Cupid's Light

    Get Cupid's Arrow

    Subscribe to receive the latest dating and relationship advice, health and wellness tips, product recommendations, and more.

    Popular Now

    What Is a Karmic Relationship and Are You in One?

    How To Make Yourself Cum Faster: 12 Tips and Techniques

    How To Give Your Partner the Best Blowjob Ever

    How To Use Nipple Clamps for Maximum Pleasure

    Latest Quizzes

    Are You Emotionally Available?

    Are You and Your Partner Emotionally Compatible?

    Are You Losing Interest In Your Partner?

    Facebook Twitter Instagram
    Cupid's LightCupid's Light
    • Dating
      1. Dating
      2. Online Dating
      3. Date Night
      4. Sexting
      5. Quizzes
      6. View All

      What Is a Karmic Relationship and Are You in One?

      Signs That You Are in a Clingy Relationship and What To Do About It

      The Top Things To Talk About With Your Boyfriend | From a Relationship Expert

      If A Man Really Loves You He Will Do These Top Things

      Top Reasons Why Ghosters Always Come Back to You

      Best Tinder Bios For Guys

      How To Be the Sexy MILF You’re Meant To Be

      Our Favorite Dirty Pick Up Lines To Say to a Guy

      11 Second Date Ideas for a Strong Relationship

      How Small Is Too Small for a Woman?

      How To Flirt Over Text With a Girl

      How to Effortlessly Plan the Most Romantic Date Night

      What To Know Before Sexting Pics

      Send These 9 Texts To Get Him Chasing You

      How to Start Sexting: 21 Unspoken Rules

      Are You Emotionally Available?

      Are You and Your Partner Emotionally Compatible?

      Are You Losing Interest In Your Partner?

      Which TV Show Is Most Relatable To Your Friend Group?

      What Is a Karmic Relationship and Are You in One?

      Signs That You Are in a Clingy Relationship and What To Do About It

      The Top Things To Talk About With Your Boyfriend | From a Relationship Expert

      If A Man Really Loves You He Will Do These Top Things

    • Sex & Passion
      1. Positions
      2. Passion
      3. Products
      4. View All

      How To Give Her an Orgasm and Make Her Cum

      How To Give Your Man a Fast Blowjob

      Top Lesbian Sex Positions Explained

      7 Kama Sutra Positions You Should Try

      10 Best Cuddle Positions for Any Relationship

      Sexual Attraction in a Relationship Can Help Increase Serotonin

      Physical Characteristics Aren’t The Only Things That Matter When It Comes To Sexual Attraction

      19 Reasons Why Chubby Girls Make the Best Lovers

      How To Use Nipple Clamps for Maximum Pleasure

      How To Pick the Right High-Waisted Bikini for You

      How to Use a Dildo for Maximum Pleasure 

      Clit Sucker To Make Her Climax

      How To Use Nipple Clamps for Maximum Pleasure

      How To Pick the Right High-Waisted Bikini for You

      How To Give Her an Orgasm and Make Her Cum

      How to Use a Dildo for Maximum Pleasure 

    • Marriage
      1. Date Night & Romance
      2. Intimacy & Sex
      3. Keep It Interesting
      4. Affairs & Divorce
      5. View All

      11 Second Date Ideas for a Strong Relationship

      How Small Is Too Small for a Woman?

      5 Signs He is Making Love to You

      How To Be Charming on a First Date

      10 Best Cuddle Positions for Any Relationship

      Why Kinky Porn Isn’t Always Bad for Relationships

      How To Give Your Man a Fast Blowjob

      Top Lesbian Sex Positions Explained

      How to Choose A Gift For Your Significant Other: 12 Gift Ideas

      Testicuzzi: You’ll Love Yourself for It

      From Friends To Lovers: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

      44 Interesting Questions To Ask a Guy You’re Crushing On

      Is Your Wife Cheating? 7 Signs You Should Know

      Extramarital Affairs: Who Cheats More?! Men or Women

      Dating After Divorce: The Qualities of a Person That Matter Most

      How To Be Happy Again After a Long Relationship Ends

      10 Best Cuddle Positions for Any Relationship

      Why Kinky Porn Isn’t Always Bad for Relationships

      How To Give Your Man a Fast Blowjob

      How to Choose A Gift For Your Significant Other: 12 Gift Ideas

    • Wellness
      1. Fitness
      2. Nutrition
      3. Mental Health
      4. Spirituality
      5. Sexual Health
      6. Quizzes
      7. View All

      Sexercise: How To Do It and Is It Good for Your Health?

