8 Reasons To Stop Asking Yourself: Am I Ugly?

In the age of social media, it’s almost impossible not to ask yourself, am I ugly? Worshiping beauty idols is nothing new. The famous statue, Venus De Milo, influenced the Western world’s idea of beauty since its discovery in 1820. The perfectly sculpted figurine of the female figure features perfectly pert breasts and killer abs. Her features are not much different than the features we idolize today. Social media and celebrity culture make many women feel like they can’t compete.

Much like ancient women couldn’t compete with a man-made sculpture, a modern woman is forced to compare herself to Instagram filters and expensive cosmetic surgery. Who isn’t asking themselves am I ugly when skimming through a social media influencer's feed? Much like the Venus De Milo of ancient times, today's standard of beauty is impossible for women to achieve. No one can compare to perfection because perfection doesn’t exist. It’s about time we stop asking ourselves the question, am I ugly? Otherwise, we will continue to fight a never-ending battle with our appearance.

The Importance of Beauty

Am I ugly? Most of us ask ourselves this question at some point in our lives. There’s nothing wrong with being beautiful or wanting to be beautiful. Physical appearance is important, there’s no doubt about that. What you look like is just one way we communicate with other people. Sometimes appearance can tell a lot about a person. Think about it. If you saw someone on the street with messy hair wearing a stained t-shirt, your first impression would be that they don’t bathe regularly. That and they don’t take much pride in their appearance. Were you to see a person with perfectly coiffed hair and wearing a freshly dry-cleaned pantsuit, you’d assume they do take pride in their appearance. And because they put effort into their appearance, they likely put more effort into other areas of their life.

Presenting yourself to the world often shows a lot about the person you are. Fashion and personal style are ways for humans to express themselves visually. We all want to feel and look our best. But everyone’s “best” different. We all have different physical characteristics as well as different personal styles. Unfortunately, conventional beauty standards are very discriminating. And for those who don’t fit into society's beauty ideals, it negatively impacts our body image and self-esteem.

Beauty and Bullying

The first time most of us asked ourselves the question am I ugly likely occurred in grade school. When puberty hits and hormones rage, our bodies go through changes. We deal with everything from bad skin, weight gain, hair in new places, and many other physical changes. According to one bullying survey, 59% of participants said they were bullied because of their physical appearance. Being bullied for the way you look is nothing new. Kids (and adults) can be cruel, but it’s even tougher on kids growing up in the age of social media influencers. Beauty ideals are impossible. Kids and teens who might have otherwise had a healthy body image are torn to shreds trying to keep up with photoshop, filters, and cosmetic surgery. But while we can’t change society's standard of beauty, we can change our own. What we perceive as beautiful does not need to match society’s ideals. Below are reasons why you should stop asking yourself, am I ugly? Once you learn to accept yourself, you’ll no longer be a slave to beauty.

8 Reasons To Stop Asking Yourself Am I Ugly?

1. Am I Ugly? Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beholder

The first reason to stop asking yourself, am I ugly, is because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We’ve all heard this saying before, but what does it mean? Is there any truth to it? What this saying means is that we all have different preferences. Our ideas of beauty and attractiveness differ based on our personal opinions. Whom you define as an attractive person may differ from who your friend finds attractive. The same is true for everyone. So, just because one person believes you’re ugly doesn’t mean you are. Before you ask yourself, am I ugly, consider this quote from the famous burlesque performer, Dita Von Teese: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”

You can’t define yourself by someone else’s opinion of you because everybody has a different opinion depending on who you ask. Asking yourself, am I ugly, is pointless. There might be plenty of people who think you’re ugly, true. What’s also true is that plenty of people think you are beautiful. What you might consider personal flaws may mark attractiveness to someone else. The world is a big place filled with all kinds of people who think differently. Everyone has their idea of what they consider beautiful. Should you ask, am I ugly, know that somewhere out there, you are someone’s ideal.

2. Am I Ugly? You’re Only Ugly If You Believe You Are

You can ask yourself, am I ugly? But the only person who can answer that is you. What you believe about yourself is all that truly matters. If you believe you’re ugly, then you are. However, if you believe you’re beautiful, then you’re beautiful. Most of us rely too much on outside validation. We care too much about what others think. We listen to others’ opinions and believe them to be facts. But opinions are not facts. Just because a friend or family member tells you you’re ugly, doesn’t make it so. That’s their opinion. Unfortunately, many of us internalize others' opinions of ourselves. We believe what others tell us about ourselves without challenging their ideas.

Your friend or family member might believe you’re ugly because you don’t fit their standard of beauty. But they might also tell you you’re ugly simply to put you down. You may be seen as beautiful by dozens of your other peers. But because you listened to the opinion of one or a few people, you walk around asking yourself, am I ugly? Until you learn to block out the criticism of others you can learn to accept yourself. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but you do not need to hold the same beliefs as them. If someone thinks you’re ugly, that’s their opinion. You are entitled to your own opinion as well. So, if you want to believe you are beautiful, then you are. No one else gets to define who you are but you.

3. Am I Ugly? Being Beautiful Isn’t Everything

Before you ask yourself, am I ugly, ask yourself why it matters. How do you believe that being beautiful will positively impact your life? It’s no secret that beautiful people are treated differently. Statistics show that a beautiful person is much more likely to succeed in their career. Beautiful people get hired for jobs more easily, get free drinks at bars, and in many cases, are treated better in society. Beauty is most definitely a currency, but it’s not everything. There are just as many miserable, beautiful people as ugly people. Beauty may attract many admirers, but it doesn’t guarantee true, loving relationships. And while being cute might get your foot in the door at work, there’s only so long you can skate by on looks alone.

