female partner’s pleasure. We’re here to help you do just that.

Why Foreplay Is Necessary

Foreplay is necessary before engaging in the act of penetrative sex. Foreplay increases physical stimulation and engagement of the senses and an emotional one as well.

From kissing to caressing, foreplay prepares the mind and body for sexual intimacy. Physically it imposes vaginal stimulation to encourage lubrication for intercourse and vaginal penetration. Before having intercourse with your lady partner, add some intimacy and stimulation between you by engaging in foreplay.

How To Know If Your Female Partner Is Aroused

Though the signs may be obvious for noting when a male is aroused (as in erections), females can prove to be a little bit harder to tell if you don’t look for the subtle signs. Pleasuring a woman entails arous. Arousal leads to female pleasure if done correctly (which is what you’re here for!).

She’s Wet

One of the biggest signs that your partner is aroused and turned on is if she’s wet. Think of it as the metaphorical sexual floodgates opening up in preparation for sexy time. Like a male getting an erection, this is usually a notable sign that a woman is turned on. The “wetness” is a natural biological reaction used during sexual intercourse for lubrication purposes.

As stated above, a woman‘s “wetness” doesn’t always equate to being sexually aroused. Sometimes a woman is wet without being aroused. Sometimes it takes longer for a woman to get wet in preparation for sexual activities. Women have different wetness levels than others, while some women require extra lubrication to make sexual intercourse less painful since their natural lubrication isn’t enough.

Since a woman can be wet without being sexually aroused or not wet while being sexually aroused, it’s important to be aware of other signs that your woman is sexually aroused to properly pleasure her and see what turns her on (to increase pleasure).

Hard Nipples

Erect or hard nipples are another signifier that a woman is aroused. A woman‘s nipples become erect as a sign of sexual arousal or excitement (though they can also get hard when its cold outside). The tissue that derives human nipples has erectile tissue. This erectile tissue is in a male’s penis or a woman‘s clitoris.

An increased blood flow rushes around when a woman is excited or aroused. It results in the erectile tissue responding and becoming erect or hard.

Her Clitoris Is Engorged

During sexual arousal, there is an increase in blood flow (for males and females). Blood will flow to the penis to form an erection for a male. Blood will flow to multiple areas for a female, but the clitoris is the main object of a woman‘s arousal.

The clitoris, like a man’s penis or human nipples, is made up of erectile tissue. When blood flows to the clitoris it results in an “engorged” clitoris. An engorged clitoris means that the clitoris is swollen with blood. When a woman‘s clitoris is engorged, it can become harder and more sensitive, which results from clitoral stimulation, resulting in a more sensitized reaction caused by arousal.

The Deepening Of Her Breath

It is a common trait for most people that become sexually aroused. If you notice that your female partner’s breathing has deepened or gotten “heavy, ” she is more than likely aroused. Heavy breathing when sexually aroused occurs as the body works to pull more oxygen in as the body’s heart rate steps up and increases during sexual excitement.

Her Pupils Are Dilated

Studies prove that the pupil dilates when interacting in many environments that can cause excitement or otherwise. When a person sees something sexually arousing or exciting, the pupils will dilate—the same goes for when you look at someone you love.

Focus on your partner’s eyes. Intimate eye contact is another great tool for creating intimacy and arousal if done in a non-creepy way to see if her pupils dilate. It tells if she’s sexually aroused and if not, you’ve got some steps to follow below to get her there.

Clasping Her Legs Together

Don’t take this as a message to be making goo-goo eyes or creep eyes at your female partner’s crotch! That can make someone feel uncomfortable.

This female sign of arousal can be a tad harder to notice if you’re not paying attention. Still, if you notice your female partner squeezed, or clasping, her legs together, she’s more than likely very much so, sexually aroused and excited.

Her Erogenous Zones Are Extra Sensitive

There are many erogenous zones other than the main ones people can note, like the clitoris. Everyone has different erogenous zones exempt from the main erogenous zones.

Some erogenous zones to take note of are the lower back, the wrist, inner elbow, neck, and upper thighs, to name a few. As each person’s erogenous zones are not interchangeable, it’s important to either communicate with your partner to ask, or take your time investigating to be in tune with your partner’s pleasure zones for future reference!

When a person is sexually aroused their erogenous zones become sensitive. The sensitivity levels alter depending on the person, as some people are more sensitive to sensations or erogenous zones than others (this can sometimes be referred to as being more “reactive” or “sensitive” when concerning foreplay and sex).

8 Different Ways To Pleasure A Woman

One: Communicate With Your Partner

Like every relationship, communication with your sexual partner is essential for prime satisfaction and intimacy.

If you’re doubting how to pleasure your female partner, and are blanking where to start, don’t be afraid to ask what turns them on. Often people will know what turns them on, whether it’s talking dirty, whispering in their ear, being dominant, the list goes on.

Asking your partner what they like during sex can be a surefire way of getting all the other methods and tools you might mistakenly use that will not pleasure your female partner. For many women, this can be satisfying to know that you desire to please them, which can create an equal opportunity to happen likewise.

Discuss what you’re open to and not okay with (turn-offs rather than turn-ons) when engaging in sexual activities. It can lead to more pleasure during foreplay and during sex.

Two: Add Temperature Play

Hot and cold, the temperature can change depending on your partner’s preferences and what entices them to give an appealing, and pleasured reaction. There’s a range of tools that can entice some sensory play and excitement to pleasure a woman, anywhere from ice cubes and candles, .