      How To Look Your Best for Your Sexy Bikini

      Partners Who Train Together, Thrive Together: Home Workout for Couples

      The Happy Baby Yoga Position Explained

      21 Best Healthy Snacks to Buy for Couples

      How To Start Living for Yourself and Not Others

      8 Reasons To Stop Asking Yourself: Am I Ugly?

      Why You Should Start Living for Yourself

      How To Get Out of Your Head

      He Left You, Now It’s Time To Do Some Soul Searching

      11 Keys to Spiritual Growth

      Astrological Element Compatibility Quiz

      What Are the Main Types of Meditation?

      How To Be Happy Again and Get Your Mojo Back

      Why It’s Okay for Your Man To Jerk Off

      Are You Losing Interest In Your Partner?

      Are They My Soulmate?

      The DIY Self-Care Trend That You Shouldn’t Overlook!

      Which Attachment Style Is Most Likely Yours?

      How To Start Living for Yourself and Not Others

      8 Reasons To Stop Asking Yourself: Am I Ugly?

      Why You Should Start Living for Yourself

      How To Get Out of Your Head

    • Quizzes

      Are You Emotionally Available?

      Are You and Your Partner Emotionally Compatible?

      Are You Losing Interest In Your Partner?

      Are You Dating a Narcissist?

      Are They Into You?

    • Hot Products
      1. Products for Her
      2. Sexual Products for Her
      3. Products for Him
      4. View All

      Clit Sucker To Make Her Climax

      Vibrating Panties: The Gift for Her That’s Really for You

      Level-Up Your Skills With Sex Furniture

      Our Favorite Vibrating Wand Collection

      Clit Sucker To Make Her Climax

      Anal Beads For Her Pleasure

      Vibrating Panties: The Gift for Her That’s Really for You

      Is It Time for a Sex Swing? Here Are the Facts

      Testicuzzi: You’ll Love Yourself for It

      Level-Up Your Skills With Sex Furniture

      Quickly Satisfy Your Needs with a Pocket Pussy

      9.0

      Together – Couple Conversation Card Games to Improve Communication

      How To Pick the Right High-Waisted Bikini for You

      How to Choose A Gift For Your Significant Other: 12 Gift Ideas

      Clit Sucker To Make Her Climax

      Vibrating Panties: The Gift for Her That’s Really for You

    • Our Picks
    Cupid's Light
    woman orgasming
    Sex & Passion

    How To Give Her an Orgasm and Make Her Cum

    Cupid's Light StaffBy Cupid's Light Staff13 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Email

    Listen up boys, if you have to ask your partner if she finished, she didn’t. We’re just spitting facts. Women have a much more difficult time orgasming than men, for a lot of reasons. Our bodies don’t respond as quickly to physical stimulation as men do. To make her cum, you need to learn some tips about both the female anatomy and her mental game. Being with a partner who doesn’t ever, or rarely orgasms, during sex can feel awful. You might feel like you’re bad at sex or can’t please your partner the way she wants. You are certainly bad at sex if you ignore her needs in the bedroom. The first step is to make the effort to do things she finds satisfying. But if you are most attentive in bed, then you’re likely not the problem. Read on to learn more about why women have more difficulty reaching climax and how you can make her cum, again, and again.

    Is It Hard To Make Her Cum? Why Women Have Difficulty Reaching Climax

    According to studies, only 65% of heterosexual women have an orgasm all or most of the time during sex. That’s in stark contrast to 95% of heterosexual men. The orgasm gap is an unsettling issue in men and women’s relationships. So, why is it that women are having fewer orgasms than men? There can be any number of reasons why a heterosexual woman fails to achieve climax during sex. Much of the reason could be attributed to the lack of knowledge of women’s bodies. Porn and popular media show women having wild orgasms on-screen in sex positions that likely do nothing for women. Women rarely climax from penetration alone. Clitoral stimulation is necessary for most women to orgasm, yet this erogenous zone often gets ignored in heterosexual sex.