Being beautiful doesn’t equate to happiness. Everyone has problems and insecurities regardless of their physical appearance. While asking yourself, am I ugly, ask yourself how much you think beauty will truly change your life. Free drinks are nice but are they worth your mental health? Is not getting let into a nightclub because you’re not considered beautiful going to define you as a person? Do you need to be beautiful to have a fulfilling life?

4. Am I Ugly? Beauty Doesn’t Define Your Worth

You can ask yourself, am I ugly, all day long. But you should be asking yourself, am I a good person? Beauty doesn’t define your worth as a person. There is more to you than what you look like on the outside. Leading a fulfilling life and being an interesting person is not based solely on how you look. Talent, ambition, generosity, intelligence, and kindness are just some of the traits that truly define who you are. We are all multidimensional personalities that deserve to be judged by who we are, not what we look like. You may not look like a supermodel but so what? Maybe you weren’t genetically gifted, but you possess plenty of unique talents that make you a loveable human being. How you treat people and what you bring to the world are much more important than what you look like. Anyone can get a makeover, but not everyone is someone people want to be around.

5. Am I Ugly? Attractiveness Isn’t Only About Appearance

When finding a romantic partner, asking yourself, am I ugly, is just part of the equation. Physical appearance is only one attribute that determines attraction. The chemistry between two people is more than skin deep. Other factors such as pheromones, voice intonation, and even smell also play a part in physical attraction. And, of course, personality is a determining factor in what makes two people good partners. You may find a person extremely physically attractive, but if your personalities don’t match, there’s a low likelihood you’ll be in a successful relationship.

Additionally, someone’s personality can change how you see them physically. Have you ever met someone you initially thought was beautiful before you got to know them? But once they revealed their true selves, all you could see was their flaws?

Maybe you discovered this person was unkind, boring, or not who you thought they were. The initial attraction you felt for them faded once their personality took over. Similarly, you may have had this experience with someone you believed was unattractive at first. However, they became more attractive to you once you got to know them. They became more attractive to you because of their awesome personality. Suddenly, all you notice is their beautiful features, kind smile, or endearing quirks. Asking yourself, am I ugly, doesn’t answer what kind of person you are. Your personality determines how attractive you are to another person. Makeup and toned abs can only do so much for you.

6. The Right People Won’t Judge You Based on Looks

If you’re asking yourself, am I ugly, ask yourself what does it matter? The right people will love you for who you are, not your appearance. If you are hanging out with people who treat you badly because of your looks, find new people to hang out with. Your looks are the least interesting thing about you. Good people will see your worth in who you are as a person. Shallow people will judge you based on what you look like. But why would you want to impress people like that anyway? You won’t be for everyone, no one is. We should be discriminatory when it comes to who we spend our valuable time with. If people dislike you for your appearance, don’t waste your time with them. They are not people who will add value to your life. Know your worth and surround yourself with people who don’t make you ask yourself, am I ugly?

7. Beauty Fades Anyway

You can obsess all you want about your looks, but eventually, we all become old and ugly. It’s the ugly truth of the matter. We are most attractive in our youth thanks to our increased energy and vitality. But the older we get, we lose those youthful, attractive traits. It’s just life, and you can’t fight nature. If you spend your whole life asking yourself, am I ugly, you’ll miss out on all that life has to offer. When people let being beautiful become their whole identity, they often become undeveloped in other parts of their personality. As they age, they have difficulty navigating their new reality where they can’t rely on their looks. They don’t know who they truly are because they never developed interests or talents outside of managing their appearance. When you’re asking yourself, am I ugly, ask yourself if you care. Ultimately, we’ll all be on a level playing ground with our appearance. But if your looks are all you care about now, will you be happy with who you are in the future?

8. Not Everyone Is Beautiful, and That’s Okay

If you ask yourself, am I ugly, the answer might be yes. The harsh truth is that not everyone is conventionally beautiful. That doesn’t mean you should not love yourself and feel confident in who you are. It just means that you are not considered attractive to the broader society. But so, what? If you’ve learned anything at all from this article, hopefully, it’s that beauty is overrated. Our culture is obsessed with beauty. We’re just as obsessed with idolizing beautiful people as we are with convincing ugly people that they too can be beautiful. On the surface, reassuring ugly people that they are attractive sounds like a nice thing.

But we are instilling the message into their minds that their appearance is more important than any other aspect of their being. Isn’t it just as nice to compliment someone on their intelligence or talent? Aren’t these traits just as valuable (if not more so) as being attractive? Maybe it’s time we stop focusing so much on being beautiful. Maybe it’s time we became comfortable with all parts of ourselves, not just our appearance. Maybe it’s time we stop asking ourselves, am I ugly, and start living.

Am I ugly? Who Cares?

Not everyone is beautiful. If we were, think about how boring the world would be? Variety is the spice of life. People are all different shapes, sizes, and colors. We’re all different, and that’s how it should be. Asking yourself, am I ugly, is a moot point. You will never attain true happiness by trying to conform to everyone’s idea of beauty. It’s impossible. But beauty is only skin deep. You have more to offer this world than a pretty face. Don’t fall prey to the belief that your appearance determines your self-worth. It doesn’t.

You are a multidimensional human being capable of amazing things. You might not be able to make it as an Instagram model, but so what? There are plenty of successful and happy people who are considered “ugly” by society’s standards. Yet, they haven’t let their appearance stop them from living a wonderful life. So, why should you? Stop asking yourself, am I ugly, and start enjoying your life.