If your female partner is into more heat-based temperature when playing, use only certain types of candles as some wax can burn the skin or cause irritation.

What Type Of Candles To Avoid Or Not Avoid

It’s always important to read the ingredients on the candles selected, or in question, to avoid using candles with ingredients that can cause burns or skin irritations. An example of such would be beeswax. This ingredient burns hotter than other candle ingredients and will burn the skin (a guarantee, not a possibility).

Candles that use soy or shea butter are less likely to cause irritation to the skin or incite burns. Unlike a paraffin candle, a soy candle will not generate as much heat that can cause irritation or burns to your or your partner’s skin.

There is also a difference between wax play candles and massage oil candles which will be explained below.

Massage Candles

Massage candles are for any beginners venturing into the act of wax play as a means to incite pleasure for one’s partner. Rather than wax play, candles are hardened in texture, massage candles are fluid as they melt.

Like the name suggests, massage candles, when they melt, have a consistency remnant of massage oil used during massages. The usage of massage oil for the first step into wax play and temperature play is a great first step. The fluid texture of the massage oil can be incredibly sensual, raising excitement and more sensations during and after foreplay. It can heighten the pleasure incited in one’s partner.

Massage Candles We Love

Three: Pleasure Them With An Erotic Massage

Whether in temperature play, wax play, or simply turning them on with an erotic massage, that massage oil is really going to come in handy!

Take your time setting up the mood and setting for your female partner’s erotic massage. Remember to make the message “erotic” you need to not only relax your partner but turn them on by teasing them with soft strokes that lead up to erogenous zones and then pulling away…only to do it again.

We recommend using soft lighting and staying away from fluorescent lights (they really just kill the mood). Put on some relaxing, soft music that can simultaneously soothe and arouse the senses.

As you massage your female partner, relaxing her with each stroke and nudge of your firm yet supple hands, start to tease her. Move around erogenous zones or lead up to them before pulling away and finally focus on those favorite erogenous zones they’ve been begging you to touch.

Four: Give Her Vulva Attention

The vulva is the outer part of a female’s genitalia. It includes the labia majora (outer lips), the labia minora (inner lips), the opening of the vagina (the vestibule), and the clitoris.

The labia, which includes the labia majora and the labia minora, contains nerve endings that can increase sensitivity and arousal if properly encroached on to entice sexual arousal and pleasure. Try massaging the labia gently to encourage sexual stimulation and engagement of the clitoris.

Five: Invest In A Vibrator

A vibrator is not your enemy or competitor. If anything,  it can be your best friend to successfully stimulate and pleasure your partner.

Vibrators are a great tool to use during foreplay or even during sex. The buzzing of the vibrator, though there are many different kinds of vibrators with different qualities, can be a stimulating assistant during foreplay with your partner, rising pleasure and sexual arousal vastly.

Run the vibrator up and down your female partner’s inner thighs, over and around the clitoris, labia, and mons. It will undoubtedly arouse and increase pleasure for your partner.

Clitious Stimulators We Love

Six: Look Into Other Sex Toys

There are an incredibly vast amount of sex toys out there waiting to be tested, trialed, and enjoyed. These sex toys can drastically engage your partner’s erogenous zones to improve stimulation and arouse, and undoubtedly increase your partner’s pleasure at the same time.

Sex toys have a multitude of uses and abilities. There are sex toys that suck the clitoris or nipples, while there are sex toys that rotate as a massager. Not all of the toys vibrate, as some people do not enjoy the vibration sensations. Double-check and communicate with your partner to see what she prefers.

Make it a sensual date by going to a sex store or shopping online together when picking out plausible sex toys. It can be a fun way to stimulate intimacy and engagement with each other, especially when your female partner will see that you’re trying to actively engage in sexual intimacy by caring for her pleasure.

Seven: Try Out BDSM Play

First and foremost, this needs to be consensual and thoroughly discussed before engaging in the act of BDSM play. BSDM can be invigoration and erotic when explored safely, but not receiving consent before dominating your partner, or spanking them, is not acceptable.

There are many different ways and methods you and your partner can step into BDSM. From spanking, choking, and using tools like whips and gags, BDSM play can add in a spark of fun and adventure between you and your partner if done safely.

Wrist and Ankle Cuffs We Love

Eight: Stimulate The Senses

It’s time to stimulate the senses and increase your partner’s pleasure.

From touch, sounds, smell, and sight, there is an array of ways you can tap into these senses to engage stimulation and arousal in your partner. It can be enacted during BDSM play, wax play, temperature play, etc. These examples of such can be more than just physical if you get creative enough!

Feeding one another, licking melted chocolate off her erogenous zones like her nipples, and smoothing a silk blindfold over her eyes (consensually, of course) are some further examples that can stimulate the senses and increase pleasure for your partner.

Conclusion

Pleasuring our woman partner can seem imposing and overwhelming if you don’t know where to start or look first. If you’ve been on social media, you’ll probably be seen the many females complaining about their sexual partners never helping them reach their pleasure, or “orgasm.” Many females even complain about having to “fake it” when engaging in sex with their partner.

The purpose of this article is to eliminate both of those issues. It’s not illogical or impossible for your female partner to receive pleasure if you know how to do it and where to start. Whether it be teasing her erogenous zones, giving her an erotic massage, testing out the waters with BDSM or wax play, or directly asking her what she likes to increase her pleasure, there are plenty of worthwhile and effective steps that can be used to successfully pleasure your female partner.

Now, it’s time to talk to your partner, find what proves to work best, and pleasure your partner!