    But there can be other reasons why you can’t make her cum during sex that have nothing to do with your knowledge of the clitoris. For many women, achieving orgasm doesn’t happen from physical stimulation alone. Her head needs to be in the game for her to reach that blissful, euphoric moment. If she’s stressed out, depressed, or preoccupied, it can be difficult to make her cum. Other factors that can affect a woman’s ability to orgasm could be past trauma, body confidence issues, medication, tiredness, or miscommunication. Learning how to make her cum involves first learning the reason for why she is having difficulty climaxing.

    blurred image of woman in bed grasping bed sheets in ecstasy

    How To Give Her an Orgasm and Make Her Cum

    Communicate

    Communication is key to a satisfying sex life. Talk to your partner about what she likes in bed. Ask her what you need to do to make her cum. Ask her to tell you how she wants to be touched and what kinds of positions or sex acts she wants to try. Keep in mind that if she is inexperienced, she may not know what she likes. Or she may be too embarrassed to tell you. Do your best to make her feel as comfortable as possible talking about her body. Start by mentioning the things she does to you that you like. Then move on to how you like to touch her. Ask her if she likes the things you do or what she would change. It’s very difficult to know how to please someone unless they tell you. Sure, you can experiment and try to figure it out. But it saves both of you time when there is open communication about your likes and dislikes.

    Let Her Lead the Way

    If she can’t tell you how to make her cum, ask her to show you. Most women can orgasm through masturbation. She’s had years of solo experience learning what can make her cum through doing it herself. If you really want to know how to make her cum, she’s the one to get pointers from. Ask her to show you how she touches herself to make her cum. You can learn the spot, rhythm, and pressure she prefers to get her off. You can make masturbation part of your foreplay. Watching her pleasure herself is going to be exciting for you to watch as well. And if she has any sort of exhibitionist tendencies, she may get aroused by the idea of you watching her. Watch the way she makes herself cum and follow her lead.

    woman on top her man in bed

    Focus on the Clitoris

    The clitoris is a highly sensitive erogenous zone on the female body that contains thousands of nerve endings. It’s a small nub located at the top of the labia, in between where both lips meet. For 37%of women, clitoral stimulation is necessary to reach orgasm. If you want to make her cum, focus on the clitoris. Direct clitoral stimulation is the best route to take to make a woman orgasm. You can stimulate her clitoris using your fingers, tongue, or a sex toy. Every woman is different, but generally rubbing the clitoris in a slow, circular motion gets the juices flowing. Once she’s aroused, experiment with different rhythms, pressures, and speed. Communicate with her throughout to find out what she likes. If she tells you she likes something, keep doing it. You’ll be more likely to make her cum by sticking to exactly what she likes. Don’t jump the gun by trying something new and risking it failing. You could mess up her concentration and ruin her orgasm. Key takeaway, when a woman tells you she likes something, don’t stop until she tells you to.

    Spend More Time on Foreplay

    The vagina doesn’t respond to sexual stimulation instantly. Female arousal requires some foreplay before you can shove the P in the V. The vagina secretes its own lubrication when a female is aroused. Lubrication is necessary for penetration. Without sufficient lubrication, penetration can be painful for women as it creates too much friction in the vagina. While lube creams certainly can do the job, it won’t make it any easier for you to make her cum Having intercourse without being properly aroused can be, well, boring. When a woman is aroused, her vulva and clitoris become engorged with blood. Arousal makes her sex organs extra sensitive, meaning sex feels more satisfying. If you want to make her cum, you need to put in the work to get her to a point where orgasm is even possible for her. Spend more time on foreplay. Touch her in the right spots (nipples, inner thighs, and of course CLITORIS), kiss her neck, swap some tongue kisses, or excite her with some dirty talk. Get her hot and heavy to make her cum, don’t expect the magic to happen as soon as the P reaches the V.

