Your partner plays many roles in your life, including your best friend, biggest confidant, and greatest fan. They’re cheering on your successes and comforting you after your failures, but sometimes, we put too much pressure on our significant other. If we’ve isolated ourselves from other loved ones in our lives, it can put undue stress on our relationship. Having no friends means that your partner is the only significant person in your life.
Whether by design or naturally drifting apart, you’ll want to consider getting back in touch with your friends, family, and loved ones. A great support system is essential to having a healthy relationship, so let’s look at some of the common reasons you don’t have any friends, what you can do to make new friends, and the critical roles friends can play in your life.
Your relationship will be stronger once you realize just how important friendship can be in your life.
Why Do You Have No Friends?
When we start a new relationship, it’s exciting. You want to spend all your time with your partner, and because of that, you can begin to isolate yourself from your friends, family, and loved ones.
Once the new blush of a relationship fades, our other friendships and relationships often come back into our lives. You may even start to make friends with your partner’s essential people. Too, you can introduce your partner into your life and integrate them into your existing relationships. Not everyone may like them, but they’ll respect your choices.
However, your self-imposed isolation can last longer, and your relationship may suffer. Your partner cannot be everything to you. You need to be able to vent, talk, and build relationships outside of your home to ensure a healthy relationship. If you over-rely on your partner, it may be draining to them. They may not be able to express their wants and emotions because they are too busy managing yours, which can lead to relationship problems.
Examine why you have no friends, digging deep to understand the root cause behind why you’ve pushed everyone but your partner away. If you have isolated yourself, it’s time to reach out and try to rekindle your friendships or make new ones. If your partner has separated you, it can indicate a more significant issue in your relationship, and you may want to seek help.
If you’re one of the 22% of millennials who believe they have no friends, you’ll want to step back and examine why you’re feeling this way. Understanding why you have no friends is critical to moving past those barriers, helping you establish healthy, long-lasting relationships in all aspects of your life.
Reasons You May Have No Friends
One-sided relationships can be draining on your partner, and you may not even realize you’re doing it. Take a step back and assess your social circle. If you recognize that you have no friends, here are some common reasons.
Mental Health
Mental health can be one of the most popular reasons you have no friends. You will push people away as part. Depression and anxiety are self-fulfilling prophecies in some ways. If you have low self-esteem, you may think that you’re not worthy of love, attention, and affection, and you start to exhibit behaviors that prove that. You believe people always leave, so you do things that make it hard for them to stay.
If you’re suffering from an eating disorder or an addiction, you may want to push people away so they don’t catch on to your self-destructive behaviors. If you have mental health issues that cause you to isolate yourself and have no friends, you should seek help. They can help treat your mental illness, discuss your feelings, and move forward to re-establish the relationships and friendships you need to thrive in life.
Social Isolation
Many of us suffer from social anxiety, especially after social distancing for so long. It can be hard to remember what social interaction was like before we tried to stay safe distances from each other. You may even have a hard time picking up social cues, so you have no friends.
One way that you can get over social isolation is to watch the behaviors of those around you. See how they’re reacting to a situation and adjust if you don’t have friends and aren’t sure how to make them look for common interests. If you see someone with a book you love, politely offer your opinion. Pick up a hobby. Go to a painting class. Join an online gaming group.
There are endless ways to break your social isolation in person or online; you have to make the first move. If you have no friends and want them, you’ll have to make an effort. No one is going to beg to be your friend. Just remember that online friends are not the same as in-person friends.
Selfishness
If you are an inherently selfish person, it may be hard for you to keep friends over long periods, and you’ll find yourself with no friends. While we all have our own needs, it’s essential to make time for our friend’s concerns. Listen to what they have to say, and not just wait your turn to add something to the conversation.
Selfish people can be narcissistic and lack the empathy needed to hold friendships and relationships. It can be draining on relationships to only focus on one person’s needs. Instead, it should be a give and take. Consider how you can be less selfish with your time and your relationships.
If you have trouble going into one conversation without discussing yourself, look internally to understand why you need to be the center of attention. No friends will want to stay around if you’re mean and selfish all the time. It’s not always about you. There’s a give and take in relationships.
Negative
Consistent negativity can drain our relationships, eventually pushing away even the most patient people and leaving you with no friends. If you always assume the worst of others and those bad things will happen, then you will only see negativity in the world.
There is a time and a place for venting. Everyone has bad days or something that irritates them that they need to get off their chest, but it will become a problem in your friendships if that’s all you do. Negativity is contagious, and no friends who value their mental health and wellbeing will want to sit by and be contaminated by it. Negativity can be toxic to relationships if you don’t check it.
Chronic Loneliness
Loneliness is a natural part of life, but chronic loneliness can become a problem. You may feel alone in a crowded room of people because you don’t know where to start when you have no friends. You may stay home because you’ve forgotten how to interact with the outside world. You may feel like you’re not worthy of love and respect and isolate yourself from others.
Loneliness looks different to everyone, so it can be hard to pinpoint what behaviors you have that led to your loneliness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about having no friends, start by reaching out to one person outside your relationship. It could be a friend, family member, co-worker, or someone else. Start small and work yourself up to larger gatherings.
Choose carefully lest the person is hypercritical or hurt about you coming back into their lives. Just because you are lonely doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Look for ways to build meaningful relationships with your loved ones. By working one day at a time, you will overcome listlessness and the fear of having no friends. Be patient, and don’t rush it. Give yourself plenty of time to recharge after socializing. You may feel emotionally and physically drained, which is normal until you build your tolerance back up.
