Butterfly Sex Position Explained

While the missionary position is still widely popular among both men and women alike (missionary is one of the top preferred sex positions among women), most couples would agree that it’s fun to switch things up in the bedroom now and then. Trying new sex positions can make your love life more exciting, and learning a new position gives you and your partner something to look forward to for your next scheduled or impromptu romp. But while there are many creative sex positions you and your partner can experiment with within the bedroom, sometimes you need to start slow. After all, we don’t all have superhuman flexibility and stamina like they do in “adult movies.” The butterfly sex position is one of the best sex positions to start experimenting with when you want to take it up just a notch. The butterfly sex position is only a slight variation from missionary. So, for those of you who enjoy missionary, you might want to try this one out.

What Is the Butterfly Sex Position?

Like most sex positions, the butterfly sex position gets its name from the way you and your partner look while doing it. In this case, when you and your partner are doing it right, you resemble what a butterfly looks like with its wings closed. So, how do you do the butterfly sex position? The butterfly sex position requires the giver to penetrate their partner while their legs and hips are up in the air, resting against the giving partner’s chest. The butterfly sex position requires at least one partner to have a penis or strap-on dildo. Although you can incorporate the butterfly sex position in LGBTQ relationships, we will only be referring to cisgender heterosexual male and female couples for this article. Let’s move on to how you and your partner are going to make a butterfly.

To start, the female partner should have her hips and buttocks on the edge of the bed. Her male partner will then stand or kneel in front of her and lift her legs to rest on his chest while slightly raising her hips off the bed. Holding onto either her hips or thighs, he will penetrate her in the desired pace and depth comfortable for both partners. While getting it on in the butterfly sex position, one thing to keep in mind is the height of the surface the female partner is lying on. The male’s penis should line up correctly with his partner’s pelvis. He should also be mindful of how close his shins are to the bottom of the bed frame, as all that thrusting could accidentally cause him to bang his shins (ouch). The female partner can feel free to let her calves lightly rest against her partner’s chest, or she can wrap them around his neck to pull him closer. Other than that, she doesn’t have much else to do but lay back and enjoy. As with many sex positions, the male partner will have to do most of the work here.

Tips for Doing the Butterfly Sex Position

Both you and your partner will love the butterfly sex position because of its ability to give you maximum, deep penetration. The angle of your partner’s thrusting allows him to reach all of your deep vaginal erogenous zones. Namely, the G-Spot, an area in the upper vaginal wall, is connected to the internal clitoral network. The G-Spot produces intense female orgasms and even causes female ejaculation (yes, it’s a real thing.) Additionally, the butterfly sex position is an excellent position for stimulating the female partner’s clitoris, either herself or by her partner. While her male partner is thrusting, he can use one hand to play with his partner’s clit for her better satisfaction. This will work better if the female partner tightly wraps her legs around his shoulders, as then he won’t have to use his hands to hold her legs up. The female partner is also free to use her hands or a sex toy to stimulate her clitoris if she prefers. Although, she may have to use at least one hand to grab onto the sheets if her partner is thrusting especially enthusiastically. The male partner can also feel free to reach down and play with his partner’s breasts during the butterfly sex position.

Besides the excellent feeling of getting deep into their partner’s vagina, men also have the advantage of getting a great view of their breasts bouncing up and down. This works well in his favor since men are more visually aroused than women in sex positions. He will then also enjoy watching his partner play with her breasts or clit if she chooses to. Either is a bonus for him. The butterfly sex position gives men complete control of the depth and pace of their thrusts. This means he can make it work for his max sexual satisfaction. Some sex positions are meant for lovemaking, while others are meant for raw, primal fucking. The butterfly sex position is closer to the latter. The amount of space between both partners means it will be more difficult for romantic intimacy. But while it’s nearly impossible to kiss each other while doing the butterfly sex position, it does allow couples to look into one another’s eyes for a more intimate connection.

Not all sex positions will work for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that. Depending on their physical restrictions or personal preferences, different angles and depths will feel better or worse for everyone. This means some sex positions will get you off more than others. If the butterfly sex position doesn’t seem to be hitting it quite right, it might not be for you. However, it might just mean you need to tweak it a bit to feel the full benefits. One of the biggest perks to the butterfly sex position is the deep level of penetration it allows. However, some people don’t always find deep penetration in sex positions to be very pleasurable. This is truer for women, as going too deep can sometimes lead to pain during sex. This is more likely to occur in women who have shallower vaginas or very well-endowed partners. If that’s the case for you, a slight position change during the butterfly sex position could alleviate the problem. Instead of lifting her legs straight up onto her partner’s chest, she can bend her knees and brace her feet against his chest. This will allow her more control over the speed and depth of her partner’s thrusts. If something feels uncomfortable, she can easily push back and signal for her partner to slow down.

It’s also important to mention that the height of your hips has a lot to do with how much pleasure you will get from the butterfly sex position. To have a better shot at hitting the vaginal erogenous zones, like the G-Spot, the female partner needs to keep her hips elevated higher than her partner’s. This gives him a better angle to get in there deep. Both you and your partner should work on adjusting the level of your hips to find the best angle that works for you in the butterfly sex position. If keeping her hips elevated becomes tiring, the male partner can help his female partner by supporting them with his hands to hold them up. Another trick is to place pillows underneath her hips to keep them elevated during the butterfly sex position. This will relieve both partners from using any extra energy to keep them up. Pillows might also be a good idea to place underneath the knees of the male partner to protect them if you are doing the butterfly sex position on a more rigid surface.