    Go Slow

    On average, it takes women about 13 minutes to reach orgasm compared to men’s 7 minutes. Women’s bodies work differently than men’s. It takes more than physical stimulation to make her cum, she needs to be relaxed and in the right headspace. Don’t be in a rush to make her cum. If she feels like you’re anxious or rushing, it will upset her mental game. She won’t be able to relax, and it will be near impossible to make her cum. Spend your time on foreplay and other sexual acts besides intercourse. Most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. So, don’t put all your energy into penetration thinking that’s going to make her cum. Focus on other sexual acts like finger play or oral sex before intercourse. And if you really can’t wait to go for it, consider using desensitizing spray to prolong your own orgasm. You’ll be able to satisfy her longer in bed. If you can’t last long in bed, that’s fine. But just because you’re done, doesn’t mean she’s done. Sex isn’t over when you’re finished, it’s over when you’re both finished. You may have no more energy left for thrusting, but your mouth and fingers work just as well. If you want to make her cum, then step up your game.

    man about to kiss woman gently on the mouth

    Find the G-Spot

    The key to make her cum through penetration is by finding the G-spot. The G-spot is in the upper front wall of the vagina. It’s a sensitive spot of soft tissue that’s connected to the clitoral network. It’s been debated whether the G-spot exists or if it is present in all women or only some. The answer seems to lie somewhere in between. The G-spot may be more sensitive or easier to find in some women versus others. The best way to find the G-spot is to insert your finger into her vagina in a “come hither” motion. G-spot stimulation is said to produce earth shattering orgasms. To make her cum through penetration, experiment with different sex positions that hit the G-spot. Try thrusting in upward motions to get the tip of your penis close to the front upper wall of her vagina. In doing so, you’re more likely to hit the mythical G-spot.

    Play With Sex Toys

    Sex toys are fun for solo play, but they can also be incorporated into your bedroom routine. Sex toys can spice things up and possibly deliver more pleasure than intercourse alone. If you want to make her cum and give her multiple orgasms, invest in a vibrator. Use the vibrator to give her clitoral stimulation before, after, or during intercourse. The added stimulation will increase her arousal and make it easier for her to cum. You could also try sex toys that stimulate her other erogenous zones, like nipple clamps or anal beads. These other erogenous zones are often forgotten during sex but can add a whole other element of pleasure. If you want to make her cum, don’t be afraid to try new things in the bedroom. Make a date out of going to a sex shop and picking out toys she’ll enjoy. You may discover new ways to pleasure her you didn’t even know existed. A sexy date picking out sex toys can double as foreplay.

    heart shaped box full of sex toys

    Indulge in Her Fantasies

    Everyone has sexual fantasies. Your partner likely does too. Have an open conversation about your sexual fantasies and what you’d like to try in the bedroom. Start the conversation off by admitting your own sexual fantasies, then ask her what hers are. Reassure her that nothing she will say will turn you off. Talking about sex, especially sexual fantasies, can be hard for some people to admit to. We’re all afraid we might be judged for what we like. But sexual fantasies are just that, fantasies. They aren’t necessarily indicative of our character. We just like what we like. If your partner has a sexual fantasy that you both are interested in trying, do it. Ramping up the excitement in the bedroom might be what she needs to make her cum. Common sexual fantasies include BDSM, rough sex, and role play. Experimenting with your sexual fantasies will teach you more about each other’s likes and dislikes. You’ll also build a deeper bond trying new things together.

    Establish Intimacy

    Porn films and popular media exaggerate sex for what it is. Our perception of sex through popular media is that it’s always sexy, raunchy, and orgasms come quickly. There tends to be a lot of focus on trying out ridiculous sex positions for the sake of not being “vanilla.” But sex is ultimately about a connection between two people. Most of what we see in porn and media is not realistic. And much of the sex acts we see performed by actors won’t make her cum in real life. For women especially, sex is more enjoyable when there is a deeper connection involved. If you love your partner and want to make her cum, remind her of how much you love her. While there is a time and place for rough, primal sex, remember that sex is also about making love. You need to establish an intimate connection between the both of you during sex. Do this by verbally telling your partner how much you care for her while having sex. And don’t forget that kissing can be a crucial part of establishing a romantic connection. Sex without a connection can feel like you’re being used, and nobody likes that feeling.

    man and woman cuddling in bed

    Try Different Sex Positions

    Different sex positions feel differently for every person. If you and your partner stick to the same old routine every night, switch things up. Try different sex positions that are better for stimulating her erogenous zones to make her cum. Rear entry positions like doggy style, for example, are often best for G-spot stimulation. Woman on top positions such as the cowgirl position, typically have a better chance of making a woman orgasm. Women on top positions allow her to control the speed and depth of penetration to her liking. It’s easier for her to achieve clitoral stimulation in these positions. You and your partner can also try the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). The CAT is a sex position that allows for more clitoral stimulation during penetration. To do it, the male partner will be on top in missionary position. He’ll then shift his weight forward and to the side while continuing to thrust. From this positioning, the base of his penis will be more in contact with his partner’s clitoris. The clitoral stimulation is more likely to make her cum.

