Marriage is a beautiful thing. Two people love each other so much that they decide to become one unit, sharing everything forever. Wedded couples get to enjoy forever dates, building lives together, sex and intimacy. But marital bliss can sometimes become wedded boredom. The week becomes an endless, cyclical slog: pasta night, Taco Tuesday, work, weekend, repeat. It can get a little monotonous, and monotony can breed feelings of dissatisfaction. So how can you spice up your marriage and keep things fresh? It’s easier than you might think.
It might sound superficial, but looking nice for your partner is a great way to spice up your marriage. One of the beautiful things about marriage is becoming comfortable with one another, but sometimes that comes at the cost of our fashion choices. We might spend the entire day in pajamas and an oversized t-shirt. We might even lounge around in our underwear — racy! Regardless, taking the time to put a little effort into your appearance can keep things fresh. Men, get a shirt that fits you right, maybe a nice button-down and some jeans. Ladies, you might enjoy shopping for a new casual outfit. You don’t have to wear a three-piece suit to look sharp. Your partner will notice the extra effort and appreciate it — it might even inspire them to do the same, or even begin a round of flirtatious behavior.
Touch Each Other
Not like that. Well, sometimes like that. But what we mean here is that you should have a meaningful physical relationship with your partner. This isn’t just sex; it’s intentional and affectionate physical gestures throughout your day. You could hold hands in the car or give your spouse a gentle brush on the arm in the kitchen. A short shoulder rub or a gentle kiss can release oxytocin, which helps us form love bonds. Lovingly touching one another can bring you closer together. Loving touches feel good and help us with both sex and intimacy. Touching can be very comforting and very comfortable. Cuddling up on the couch or snuggling under the blankets is a great way to enjoy the loving touch of your spouse.
Use Little Gestures
Everybody likes to get a present. The best part is, gifts don’t even have to be huge or expensive. You could write a little love note and stick it in your wife’s lunchbox or cook your husband his favorite meal. You might spontaneously decide to meet for a lunch date or buy your wife a lovely gift. If you notice they’re tired, you could offer to do something for them or even tuck them into bed. Little gestures of affection are a fantastic way to show love. They’re also an easy way to make your partner’s day. Why not make them happy if you can?
You might be thinking: exercise? Really, you’re telling me to exercise to spice up my marriage? That is precisely what we are telling you. Exercise keeps your body in top shape. Exercising together is a great way to get fit while incorporating other relationship-building elements. This can all be accomplished with something as simple as holding hands while you go for a walk.
Are there any other benefits to exercise? One of the biggest is that exercising regularly can increase your sex drive. This is likely because it also reduces stress and builds confidence, both of which help us have the mental energy to seek sex. And of course, exercise makes us physically stronger, which improves stamina and energy levels. Exercising together is a great way to spice up your marriage in and out of the bedroom.
Making plans together is one of the best ways to spice up your marriage. Almost everybody likes to think about vacation: make plans for a getaway together, even if it’s just a weekend in the city. Planning a dream vacation can be a fun exercise in collaborating and getting to know one another. Your spouse’s ideas for something to do might surprise you. Maybe your husband wants to go skydiving together, or your wife thinks it would be fun to rent a houseboat in the Ozarks. You could plan out your ideas for retirement or make plans to move somewhere or try something new. Whatever you decide to plan together, it’s nice to have something to look forward to with your spouse.
Give a Massage
A massage is one of the best experiences a person can have, especially when an intimate partner gives it. In this hectic world, we often carry a lot of stress and tension in our muscles. Many of us have jobs that require staring at screens or sitting for long times or jobs that keep us on our feet. A sensual massage with some nice oil and scented candles is a wonderful way to begin an evening of sex and intimacy with your favorite person.
A fun way to spice up your sex life is to consider a tantric massage. This is a sensual and deliberate experience, where one partner focuses entirely on pleasing the other through the art of physical massage. That includes physical massage of the sexual organs, and while having sex isn’t necessarily part of a tantric massage, it certainly would be a welcome outcome for many couples.
There are two kinds of bathing together, and they’re both great ways to keep things interesting. The first way to bathe together is the romantic way. Pour a hot bath, set up some candles, and dim the lights. Turn on some nice music and spend some time together in the bath. You could even bring wine and cheese! Soaking in hot water together is a great way to relax, unwind, and enjoy some quality time together.
The second kind of bathing together is just taking your everyday shower together. This is a fun way to add some novelty to your routine. You and your spouse get to be naked and hang out, and it’s a great place to talk about the day — or even to engage in some sex and intimacy. Plus, you’ll save money on the water bill.
Marriage is great, but after a while, we do kind of settle into a routine. Think about it: when was the last time you really made out with your partner? Like high-school romance made out? It has probably been a while. Even having sex regularly is no guarantee of a good old-fashioned make out session. But making out can be great fun. Not only is an impromptu make out session a fun throwback to an earlier time, but it’s also a great way to bond with your partner and show spontaneity. Best of all, you don’t even have to do anything special: you can just put on The Great British Baking Show and make out to some ambient TV.
Maintain Separate Interests
Being part of a couple means you do a lot of things together. By default, you share a lot of interests. That said, it is healthy to keep a sense of your own identity outside of the context of your relationship. Maintaining separate interests is a great way to build your own sense of identity. It’s also a good way to give your partner space to do their own thing too.
There are several benefits to maintaining separate interests. First, you get to pursue something you enjoy on your own terms. Maybe you are a vegetable gardener, and you want to spend time working on your passion project. Or maybe you’ve always wanted to read the entire collected works of Stephen King. Whatever your interest is, Take the time to do it. Engage in your hobby, and don’t expect or pressure your partner to join you. Second, you and your partner now have a built-in conversation topic. You can tell each other what you’re up to, share information, and boast about accomplishments. Ironically, doing things separately can help bring you closer together.
Married, Not Dead
It might be popular to complain about marriage in sitcoms or TV shows, but a good marriage is wonderful. Two people become one unit, knowing each other deeply and intensely, bonded forever. The companionship, the sex and intimacy, the feeling of being loved…the benefits of marriage are practically endless. But even the brightest spark can fade, and it’s essential to keep your marriage healthy by spicing it up from time to time. As we’ve shown, it doesn’t even have to take a lot of work! Just being a little extra nice to your loved one and making a modest effort goes a long way toward maintaining a thriving marriage. Follow these tips, and you’ll be living in wedded bliss for years to come.