Make the Butterfly Sex Position Even Hotter

Many couples find the dominant versus submissive dynamic in sex positions to be sexy and exciting. Playing into these roles could mean more sexual satisfaction for both partners. The butterfly sex position requires the female partner to be submissive, as her part in the sex act is to lay back and enjoy. Her male partner is automatically in the dominant position, as he is doing all the work. But if you wanted to spice it up more, you and your partner could experiment with a little bit of bondage. Bondage is a consensual sex act that includes using rope, handcuffs, adhesive tape, or any safe material to restrain one’s sexual partner during sex positions. Because the butterfly sex position does not require the female partner to use her hands, couples could experiment with restraining them. The female partner is in an excellent position to have her hands tied together or tied to the bedpost. Experimenting with bondage in sex positions increases the power dynamic, making for an even sexier experience. As with any sexual activity, be sure both partners are comfortable with trying out bondage beforehand.

If you’re not into bondage, another option for making the butterfly sex position spicier is to take it out of the bedroom. The butterfly sex position is an easy sex act to perform on different surfaces because the man can perform standing, and his partner needs the edge of a sturdy surface. For example, why not try doing the butterfly sex position on the kitchen table, couch, or your home staircase? Trying out sex positions in a different environment will change things up and make it more exciting. This can be true, especially if you are in shared living quarters. The idea of potentially getting caught having sex is arousing for some couples. It adds a sense of urgency and mischievousness to the act knowing someone could bust them at any moment. If this is your thing, give it a go next time on the kitchen counter while waiting for your roommate to return from their dinner date. You will all be in for a sexy surprise.

Safety Tips for Butterfly Sex Position

The butterfly sex position has a low chance of either partner coming to any serious harm. However, as mentioned earlier in the article, the butterfly sex position can sometimes feel too deep for some women. It is always important to check in with your partner while experimenting with sex positions to ensure that they are experiencing pleasure and are not in any pain. Communication is vital for having the best possible sexual experience for both of you. Don’t be hesitant to try as many different angles or sex positions as you need to until you find the perfect way to make the sex enjoyable. If you decide to try any bondage techniques, as suggested earlier on, make sure you do so safely and consensually. Sex is supposed to be positive and pleasurable for each participant. This should always be kept in mind, whether you are doing the butterfly sex position or other sex positions.

Similar Sex Positions

If you are a pro at the butterfly sex position by now, you might be willing to try some new variations to keep it interesting. Below are similar variations of the Butterfly Sex Position that will keep your wings flapping all night long.

Spoon It

The butterfly sex position requires the female partner’s legs to be up in the air for quite some time. If you don’t have the most flexible hips or hamstrings, this could get uncomfortable after a while. If you’re not ready to switch to a new position just yet, though, the female partner can try laying on her side in the spoon position, with legs closed and turned over to the side. Her partner can keep thrusting from where he was previously. Sex positions with the female partner’s legs closer together make for a tighter fit. This may be ideal for male partners with smaller penises as they feel more prominent inside the vagina.

Legs on One Shoulder

Not so different from the butterfly sex position, this slight variation can help penetration feel tighter for both of you. Instead of the female partner resting her legs on either side of her partner’s chest, she lays both legs on only one of her partner’s shoulders. Her partner can then use one hand to grab hold of her feet to keep her legs together. He can use his other hand to place on her stomach or grab her thigh for more stability. This sex position primarily benefits the male partner if he lacks in the size department down there. As in the spoon position, the female partner’s legs being closer together will narrow the entry point for her partner’s penis. She’ll benefit from the tighter fit by having a greater chance of her G-Spot being stimulated by increased vaginal friction.

Praying Mantis

 Yet another sex position named after an insect, the praying mantis position, most likely gets its name from the way your body might look like the insect when you’re in action. The female partner will lie on her side for the praying mantis to work, with one leg up in the air resting on her partner’s chest. Her other leg will lie flat in between her partner’s legs. The male partner will then enter her from a standing or kneeling position. He can hold onto her lifted leg while he continues to thrust in and out. This angle will feel tighter for both partners and will have a greater chance of stimulating the female partner’s vaginal erogenous zones.

Right Angle

To perform the right-angle variation of the butterfly position, the male partner will have to sit in front of his partner with his legs straight out in front of him. The female partner will be lying flat, with her partner’s legs on either side of her. Her partner will then lift both of her legs until they are resting against his chest. He’ll then pull her towards him so that he can enter her more easily. This sex position may take a few adjustments to get right, as some men might find it harder to thrust from their seated position. If that’s the case, the female partner can grab onto his legs for leverage and glide up and down her partner’s shaft herself.

Deep Impact

For this variation of the butterfly sex position, the male partner will need to be on his knees. He can either kneel on the bed in front of his partner or on the floor below her. It will depend on his height and the height of the bed, of course. From here, the female partner will lift her legs and rest them on either one of her partner’s shoulders. She can also wrap them around her partner’s neck to bring him closer. The male partner will need to grab his partner by her thighs and pull her close to him while he thrusts inside her. This slight position change from the butterfly sex position allows for even deeper penetration and more intimate contact.