Social Media
Social media was once a great way to unite us with friends from all over the world, helping us connect with those from our past and learn more about people we’ve just met. Our social network is not a substitute for genuine interpersonal relationships. While you may have over 1,000 Facebook friends and 10,000 followers on Instagram, how many will show up if you need them?
If the answer is none, you have no friends. So often, we mistake our online world for reality when it’s just a curated subsection of what we want the world to see about us. You may spend too much time focusing on your digital world that you don’t realize that you have no friends in real life.
Social media can be a conversation starter, but don’t let your relationships live on social platforms. They will be shallow and fleeting if they do, just like your followers. Nothing is forever on your social network.
How to Avoid Toxic Friendships
Having no friends is better than having toxic, one-sided friendships or frenemies. If you feel like you are giving more than you get in a relationship or a friendship, you may be in a toxic friendship.
You may also feel like a person is trying to upstage you, embarrass you, or sabotage you. Discuss how you’re feeling with your friend, and if they dismiss your concerns, it may be time to cut them out of your life. Toxic friends will only bring you down, so it’s better to have no friends than fake friends.
New relationships are an excellent opportunity to learn who your real friends are. They will feel happy for you rather than try to ruin your relationship with petty jealousness. If you notice negative behaviors that aren’t rooted in concern for your wellbeing, it may be time to cut that friend out of your life.
You may notice that you are a toxic friend in some situations, and if this is the case, you will need to address your behaviors immediately. Unless you cut out your negative tendencies, you will have no friends.
Why It’s Important to Have Friends
Having friends can be beneficial to your relationship and your mental health. It gives you space to be yourself, bonding with others who have similar interests. If you have no friends, here are a few reasons that may make you re-think your lone-wolf status.
Sounding Board
Friends outside your relationship can be your sounding board. Your partner should be supportive, but sometimes, you may not want to bring everything to them. It can be stressful for them to shoulder all your burdens single-handedly. By diversifying who you talk to, you can still get the support you need while giving them a break.
You may still want to talk to your partner after you’ve already processed many of your emotions. That’s completely normal and natural. You can still share it with them, but they won’t absorb as many of your feelings during the discussion.
Too, by sharing your problems with other people, you can get different perspectives to help you process. You and your partner’s viewpoints may skew because you’re close. An outsider’s view can help you obtain a new perspective on problems perplexing you. If you have no friends, you’ll often live in a vacuum circulating the same ideas and advice.
Acceptance
Friends are great because they know how weird you are, and they love you. Your partner does the same, but they may not have the same interests as you. Instead, you can have girl’s nights where you drink wine and watch the latest reality show. You can gossip over the latest Netflix series and reminisce about the old days.
Acceptance helps you build your confidence. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not and feel more comfortable in your skin. If you want to cry, your friends will cry with you. If you’re going to rage out, your friends will make you feel justified in your feelings. It’s nice to let it all out with your friends sometimes. You’ll come home happier and lighter, and your partner will thank you.
Socialization
Socialization with others is critical to our mental wellbeing. Even if you’re an introvert, interacting with humans is still vital. You’ll learn so much about yourself from others and observe how to interact with the world. If you and your partner are on an island, you’ll miss out on much of the world around you.
Invite a couple of friends over to play games or have dinner. Make it a priority to socialize both as a couple and individually. You’ll recharge away from your partner and come back home re-energized as you discuss what’s to come. Having no friends is never a good idea. One person can’t meet all of your needs and still take care of their own.
Shared Interests
Your partner may think it’s cute to describe the plot of the latest YA romance book, but there’s nothing like chatting over coffee with a friend who has read it. You can share all your theories, what you’re hoping for in the next book, etc. Shared interests can help you uncover more you have in common and give you someone to talk with about your passions.
You don’t have to love everything your partner does and vice versa. Having friends with shared interests will give you a platform to discuss your passions without having to catch your partner up or force them to pay attention. Over time, you’ll get annoyed, so find friends who can geek out over your passions. You may even grow a bigger friend group because of it.
Have Fun
Friends are an excellent way for you to have fun and cut loose. Your partner can still be your preferred going out buddy, but it’s no substitute for a night out on the town with your besties.
Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Help
Getting professional help shows courage, so don’t hesitate to contact a clinical psychologist or therapist if you feel depressed, anxious, or otherwise stressed about having no friends. Having no friends can cause stress in a relationship, so you must have healthy networks that can support you in all areas of your life.
It is not to say your partner should not be the first person you turn to for all the big moments in your life. You are with them for a reason. They are the first person you want to share the great news with and call when you’re having a bad day. That’s not going to change if you have a healthy relationship.
What you need to work on is if they are your only friend. Having no friends forces your partner to play every role in your life, which can be exhausting to them. In healthy relationships, you need to establish boundaries. If your partner feels like you rely on them too much, listen to their words and identify how you can relieve their burden.
Remember, there can be times when your partner isolated you on purpose. If this is the case, you may need to exit the relationship. That suggests it may be toxic, and you don’t want to be trapped in a relationship because your partner forced you to depend only on them.
Your therapist can help you understand why you’re having difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships outside of your partner, so don’t hesitate to seek help. In time, you’ll go from no friends to a healthy network.