    Should You Be Concerned if You Still Can’t Make Her Cum?

    If you’ve done all the above steps, and you still can’t make her cum, don’t panic. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are bad at sex or that she is not attracted to you. Go back to the very first tip and try communicating with her. Ask her to be honest with you about what’s going on. Maybe she is dealing with a lot of stress, maybe she’s self-conscious of her own performance in bed, or maybe it’s an entirely different reason. All you can do at this point is keep trying. Maybe she’s unsure of what will make her cum, and it can be a learning experience for both of you. If she continues to be unsatisfied in bed, understand some of the responsibility is on her as well. She needs to tell you what feels good, otherwise how will you know? The fact that you are willing to try and please your partner makes you a wonderful sexual partner.

    concerned african american man gazing out window

    The Bottom Line

    The key takeaway for learning how to make her cum? Communication and effort. Two people need to be on the same board in the bedroom. Otherwise, sex is likely going to be unsatisfying for one of them. Continue to have open conversations with your partner about your sex life and what will make her cum. Try new things that make both of you happy. But don’t rush the process. We all have a different timeline when it comes to discovering what works for us in bed. Be patient with your partner and enjoy the learning process together.

     

    Cupid's Light Staff
    • Website

    Cupid's Light Staff is a group of writers focused on empowering you with actionable relationship and wellness advice, providing you with engaging activity ideas, and bringing you the latest must-have relationship products.

    MORE LIKE THIS

    How To Use Nipple Clamps for Maximum Pleasure

    12 Mins ReadBy Cupid's Light Staff

    How To Pick the Right High-Waisted Bikini for You

    13 Mins ReadBy Cupid's Light Staff

    How to Use a Dildo for Maximum Pleasure 

    13 Mins ReadBy Cupid's Light Staff

    How to Cum Faster 10 Tips and Techniques

    13 Mins ReadBy Cupid's Light Staff

    Comments are closed.

    Get Cupid's Arrow

    Subscribe to receive the latest dating and relationship advice, health and wellness tips, product recommendations, and more.

    Top Reviews
    9.8

    The Deep Tissue Percussion Muscle Massager You Need by Mebak

    By Cupid's Light Product Review Team
    9.7

    Adam & Eve’s JoyStick Rechargeable Wand Will Change Your Life

    By Cupid's Light Product Review Team
    9.6

    Orgasm Issues? Never Again With the Womanizer!

    By Cupid's Light Staff
    9.4

    Why You Need the Magic Massager STAT

    By Cupid's Light Product Review Team
    9.3

    The Hot or Not Quiz for Couples: Sexy Card Games For Couples with Naughty Questions and Revealing Answers

    By Cupid's Light Staff
    HOT NEW QUIZZES

    Are You Emotionally Available?

    Are You and Your Partner Emotionally Compatible?

    Are You Losing Interest In Your Partner?

    Are You Dating a Narcissist?

    Are They Into You?

    Cupid's Light
    • RELATIONSHIPS
    • MARRIAGE
    • COUPLES WELLNESS
    • SEX & PASSION
    • HOT PRODUCTS
    • WRITE FOR US
    The information on cupidslight.com is for information and entertainment purposes only. Cupid's Light is not responsible for any outcome arising from the use of the information on this site. You should consult a qualified professional familiar with your situation before using the information on this site. You must obtain consent and obey any applicable laws when engaging in sexual activities.

    Cupid's Light Participates in various affiliate programs, which means we may earn a commission on any purchases made using our links.

    © 2022 Cupid's Light. All rights reserved. Terms, Privacy & Cookie Policy

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

    We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
    Cookie SettingsAccept All
    Manage consent

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
    CookieDurationDescription
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
    cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
    viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
    Functional
    Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
    Performance
    Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
    Analytics
    Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
    Advertisement
    Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
    Others
    Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
    SAVE & ACCEPT